after three years of being in love with you, itoshi rin realizes he might never have the chance to confess his feelings.
itoshi rin x reader ─ bittersweet/angst, w.c. 500+ ─ content: childhood best friend!au, rin is implied to be younger than reader, reader is one to two years older
note. almost all of my upcoming drafts are angst, free me 😞 i swear i'll get back to writing happier fics when i'm not deep in the trenches of hell and suffering (uni)
nineteen years of being next-door neighbors, three years of being in love with you, and only two days before he has to bid his feelings goodbye.
rin can’t help but feel bitter and resentful at the thought. only two days before you’re uprooting your life, flying across the ocean and to a completely different continent, and leaving him behind. to be stuck, in this old and unchanging town, to live out his repetitive routines. though, this time, he’ll have to do it all without you.
no more rocks being thrown at his window, no more random visits throughout the day, and no more two-in-the-morning snack runs when you’re both supposed to be asleep. in a few days, silence.
something he'd always asked for. but now? he's not so sure.
a part of him wonders, if he asked— perhaps, if he confessed his feelings, and poured out his heart to you right now— would you want to stay? he wonders if his words would be enough to change your mind, and if you would wait until he could do the same. until he could move away with you, to some other country, and figure life out together.
but, these thoughts are nothing short of selfish, and rin’s all too aware. he knows it's best if keeps his lips tightly sealed, choosing to sit in silence with you as you stare at the water in front of you. letting the sound of the waves, crashing into the rocks over and over, drown out the confessions on his tongue.
“honestly, i never thought we’d be separated by the ocean one day,” you break the silence first.
he looks at you, but your eyes remain on the scenery ahead. knees pressed close to your chest, arms tucked behind your knees, fingers clutching tightly onto the fabric of your jacket. watching as the ocean stretches, seemingly endlessly into the horizon. taking it all in, one last time. “it’s going to feel weird not living next to you."
rin's mouth opens as if to speak, but he finds himself lost. unable to think of anything he wants to say. so he looks away, hiding the frown on his lips under his scarf, trying to ignore the heavy sinking feeling in his heart. shifting uncomfortably in his spot as if it would miraculously shake the feeling away.
“i’ll—” miss you, he almost says. but he catches his tongue, biting into it to stop the words from slipping past his lips. “— finally have some peace and quiet around here.”
he hears you laugh softly at that, but it's emptier than usual. “that excited to get rid of me?” you ask, finally tearing your eyes away from the waves to look at him.
it’s hard to ignore your gaze on the side of his face. he tries to look anywhere but you, at the waves, and the sand and shells beneath his feet. but his eyes betray him, like they always do— and you lock eyes.
"i'll be able to sleep without worrying about being woken up at two a.m.," rin indirectly answers, swallowing the lump in his throat, and coming to terms with his cowardice. ignoring the way his heart thumps rapidly against his ribs, as if begging for him to listen. to say, ‘please stay.’
you smile at him, at his typical and expected answer. you're smiling, and he wonders if he's imagining the look in your eyes and how they mirror his.
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