Jul 13
Made this two months ago and never posted it
Rin, Kaiser, Isagi
X reader
Angsty?
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Russia
seen from Denmark
seen from Singapore
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Sweden
seen from Peru
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Japan
seen from Italy
seen from Russia
seen from United States
Made this two months ago and never posted it
Rin, Kaiser, Isagi
X reader
Angsty?
Old friend
FemBunny x AfabReader
subtle suggestion, language, cheating, mentions of suicide (it’s bunny are we even surprised 😞) and whatever else warning I’m forgetting.
Writing below-
Part 1
Part 2
Texting her distracted you for a moment, it’s been so long.
You forgot about her pessimistic personality, and upon texting her every concerning joke or statement came back into your mind.
And you remembered her far look, her scars— and your memories together.
You missed it, although she always had you on edge, if she were to kill herself, no one would be surprised.
A few tears at the funeral and someone saying something along the lines of. “We knew this day was coming.”
It scares you.
Maybe you should force her to see a psychiatrist, and they’ll prescribe her something. But the more you though about it the stupider the thought.
She’s already numb enough, she’ll just become a zombie at that point.
Pack your things, and pray you don’t walk in on her 5 feet in the air 3 weeks in.
Fuck you
FemSae x AfabReader
FemBunny x AfabReader
Cheating, language, mentions of sex (if I continue this, it’s going to be a reoccurring topic) angst?
Part 1
Part 2
𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 . Cause your holding onto someone who’s special…Itoshi Rin
| Sypnosis: During your final year of junior high, you finally grow close to Itoshi Rin. Between late-night phone calls and quiet moments, your feelings deepen—but loving someone doesn’t always mean they’ll love you back.
| Notes : All characters are minors, No implied gender, half assed proofread—we ball. And I liked this better than the first one.
────୨ৎ────
| The biggest situation-ship ever |
Pt. I Pt. II Pt. III
────୨ৎ────
Enjoy Reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)!!
II. Cause he is not, with anyone special.
────
It was the second term of your final year of junior high. A month had passed since that first late-night conversation with Rin.
Without the either of you mentioning it, texting each other every night had become routine.
Every evening, sometime after homework and dinner, your phone would light up with his name. Sometimes he texted first. Sometimes you did. The conversations weren’t always long, and they weren’t always meaningful, but they always happened.
You finally got want you wanted, to know him better. And that made you smile every time you see his name pop up on the notifications tab.
It was something that the two of you started to rely on, texting each other and asking “how was your day?”
────
You rested your chin on your palm as you stared through the classroom window.
“It must be cold outside…”
The seasons had begun to change. The bright green leaves that covered the trees with colors were slowly fading into shades of amber and brown. Finally, Autumn had arrived.
Another year was preparing to end.
Inside, however, your classroom remained exactly the same there were students who were laughing and crying at the same time while their friends said an inside joke about one another.
Multiple paper airplanes sailed across the room coming from the group at the back . Someone yelled over asking for people if they wanted to play a card game with them.
A group of four girls were chatting about where should they hangout next . And then a boy was leaning too far back in his chair before crashing onto the floor with a loud bang.
Making a section of students laugh at him while some were unamused.
You couldn’t help laughing. “That was really stupid.”
The room continued buzzing around you, but your attention had already wandered elsewhere, again.
To Rin.
Rin sat beside the window, earphones in as usual, and the same flat expression. Over the past month, the version of Rin you knew had become completely different from the boy sitting across the classroom and the person you would always try to pin on and bother him with trying to get to know him.
It was different now after many days had passed and it made you happy you were close, hopefully it was mutual.
At night, he listened whenever your thoughts became too heavy. He would stay on the phone until you finally calmed down enough to sleep.
Some nights, he barely spoke but you’d hear his quiet breathing through the speaker was enough and his presence seemed to lull you to sleep.
He’d do the same too went he wanted someone to know his thoughts about football, whenever it became too much, he vented to you too.
He complained.
Whenever he got angry.
He would talk to you about his older brother and the situation and how different things had been.
The two of you had become closer than you ever imagined.
You used to pray for times like this and you hit the jackpot with finally being able to know him.
Every night, when your phone lit up with his name. You’d talk Conversations that began with simple questions somehow stretched for hours. You listened whenever he needed to vent, and he stayed on the line whenever you felt your world was going to swallow you whole.
Little by little, the two of you became each other’s quiet place—the one person you could always return to.
But that only happened at night time.
When the sun came up…
You were strangers.
It hurts.
Neither of you had ever talked about it. There was never an explanation or a promise—that you were friends in public. It simply just became an unspoken rule, and had to accept.
No conversations in the classroom.
No sitting together during lunch.
No waiting for each other after school.
No walking side by side through the hallways.
You’d only stare at each-other and move on.
The version of Rin who stayed awake talking to you until three in the morning disappeared the moment he stepped through the school gates.
Whenever you gathered the courage to approach him, he always responded the same way.
“Go away.”
“Don’t sit here.”
“Why bother?”
His voice was as cold as ever, and his expression was flat and unreadable.
To everyone else, it looked like he barely knew your name.
it hurts you every single time.
The late-night phone calls made you feel like you mattered to him, but the moment morning arrived, it seemed like nothing happened.
───
“It is what it is.” You told yourself that every-time you felt an ache in your heart.
After all, he knew you now. He answered your messages. He listened to you when no one else did.
That should have been enough.
“…Right…?”
Asking for more would be even more selfish and greedy of you.
You just wanted someone—someone who was special.
Longing for something simple like a smile , a greeting. One glance that said, I know you.
Hopefully it will happen.
⸻
“Rin finally stopped ignoring me at school today.”
⸻
One afternoon, Ema had her arm hooked tightly around yours while Mahiro walked beside the two of you, talking so loudly half the hallway could probably hear him. Earning glances from people.
“Hurry up!” Kouki called from the front. “The convenience store’s gonna sell out if you three keep walking so slow!”
Kouki was right, Students flowed around you in every direction, creating a sea of navy colored uniforms.
Then—You spotted him.
Rin was walking toward you from the opposite end of the hallway.
Almost without thinking, you raised your hand in a tiny wave. In the past, he would’ve walked straight past you as though you weren’t even there.
This time…
His eyes met yours.
He didn’t smile.
But just before passing you, he gave the smallest nod. Then he just kept on walking.
Seeing what happened confused both Ema and Mahiro—glancing at each other if they actually saw cold lashes boy look at you.
And for the rest of the afternoon, you couldn’t stop smiling. You smiled so hard that it made your cheeks hurt.
⸻
11:16 PM
|You looked at me today
|Itoshi Rin: It wasn’t a big deal.
| It was for me. :)
|Itoshi Rin: I guess, wanna call?
⸻
The next day arrived and it was lunch time, it was the same atmosphere in the classroom. People were outside eating at the tables, some were coming in and out of the classroom doors talking to their friends.
You slumped over your desk, exhaustion settling heavily over your body.
While your stomach growled, but there wasn’t any food in front of you.
Ema had scolded you countless times.
Mahiro constantly reminded you to pack lunch.
Even Kouki had started buying extra bread “just in case.”
You’d brush it off saying you weren’t hungry or it was a hassle to eat. Making them look at you and still being supportive enough, telling you eating will make you feel better and lessen your migranes.
Still Most days you only drank water or milk.
Today, even that wasn’t going well.
“…They’re out of strawberry milk….”
You sighed heavily, in disappointment.
A second later— a gentle sound of a
Thud.
A cold pink carton landed on your desk.
You blinked twice until you looked up on who was infront of you
“I bought too many,” rin muttered flatly.
“and they’re annoying to carry—plus you told me you liked strawberry milk.”
He looked away.
“So take it—or it would be a waste of my money.”
You nodded and before you could even thank him, he had already turned around, returning to his seat beside the window as if nothing had happened.
You stared down at the pink carton in your hands. A blush spread through your cheeks .
“Ohhh?” Mahiro suddenly leaned over your desk with the biggest grin imaginable. “ What do we have here?”
Ema appeared right behind him, trying—and failing—not to smirk at the event that just happened in front of their eyes.
“I thought Long Lashes didn’t talk to anybody.”
Mahiro nudged your shoulder and wiggled his eyebrows
“But apparently he’s making strawberry milk deliveries now.”
Your face immediately burned bright red.
“He just bought too many!”
“Sure he did.”
Smack!
Kouki dropped into the seat beside you before giving your back an enthusiastic slap.
“I did not know long lashes had game.”
“—I actually bought you one too.”
He proudly held up another strawberry milk.
“But Long Lashes beat me to it.”
Mahiro burst into laughter.
“You’ve got competition.”
“I do not , I’m still , someone in … , heart” kouki argued back dramatically. You tried hiding the carton under your arms while all three of them continued teasing you.
Eventually the laughter faded.
You looked down at the drink again.
…It was strange…
Rin’s sudden shifts felt jarring. Buying you strawberry milk and acknowledging you after school contradicted his usual demeanor.
You started to understand what was happening.
⸻
9:56 PM
|Are you still studying?
Itoshi Rin: Just finished.
|Don’t stay up too late!!
|Itoshi Rin: You're one to talk.
|Itoshi Rin: Go to sleep.
|Okay, goodnight Rinny!!
|Itoshi Rin: Don’t call me that and Goodnight Night.
The screen went dark, but the glow from your phone lingered in the pitch-black room. You stared at the final message, and smiled—replaying the single syllable over in your mind.
⸻
The next morning, the air breeze carried a gush of chill. You pulled your uniform blazer tighter beneath the puffer jacket you hated wearing. It always felt too bulky, and suffocating
Still, your mother insisted, so you wore it anyway to not get sick. Today, you hesitantly took your lunchbox and waved your mom goodbye. It surprised her, when you took the lunch box that she placed on the table.
You’ve been trying to make an effort to talk to your parents even if you have to endure the awkwardness and it’s been doing decent . as you hurried through the school gates.
The school campus buzzed with its usual energetic atmosphere. Students were streamed through out the walkways in their own groups, their laughter echoing throughout the hallway corridors.
Stepping into the classroom, your pace instinctively slowed. Your eyes drifted toward the back row.
Rin was already there.
He sat with a slight slump in his chair, gazing out the window at the bare branches swaying gently outside. The pale morning sunlight spilled across his desk, casting shadows along the profile of his face.
As you approached, he caught your reflection in the window.
This time…
He didn’t immediately look away.
You stopped beside his desk.
“Morning,” you greeted, offering him a small smile.
He glanced up before quietly replying,
“Morning.”
His voice was still rough with sleep as he turned back toward the window.
“Did you sleep at all?” you asked, tilting your head to catch his gaze. “You texted me last night, but I fell asleep before I could answer. Sorry!”
Rin finally looked at you properly. “It’s okay,” he muttered. “Oh?” you teased with a grin. “I was worried that you probably, missed me?”
“…Don’t start…”
You couldn’t help laughing. Even though he tried to look annoyed, he never reached for his earphones or dismissed you the way he once would have.
To everyone else, Itoshi Rin was isolated and the only time you’d see him talk was in English class or having to participate on the football team.
“He could be well liked by people if he didn’t have that blunt and unfriendly attitude of his.”
That’s was one of your first insights about him in the beginning of Junior high.
People would talk.
Girls whispered about him in the hallways but whenever they try to get to know him it soured their feelings.
Boys admired him from a distance , some absolutely hated him out of annoyance by his attitude.
Teachers rarely bothered trying to understand him
But no one would ever guess that this was the same boy spent hours talking to you over the phone after midnight.
The morning bell rang, abruptly shattering the quiet moment between you.
Students hurried back to their seats as the homeroom teacher entered with a stack of handouts tucked beneath one arm.
You reluctantly returned to your desk.
Throughout the announcements, you caught yourself feeling someone’s eyes on you.
Each time you casually glanced over your shoulder, Rin would immediately lower his gaze to whatever textbook happened to be open on his desk, pretending to read.
You smiled to yourself. Looks like you weren’t the only one who kept looking anymore.
By lunchtime, the classroom had erupted into its usual chaos. Desks were pushed together, lunchboxes opened, and conversations overlapped until the room buzzed with noise.
You had just unwrapped your lunch when a familiar shadow fell across your desk.
You thought it was Mahiro, Ema or Kouki but you looked back seeing them and they were behind you just giving you a thumbs up, which left you dumbfounded until you looked up
And saw found Rin standing infront of you, his hands buried deep in his pockets.
“Hey, …, are you going to eat?” he asked.
You blinked.
“I was planning to.”
Usually, he disappeared somewhere quiet during lunch—where no one would bother him.
“Do you want to go together?”
He hesitated.
“Sure...just don’t walk besides me.”
A grin spread across your face.
“Okay.”
Without another word, he turned and headed toward the door.
You quietly packed your lunch before following several steps behind him. And looked at your friends who were cheering you on and Mahiro making a dumbass look on his face making you give him a death glare while Kouki laughed patting his back.
⸻
Five steps behind.
You trailed him by staying, five steps behind, It was enough to make it look like you weren’t together. Rin would slow his distance for you to be able to catch up.
By the time you reached the outside , a cool breeze rushed past as you pushed open the heavy metal door.
Rin sat down the bench and rested his forearms against the back rest .
You joined him, setting your lunch beside you.
After a few quiet bites, you picked up a piece of the omelette your mom prepared “ its good that your finally eating.” He said and you nodded and then held your chopsticks and held it toward him.
“What are you doing?”
“Sharing!” You gleefully said.
“I brought my own lunch.”
“I know that, but taste it, tell me how my mom cooked it.”
You nudged the chopsticks closer.
Rin stared at you with obvious skepticism. Then, after several long seconds…He leaned forward.
He took the bite directly from your chopsticks.
While his fingertips brushed lightly against your hand.
The contact only lasted less than a second.
But a warmth spread across your face till the tips of your ears.
Rin chewed silently before crossing his arms.
“It’s mediocre.” You laughed at his response.
Then You reached into your bag and placed a familiar pink carton beside him. Rin glanced down before looking back at you.
“You’re obsessed with strawberry milk.”
“I’m loyal and it just tastes so good.” You countered while smiling.
He let out the faintest huff of amusement before reaching over and picking up the carton anyway.
Neither of you mentioned the small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
⸻
A few nights earlier, just before midnight, your room had been completely silent.
The lights from the street filtered faintly through your curtains, and the lights were already turned of you were laying down beneath your blankets, lazily scrolling through your phone.
You weren’t expecting anyone to call.
Especially not at that hour.
So when your phone suddenly vibrated against your bedside table, the sound startled you.
You reached over, expecting to see a random notification.
Instead, the screen illuminated with a name you knew by heart.
Rin
For a few seconds, you simply stared.
It wasn’t unusual for Rin to contact you anymore.
Your fingers moved before you could overthink it, sliding across the screen.
You lifted the phone to your ear.
“Hi, Rinnie!”
You smiled softly, expecting the usual response.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Hahaha, okay okay”
But nothing came.
“…”
The silence on the other end stretched.
You thought that maybe the call had disconnected.
Then you heard it.
A breath—an uneven—shaky breath .
Your smile slowly faded.
“Rin…?”
He didn’t answer.
Only another trembling inhale and again.
You sat up slowly, your expression changing as worry settled in your chest.
“Rin are you okay?”
The same boy who once told you with complete confidence and muttered, “I don’t cry.”
Was now crying infront of you.
The person on the other side of the phone sounded nothing like the Rin everyone else knew.
A quiet sound escaped him trying to swallow back everything he was feeling.
But he couldn’t.
You understood.
For a moment, you couldn’t say anything.
You remembered the first time he had told you he hated showing weakness.
You remembered the way he had looked away, almost annoyed at the idea of crying.
You tightened your grip around your phone, pressing it closer to your ear as if distance itself could disappear.
“…Rin…”
Your voice came out quieter than you intended.
“I’m here.”
The only response was another shaky breath.
“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Your fingers curled slightly around the blanket.
“I’ll just listen.”
An hour, had passed and you stayed on the line talking to him.
⸻
Looking across the classroom now, nobody would ever believe it. Not a single person knew. To everyone else, Itoshi Rin was exactly who he had always appeared to be.
If someone walked up to your classmates and told them Rin had cried over the phone only a few nights ago, they would probably laugh.
And assume it was a joke.
Your eyes naturally drifted toward him, the way they always did. Ever since the entrance ceremony in your first year of junior high, out of hundreds of unfamiliar faces, your attention had landed on a boy who was standing slightly apart from everyone else.
You couldn’t quite explain it then.
Back then, he was only a stranger you couldn't stop wondering about.
Now, he had seen and know about you.
The two of you were more alike than either of you ever admitted. You had cried in front of him; he had cried in front of you.
“Maybe thats the most vulnerable and intimate thing a person can do.” You thought to yourself
⸻
“Hey rin…I’m so happy that I’ve finally met you, I’ll always be there for you.”
⸻
The station platform was unusually quiet that afternoon. A chilly wind swept through the tracks, carrying scattered leaves across the concrete where only a handful of students lingered beneath the overhead lights.
Your train wasn’t due for another twelve minutes.
Rin leaned against one of the support pillars, his school bag resting at his feet, while you sat on a nearby bench, absentmindedly kicking your shoes against the ground.
“ so was practice rough?” you asked, noticing the fresh scrape across his knuckles.
“…Mm…”
“You guys won, though!”
“Yeah.”
“You still look tired, rinny.”
“I’m fine.”
“Your such a liar”
The silence settled between you again—Then, Rin reached into his school bag. Without a word, he pulled out one earbud and held it toward you.
You blinked looking at him.
“For the train.”
“…Really..!” You looked at him smiling “are you sure?”
“Just, take it before I change my mind.”
Laughing softly, you accepted it. The wire stretched between you as you slid over on the bench to sit beside him.
And the quiet melody filled your ear.
Neither of you spoke. Just sat beside each other —because there wasn’t any reason to talk.
While the Trains rumbled past on the opposite tracks, announcements echoed overhead, and leaves danced across the concrete.
Every now and then, your shoulders bumped together whenever one of you shifted. Neither of you apologized.
A sudden gust of cold wind swept through the platform, causing you to instinctively rub your hands together.
“ … ,are you freezing?” Rin questioned .
“I’m okay.”
“No, you're not.”
Rin sighed, quietly unwrapping the navy scarf from around his neck. Before you could even protest, he dropped it over your shoulders.
“You’ll get sick.”
“But what about you?”
“I’ll be okay,” his voice remained completely flat.
You pulled the warm thick fabric closer around yourself. It still held the faint heat of his skin, smelling gently of clean laundry and winter air. Your chest tightened with a sweet, sudden ache.
“Thank you, Rin.”
“ Just Give it back tomorrow.”
“I will,” you promised, adjusting the wool. “Should I wash it first?”
His head turned toward you instantly. “Don’t.”
“Huh?”
“Dont because…”Rin bit his lip, but the words had already escaped. “—It’ll stop smelling like me.”
Silence fell over the bench. The realization hit both of you at exactly the same time, and Rin’s ears turned a vivid, bright red.
“…Forget I said that.”
You stared at him, stunned, before a bright laugh burst from your lips. “I can’t believe you just admitted that!”
“I didn't.”
“You absolutely did!”
“Shut up,” he muttered, pulling his collar up, though it did nothing to hide the blush creeping up his neck.
That night, your notebook gained another page.
We shared earphones while waiting for the train today.
Rin let me borrow his scarf. He accidentally said he didn’t want me to wash it because it’d stop smelling like him. Lol, I’m going to keep teasing him.
I‘ think these ordinary afternoons are becoming my favorite part of the day. It’m happy i finally get to be near him. It makes me wonder… will we still wait for trains together after graduation?
⸻
Your phone buzzed.
11:58 PM
Itoshi Rin: Did you get home safely?
You smiled immediately.
|Yeah ( ◠‿◠ )!!
|Thanks again for the scarf!
|Itoshi Rin: Don’t forget it tomorrow.
|I won’t.
|Goodnight, Rin.
A full minute passed.
Then—
|Itoshi Rin: Goodnight, sleep well.
Months ago… You were desperately hoping he’d simply acknowledge you in the hallway.
Now—that wish came true.
───
“ I’m so happy Rin.”
───
Winter had finally arrived in full force.
You pulled your scarf tighter around your neck as you hurried through the school gates, teeth chattering. "So cold, so cold..."
"Bye, Mom!" you called out, waving back at her. You had been doing so much better this past year. Everyone close to you had noticed the change, and they were all incredibly proud that you finally felt genuinely okay again.
Sliding the classroom door open, your eyes immediately searched the back row.
By lunchtime, you were sitting with Ema, Mahiro, and Kouki. But right as you were setting up your meal, a carton of strawberry milk mysteriously appeared beside your lunchbox. Mahiro watched Rin’s retreating back as he walked away, then turned his gaze back to you.
"He’s not exactly subtle anymore, you know," Mahiro pointed out.
You blinked, pausing. "What do you mean?"
"He buys you food," Kouki listed off, counting on his fingers. "He waits for you after school. He texts you every single night."
"He literally gave you his scarf last week," Ema added, nodding thoughtfully. "And the two of you spend almost all your free time together."
Your face warmed immediately, the heat rushing to your cheeks. "We’re just friends."
Mahiro exchanged a knowing look with Kouki, and they both answered in perfect unison: "Sure... yeah."
After school, you ran incredibly late. The teacher had held you back to run a few last-minute errands and gave you a gentle scolding for a missing assignment you had completely forgotten about.
By the time you finally hurried onto the station platform, you expected it to be empty.
Instead, Rin was already there, sitting quietly on the bench.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, breathless. "Did you miss your train?"
Rin looked up at you, his expression unreadable. "…Yeah…"
You let out a breath and sat down beside him, simply watching another train rumble past and disappear into the distance.
Eventually, a soft laugh escaped your lips.
"What?" Rin murmured.
"…Nothing," you replied, looking toward the tracks. "I was just thinking..."
"…We’re really quiet…”
"…Mhm..."
"And … it’s never awkward, I like it! Don't you like it too?”
For a long moment, Rin said nothing. He just stared ahead as the wind rustled his hair. Then, softly, he spoke. "Yeah…I do.”
Those two words settled somewhere incredibly deep inside your chest.
The next train arrived, but it wasn't yours. Neither of you stood up.
The train after that arrived, too. Still, neither of you moved.
"Hey…Rin?" you called out softly.
"Didn’t your train leave a while ago?"
"Yeah."
You paused, looking at him. "Why didn’t you get on it?"
He kept his eyes locked straight ahead, his hands buried deep in his jacket pockets. "…Didn’t feel like it."
"You stared at him. "…So you skipped your train?"
"Mm."
"Just to sit here?"
Rin gave a tiny, nonchalant shrug. "I guess."
Your heart skipped a beat, a massive wave of warmth washing over you despite the winter chill. You smiled so brightly that your cheeks actually began to hurt.
Neither of you noticed the elderly station attendant standing across the platform, watching the two of you and smiling quietly to himself. Young love was entirely obvious to the rest of the world—except, of course, to the two people living right in the middle of it.
That night, your notebook entry was short, sweet, and close to your heart:
“I saw you smile at me today. Thank you for staying beside.”
───
February arrived before either of you realized it. The trees outside the classroom had long since lost their leaves, leaving only bare branches stretching across a crisp winter sky.
Graduation rehearsals had officially begun. Every conversation in class seemed to revolve around entrance exams, new schools, and what everyone planned to do after junior high.
"Stay in touch with me!"
"We have to take pictures before graduation!"
"I can’t believe it’s almost over…"
The classroom buzzed with a bittersweet excitement. When classes finally ended, you found Rin waiting beneath the front gate, his hands buried deep inside his coat pockets.
"You waited for me" you noted, walking up to him.
"You took forever." Rin replied shrugging you off.
"I was helping Ema," you explained with a soft smile. "And my friends and I were talking about summer plans and high school."
He simply nodded and the two of you started walking, the familiar path stretching out ahead was covered with thin white sheets of snow. While snowflakes landed silently on your scarves before melting away into the fabric.
"So..." you started, looking over at him. "You picked your high school?"
"Yeah.”
"The one with that major soccer program?"
He shook his head gently.
You smiled. "I figured”
"What about you?" Rin asked quietly.
"I’m going to the same high school as my friends and I guess we'll be separated after this."
The station looked entirely different beneath the falling snow.
Everything felt quieter, covered by the winter air. Even the train tracks sounded seemed softer.
The two of you settled on your usual bench followed, and without asking, Rin handed you one earbud. You accepted it without a word.
"…"
"Hey…Rin?"
"What?”
"Are we friends?"
He frowned slightly, looking at you. "What kind of question is that?"
"I don’t know," you murmured, looking down at your boots. "I was just thinking... if someone asked what we are... what would you say?"
For the first time in a long while, Rin looked genuinely caught off guard. His mouth opened slightly, then closed again.
"…"
Finally, he shifted his gaze toward the tracks. "…You’re…" He hesitated, his voice dropping to a low murmur.
"you are someone special. And important."
Your breath caught in your throat.
The world felt like it stopped.
"That’s all," his face turned away completely, pretending to watch the distance. "Don’t make a big deal out of it."
You let out a soft breath. "Thank you."
That night, your notebook opened again.
Rin called me important today. He looked so embarrassed afterward. I don’t think he realized what saying something like that would do to me. I’m happy he thinks I’m special, because he is too.
Graduation is only a few weeks away. I’m scared. Not because we’re graduating, but because I don’t know if things like this can stay the same forever.
I’m scared that I won’t see him anymore.
I think… I’ll finally do it.
Your phone buzzed just before midnight.
Itoshi Rin: You awake?
|Yeah.
|Itoshi Rin: …
Several minutes passed. You smiled at the glowing screen.
| What is it?
The typing bubble appeared. Disappeared and appeared again. Then—
Itoshi Rin: Nothing.
You laughed softly to yourself.
| Liar.
Another long pause. Finally, two messages popped up in quick succession.
| Itoshi Rin: I care about you.
| Itoshi Rin: Don’t disappear after graduation.
You stared at the message.
Then your chest tightened until it almost hurt.
Your fingers hovered above the keyboard, countless thoughts rushing through your mind.
I won't. I'll always stay. Because I love you.
Instead, you typed the only words you trusted yourself to send.
|I won’t don’t worry o(｀ω´ )o !
The call came only seconds later. Nearly two hours, you stayed connected, talking about nothing and everything until you two were tired.
Eventually, all that remained was the steady, comforting sound of each other’s breathing.
You listened until sleep pulled heavily at your eyelids. One thought lingered in your mind.
I’m going to tell him. Before junior high ends… I’m going to tell Rin how I feel.
⸻
Graduation arrived beneath a heavy, gray winter sky.
The ceremony itself passed in a complete blur. Teachers gave moving speeches and handed out certificates while proud parents applauded. Classmates cried openly in the hallways, exchanging signatures and promises to stay in touch.
"Don’t forget me!"
"Send me pictures!"
“We finally did it!”
"We’ll meet again!"
Your eyes searched through the crowd for only one person.
Rin.
He stood near the tall windows with his diploma tucked beneath his arm, quietly answering the occasional congratulation before slipping away whenever the conversations became too long. Just like always.
Your notebook rested safely inside your school bag. Only one final page remained. You opened it, the paper trembling slightly beneath your fingers.
“ Today’s graduation. I’m going to tell him. No matter what happens… I don’t want to regret staying silent!
Slowly, you closed the notebook. "…Okay…I can do this! "
The sky had already begun turning a brilliant, fiery orange when you finally found him. He was standing completely alone on the train platform, hands buried deep in his pockets, watching the empty tracks.
"Hi, Rin!” You waved at him.
He glanced over, his eyes softening as you took your place beside him.
Junior high was officially over. There would never be another ordinary walk home after school. A shared classroom. Another convenient excuse. This was your last shot on finally saying everything you wanted to say.
If you didn’t say it right now, you never know what could’ve happened. “Just do it, … !” Your hands began to tremble.
"Rin."
"What is it?”
"I need to tell you something."
He turned fully toward you. For the first time since you had known him, he looked nervous.
"..."
Your heart pounded so loudly it threatened to drown out the distant rumble of the approaching train.
"I..." You laughed shakily, looking down. "This is embarrassing."
"Then don’t, say it.”
"…No," you insisted, taking a slow, grounding breath. "I’ve liked you for a long time. I liked you even before we started talking. And I’m so grateful that you helped me and stayed by my side. I’ve liked you this entire time. Before everything else... I just hope that you won’t forget me, when we go our separate ways. I just wanted you to know.”
Silence fell. The cold wind swept between you on the concrete platform. Rin didn’t move. And his sharp blue eyes remained fixed on yours, unblinking.
"…"
"Please say something," you whispered.
His mouth opened, then closed again. "…I…" Another long silence stretched between you. "I don’t know."
You blinked, a small pang hitting your chest.
"I..." He frowned, looking genuinely frustrated with himself. "…I don’t know if what I feel is… that."
You stared at him, waiting.
"I like talking to you," he spoke into the wind, his voice raw. "I wait for you. I don’t hate walking home with you. I don’t hate when you call." He paused, balling his hands into tight fists inside his pockets. “I trust you…” he whispered "You’re someone who is important. But… I don’t know if that’s… love."
Your chest tightened, a cold weight settling in.
"So… you don’t like me?"
He looked genuinely conflicted, a rare vulnerability breaking through his usual stoic mask. "I don’t know. I've never... I've never thought about it."
He stopped speaking altogether.
You finally understood. A single, hot tear rolled down your cheek before you even realized you were crying. You let out a watery, breathless laugh. "You’re so unfair, Rinny.” you kept on laughing.
"…"
"I spent years—no—months trying to figure you out," you whispered, wiping at your face. "And you haven’t even figured yourself out."
"…"
"I’m sorry, ... ” It was barely a whisper. The very first apology he had ever given you. "I’m sorry."
Your vision blurred entirely. Stepping forward before fear or hesitation could stop you, you wrapped your arms tightly around his torso.
Rin froze completely. Slowly, and awkwardly, he lifted his arms and they settled carefully around your back—uncertain, on what to do, but he held onto you tightly.
The train thundered loudly in the distance, getting closer, but neither of you moved.
"I wish..." you whispered against his shoulder, closing your eyes. "…I wish you could have loved me, too."
"…Me too…”
The words slipped out before Rin even realized he had spoken them. His own eyes widened in realization.
"…I…"
He couldn’t explain it. He couldn’t take it back. He couldn’t understand the sudden ache in his own chest.
You pulled away just enough to look at him, smiling gently through your tears. He looked completely lost—and didn’t know what to say nor do with the emotions that he was feeling and currently experiencing.
"It’ll be okay," you assured him softly. "You don’t have to force yourself. I just… wanted you to know. So Thank you for saying I was someone special to you, Rin!”
The train pulled into the station with a loud, metallic screech, its bright headlights washing over the both of you. You took a step backward,
"Goodbye, Rinny.” You gave him one final smile, waving your hand.
"…"
He watched you step onto the train. The heavy doors began to slide shut. Just before they closed completely, you looked through the glass and smiled one last time.
Rin slowly lifted his hand. A tiny wave. The exact same quiet acknowledgement he had given you in the school hallway all those months ago.
And you waved back. Tears falling down your cheeks that stung. But you still smiled at him, wanting him to remember that you were okay no matter what he said.
The train surged forward, carrying you away into the winter evening. Rin remained still watching you disappear from his fingertips.
And a tear fell from his cheek,
“goodbye, … , thank you.”
| Written by Jammy. Please do not copy and paste or feed my work into an AI. This was completely written by hand, thank you for stopping by and reading!
| Taglist: @thetwinkims @pusheenlover43ver @luvynii
𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 . Cause your holding onto someone who’s special…Itoshi Rin
| Sypnosis: During your final year of junior high, you finally grew close to Itoshi Rin. Having late-night phone calls and moments together, your feelings finally deepened —but loving someone doesn’t always mean they’ll love you back. But even if he can’t return them, you can still become someone special to each other.
| basically the biggest situation-ship ever 💕 |
────୨ৎ────
| Notes: Characters are minors , reader is gender neutral, half-assed proof-read, grammar mistakes—we ball, maybe it’s a bit oc.
────୨ৎ────
|Portrayals of depression and mental health are portrayed in this story. I tried my very best to portray it in writing.
| If you deal with depression, please know there is a way out, and you can get through this. You are not a pathetic or worthless human being— you matter!! You got this and you can always start a new! Even when you don't think it, you can do it, people notice you, love you, care about you, and see how strong you are.
|Please talk to someone you trust and seek help or even professional help. Keep on living. You can do this!
────୨ৎ────
LIST
Pt. I Pt. II Pt. III
Enjoy Reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)!!
I. I See You, and You See Me, Itoshi Rin.
────
“It’s quite bright outside,” you muttered to yourself.
“I feel tired…what’s the day, today?” You mumbled, having no recollection of what was happening in the present.
────
It was break time and students were gushing around during class your brain felt completely zoned out, unable to hold onto a single sentence.
It was just a loud buzzing noise inside your head blocking the constant noise of your classmates, it didn't just bother you—it just made you feel irritable, but you felt too exhausted to express it which frustrated you.
It was springtime. The new term had just started after a short break, following a brutal stretch of cramming and exams. It was also the last year of Junior High before finally reaching High School.
You sat on the left side of the classroom, your head resting lazily against the cool surface of your desk. All around you, the room buzzed with energy.
Classmates who were catching up with their friends, a few guys in the back were throwing paper airplanes at each other, and students drifted in and out of the doorway carrying handfuls of snacks and drinks.
It was a new beginning, with it being Spring season and all.
“I don’t feel like being in school today ,” you groaned, burying your face in your arms.
You sighed, shifting your weight and accidentally bumping your head against the desk—only making the throbbing worse.
The early afternoon sunlight slipped through the windows, stretching across the floor in quiet, golden strips.
You turned your head to the side, letting your gaze wander toward the very corner of your eye.
There he was.
Sitting in the back row, right by the window.
Itoshi Rin.
You quietly breathed his name under your breath, the corners of your lips lifting into a faint smile. Your eyes lingered on him much longer than they should have.
The two of you barely talked. The only conversations you ever shared happened because your teachers insisted on pairing you together for class activities.
Even then, you didn’t really know him.
You tried. You really did. You wanted so badly to get to know him. But no matter what you said, he would only answer with a single, sharp word before returning to whatever occupied his thoughts.
Still… you wanted to know him.
“Hey, Itoshi, did you finish the assignment?”
Ignored and not even spared a single glance , but whenever he did respond he wouldn’t even look at you or hesitate to be rude.
That was always how it went. Sometimes, when you try to greet him, he would actively change direction to avoid you.
Whenever you waved, he would look right at you and then look away. He lived inside his own world.
You wanted him to know who you were—but was that just selfish?
• I want to get to know you.
────
You raised both of your hands, curving your fingers to frame your view, creating a tiny makeshift window.
“Chuu,” you murmured, making a soft clicking sound with your tongue. “This is so boring.”
You looked around the empty space next to you. Your friends had abandoned you after, you kept on saying you didn't want to get up from your seat.
It was also because you didn’t want to become a pain in their ass with how you were feeling today. But couldn’t say that so you sheeplishy begged them to just buy you some snacks, promising to pay them back later.
Gosh, what’s taking them so long? you thought.
“I wonder what he’s doing right now…”
Curiosity got the best of you. And You extended your hands toward his desk, your hair slipping over your face as you adjusted your palms until the only person left inside that little frame was him.
Looking pretty as always, you thought.
For a brief, fleeting second, the noisy classroom seemed to vanish.
Then—he looked up. Your eyes met.
“Pretty.”
“…”
Shit, I got caught.
You blinked rapidly before forcing an awkward, panicked smile onto your face. You gave him a small, stiff wave.
Rin stared at you for only a fraction of a second. Then, he averted his gaze, completely ignoring your gesture.
“…”
Your smile slowly faded.
“…Seriously?” you muttered under your breath.
You let your arms fall back onto the desk with a quiet, defeated thud. With an ache that settled deep inside your chest.
Whenever he did that, it irritated you. No—that wasn’t the right word. It hurt.
Hurt was definitely the better word.
Gosh, who did he think he was?
He wasn’t even particularly good academically or social at all—except for English.
Whenever the lesson switched to English, Rin suddenly became a completely different person.
He would participate without a shred of hesitation, speaking more fluently and frequently than he does compared to any other class.
It was strange. Really strange. Because looking at the big picture, half of his other grades weren’t good at all and he barely participated or talked, unless it was English.
────
There were so many moments like that, where you couldn’t help but take notice of him.
It felt embarrassing, but you had written all of them down in your personal notebook.
Honestly, it was a little humiliating that you even bothered with these kinds of things.
Most of the notebook consisted of pages about homework, sketches or doodles, about your days, school, and friends—but then, there were only a few pages that were dedicated entirely to Rin.
Deep down, you kept hoping that you would eventually see him smile, or laugh, or maybe even open up to you.
You desperately wanted him to finally truly look at you.
Come to think of it, he had never even called you by your name.
He should at least know it by now, right?
You comforted yourself with the thought that, maybe one day, you would finally get to know each other.
It was a pain, you didn’t even know why you have feelings for him . And a hopeful delusion was the only thing keeping you going about liking him—you were really just intrigued by him.
────
“OH MY GOSH, I PASSED! I PASSED!”
You shouted excitedly, gripping your friend’s arms and shaking them as you enthusiastically screamed.
All those late nights of studying and endless hours spent at the cram school had actually paid off for the mid-terms.
Kouki laughed and patted your back , yet your eyes inadvertently drifted back over to the posted grade sheet on the wall. I wonder…
Your gaze scanned down past the top ranks, dropping lower and lower until you reached the 'I' section.
You found Itoshi's name, but he was barely passing, sitting almost at the very bottom of the rank list.
A soft laugh escaped your lips.
Itoshi, Isn’t good in his academics
────
Another memory in those pages was the afternoon you managed to get the cutest picture of him.
“Hey, I’ll be gone for a moment. Just stay right here, okay?” Ema's voice broke your train of thought before she turned and disappeared down the hall.
You stood just outside the classroom doorway, looking inside. The chaotic crowd from earlier was completely gone. It was afternoon cleaning duty, and most of the students had already left for their assigned areas, leaving the building quiet. The only two people left in your room were you and Rin.
It wasn't even Rin’s group turn to clean today, so you assumed he had simply accidentally fallen asleep at his desk.
“Cute,” you whispered to yourself, your heart started to flutter, making you smile.
Taking a slow, hesitant breath, you stepped over the threshold and tried to come closer. Standing right beside his desk, you leaned in a bit.
Up close, he looked incredibly peaceful. The harsh, defensive exterior he usually carried was completely gone.
His eyelashes were delicate, dark, and looked really pretty against his skin.
You glanced nervously toward the empty hallway, your pulse was racing.
Please let no one walk in right now.
Driven by a sudden urge, you quietly pulled out your phone and decided to take one quick picture.
Click.
The screen captured his profile perfectly. “You’re so cute “ you mumbled. But the exact moment you noticed him shift, his shoulders moving as he began to stir, and you absolutely panicked
You quickly tucked your phone away, turned on your heel, and fled into the hallway to hide.
Pressing your back against the outer wall, you peeked cautiously through the classroom window, holding your breath to see if he’d look around for whoever had been there.
But Rin simply stood up, stretching his limbs languidly.
Suddenly, he turned toward the door. You scrambled backward to hide completely, but in your blind panic, you accidentally bumped hard into Ema, who was just returning with a stack of papers.
"Whoa! ,…, Watch out!" Ema said, stumbling back from the impact.
At that exact same moment, Itoshi exited the classroom. His sharp gaze flicked toward the two of you, immediately noticing the commotion.
Frozen in place, you didn't even dare to look up, a heavy mask of guilt burning across your face.
He didn't say a word; he just offered a brief, unreadable glance and walked past you.
────
Later that afternoon, when the school was entirely empty, you pulled the worn notebook from the very bottom of your bag.
You flipped to look at the short dedicated section for him. “This is weird, he doesn’t even know me…” you mumbled while biting your finger nails from the embarrassment.
You had a desperation to connect with him, so eager to find anything , that you had spent months logging every tiny detail you could observe.
Looking at the bullet points now, there was still barely anything real to say about him:
I locked eyes with a guy today during the first day of school during the ceremony, he was pretty tall and really really pretty. And we are in the same class!!! His name is Itoshi rin, I want to talk to him…I think I like him…i don’t know…?
I’m annoyed by him, he is soooo rude. I keep waving at him and trying to talk but he keeps ignoring me away…Kouki asked me what I’m doing and I simply said “I wanted to be friend him.” Which earned stares because it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t want them…ugh..everything is so annoying!
I found out his height by overhearing the coach during physical education. He is approximately 5’11” (180 cm)—I think he’ll grow even taller.
Itoshi, Isn’t good in his academics, except English—I know this because he barely made the passing line and whenever we have to talk in English he speaks it fluently…it’s so cool..but once we had to do Calligraphy and he absolutely sucked lol.
I felt sad today again and I thought about him. I wonder about what lies behind that exterior of his. Does he ever feel sad too?
Rin is incredibly blunt. Today, he told a guy to leave him alone and called him annoying, making the guy completely fume in anger.
Slowly, you pressed your pen to the paper and added one final note to the bottom of the list:
He has long lashes, and he looks incredibly pretty when he sleeps. He slept so peacefully, that I can’t help but look at him in awe. I finally got a picture of him today. I don’t know why I did that—I’m pretty embarrassed about it, I know what I did was SUPER wrong and a creepy, but I just wanted to at least—maybe—have something to remember him by. Even if I know, deep down, that he won’t ever like me back. But I’d still want to get to know him.
────
“... we’re back!” a voice shouted.
Mahiro waved at you, dangling a plastic bag and pulling you out of your thoughts.
“You’re zoning out again aren’t you?” He teased.
Another person handed you a cold water bottle for your headache. “ You should stop staying up so late,” Ema said softly, her voice laced with genuine concern. “ … , If you ever want to talk, talk to me regardless.”
That sentence weirded you out. You quickly laughed it off, waving your hand dismissively.
“Thanks, but there's nothing wrong with me!”
You forced a bright smile.
“She’s right, you know,” Kouki added softly, their usual playful tone turning genuine. “If you ever feel down, just talk to us—you know we’re always here for you!” then nudged a strawberry juice across your desk, a bright grin returning to their face. “And that’s for you!”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” you replied, offering a faint smile to brush their comments off.
You didn't want them worrying about you.
Pushing the conversation aside, you subtly moved your head to the side, your eyes automatically drifting toward the back row to check on what Itoshi was doing.
“Looking at those pretty long lashes again, huh...?” Mahiro teased, wiggling his eyebrows while puckering his lips.
“Hey, no!” you shouted out loud, jumping straight out of your seat.
A few people turned to stare at the sudden outburst. Realizing what you’ve done with emberessement you muttered a ‘sorry’— sitting back down quickly, grabbing the cold water bottle and pressing it against your aching forehead.
Mahiro just stood there, laughing his ass off at your reaction. Making you reach up to pinch his earlobe to make him stop, but your eyes still glanced past him.
You tried to steal another look, desperately trying to see if he had noticed the commotion.
If he had looked at you.
────
Hi, Itoshi Rin. I hope you can know how much I like you.
────
The day had already ended and it was late at night. You were lying in bed, scrolling through your texts with Kouki and watching the incredibly stupid videos they kept sending you. It made you giggle softly, tapping out quick reactions to the screen.
“Lights off!” your mom shouted as she passed by your open bedroom door.
“Okay, Mom! Goodnight!” you called back.
You heard her mutter a quiet goodnight in return, her footsteps fading down the hall.
Your relationship with your mom was okay, but the two of you had grown distant as you got older.
It hurt a bit, and she probably felt it too. Most nights, family dinner was eaten in a heavy silence with barely any questions about how anyone's day went and if there was it would just be a hum or a nod and a “it was fine.”
Some days, you would barely eat at all, losing complete track of time and not even thinking about what you were supposed to do next.
When there were days off from school, the exhaustion would fully take over. You would just sleep all day, trapped under the weight of your blankets, unable to find the energy to face the sunlight.
Even waking up felt like a hassle, having to drag your body out, leading you just to cry. But when you looked at the mirror you kept a smile motivating yourself “ listen, … , you are a good person and people love you! , … , we must never give up!” That was the repeated motto you had on a daily.
But you still felt empty.
Your family wasn’t present as much, and your friends were busy with their lives . Besides, if you wanted to tell someone how you felt, it would just feel weird.
You did your best to keep going and try to change, but something always felt missing, no matter what you did.
Things had just changed.
That’s how things go, I guess, you thought.
────
Sighing, you climbed off your bed to flip the switch.
In your house, 'lights off' was supposed to mean 'go to sleep.' But there was no way in hell you were going to sleep this early.
You glanced at the digital clock on your nightstand. 9:30 PM. Yeah, way too early.
Ding.
The screen of your phone lit up, casting a sharp blue glow across your dark room.
Notification: +81-467-XXXX
"Probably a scam mail," you mumbled to yourself.
But right before you could swipe the notification away and block the number, another text popped up from the exact same sender.
+81-467-XXXX
| This is “ … ? ”
You froze. Your brow furrowed in confusion as you sat up straight on your mattress. Who on earth was this? Curiosity taking over, you quickly opened the messaging app and typed back.
| Who is this?
The reply came almost instantly.
| Itoshi.
“HAHAHA!”
“No way am I going to fall for that,” you muttered aloud. A loud laugh burst from your chest, echoing in the quiet room.
There was absolutely no way, that Itoshi would even bother texting you.
Your mind immediately went to Mahiro. He was definitely playing a prank on you, using a new phone number just to mess with your head.
After all, Mahiro had mentioned his parents were going to buy him a new phone to replace his seven-year-old device if he passed midterms—and he did.
|Nice one, Mahiro.
Read.
The little text indicator changed to 'Seen' immediately, but no bubbles appeared for a moment.
Then, the screen updated.
|It’s me, Itoshi, not Mahiro. I don’t have time for this.
|The teacher told me to ask you to show me a reference of your work. He said your lines for your Japanese literature assignment were good.
Your heart stopped.
|Oh sorry, yeah, I’ll give it to you.
|How’d you get my number by the way ???
|Class group chat.
|Oh yeah! Right!
Left on seen.
|Goodnight, Itoshi!
Seen.
────
The next morning, the classroom was already half-full when you arrived. Your friends were waiting for you, and the moment you stepped inside, your eyes locked onto Mahiro.
Your hands practically moved on their own.
Smack!
"Ow! What the hell?!" Mahiro yelped, stumbling forward as you aggressively shoved them from behind.
"That’s for yesterday when you kicked my butt!" you hissed, coming in for another playful smack to their shoulder.
You kept swatting at their forearm, venting all of your annoyance onto him.
But your eyes quickly drifted. You looked at Itoshi for a while, a sudden wave of fear washing over you at the thought of actually handing him your literature paper.
You gulped, entirely missing the way Mahiro side-eyed you.
"Looking at Long Lashes again, huh, ... ?" Mahiro teased quietly, dropping a hand onto your shoulder.
"Shut up," you whispered, slapping his hand away.
You did not want anyone—and especially, absolutely under no circumstances, did you want Itoshi—to know that you like him. Like, really, really liked him.
If he ever discovered the truth, you felt the your world would get worse and the embarrassment would swallow you completely whole. Knowing his personality, you would be genuinely cooked.
He barely had any friends, and he never EVER talked to anyone—you’ve never seen him do it.
“Seriously, what’s wrong with them these days?” Mahiro muttered, rubbing his arm, while Ema and Loki just patted his back in sympathy.
The whole day went by in a blur. You kept glancing at Rin, but you never knew what to say, your courage failing you every time.
During English class, the teacher suddenly called on you to participate and read aloud. Snapping you out from day dreaming.
When you finally sat back down, you tried to catch a glimpse of him.
You really tried to get the courage to go up to him—you’ve talked to him before and was left completely air-balled, “So why are you so afraid of going up to him?” Maybe it’s because he asked—you just felt scared.
Itoshi, you don’t even know how I feel about you.
────
The night was filled with the light, buzzing hum of cicadas outside your window and the rhythmic click of the oscillating ceiling fan overhead.
You stared down at your phone, completely frozen, having absolutely no clue what to do. A choked scream escaped your throat.
You started pacing back and forth across your room, muttering “Stupid, stupid, stupid,”under your breath while frantically tugging at your hair.
You sank heavily into your desk chair, staring at the screen with a dry throat.
You clicked on the unsaved number
| +81-467-XXXX | and quickly changed it to his full name, saving the contact into your phone: Itoshi Rin.
What were you even supposed to say? Should you just say hi? Should you try to explain? Would a simple 'Hii'work, or should it be 'Hi, hello'?
Your fingers trembled over the keyboard. Then, you shook your head. Fuck it—we ball.
|Hiii, Rin.
| I forgot to give it to you today, sorry!
You gulped, your thumb hovering over the screen for three long seconds before you finally hit send.
No reply. Minute after minute passed in silence. Oh. Okay then. You let out a heavy sigh, tossed the phone onto your desk, and threw yourself onto your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling until you finally drifted to sleep.
────
The next morning, you woke up and checked your phone instantly.
Your heart leaped straight into your throat when you saw a notification waiting for you from his name.
| Rin: Give it to me sooner.
| haha, see you soon!”
────
You entered the room, your heart pounding a frantic rhythm against your ribs the moment you spotted him.
Taking a deep breath to steady your shaky legs, you forced yourself to walk up to his desk.
“Hi! Uhm, here's the paper you asked for.”
He gave a curt nod. “Thanks.”
Without wasting a single second, he snatched the sheets from your hands and immediately began reading over your lines.
There was an awkward tension —you didn't want to just walk away yet. You wanted to stretch this moment for as long as you could.
“Sooo, if you need help… you can… ask me!”
Rin stopped reading. He slowly looked up at you, his gaze sharp and unreadable, before flicking his eyes back down to the paper.
“Maybe.”
It wasn't an outright rejection, which gave you a tiny, reckless surge of confidence. You pressed your luck. “And maybe… you can help me with Eng—”
“No,” he said flatly.
The single syllable cut through the air before you could even finish your sentence.
Your heart skipped a beat, your throat tightening instantly. You panicked, your hands flying up in a small, frantic gesture as you tried to quickly rephrase your words to save
face.
“Eh, but I’m helping you with the literature paper, so it should be fair… you know?”
You were absolutely bawling this conversation.
You squeezed your eyes shut for a split second, desperately hoping that since he already said no, he at least wouldn't completely roast the hell out of you.
Rin didn't answer right away. He didn't even look up at you this time. He just stared at the page, “I don’t need your help,” he muttered, “And I don’t have time to waste teaching you.”
The bluntness of his words stung, a familiar dull ache settling right into your chest.
You swallowed hard, forcing a tight, awkward nod. “Right. Okay. Just… let me know if you need anything else then!”
He didn't reply, leaving you standing awkwardly by the corner of his desk. You stood there for ten agonizing seconds, glancing at him, and him not even noticing your existence, before finally turning around to walk back to your seat.
────
Itoshi rin I wished you would see me as I would see you.
────
It was 2:30 AM. Outside, there were no cicadas buzzing anymore—just the quiet, lonely hum of the night wind rushing past your window and the rhythmic click-clack of your oscillating ceiling fan.
You lay flat on your back, staring blankly into the dark ceiling.
“I feel...what is it that I feel?”you whispered to the quiet room.
You hadn't eaten a single thing since noon. Kouki kept on giving you half glances and pushing their lunch but you just said you were full from a heavy breakfast—knowing full well, that was a lie.
A sudden, familiar sting pricked your eyes, and when you raised a hand to touch your face, your fingertips came back wet.
Was this the fourth time you had cried today?
“I can’t even remember…”
“ Why do I feel like this…I hate it—I hate myself.”
The sobbing turned into heavy heaving and more tears stinging down your cheek.
────
The numbing was getting worse and desperate for a distraction, you reached for your phone.
The sharp blue screen lit up, blinding you for a second as you opened your contacts; Your thumb hovered directly over Ema’s name. Yeah. Ema knows. She had practically begged you to open “I don't want to be a burden.”
You left your finger that was hovering over the keyboard. Making you exit the chat room, you saw his name underneath Ema.
Itoshi Rin
You knew you shouldn't. You knew it would be awkward and that he didn’t know you at all.
“This is pathetic,” you muttered to yourself.
Fuck it—we ball.
Your thumbs flying across the keyboard.
Itoshi Rin
|Hi, Rin..!
|Do you cry often?
The moment the text bubbles delivered, a cold splash of regret hit your stomach. Stupid. So stupid.
You flipped the phone face down onto your pillow, bracing yourself to be left on 'Seen' forever—or worse, completely ignored.
Ding.
Your heart practically leaped out of your chest. You snatched the device back up.
| Itoshi Rin: I don’t cry.
You blinked, staring at the short response, but before you could he texted again.
|Why?
| I was... just wondering. You don’t seem to care much about things, so I thought about it.
| Itoshi Rin: Why would you care? You don’t know me.
| Well... nothing. Can I get advice?
Seen.
The silence stretched for a agonizing minute before you typed out the question keeping you awake.
|What would you do... if you feel... emotions, you can’t bare?
|Itoshi Rin: Meditate. It helps.
| Itoshi Rin: Its best to let it out too.
You stared at it and crying had stopped.
|Thanks for talking to me tonight, Rin.
| Can... can I talk to you often?
Seen.
────
The next morning, you opened your notebook and started to write.
I finally was able to talk to Itoshi... it felt weird to open up. Well not really—I just ask him if he cries. It's pathetic, but... I don’t know. Why I choose to talk to him. I texted Ema about what happened again , and she told me to never hesitate reaching out. She told me to stop feeling like a burden when talking about what's going on with me. She said everyone needs someone to listen. I’m so grateful for her. I don’t know how I ended up like this—I want to get better, but I’m scared—so scared.
────
The late-night texts kept going. He never exactly said "no" to your messages, so you just kept reaching out.
The next day , you remained complete strangers. You sat on the left side of the room, and he sat in the back row by the window, you’d still glance at him, then he took notice of you making your smile and give him a tentative wave, but his eyes just walked pass right over you, never acknowledging your existence
By night it became different. It confused you.
11:45 PM
|Hey Itoshi, are you up? I can’t sleep…
|You: I feel so tired.
|Itoshi Rin: Go to sleep then.
10:45 PM
| How was your day?
| Itoshi Rin: Had practice.
|You: Oh, how'd it go?
|Itoshi Rin: Okay. But the people playing were lukewarm.
03:02 AM
|Itoshi Rin: Wanna talk?
You sat up instantly, rubbing your tired eyes.
|Yeah wsp? I'm trying to watch a scary movie to fall asleep.
|Itoshi Rin: What is it?
| Battle Royale, it really is gruesome—I think?
| Itoshi Rin: okay.
| Well what did you want to talk about?
03:03 AM
|It feels so hard to breathe.
| I’m sorry for bothering you, I’m so sorry.
| Itoshi Rin: Stop acting pathetic.
| Itoshi Rin: I’m listening, let it out.
| I’m scared, Rin.
Seen.
| Itoshi Rin: talk to me then.
10:04 PM
| Itoshi Rin: Hey, ...
1:20 AM
| Itoshi Rin: Had a tournament today. Teammate made us lose. So stupid.
────
It has been three weeks that had passed since you first texted rin. The exchange that you have was pretty much “you’d cry to him and he’ll let you talk but not say much” you felt embarrassed eveey time you did that but you kept on doing so. He also only reached out when his own internal anger was overflowing. You’d vent it out to each other and a ct like strangers in school.
You stopped trying to talk to him but you still couldn’t stop glancing at him.
────
10: 15 PM
|My family didn't talk at dinner again today, it feels suffocating, having to eat with them. I tried to talk but no one even responded.
| Makes me a bit sad.
| Itoshi Rin: Don’t let it get to you.
| I guess so. Hey What are you doing?
| Itoshi Rin: Cleaning my cleats.
01:34 AM
| Do you ever feel like you're running out of time? Like everyone is moving ahead and you're just stuck?
|Itoshi Rin: Yeah, I do
| really you do? Thats surprising lol
| Oh sorry, of course you do!
| Itoshi Rin: Why are you sorry?
| Idk, but I feel like…I’m stuck.
| Itoshi Rin: You should change your mindset and the way you look at yourself.
| Maybe….anyways how was your day??
| Itoshi Rin: Good.
02:45 AM
| Itoshi Rin: Training was trash.
| Did something happen?
|Itoshi Rin: The midfield couldn't keep up with my passes. They kept fumbling the ball.
| lol
| Itoshi Rin:how was your day?
| It was okay, I failed the history quiz lol.
03:10 AM
| I can't sleep. My head hurts from crying again. I can’t breathe.
| Itoshi Rin: hey, calm down and breathe.
| Itoshi Rin: don’t focus on that.
| Itoshi Rin: focus on good things.
| Thank you…I’ll try.
12:32AM
| Hey, are we friends?
Seen.
| I’ll call you Rin from now on
| I see you as a friend Rin.
| Itoshi Rin: Go to sleep, …
11:25 PM
| Rin : Can I talk to you?
| yeah, of course Rin.
────
You got to know him more and more by having late night conversations with him. And The notebook bullet points grew longer and longer.
Rin likes horror movies and games.
He told me he likes owls because he is intrigued by their eyes.
Rin finally opened up to me.
He talks about his brother Sae constantly, but it always sounds like he's trying to convince himself that he hates him.
I think Rin is just deeply lonely, just like me.
He keeps talking about sae and continued on opening up about how he felt. I think he trusts me but we still don’t talk during school days. I don’t like the fact that we act like strangers.
Ema saw me smiling at my phone during lunch today. She nudged my shoulder and asked if I was finally moved over rin since I haven’t been talking to him and that I found someone else to crush on—I didn’t tell any of my friends on what’s going on.
We still don't talk at school. Today in the hallway, our shoulders almost brushed as we passed each other . He didn't look at me.
I called him my friend in a message last night. He didn't text say “yes” or “no” and he just told me to go to sleep.
We keep talking to each-other and I’ve been knowing more about Rin. He keeps talking about his Goal to beat his Older Brother Sae. I also, asked him if I can watch him play, he said sure. I’ll go watch him for his next match.
I want to hang out with him, I don’t think I care that I give him affection without asking him for anything back. After all, I think I’m holding onto Rin as someone who I can talk to, and it’s the same for him.
You closed the notbook and You pressed your for You closed the notebook and pressed your forehead against your knees.
“I see you, and you see me, Itoshi Rin,” you thought.
Even if it’s only through a screen.
“At least I get to know who you are… even if, in the end, I still feel lonely.”
“Maybe I don’t know you…at all… but knowing you, even from this far away, is better than not knowing you at all.”
| Written by Jammy. Please do not copy and paste or feed my work into an AI. This was completely written by hand, thank you for stopping by and reading!
| Taglist: @thetwinkims @pusheenlover43ver
I did his older brother already, now it’s time to write an angst for Rin.
Sae(?) x Fem!Reader
tw: grammar errors, alcohol, poorly written crack?
basically, your boyfriend dumped you. you saw him again. you hurt him. or at least, you thought you hurt HIM
i’m sry idk how to write summaries
“PWAH!”
Your friends flinched in their seats when you slammed your glass down onto the table, wiping your mouth before raising a hand towards the kitchen. “Grandma! Another bottle please!”
You sigh and lean back with a lazy smirk, “starting today, I’m going to live my life single—happy, healthy! No need for a man to provide for me!” You declare, voice slurring from the amount of drinks you consumed the past hour.
“R-right…”
“You go, girl.”
Once the grandma whose restaurant you and your friends were at placed two more bottles in front of you, you wasted no time opening one before pouring more into your glass.
You brought the rim to your lips, then paused when your gaze drifted and landed on the tv screen. Your eyes twitched at the sight of Itoshi Sae—your ex-boyfriend, who decided to dump you for soccer.
It was an interview after a game all the way in Spain—the one you bought a ticket for only for it to end up in the trash after the break up.
Noticing your bubbling anger, your friend quickly held out a hand to block your view from the tv. “Come on, don’t look at him! He’s not worth it!” She nudged your other friend’s foot underneath the table, who jumped before quickly nodding in agreement.
“She’s right! He totally fumbled. And, he’s going to fumble that career he chose over you anytime soon!”
“Psh,” you mumble before chugging down your drink again, eyes turning glossy. “Whatever. ‘ts not like I care anymore.” You slurred, dropping your face down onto the table with a loud THUD! “It’s not like I was a bad girlfriend! In fact, I put more effort than he did into our relationship! He was the one who spent the last two hours trying to convince me that a long distant relationship will work out—but oh nooo, apparently not!”
You flipped off the tv, but quickly brought your hand down after noticing that the screen was no longer showing your ex-boyfriend, but a baby in an advertisement instead.
DECEIVER - OLIVER AIKU X READER
a/n: first time posting on tumblr! a certain someone makes a special appearance and i already have a part 2 in place lol. enjoy <3
you knew that oliver aiku was anything but a good man. every part of you knew that he wasn't worth a damn, but with the way he pleaded for a chance with you, how could you say no? the first few months or the 'honeymoon' phase of the relationship felt like something out of a fairytale. the dates, gifts, how he'd update you throughout the day of his hectic schedule. everything slowed down before it stopped.