[tastefullyoffensive]

Avocato. (via handofgranite)

[marisatomay]

If you’re ever somewhere past closing time and an employee says “it’s no problem take your time :)” they’re lying through their fucking teeth it is 100% a Problem and you need to go

[vesface]

[hannigraham]

I was looking at selfie sticks on amazon and i think this review is so sweet and cute

[yourresidentginger]

my anxiety has a loophole that if somebody is else is equally or more uncomfortable I develop the sudden ability to Do The Thing

[castielsteenwolf]

i cant go and ask for more ketchup for myself but if my friend wants more ketchup im out of my seat in a second

[inactiveblogger-deactivated2018]

*September arrives*

me: *puts on layered clothes, boots, and a scarf*

someone: it’s like 90 degrees outside–

me: it’s fall

[pularia]

Rooster Loves To Creep Up On His Family When They Least Expect It

For the love of animals. Pass it on.

Every morning, a rooster rises from his perch on the couch, marches up two flights of stairs, hops on the bed and positions his head about 3 inches from the faces of the sleeping humans.

Then he screams at them. 

“He doesn’t cockledoodledoo,” Rara Subramanyan, his owner, tells The Dodo. “There is no doodle in it.”

More like a roar.

[unfollowing]

[flomdrawn]

I did a piece for OMSI to celebrate their new building in Newport! You can go see it in Turbine Hall, support science and art and learn about the ocean!

[flomdrawn]

Prints are now available at my shop! I will also be offering a 10% discount from July 20th to the 27th on all prints in my shop. Just use the code XCAY2YTC to get the discount!

[tibets]

[elasticitymudflap]

the great wall of china was built specifically to keep matt damon out

[enoughtohold]

when we first got married i had to psych myself up every time to say “my wife” to a new person. it was awkward because with “girlfriend” a lot of people would just assume i meant “friend,” and of course “fiancée” is gender-neutral when spoken, so we’d always had plausible deniability. but the meaning of “wife” is pretty unavoidable. still, i made myself do it on principle, and slowly but surely it became natural.

now i love saying “my wife,” to everyone all the time. i love saying it to the old woman distributing the strawberries at the farm share, asking if she knows where i can still get rhubarb because every summer i make my wife a pie. i love saying it to the gay employee helping me at crate and barrel, telling him i’m buying these glasses because my wife and i both had them growing up, and seeing his eyes light up. i love saying it to friends of friends and to new acquaintances and to potential coworkers and to the women at the laundromat. i love being aggressively out, and i love having such an easy way to be aggressively out. i love being the first woman with a wife someone has ever met, making our existence part of their reality. i love being visible for other lgbt people who might feel a little less alone knowing i’m there, which helps me push past the fear when it comes. most of all, i love not hiding. i love saying “my wife” and i love my wife.

[nayan1]

Who needs expensive equipment, when you have good friends

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

for the angles

[thefandomdropout]

LMAO

[babycakesbriauna]

Team work makes dream works

[thexfiles]

interested to see how 2016 will get worse from here

[thexfiles]

well folks let me just say

[kuutamosonaatti]

You lived with bees? That sounds magical.

[falsedetective]

my grandparents have to lock their car doors when they go to sunday mass because people have been breaking in to unlocked cars and leaving entire piles of zucchini

[falsedetective]

i feel like i should’ve added more context when i posted this. my grandparents live in a rural area where farmers and casual gardeners alike are, at this point in the year, suddenly being hit with unexpectedly abundant zucchini crops. there aren’t just some random vandals leaving zucchinis in people’s cars for the hell of it, this is the work of some very exasperated, probably very elderly, folks who have more zucchini than they know what to do with

[thegreenwolf]

Yep. You can also expect to find a bag of zucchini on your porch.

[abwatt]

My grandfather once found his neighbor stealing his tomatoes out of his garden at three in the morning. Red-handed, with a basket of the nearly-ripened ones.  He thought he was going to find gophers or something, but no, here’s Henry, taking his tomatoes. The best ones.

There was a long pause between them.

My grandfather (allegedly) said, “Henry… it’s OK.  You can take some tomatoes if you want them.”

Henry sighed in relief.

“But,” my grandfather said, “you have to take two zucchini for every tomato.”

There was another long silence.  “That’s a harsh bargain, John,” said Henry.  “But I accept.  I’ll tell Joe up the street, too.”

My grandfather said, “Tell Joe he needs to take three.”

[ladypandacat]

a friend of my dad’s came by in the middle of the night, he seemed very nervous when my dad answered the door. he wouldn’t come inside but he leaned in and whispered to my dad in spanish, “i have some fresh grapes for you.” and then this happened:

the melon was a special bonus.

[angeliccelestine-deactivated201]

MY DREAM

[dragoneyes]

A friend of mine lives in a rural area and he has been surrounded by zucchini for most of May, June, and July.

At one point he was so done with the whole zucchini madness that he came to classes actively begging people to “Please please please!! Take some my family’s damned zucchini!! I’ve been eating zucchini for weeks!! I’m going insane!!!”

[kynthaworld]

Having grown up in a rural area and having come home to zucchini on the front step or in the mailbox, i find it highly amusing the OP had to clarify.  I’m sitting here nodding “yup.”

[deathtrapnest]

this should be a fanfiction AU trope 

[augustarambles]

We have a similar problem with tomatoes and summer squash when my parents garden starts producing

Tomatoes on the window sill Tomatoes in the fridge Tomatoes in bags Tomatoes eVERYWHERE

[rigotamos]

when I lived in montana, friends would always try to give me venison that they caught...venison is great but I saw the way they handled it. I'd rather have the zucchini

[flowerypearl-blog]

Steven Universe + the diverse cast of female voice actresses → requested by anonymous

From top to bottom: Susan Egan, Estelle, DeeDee Magno Hall, Michaela Dietz, Charlyne Yi, Erica Luttrell, Jennifer Paz, Kimberly Brooks, Shelby Rabara, Rita Rani Ahuja, Aimee Mann, Nicki Minaj, AJ Michalka, Grace Rolek, Kate Micucci, Mary Elizabeth McGlynn, Reagan Gomez-Preston, Toks Olagundoye