𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 . Cause your holding onto someone who’s special…Itoshi Rin
| Sypnosis: During your final year of junior high, you finally grow close to Itoshi Rin. Between late-night phone calls and quiet moments, your feelings deepen—but loving someone doesn’t always mean they’ll love you back.
| Notes : All characters are minors, No implied gender, half assed proofread—we ball. And I liked this better than the first one.
| The biggest situation-ship ever |
Enjoy Reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)!!
II. Cause he is not, with anyone special.
It was the second term of your final year of junior high. A month had passed since that first late-night conversation with Rin.
Without the either of you mentioning it, texting each other every night had become routine.
Every evening, sometime after homework and dinner, your phone would light up with his name. Sometimes he texted first. Sometimes you did. The conversations weren’t always long, and they weren’t always meaningful, but they always happened.
You finally got want you wanted, to know him better. And that made you smile every time you see his name pop up on the notifications tab.
It was something that the two of you started to rely on, texting each other and asking “how was your day?”
You rested your chin on your palm as you stared through the classroom window.
“It must be cold outside…”
The seasons had begun to change. The bright green leaves that covered the trees with colors were slowly fading into shades of amber and brown. Finally, Autumn had arrived.
Another year was preparing to end.
Inside, however, your classroom remained exactly the same there were students who were laughing and crying at the same time while their friends said an inside joke about one another.
Multiple paper airplanes sailed across the room coming from the group at the back . Someone yelled over asking for people if they wanted to play a card game with them.
A group of four girls were chatting about where should they hangout next . And then a boy was leaning too far back in his chair before crashing onto the floor with a loud bang.
Making a section of students laugh at him while some were unamused.
You couldn’t help laughing. “That was really stupid.”
The room continued buzzing around you, but your attention had already wandered elsewhere, again.
Rin sat beside the window, earphones in as usual, and the same flat expression. Over the past month, the version of Rin you knew had become completely different from the boy sitting across the classroom and the person you would always try to pin on and bother him with trying to get to know him.
It was different now after many days had passed and it made you happy you were close, hopefully it was mutual.
At night, he listened whenever your thoughts became too heavy. He would stay on the phone until you finally calmed down enough to sleep.
Some nights, he barely spoke but you’d hear his quiet breathing through the speaker was enough and his presence seemed to lull you to sleep.
He’d do the same too went he wanted someone to know his thoughts about football, whenever it became too much, he vented to you too.
He would talk to you about his older brother and the situation and how different things had been.
The two of you had become closer than you ever imagined.
You used to pray for times like this and you hit the jackpot with finally being able to know him.
Every night, when your phone lit up with his name. You’d talk Conversations that began with simple questions somehow stretched for hours. You listened whenever he needed to vent, and he stayed on the line whenever you felt your world was going to swallow you whole.
Little by little, the two of you became each other’s quiet place—the one person you could always return to.
But that only happened at night time.
Neither of you had ever talked about it. There was never an explanation or a promise—that you were friends in public. It simply just became an unspoken rule, and had to accept.
No conversations in the classroom.
No sitting together during lunch.
No waiting for each other after school.
No walking side by side through the hallways.
You’d only stare at each-other and move on.
The version of Rin who stayed awake talking to you until three in the morning disappeared the moment he stepped through the school gates.
Whenever you gathered the courage to approach him, he always responded the same way.
His voice was as cold as ever, and his expression was flat and unreadable.
To everyone else, it looked like he barely knew your name.
it hurts you every single time.
The late-night phone calls made you feel like you mattered to him, but the moment morning arrived, it seemed like nothing happened.
“It is what it is.” You told yourself that every-time you felt an ache in your heart.
After all, he knew you now. He answered your messages. He listened to you when no one else did.
That should have been enough.
Asking for more would be even more selfish and greedy of you.
You just wanted someone—someone who was special.
Longing for something simple like a smile , a greeting. One glance that said, I know you.
Hopefully it will happen.
“Rin finally stopped ignoring me at school today.”
One afternoon, Ema had her arm hooked tightly around yours while Mahiro walked beside the two of you, talking so loudly half the hallway could probably hear him. Earning glances from people.
“Hurry up!” Kouki called from the front. “The convenience store’s gonna sell out if you three keep walking so slow!”
Kouki was right, Students flowed around you in every direction, creating a sea of navy colored uniforms.
Rin was walking toward you from the opposite end of the hallway.
Almost without thinking, you raised your hand in a tiny wave. In the past, he would’ve walked straight past you as though you weren’t even there.
But just before passing you, he gave the smallest nod. Then he just kept on walking.
Seeing what happened confused both Ema and Mahiro—glancing at each other if they actually saw cold lashes boy look at you.
And for the rest of the afternoon, you couldn’t stop smiling. You smiled so hard that it made your cheeks hurt.
|Itoshi Rin: It wasn’t a big deal.
|Itoshi Rin: I guess, wanna call?
The next day arrived and it was lunch time, it was the same atmosphere in the classroom. People were outside eating at the tables, some were coming in and out of the classroom doors talking to their friends.
You slumped over your desk, exhaustion settling heavily over your body.
While your stomach growled, but there wasn’t any food in front of you.
Ema had scolded you countless times.
Mahiro constantly reminded you to pack lunch.
Even Kouki had started buying extra bread “just in case.”
You’d brush it off saying you weren’t hungry or it was a hassle to eat. Making them look at you and still being supportive enough, telling you eating will make you feel better and lessen your migranes.
Still Most days you only drank water or milk.
Today, even that wasn’t going well.
“…They’re out of strawberry milk….”
You sighed heavily, in disappointment.
A second later— a gentle sound of a
A cold pink carton landed on your desk.
You blinked twice until you looked up on who was infront of you
“I bought too many,” rin muttered flatly.
“and they’re annoying to carry—plus you told me you liked strawberry milk.”
“So take it—or it would be a waste of my money.”
You nodded and before you could even thank him, he had already turned around, returning to his seat beside the window as if nothing had happened.
You stared down at the pink carton in your hands. A blush spread through your cheeks .
“Ohhh?” Mahiro suddenly leaned over your desk with the biggest grin imaginable. “ What do we have here?”
Ema appeared right behind him, trying—and failing—not to smirk at the event that just happened in front of their eyes.
“I thought Long Lashes didn’t talk to anybody.”
Mahiro nudged your shoulder and wiggled his eyebrows
“But apparently he’s making strawberry milk deliveries now.”
Your face immediately burned bright red.
“He just bought too many!”
Kouki dropped into the seat beside you before giving your back an enthusiastic slap.
“I did not know long lashes had game.”
“—I actually bought you one too.”
He proudly held up another strawberry milk.
“But Long Lashes beat me to it.”
Mahiro burst into laughter.
“You’ve got competition.”
“I do not , I’m still , someone in … , heart” kouki argued back dramatically. You tried hiding the carton under your arms while all three of them continued teasing you.
Eventually the laughter faded.
You looked down at the drink again.
Rin’s sudden shifts felt jarring. Buying you strawberry milk and acknowledging you after school contradicted his usual demeanor.
You started to understand what was happening.
Itoshi Rin: Just finished.
|Don’t stay up too late!!
|Itoshi Rin: You're one to talk.
|Itoshi Rin: Go to sleep.
|Itoshi Rin: Don’t call me that and Goodnight Night.
The screen went dark, but the glow from your phone lingered in the pitch-black room. You stared at the final message, and smiled—replaying the single syllable over in your mind.
The next morning, the air breeze carried a gush of chill. You pulled your uniform blazer tighter beneath the puffer jacket you hated wearing. It always felt too bulky, and suffocating
Still, your mother insisted, so you wore it anyway to not get sick. Today, you hesitantly took your lunchbox and waved your mom goodbye. It surprised her, when you took the lunch box that she placed on the table.
You’ve been trying to make an effort to talk to your parents even if you have to endure the awkwardness and it’s been doing decent . as you hurried through the school gates.
The school campus buzzed with its usual energetic atmosphere. Students were streamed through out the walkways in their own groups, their laughter echoing throughout the hallway corridors.
Stepping into the classroom, your pace instinctively slowed. Your eyes drifted toward the back row.
He sat with a slight slump in his chair, gazing out the window at the bare branches swaying gently outside. The pale morning sunlight spilled across his desk, casting shadows along the profile of his face.
As you approached, he caught your reflection in the window.
He didn’t immediately look away.
You stopped beside his desk.
“Morning,” you greeted, offering him a small smile.
He glanced up before quietly replying,
His voice was still rough with sleep as he turned back toward the window.
“Did you sleep at all?” you asked, tilting your head to catch his gaze. “You texted me last night, but I fell asleep before I could answer. Sorry!”
Rin finally looked at you properly. “It’s okay,” he muttered. “Oh?” you teased with a grin. “I was worried that you probably, missed me?”
You couldn’t help laughing. Even though he tried to look annoyed, he never reached for his earphones or dismissed you the way he once would have.
To everyone else, Itoshi Rin was isolated and the only time you’d see him talk was in English class or having to participate on the football team.
“He could be well liked by people if he didn’t have that blunt and unfriendly attitude of his.”
That’s was one of your first insights about him in the beginning of Junior high.
Girls whispered about him in the hallways but whenever they try to get to know him it soured their feelings.
Boys admired him from a distance , some absolutely hated him out of annoyance by his attitude.
Teachers rarely bothered trying to understand him
But no one would ever guess that this was the same boy spent hours talking to you over the phone after midnight.
The morning bell rang, abruptly shattering the quiet moment between you.
Students hurried back to their seats as the homeroom teacher entered with a stack of handouts tucked beneath one arm.
You reluctantly returned to your desk.
Throughout the announcements, you caught yourself feeling someone’s eyes on you.
Each time you casually glanced over your shoulder, Rin would immediately lower his gaze to whatever textbook happened to be open on his desk, pretending to read.
You smiled to yourself. Looks like you weren’t the only one who kept looking anymore.
By lunchtime, the classroom had erupted into its usual chaos. Desks were pushed together, lunchboxes opened, and conversations overlapped until the room buzzed with noise.
You had just unwrapped your lunch when a familiar shadow fell across your desk.
You thought it was Mahiro, Ema or Kouki but you looked back seeing them and they were behind you just giving you a thumbs up, which left you dumbfounded until you looked up
And saw found Rin standing infront of you, his hands buried deep in his pockets.
“Hey, …, are you going to eat?” he asked.
Usually, he disappeared somewhere quiet during lunch—where no one would bother him.
“Do you want to go together?”
“Sure...just don’t walk besides me.”
A grin spread across your face.
Without another word, he turned and headed toward the door.
You quietly packed your lunch before following several steps behind him. And looked at your friends who were cheering you on and Mahiro making a dumbass look on his face making you give him a death glare while Kouki laughed patting his back.
You trailed him by staying, five steps behind, It was enough to make it look like you weren’t together. Rin would slow his distance for you to be able to catch up.
By the time you reached the outside , a cool breeze rushed past as you pushed open the heavy metal door.
Rin sat down the bench and rested his forearms against the back rest .
You joined him, setting your lunch beside you.
After a few quiet bites, you picked up a piece of the omelette your mom prepared “ its good that your finally eating.” He said and you nodded and then held your chopsticks and held it toward him.
“Sharing!” You gleefully said.
“I brought my own lunch.”
“I know that, but taste it, tell me how my mom cooked it.”
You nudged the chopsticks closer.
Rin stared at you with obvious skepticism. Then, after several long seconds…He leaned forward.
He took the bite directly from your chopsticks.
While his fingertips brushed lightly against your hand.
The contact only lasted less than a second.
But a warmth spread across your face till the tips of your ears.
Rin chewed silently before crossing his arms.
“It’s mediocre.” You laughed at his response.
Then You reached into your bag and placed a familiar pink carton beside him. Rin glanced down before looking back at you.
“You’re obsessed with strawberry milk.”
“I’m loyal and it just tastes so good.” You countered while smiling.
He let out the faintest huff of amusement before reaching over and picking up the carton anyway.
Neither of you mentioned the small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
A few nights earlier, just before midnight, your room had been completely silent.
The lights from the street filtered faintly through your curtains, and the lights were already turned of you were laying down beneath your blankets, lazily scrolling through your phone.
You weren’t expecting anyone to call.
Especially not at that hour.
So when your phone suddenly vibrated against your bedside table, the sound startled you.
You reached over, expecting to see a random notification.
Instead, the screen illuminated with a name you knew by heart.
For a few seconds, you simply stared.
It wasn’t unusual for Rin to contact you anymore.
Your fingers moved before you could overthink it, sliding across the screen.
You lifted the phone to your ear.
You smiled softly, expecting the usual response.
The silence on the other end stretched.
You thought that maybe the call had disconnected.
A breath—an uneven—shaky breath .
Only another trembling inhale and again.
You sat up slowly, your expression changing as worry settled in your chest.
The same boy who once told you with complete confidence and muttered, “I don’t cry.”
Was now crying infront of you.
The person on the other side of the phone sounded nothing like the Rin everyone else knew.
A quiet sound escaped him trying to swallow back everything he was feeling.
For a moment, you couldn’t say anything.
You remembered the first time he had told you he hated showing weakness.
You remembered the way he had looked away, almost annoyed at the idea of crying.
You tightened your grip around your phone, pressing it closer to your ear as if distance itself could disappear.
Your voice came out quieter than you intended.
The only response was another shaky breath.
“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Your fingers curled slightly around the blanket.
An hour, had passed and you stayed on the line talking to him.
Looking across the classroom now, nobody would ever believe it. Not a single person knew. To everyone else, Itoshi Rin was exactly who he had always appeared to be.
If someone walked up to your classmates and told them Rin had cried over the phone only a few nights ago, they would probably laugh.
And assume it was a joke.
Your eyes naturally drifted toward him, the way they always did. Ever since the entrance ceremony in your first year of junior high, out of hundreds of unfamiliar faces, your attention had landed on a boy who was standing slightly apart from everyone else.
You couldn’t quite explain it then.
Back then, he was only a stranger you couldn't stop wondering about.
Now, he had seen and know about you.
The two of you were more alike than either of you ever admitted. You had cried in front of him; he had cried in front of you.
“Maybe thats the most vulnerable and intimate thing a person can do.” You thought to yourself
“Hey rin…I’m so happy that I’ve finally met you, I’ll always be there for you.”
The station platform was unusually quiet that afternoon. A chilly wind swept through the tracks, carrying scattered leaves across the concrete where only a handful of students lingered beneath the overhead lights.
Your train wasn’t due for another twelve minutes.
Rin leaned against one of the support pillars, his school bag resting at his feet, while you sat on a nearby bench, absentmindedly kicking your shoes against the ground.
“ so was practice rough?” you asked, noticing the fresh scrape across his knuckles.
“You still look tired, rinny.”
The silence settled between you again—Then, Rin reached into his school bag. Without a word, he pulled out one earbud and held it toward you.
You blinked looking at him.
“…Really..!” You looked at him smiling “are you sure?”
“Just, take it before I change my mind.”
Laughing softly, you accepted it. The wire stretched between you as you slid over on the bench to sit beside him.
And the quiet melody filled your ear.
Neither of you spoke. Just sat beside each other —because there wasn’t any reason to talk.
While the Trains rumbled past on the opposite tracks, announcements echoed overhead, and leaves danced across the concrete.
Every now and then, your shoulders bumped together whenever one of you shifted. Neither of you apologized.
A sudden gust of cold wind swept through the platform, causing you to instinctively rub your hands together.
“ … ,are you freezing?” Rin questioned .
Rin sighed, quietly unwrapping the navy scarf from around his neck. Before you could even protest, he dropped it over your shoulders.
“I’ll be okay,” his voice remained completely flat.
You pulled the warm thick fabric closer around yourself. It still held the faint heat of his skin, smelling gently of clean laundry and winter air. Your chest tightened with a sweet, sudden ache.
“ Just Give it back tomorrow.”
“I will,” you promised, adjusting the wool. “Should I wash it first?”
His head turned toward you instantly. “Don’t.”
“Dont because…”Rin bit his lip, but the words had already escaped. “—It’ll stop smelling like me.”
Silence fell over the bench. The realization hit both of you at exactly the same time, and Rin’s ears turned a vivid, bright red.
You stared at him, stunned, before a bright laugh burst from your lips. “I can’t believe you just admitted that!”
“Shut up,” he muttered, pulling his collar up, though it did nothing to hide the blush creeping up his neck.
That night, your notebook gained another page.
We shared earphones while waiting for the train today.
Rin let me borrow his scarf. He accidentally said he didn’t want me to wash it because it’d stop smelling like him. Lol, I’m going to keep teasing him.
I‘ think these ordinary afternoons are becoming my favorite part of the day. It’m happy i finally get to be near him. It makes me wonder… will we still wait for trains together after graduation?
Itoshi Rin: Did you get home safely?
|Thanks again for the scarf!
|Itoshi Rin: Don’t forget it tomorrow.
|Itoshi Rin: Goodnight, sleep well.
Months ago… You were desperately hoping he’d simply acknowledge you in the hallway.
Winter had finally arrived in full force.
You pulled your scarf tighter around your neck as you hurried through the school gates, teeth chattering. "So cold, so cold..."
"Bye, Mom!" you called out, waving back at her. You had been doing so much better this past year. Everyone close to you had noticed the change, and they were all incredibly proud that you finally felt genuinely okay again.
Sliding the classroom door open, your eyes immediately searched the back row.
By lunchtime, you were sitting with Ema, Mahiro, and Kouki. But right as you were setting up your meal, a carton of strawberry milk mysteriously appeared beside your lunchbox. Mahiro watched Rin’s retreating back as he walked away, then turned his gaze back to you.
"He’s not exactly subtle anymore, you know," Mahiro pointed out.
You blinked, pausing. "What do you mean?"
"He buys you food," Kouki listed off, counting on his fingers. "He waits for you after school. He texts you every single night."
"He literally gave you his scarf last week," Ema added, nodding thoughtfully. "And the two of you spend almost all your free time together."
Your face warmed immediately, the heat rushing to your cheeks. "We’re just friends."
Mahiro exchanged a knowing look with Kouki, and they both answered in perfect unison: "Sure... yeah."
After school, you ran incredibly late. The teacher had held you back to run a few last-minute errands and gave you a gentle scolding for a missing assignment you had completely forgotten about.
By the time you finally hurried onto the station platform, you expected it to be empty.
Instead, Rin was already there, sitting quietly on the bench.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, breathless. "Did you miss your train?"
Rin looked up at you, his expression unreadable. "…Yeah…"
You let out a breath and sat down beside him, simply watching another train rumble past and disappear into the distance.
Eventually, a soft laugh escaped your lips.
"…Nothing," you replied, looking toward the tracks. "I was just thinking..."
"And … it’s never awkward, I like it! Don't you like it too?”
For a long moment, Rin said nothing. He just stared ahead as the wind rustled his hair. Then, softly, he spoke. "Yeah…I do.”
Those two words settled somewhere incredibly deep inside your chest.
The next train arrived, but it wasn't yours. Neither of you stood up.
The train after that arrived, too. Still, neither of you moved.
"Hey…Rin?" you called out softly.
"Didn’t your train leave a while ago?"
You paused, looking at him. "Why didn’t you get on it?"
He kept his eyes locked straight ahead, his hands buried deep in his jacket pockets. "…Didn’t feel like it."
"You stared at him. "…So you skipped your train?"
Rin gave a tiny, nonchalant shrug. "I guess."
Your heart skipped a beat, a massive wave of warmth washing over you despite the winter chill. You smiled so brightly that your cheeks actually began to hurt.
Neither of you noticed the elderly station attendant standing across the platform, watching the two of you and smiling quietly to himself. Young love was entirely obvious to the rest of the world—except, of course, to the two people living right in the middle of it.
That night, your notebook entry was short, sweet, and close to your heart:
“I saw you smile at me today. Thank you for staying beside.”
February arrived before either of you realized it. The trees outside the classroom had long since lost their leaves, leaving only bare branches stretching across a crisp winter sky.
Graduation rehearsals had officially begun. Every conversation in class seemed to revolve around entrance exams, new schools, and what everyone planned to do after junior high.
"We have to take pictures before graduation!"
"I can’t believe it’s almost over…"
The classroom buzzed with a bittersweet excitement. When classes finally ended, you found Rin waiting beneath the front gate, his hands buried deep inside his coat pockets.
"You waited for me" you noted, walking up to him.
"You took forever." Rin replied shrugging you off.
"I was helping Ema," you explained with a soft smile. "And my friends and I were talking about summer plans and high school."
He simply nodded and the two of you started walking, the familiar path stretching out ahead was covered with thin white sheets of snow. While snowflakes landed silently on your scarves before melting away into the fabric.
"So..." you started, looking over at him. "You picked your high school?"
"The one with that major soccer program?"
He shook his head gently.
"What about you?" Rin asked quietly.
"I’m going to the same high school as my friends and I guess we'll be separated after this."
The station looked entirely different beneath the falling snow.
Everything felt quieter, covered by the winter air. Even the train tracks sounded seemed softer.
The two of you settled on your usual bench followed, and without asking, Rin handed you one earbud.
You accepted it without a word.
He frowned slightly, looking at you. "What kind of question is that?"
"I don’t know," you murmured, looking down at your boots. "I was just thinking... if someone asked what we are... what would you say?"
For the first time in a long while, Rin looked genuinely caught off guard. His mouth opened slightly, then closed again.
Finally, he shifted his gaze toward the tracks. "…You’re…" He hesitated, his voice dropping to a low murmur.
"you are someone special. And important."
Your breath caught in your throat.
The world felt like it stopped.
"That’s all," his face turned away completely, pretending to watch the distance. "Don’t make a big deal out of it."
You let out a soft breath. "Thank you."
That night, your notebook opened again.
Rin called me important today. He looked so embarrassed afterward. I don’t think he realized what saying something like that would do to me. I’m happy he thinks I’m special, because he is too.
Graduation is only a few weeks away. I’m scared. Not because we’re graduating, but because I don’t know if things like this can stay the same forever.
I’m scared that I won’t see him anymore.
I think… I’ll finally do it.
Your phone buzzed just before midnight.
Several minutes passed. You smiled at the glowing screen.
The typing bubble appeared. Disappeared and appeared again. Then—
You laughed softly to yourself.
Another long pause. Finally, two messages popped up in quick succession.
| Itoshi Rin: I care about you.
| Itoshi Rin: Don’t disappear after graduation.
You stared at the message.
Then your chest tightened until it almost hurt.
Your fingers hovered above the keyboard, countless thoughts rushing through your mind.
I won't. I'll always stay. Because I love you.
Instead, you typed the only words you trusted yourself to send.
|I won’t don’t worry o(｀ω´ )o !
The call came only seconds later. Nearly two hours, you stayed connected, talking about nothing and everything until you two were tired.
Eventually, all that remained was the steady, comforting sound of each other’s breathing.
You listened until sleep pulled heavily at your eyelids. One thought lingered in your mind.
I’m going to tell him. Before junior high ends… I’m going to tell Rin how I feel.
Graduation arrived beneath a heavy, gray winter sky.
The ceremony itself passed in a complete blur. Teachers gave moving speeches and handed out certificates while proud parents applauded. Classmates cried openly in the hallways, exchanging signatures and promises to stay in touch.
Your eyes searched through the crowd for only one person.
He stood near the tall windows with his diploma tucked beneath his arm, quietly answering the occasional congratulation before slipping away whenever the conversations became too long. Just like always.
Your notebook rested safely inside your school bag. Only one final page remained. You opened it, the paper trembling slightly beneath your fingers.
“ Today’s graduation. I’m going to tell him. No matter what happens… I don’t want to regret staying silent!
Slowly, you closed the notebook. "…Okay…I can do this! "
The sky had already begun turning a brilliant, fiery orange when you finally found him. He was standing completely alone on the train platform, hands buried deep in his pockets, watching the empty tracks.
"Hi, Rin!” You waved at him.
He glanced over, his eyes softening as you took your place beside him.
Junior high was officially over. There would never be another ordinary walk home after school. A shared classroom. Another convenient excuse. This was your last shot on finally saying everything you wanted to say.
If you didn’t say it right now, you never know what could’ve happened. “Just do it, … !”
Your hands began to tremble.
"I need to tell you something."
He turned fully toward you. For the first time since you had known him, he looked nervous.
Your heart pounded so loudly it threatened to drown out the distant rumble of the approaching train.
"I..." You laughed shakily, looking down. "This is embarrassing."
"…No," you insisted, taking a slow, grounding breath. "I’ve liked you for a long time. I liked you even before we started talking. And I’m so grateful that you helped me and stayed by my side. I’ve liked you this entire time. Before everything else... I just hope that you won’t forget me, when we go our separate ways. I just wanted you to know.”
Silence fell. The cold wind swept between you on the concrete platform. Rin didn’t move. And his sharp blue eyes remained fixed on yours, unblinking.
"Please say something," you whispered.
His mouth opened, then closed again. "…I…" Another long silence stretched between you. "I don’t know."
You blinked, a small pang hitting your chest.
"I..." He frowned, looking genuinely frustrated with himself. "…I don’t know if what I feel is… that."
You stared at him, waiting.
"I like talking to you," he spoke into the wind, his voice raw. "I wait for you. I don’t hate walking home with you. I don’t hate when you call." He paused, balling his hands into tight fists inside his pockets. “I trust you…” he whispered "You’re someone who is important. But… I don’t know if that’s… love."
Your chest tightened, a cold weight settling in.
He looked genuinely conflicted, a rare vulnerability breaking through his usual stoic mask. "I don’t know. I've never... I've never thought about it."
He stopped speaking altogether.
You finally understood. A single, hot tear rolled down your cheek before you even realized you were crying. You let out a watery, breathless laugh. "You’re so unfair, Rinny.” you kept on laughing.
"I spent years—no—months trying to figure you out," you whispered, wiping at your face. "And you haven’t even figured yourself out."
"I’m sorry, ... ” It was barely a whisper. The very first apology he had ever given you. "I’m sorry."
Your vision blurred entirely. Stepping forward before fear or hesitation could stop you, you wrapped your arms tightly around his torso.
Rin froze completely. Slowly, and awkwardly, he lifted his arms and they settled carefully around your back—uncertain, on what to do, but he held onto you tightly.
The train thundered loudly in the distance, getting closer, but neither of you moved.
"I wish..." you whispered against his shoulder, closing your eyes. "…I wish you could have loved me, too."
The words slipped out before Rin even realized he had spoken them. His own eyes widened in realization.
He couldn’t explain it. He couldn’t take it back. He couldn’t understand the sudden ache in his own chest.
You pulled away just enough to look at him, smiling gently through your tears. He looked completely lost—and didn’t know what to say nor do with the emotions that he was feeling and currently experiencing.
"It’ll be okay," you assured him softly. "You don’t have to force yourself. I just… wanted you to know. So Thank you for saying I was someone special to you, Rin!”
The train pulled into the station with a loud, metallic screech, its bright headlights washing over the both of you. You took a step backward,
"Goodbye, Rinny.” You gave him one final smile, waving your hand.
He watched you step onto the train. The heavy doors began to slide shut. Just before they closed completely, you looked through the glass and smiled one last time.
Rin slowly lifted his hand. A tiny wave. The exact same quiet acknowledgement he had given you in the school hallway all those months ago.
And you waved back. Tears falling down your cheeks that stung. But you still smiled at him, wanting him to remember that you were okay no matter what he said.
The train surged forward, carrying you away into the winter evening. Rin remained still watching you disappear from his fingertips.
And a tear fell from his cheek,
“goodbye, … , thank you.”
| Written by Jammy. Please do not copy and paste or feed my work into an AI. This was completely written by hand, thank you for stopping by and reading!
| Taglist: @thetwinkims @pusheenlover43ver @luvynii
