It took a few weeks for the newborn scrunch to wear off before Jackie and Hayden called Shane over to talk, the twins at their grandparents' house, and Arthur sleeping peacefully in the living room bassinet.
She'd started to become suspicious the minute the exhaustion of labor and bringing home a new baby had started to abate. Arthur's thick head of black hair was completely at odds with her brunette and with Hayden's blonde, but matched perfectly with a certain other man.
Another man with whom she and Hayden had celebrated a wild night after winning the Stanley Cup in 2015. Thery were a week out from the 2016 playoffs now and Jackie was not looking forward to losing Hayden for the next three months but she was completely certain they were going all the way to the finals again. The team was on fire, clicking together even better than they did this time last year.
She and Hayden had debated for days whether it was fair to Shane to spring this on him right before the playoffs started, but Jackie maintained that it would be more unfair to keep it a secret.
Here they were, sushi delivered from her and Shane's favorite place, and a couple of ginger ales waiting in the fridge. Hayden paced anxiously back and forth in the living room as the clock ticked closer to 7 PM, and she found herself in a strangely peaceful sort of limbo. As sort of, fuck it, the baby is here, it's all already done, now we just figure it out, that buoyed her enough that Hayden't freak out, hardly touched her.
Or maybe caring for a newborn and twin toddlers has fried her brain so far past normal she wasn't even capable of rational thought anymore, and anything less than a broken limb or a call to poison control didn't even phase her.
Sometimes, Jackie missed who she used to be before children.
There was a knock at the door, and Hayden jumped, "He's here," he whispered. "Oh god, Jackie, he's here."
Despite herself, she snorted. She loved her drama queen husband. "Yeah, your best friend is at the door. Are you going to let him in?"
"Right!" He hustled off, and she reached for another sip of her water, a nervous pit settling in her belly despite herself. Their voices echoed down the hall before they emerged into the room, Hayden high and panicky, Shane low and gentle with just a bit of confusion.
"Hi Shane," she greeted without getting up. He leaned down for a side hug, more than familiar with her reluctance to be on her feet following birth. He'd been there for every milestone the twins had after all, and he'd been the third person to hold Arthur in the hospital. It felt appropriate now, with what they suspected.
"Hey, Jackie," he said and then leaned over the bassinet to peer at her baby. "Hi, Arthur."
She patted the cushion next to her, and he sat. "We're eating on the couch today, hope you don't mind."
Shane shrugged and reached for a plate to load up, "It's your house." He cast a suspicious eye at Hayden, who had notably not sat down and was wringing his hands in the exact opposite of cool, calm, collected man, which was what he'd promised her he'd be when they were setting this up. "He's…good?" Shane asked.
"Eat your food," Jackie said. "Babe, can you get us some soda from the fridge?"
"Yes! I can do that." Hayden said, voice two octaves higher than normal. He coughed, "I mean, yeah, okay."
"So," Shane said. "This seems serious."
Jackie put a bite of sushi in her own mouth and shrugged to buy herself some time.
"Is it the kids?" Shane asked with a glance toward Arthur. "Are they okay?"
Jackie had always been charmed by Shane, and she was never reminded of it more than moments like this. Her husband had such good taste in friends. She half-smiled at him. "No, they're good. The girls are with my mom. Arthur had his one-month checkup yesterday, and the doctor said he was perfect."
"He is perfect," Hayden said as he came back in the room with their drinks. He'd grabbed himself and beer, and she swallowed down her brief jealousy. Breastfeeding suck and the worst part was not being able to drink when she got stressed. She didn't hold it against him, though, not for this conversation. "Way bigger than Ruby and Jade, the doctor said he's in the 90th percentile."
"That's great, Hayd," Shane said. Jackie could tell he meant it. He was such a sweetheart.
Hayden made eye contact with her, and she tilted her head towards the armchair. He took a seat, twisting the cold bottle between his hands but not actually drinking it. "Yeah, um, thanks, buddy."
Shane and Jackie polished off their sushi before Hayden worked up the nerve to speak again. They agreed he'd be the one to break the news to Shane. Did Jackie pull the freshly post-partum excuse to get out of it? Absolutely. Did she feel any guilt? Nope.
Besides, the threesome had been Hayden's idea.
"I got to say, Hayden," Shane said. "You're kind of freaking me out."
"Oh! No, no, no buddy, no need to freak out." Hayden paused. "Well."
The long pause did nothing to calm either man. Jackie sighed, "Babe, just say it like we practiced."
"Don't tell him we practiced!" Hayden protested, pink-cheeked, but she just waved her hand in a wordless get on with it.
"It's okay, whatever it is," Shane said. "I promise not to be upset— or mad? Just spit it out, Hayden."
"Alright, okay," Hayden took a deep breath. "You remember last year when we won the cup and got really drunk?"
Shane immediately flushed red. "I thought we agreed to never mention that again."
"Yeah, yeah, right, of course!" Hayden said. "It's just that… um. You know, Arthur… he doesn't really look like me?" Her husband's voice trailed off into a high squeak while Shane's eyes blew wide."
"What?" Shane asked.
Hayden hurried to add more, his previous reluctance nowhere to be found as he sped down the ice at full-collision, trainwreck speed. "Well, we didn't notice at first but he's got black hair like you and he's just a tiny bit darker skinned than Ruby and Jade were and Jackie noticed first but then I got to thinking and we were really drunk after winning the cup and I know we said we wouldn't mention it again, even though I had a great time really, and wouldn't honeslty mind a repea, I mean you two are my favorite people but ACTUALLY i know we had condoms but I was think we proably just didn't use them right or maybe forget its all a blur really, we were so drunk, but what I'm trying to say — what WE are trying to see is that we think maybe you are actually Arthur's bio-dad?"
In the sudden silence after Hayden's word avalanche, Jackie slipped noisily on her ginger ale. "I did a DNA test and Hayden didn't match," She finally said to Shane's wide-eyed panic. "You are the only other person I"ve been with."
Shane abruptly jerked his head over to look at the sleeping Arthur in the bassinet. It would have been a miracle he'd manage to sleep through that, but a month old and he was already used to sleeping through the twins' screeching. She tried to imagine looking at the baby through his eyes, all of a sudden realized you'd accidentally created a child, and she wondered if he was falling in love in a second, as she had with all three of her kids.
"Oh," Shane said quietly. "That's um, that's a lot. I'm…sorry?" He apologized like he honest to god didn't know what else to say. She wondered what answer she'd get if she asked what exactly he was apologizing for before deciding that was a meaningless road to go down.
"It's not your fault, Shane," Hayden said. "I mean, nothing has to change if you don't want it to. You're already Uncle Shane. You can just keep being… you. I mean," here her husband bit his lip. "Arthur is my son. Nothing is going to change that. But…" he looked at Jackie and then back to his best friend. "He can be yours, too. You just let us know."
"That's it?" Shane asked incredulously before turning to Jackie. "You don't want… I don't know, like child support?"
"Hayden's name is on the birth certificate, Shane. We don't need anything from you." Jackie said. "We want you in our lives, of course, you're family. But we have our own money, we don't need yours."
"I mean, I'm no Mr. Rolex," Hayden said. "But your dad was actually pretty helpful all those years ago, helping me set up my investments."
"Oh shit," Shane said, face drained of color. "We have to tell my mom."
Jackie and Hayden both paled with him.
"I mean…" Hayden started. "Do we have—"
Jackie cut him off before he stuck his foot in his mouth. "We can if you want to, but I think that really depends on how involved you want to be."
Shane nodded, and she could see the thought racing behind his eyes, planning and putting that analytical intelligence he was famed for to good use. "Yeah, no. I want to be involved. And if my mom found out we kept Arthur from her, she'd bury all three of us in a shallow grave," He shuddered. "Plus, she already loves the girls and Arthur…" Shane hesitated with a glance at the baby again. "I mean… he looks a lot like I did as a baby. She'd probably sniff out the truth pretty fast."
Jackie nodded. Yuna Hollander was one of the smartest and most perceptive people she'd ever met. Not to mention one of the most intimidating, and Jackie was regularly in the company of towering, thick-set hockey men. "Okay, then we tell her. Is she coming up for the next game?"
"Yeah."
"Okay," Hayden said. "So we can figure out what it will look like going forward, but, and this is the most important thing… the girls call me daddy. So dibs. Maybe you can be papa?"
Jackie laughed at the grimace Shane pulled. "…Yeah, that's gross, Hayden. Let's just table that for now, okay?"
"What's dad in Japanese?" she asked.
Shane blinked at her. "I don't know, Jackie, I'm Canadian." He paused. "We can ask my mom."
Despite the situation, Jackie felt her shoulders lowering. The truth was out, and it all looked like it would be okay. Nobody was screaming or crying, and their friendship could probably withstand this. And what was one more parent really? They always said it took a village.
they don't have a problem with showering together at the locker room actually because they don't need to hide or rush or use it as an excuse for sex. shower sex was never really about the shower it was just so shane could moan as loud as he wanted in hotels without people in the other room hearing. now they actually use the shower to debrief and gossip and just talk about the game they played and strategies. the problem actually is both of them losing track of time because they’ll just stand there sharing the shower and chatting like they’re at home and then shower together again at home and talk about all the things they couldn’t in the locker room. it doesn’t mean they don’t have sex shower anymore, it’s just they can have sex in more comfortable places and showering together is now bonding time
i actually think that what's being missed in the 'why does everyone love heated rivalry' conversation is just that it's good
it's well made, well shot, well directed, the music is interesting, the costumes are both thoughtful and subtly period accurate, the sex scenes are intentional and, again, accurate to what hooking up when you're like 18 actually feels like...the actors are of course attractive but they look like real people. the characters are varied and well fleshed out, the acting is really, really strong
so many shows and films shoot and then slot in whatever music kind of fits or could be licenced in the budget after time, but you can tell that the scenes in hr were shot with that specific music in mind. and the same intentional approach runs through the whole thing
it feels...so nice to watch a show that cares about itself
Nobody knew in advance that this show would become a massive international phenomenon. It was a mid-budget Canadian show (which means low budget by US standards) adapted from a Harlequin romance novel. The deal with HBO for US distribution rights was only signed a few weeks before it began to air.
But everybody involved treated it as if it was serious art anyway. Not just some little Canadian streaming show that might well disappear after airing. Based on a book from a genre that is usually ridiculed by people who consider themselves serious film people. The cast, the crew, the writer/director, the music supervisor, everybody. They all did their best work for love of the game.
I really think we as a fandom are overlooking “canonically has a lesbian sister” “proud ally” “wife guy to a doctor” “managed to befriend clinically anxious Ryan Price” Wyatt Hayes as a character and a potential close friend for Shane.
David Hollander has a tiktok channel that is just him showing off his favorite puzzles that he's done with his sons. It does numbers, and tiktok doesn't even know that his sons are Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov.
17 yo autistic "he may not be the most sociable" Shane Hollander going out of his way to introduce himself to his predestined rival Ilya Rozanov and immediately complementing him "you're an awesome player to watch" as in he's watched him play and he enjoyed it and he might be the only player on his level.
18 yo hates his accent "gets under other players' skin" "you listen. Don't speak" Ilya Rozanov asking his no1 rival Shane Hollander if the draft day is everything he's dreamed of and if Montreal is nice but also if Boston is nice too as in he's worried about where he's going and the only person to ask is the one who will climb to the top side by side with him.
Ilya wants to do one of these "celebraties I don't think my husband can name" videos where he shows different singers to Shane because he thinks it's just too adorable how Shane has no clue about the music industry at all, only for the video to go like this:
- Oh that's Gaga. You know Lady Gaga? Of course, Ilya! She was in A star is born. Really good actress. She is more of a singer actually... Oh yeah that makes sense, I guess. You guess?! Please tell me you know Poker Face, lyubimyy. I know for a fact you have been to a club, you must have heard Poker Face before. I don't know, maybe. [Ilya starts singing Poker Face]. You're lucky you play better hockey than you sing, baby. Oi!!
- Oh I know how him! That's Armando! That's Pitbull. I'm pretty sure that's a human? Are you fucking with me Shanya. Of course baby. I know that he is a rapper but it feels so weird to call him Pitbull, when we met in Miami he said he was Armando. You met in Miami?? Yeah well, was a few years ago, he invited our team to this house- Pitbull invited the Montreal boring fucking Metros to his fucking house???
- Kesha! Do you know her songs? Absolutely none, no. How the fuck- Why am I even suprised you know her too. Oh we met at Roses birthday party in LA. She is so funny, I think you would like her! Maybe I should introduce you. What the fuck- You know what, I call her. Shane!
- Oh that's Kayleigh right? Kayleigh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her. That's Chappell Roan. Dykstra is playing her non-stop in the lockerroom. Oh, really? Pink Pony Club? Good Luck, Babe? Casual? Sounds familiar yes. [Ilya starts singing Casual] [Shane blushes] I think... I think I remember now yeah. Didn't know that was Kayleigh. How do you know all these people but have no clue what they do? Oh funny story, she is a good friend of Rose actually-
- Oh, that's Sam! Sam Smith. I've been to a concert. Met backstage. Really cool person. Shanya, you're surprising me? You go to concerts? Well uhm. When... when I was with Rose she got us tickets and - Yeah okey.
- Montero! Or Lil Nas X. Shall I guess: Another friend of Rose? Maybe, I should ask her. Actually we did this campaign together and- I hate you.
- Oh thats the actress from the movie. The movie with all the actresses. Oceans Eight. That's Rihanna. Yeah! Rihanna. I really liked her there, she should do more movies. Shane, she is actually a singer. Oh, that's cool. You're killing me. What? Should I know her? Shane. Lyubimyy. We literally had our first dance to her song.
- That's Benito! Nice guy. You know Bad Bunny? Who is a bad bunny? That is Bad Bunny. Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio. Okay yeah? He is literally the biggest singer in the world. Is he now? Yes! Oh, wow he didn't mention. Wait, you met Bad Bunny? Yeah, well we were at some galas together, but to be fair he said- Galas? Like how many? Dunno, like four, five times and- Ilya is your nose bleeding?
I also think it would be really funny if Shane knew Armando as a real estate connection. Armando reached out to him (because they're both celebrities in real estate, obviously). Shane doesn't typically do networking, but this time he looks into this guy's properties and just thinks, "Oh! This guy actually seems to be really successful at this. I should definitely accept his invite and learn from him and maybe meet some other people with good advice. It would be silly not to." Armando at some point drops the most casual "You do hockey, right? How is that?" that Shane has ever heard from someone who seems to know who he his. Armando never brings up performing because everybody obviously knows who he is (obviously), and Shane never thinks to ask if he does anything else. Armando sends him a text inviting him to dinner or to parties he happens to be throwing when he sees Shane has a game in town, and Shane always accepts. It would be rude not to, and he likes Armando. Shane gets so accustomed to seeing Armando when he's in Miami that the first time he plays there without getting an invite, he texts him to let him know he's in town and ask him if he wants to get dinner. Sorry man, I'm on tour right now. Next time, brother. What does that mean? On tour? Like, on a tour of Europe? Or is this some slang he doesn't know? Doesn't matter, he's busy either way. No problem man, next time. 👍🏽 At least things are still good with his good buddy Armando. Maybe now he'll facetime Ilya tonight, instead.
Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.
His brother does.
His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.
He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.
Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.
He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.
One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.
Ilya declines.
After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.
Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.
Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.
Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.
He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.
He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.
One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.
Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.
Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.
But their phone calls are enough.
About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.
He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.
Fic where Shane gets mind reading powers (and let's pretend it's translated from Russian to English too) where he can hear Ilya's thoughts and it's just a constant stream of:
look cool look cool look cool look cool -- don't freak him out don't freak him out don't -- kiss him but not the way you want kiss him but not the way you want -- god he's so perfect he's so perfect fuck my life -- pretend to be normal about him-- fuck, he's so perfect
Shane like. idk 2014 post Boston winning the cup, meeting his future self. his future self in an Ottawa Centaurs jersey. with no C on his chest. and 2014 Shane sees that and he thinks I failed. I failed I lost so badly they traded me to the worst team in the league. they found out about Rozanov and they traded me. they stripped me of my captaincy and I will never be anything again and his future self, with his wedding ring to Ilya hanging around his neck and looking happier than he's ever looked, looks at 2014!Shane and goes no. this is what winning looks like, kid. this is what we have always wanted, you just don't know it yet. things will be hard but I'd do it all again because it got me here. and then future Shane thinks for a moment and goes I never thought I'd get to be myself in this league. I also never thought I'd get to play on the same team as my husband. But now both things are true. and 2014!Shane looks stunned, tears in his eyes, and future Shane smiles and starts to walk away and then 2014!Shane calls back to him wait! just tell me one thing and future Shane pauses and 2014!Shane steels himself and goes just tell me. is it Rozanov? and future Shane looks back over his shoulder with the biggest grin ever and goes no. but it is Ilya and then he's gone
shane without the weight of the secrecy and carrying a whole team on his back is playing way better with the centaurs. and it’s insane, if everyone thought he was already the better player in the league, he’s now definitely on a whole new level. and he’s doing well in the second line, luca haas is a generational talent so he can keeping up with shane easily, better than when pike was his winger. and shane of course is always complimenting luca and staying after practice to train extra with him so both of them can become a deadly duo — not better than the hollanov power play of course, shane and ilya are basically one entity when they play together. and you always know when shane is hyping up luca cus baby boy is more red than the red of centaurs uniform. luca is in heaven, he can play with his idols and they think he’s good? oh baby boy is always giddy going to every practice. so yeah every team in the league is fucked
One thing I've been thinking about recently is that the Metros were holding Shane back. The Admirals holding Hunter back makes sense, in an oh shit he's going to kill this kid way. But the Metros holding Shane back? Shane who never fights? Shane who is a known peacemaker? Maybe the argument can be made they wanted to protect him from getting hurt/getting fined but, Shane is their captain, if he wants to fight, a fight there shall be.
Unless.
You consider that the Metros know that Shane absolutely does know how to fight. They've all done checking clinics with Shane. They've all wrestled and roughhoused with Shane. He's strong and he's fast and he wants to win.
The Metros understand that Shane doesn't fight, not because he can't, but because he's a little too good at it. And Shane generally doesn't even like violence. He likes to win by playing the game, not hurting the other team.
So when they see Shane, after the whistle, drop his gloves to Scott Hunter, there is a collective thought of oh shit he's going to kill Hunter and they have approximately 1.5 seconds to grab their captain and prevent him from getting arrested.
shane is literally a Boyfriend guys he’s stocking the cottage full of stuff he’d never eat bc they’re ilya’s favourite snacks and he’s driving his passenger princess around and carrying ilya’s bags and asking what he wants for dinner and waking him up in the middle of the night to be like ‘hey here’s how we can be together forever until we are old and wrinkly. do u agree yes or yes’
and even before that he’s constantly checking if his baby is okay and he’s sitting in that stairwell cuddling ilya’s jacket and he’s so desperate to hold ilya’s hand when he’s off his head on painkillers. he’s rereading old texts. he’s got his phone in his hand and he’s texting ilya when he’s literally just got off the ice after winning the cup again and that’s years before they’re even together. he’s inviting ilya to the cottage because he gets two weeks off a year and he wants to spend them both with his favourite person
he’s a loverboy! he’s spent so so long wanting to be able to connect with ilya like this and now he finally can! he was born to play hockey but also to be ilya’s boyfriend!
Shane Hollander is a jock, Shane Hollander does not wear anything but athletic wear, Shane Hollander does not have a skincare routine.
Shane Hollander routinely uses sunscreen(for safety against skin cancer) and washes his face with a sensitive skin friendly soap in the shower. He uses the same bar for his entire body.
Beyond that his smooth skin is entirely coincidental. Ilya is very jealous of this. Ilya wears hair products, styles himself meticulously and has tried multiple skincare routines. None of which are giving him the supple skin he desires.
The first time Ilya goes to Shane's real apartment and not the sex condo he is outraged by the number of unused samples of skincare products, mostly because these brands are choosing to work with Shane when he knows for a fact that Shane does nothing to properly take care of his skin.
Shane's bathroom sink is barren.
Shane *enters Ilya's bathroom*: why do you have so much clutter in here
Ilya *outraged*: is not clutter Hollander we did not all climb out of womb and become world's prettiest man by accident
Shane *having no filter*: why do you bother with it if it doesn't work?
This is Luca Haas and no one can convince me otherwise 🙂↕️ Ilya sees this and immediately takes him shopping. “Shopping for what?” “Cool stuff, Shane, you wouldn’t understand. Come on, Haasy.”
Luca staying with Shane and Ilya for a few days while his place is being fumigated. He’s lying in bed when Hollanov’s sex sounds fill his room. Luca sends a video to the team group chat (the one without Shane and Ilya). It’s of him staring blankly into the camera. In the background, you can clearly hear Ilya moaning loudly. Luca is like ‘I can’t listen to Shane suck Ilya’s soul out of his body for the next 2 days. Can I stay with one of you?’ and Troy is like ‘You can come over and listen to me suck Harris’s soul out of his body’ and the other players respond with similar stuff like ‘You’re welcomed to listen to me fuck my wife’ and Luca remembers he’s a hockey player with money and checks into a hotel.
rileetheriddler @rileetheriddler - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag