His mother has always been more that just a little important. Sheās supported him, loved him, protected him, and he has always thought of her as possibly one of the coolest people in the worldā¦ But this is different. She wants to protect him, so she tells him what to do. She tells him that itās better to rest- to stay inside. He should sleep. Heās been so sick recently. He had the flu just a week ago. Heās 14. He loves dancing- rapping. He loves going out and seeing his friends after classes and showing off. He feels better when heās moving and feeling the rhythm- even though his body feels worse. He canāt stand being locked up.
Which is exactly why he sneaked out. Heās been told not to- been told that heāll be punished if he does, but this is the one thing he canāt agree with. He loves his mother so much but he could never stand to do this. He canāt cut himself off. It feels like giving up, and he wonāt let this broken body kill what happiness heās managed to find. He wonāt let his stupid blood take his dream. His mother begs, but he canāt be contained. Maybe itās a flaw. He hates it when she cries.
When he comes home that night he canāt go back through the window. Itās closed- locked from the inside. He walks through the front door with his head down. He knows heāll be scolded- probably deserves it. He walks into the kitchen and his mother is sitting there- staring toward the door. She stands up when she seems him. Sheās mad. He can tell. She hugs him first before she scolds him.
Itās the same stuff. āYouāre sick!ā āYou need to rest!ā āWe donāt know what you might have!ā āWhat if this is making it worse?ā āWhat if you hurt yourself?ā Heās 14 and his fists are clenched- eyes starting to water as heās told yet again that he canāt do this. He canāt because heās sick, because heās weak, because he canāt make it.
Because of this stupid body.
And he bursts into tears. He knows he shouldnāt- knows it hurts his mother to see her son cry. He tells himself he shouldnāt cry- heās too old, too tough. His mother hugs him again- tighter this time. Sheās tell him that itās ok now. That heāll be okay. Theyāll figure out whatās going on and itāll all be alright. She swears.
But heās not sure he believes that.
āI donāt want to lose everything.ā The words echo from his own throat, but feel disconnected. āItās all I have, umma. Itās all Iāve ever wanted to have. I canāt lose this!ā Heās hugging her back- crying into her shoulder and sheās doing everything she can.
āYou wonāt lose anything.ā Her voice is calming. He wipes his own eyes. āYou donāt have to lose anything. I know you. You wonāt stop fighting until you get everything you want.ā She smooths his hair down- looks into his eyes and he gives a weak smile through tears. At the moment, he doesnāt know for sure if he can believe that. Heās not sure what to believe at all.
Except that he really doesnāt want to give in.
āI-I wonātā¦ā His voice shakes. āOne dayā¦ Youāre gonnaā watch me on TV. umma.ā He laughs- tears still falling. āIāll be on stage and everyone will love me! Iāll- Iāll be up there smiling and happy because- becauseā¦ā He wipes his eyes- smile starting to drop.
hailshowerjooheon: Wiggle- Jason Derulo (Feat. Snopp Dogg)/ Dance Cover!
The camera clicks on and Jooheon grins wide as he removes his hand from the camera. Recording in his apartment isnāt easy, but he couldnāt care less. Heās excited to be putting up some form of vlog no matter what that might mean. He waves at the camera excitedly.
āHeya everybody!ā He sticks his hands in his pockets and canāt help a slightly nervous giggle. āJooheon here! Howās everybody out there doing today? I hope everybodyās having a good time! I know the weather has been a little weird the last few days, so everyone please try to watch your health during all of this!ā He gestures a bit to the side as he speaks- looking up to the ceiling before managing to look back at the camera. āYou guys would not believe the weird week I had in classesā¦ One of our instructors got sick so the substitute was really confused. He ended up sticking us in random pairs and having us perform basically freestyle for the whole class. Honestly, it was pretty fun! But I felt sort of bad for my partner. She was feeling really nervous and thought she might be sick! In the end she really pulled through though! Iām super lucky to be surrounded by other talented people!ā
Thereās a pause where he realizes this is a dance cover and that he might be talking too much. So he shakes his head just a little before chuckling and speaking up yet again.
āOh! But check this out. I thought I might try out a dance cover today, yāknow, for fun! Iāve been practicing this one a good bit so I might as well show off, right?ā He rubs the back of his neck for a moment. Dancing for the camera is a little harder because of the limited space. Next time he should really just record in his univeristy. His room is fine for rapping, but less so for dance.
But itās too late for that now. He might as well get this over with and stop worrying. Heās just recording for the fun of it anyway. Another small laugh. āAlright. So Iām going to being a cover of Bonyoung Parkās Choreography to Jason Deruloās Wiggle! Hope you guys like it!ā He stretches his arms over his head for just a moment before calmly backing up and clicking on his music.
He is very glad he cleared some floor space for all of this. This dance isnāt easy and he often forgets how much time he spends on the ground during it. By the time heās up and clicking the music off again heās catching his breath just a little. He approaches the camera and grins- pushing his hair out of his face some. He laughs again- this time much louder. His nerves are gone after all of that. It doesnāt even matter to him if he looked good or not. It was fun.
āAnd there we have it!ā He holds up finger hearts at the camera. āI hope all of you liked it and donāt forget to like and subscribe for more choreography and rap videos! Iām Jooheon and stay cool!ā
Thatās when he realised where they were and how he had been on the edge of formulating a workout plan. His brows raising, eyes darting around the space and then making a snap decision.Ā āI was going to work out, but I can do that later. One day wonāt kill me,ā Yuta comments, as if he worked out every day and this was the one time he would give himself a break. There was boyish chuckle, bubbled on his lips as he shifts his weight and shakes his head; an overflow of energy that made it impossible to quite stand still.Ā āHow about we go get an after-workout snack? Thereās got to be a nearby place to eat,ā he suggests, thumbing over his shoulder blindly and looking over Jooheon expectantly.
Jooheonās eyes are sparkling almost instantly. Itās easy to get him excited- but it doesnāt change the fact that he feels so giddy when it happens. Yuta recognizes him easily enough. Thatās enough to make him even happier than just seeing him. This day has taken such a positive turn that he really canāt see it getting worse in any way. Heās practically bouncing in place as he grins. Heās losing track of the conversation just a bit- mostly because he probably spoke a bit faster than he could think. It doesnāt matter, though. Nothing does other than the fact that things are good and that now heās got someone to talk to.
Heās happy at the contact- happy that Yuta didnāt pull his hand away or something. He sort of snickers awkwardly at the pat on the side- moving one hand to mess with his hair. Itās good. Things are good. Yuta says they are, at least, and Jooheon has absolutely no reason to believe otherwise. He agrees that they should hang out and Jooheon only grins more. Good! He could use a friend to hang out with more. He really doesnāt get out enough. Practicing and exercising is great and all, but sometime it does get a bit lonely... Even he has to admit that at some point.
So the moment Yuta starts saying that he can workout later- Jooheon nearly jumps to hug the guy. At least he has enough self restraint to stop himself there, though. Heās probably too excited about all of this and he knows better than to start bouncing off the walls or something. Instead he just laughs out loud- again ruffling his hair.Ā
āHey now! Workouts are important! But hey, Iām not gonnaā turn down a snack.ā He shakes his head a little- trying to keep himself from talking too quickly.Ā āAre you buyinā?ā He laughs just a bit at that- just snickering under his breath. He wouldnāt expect Yuta to actually pay, but heās at least going to joke about it. He taps his foot lightly- glancing around for a second before he recalls that he should probably agree and not just joke around.
āKiddinā though. Of course! I could probably use something to eat. Donāt know if I remembered tā do that today.ā His smile turns a bit sheepish. Heās suddenly aware, yet again, that heās very tired. The realization is all it takes to change his posture just a little. Right, he pushed himself too hard... All this energy heās throwing out really isnāt helping either. He chuckles just a little.
once the song concluded, minah decides to take initiative and approach the man. āhey, i know you!ā she exclaims while attempting to calm her nerves down (after all, he was famous in her eyes). not caring if her approach seemed intimidating at first, she continued to speak, āi mean, i do not know you personally but i do know about the mixtapes that you made before! they are fantastic, by the way.ā minah adds in a compliment that was also the truth as well. she really did enjoy his mixtapes ā she enjoyed it so much that she listened to it several times and could try to perform in front of him. āi may have used them as a guide to help me how to rap tooā¦ā minah chuckles as she feels shy over the thought that she was revealing information that she should have kept to herself.
knowing that she spent too much time rambling and not getting straight to the point, she offers a handshake as she introduces herself, āmy name is minah and it is a pleasure to meet you.ā
He doesnāt perform on the streets as much as heād like these days. He doesnāt get the chance too. Heās taking too many classes- practicing too often and that usually means he finds himself exhausted before he gets to think about rapping, even for a moment. Itās a bit annoying, really. He loves getting to rap. Itās not the same as dancing, but it comes as a close second. He likes it enough to miss it for sure. Lazily freestlying in the shower doesnāt count, either.
But today he gets the chance to actually perform and that makes him feel so much better. Sure, heās tired, but isnāt he always? His performance is great and while heās not exactly sure how well it went over he really canāt bring himself to care either. Heās just happy to be out here- to be doing this. The moment heās done he leans back and just smiles to himself some. Itās a good day.Ā
The girl approaching him is a little out of the ordinary, but... He doesnāt really think anything of it at first. He just smiles at her a little- waves. He isnāt expecting her to actually talk until she does. Thatās when his eyes go just a little wide. She knows him? No personally, obviously, but she knows OF him? Sheās listened to his stuff?
What?
Heās dumbstruck and definitely looks it. Not only does she like his mixtapes, she knows them. She likes them. She actually straight up used them as a guide to rap. Heās never even stopped to consider himself anything but an idiot, really. His mixtapes? Those were just made for fun. But this girl LIKES them! He starts grinning- face turning a little red.
āYou, uh... Really like them? Thatās awesome! I mean, I donāt really meet people who have heardĀ āem often.ā He adjusts his snapback for a moment. How should he really even respond to this?Ā āItās, uh... Itās great to meet you Minah! I really canāt say I expected to meet a fan, but... Wow this is awesome! Itās really cool to meet you! And uh... Yeah! Just... Sorry. I really donāt even know what to say!ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā His inability to actually approach people made him sink down a little in his seat, turning back to the textbook in his hand without actually reading anything. He words āRapper Lee Jooheon is across the room from meā repeating in his mind, and every few seconds he would peek over the top of the book again to see if the older male was still across the room. Only to quickly duck down again, an embarrassed flush running down his neck from his cheeks.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āget a grip, Dongmin.ā He muttered to himself, berating himself for acting like child. He cant just sit here and stare like some kind of weirdo, that would be a horrible first impression. But its not like he is actually going to get up, that would be too wild.
This is just his normal trip to the cafe, or at least semi-normal. In this case, heās here a bit later in the day than heās used to because he realized that he could probably use some sugar after practicing quite as hard as he has been. Heās just excited to get a drink at this point, really. Itās a simple thing but Jooheonās a bit easy to make happy, so this is normal enough. Heās already got his drink when he notices something from the corner of his eyes.
Thereās this... other guy really staring at him. He had noticed it earlier but had passed off the grin as nothing meaningful. People accidentally smile at strangers all the time, right? At least, that makes some amount of since in Jooheonās head. Now that heās paying closer attention, though, he realizes that maybe the level heās being watch is a tad odd. He checks over himself once- twice, just to see if maybe something is wrong with him. His clothes match. His hair doesnāt look stupid. Heās pretty sure heās not some sort of space alien.
So why would anyone look at him anyway?Ā
He sort of scratches the back of his neck- still not staring at the stranger himself. He doesnāt want to come across as rude or anything. The guyās got a book that heās using to hide his glances and now Jooheon realizes that this is definitely something he should probably address. So he takes a deep breath before walking over with a grin. Heās got to be friendly, right? Itās not like this guyās done anything wrong. He just... noticed something? Or something like that. Jooheonās not great with this sort of thing.
āHeya!ā He smiles and rests a hand on the table in front of the stranger.Ā āSorry to bother you... I just thought maybe you were lookinā at me? Is somethinā up? I donāt, like... have something on my face, right?ā He laughs just a little bit.Ā
having someone else do my makeupāah, hopefully i still look as pretty! ^^ is typed up in a tweet before she exhales sharply, locking her phone and placing it neatly in her lap, tilting her head up to smile at the male in front of her. eunbi keeps the smile wide on her face, pushing any thoughts of possible destruction of her face, because thatāll only make her anxious and twitchy and in that resultāmean and angry, and jooheon doesnāt really deserve to see that side of eunbi.
āyou at leastā¦kinda know what youāre doing, right?ā she watches him with pursed lips, teeth continuing to tug at her lip. āyouāre not going to make me look horrible, right? i mean, not like i couldāi look awesome always, butāyou know.ā
This might not be his very best idea in the world. Eunbi is chill with it, obviously, but... He still sort of worries about it. Eunbiās pretty after all. Like really pretty! Heād really hate to somehow make her any less so (though heās sure that she would still consider herself pretty no matter what he does). Luckily, he knows a thing or two about makeup. Actually, Jooheon knows a good bit about makeup. He just likes something about it- making people look nice. Heās not super knowledgeable on girlās makeup, though. In hindsight, he probably should have considered that a little more before he asked if Eunbi would be alright with him practicing on her.
But he smiles none the less- shining in his own way. If nothing else, heās not going to tell her that heās clueless on how girlās makeup works because that would probably make her nervous. Heād rather she think this is going to well... If it goes badly she can just... wash it all off and then be mad at him. That works well enough, right...? Right.
āOf course I do! I wouldnāt be asking if I thought I was going to mess you up or somethinā.ā He laughs just a little. Of course she always looks awesome. Thatās just how she acts. Sheāll always look her best even at her worst. Honestly, Jooheon canāt help but admire that confidence.Ā āEven if I didnāt, youāre right. You couldnāt look horrible if I was trying to make you look that way!... And Iām not. So itās all good.ā
He nods to himself as he sort of digs through the bag of makeup heās got. Yeah, he definitely doesnāt have anything in here that would look particularlly flashy or anything... Thatās for the better, though. If he just sticks to a more natural look than heās less likely to screw up...
Right? Right.
āJust... close your eyes or something! I wonāt mess up, I swear.ā
Track 1: Die for you- Starset.
Simple and sweet. Jooheonās not a huge fan of rock, but this song well encompasses his feelings toward working and his aspirations in life. Heās willing to do anything for his dreams, no matter what pains and suffering he has to go through.
Track 2: Rhythm- Jooheon.
A song about rap for once. A pretty good description of the way he probably feels in his head more often than not (including the repeating of phrases to try to keep himself convinced). He doesnāt sound nearly as rough outside thanks to his smiley attitude, but things still eat at him from time to time. He stays strong though, and keeps fighting.
Track 3: Mama- BTS Jhope.
Jooheon has always been a bit of a mamaās boy. This song well encompasses his feelings toward his mother and the support sheās given him throughout his search for his dream. Despite everything sheās always been there for him.
Track 4: Fighter- Monsta X.
More on Jooheonās willingness to fight for what he wants. He considers himself a fighter, in a way, thanks to his illness.
Track 5: Collide- Breathe Carolina.
First, a great dance track. Lyrically, the song is more about romance and partying than Jooheon might normally be up to, but the tempo and beat still fit his usually outgoing personality. He also likes the analogies of being the last standing and so on.
Track 6: Out Alive- Ghost Town.
More music about just fighting for something and the idea of making it out in the end.
sheās been in front of eyes beforeāadored and loved for her beauty. she eats up attention like itās candyātakes it in greedy like itās going out of style. eunbi will never been outright nervous (or at least show it on her form). confidence is integrated into her form, practically melted into her dna. she wouldnāt be hwang eunbi if she cowered in the face of the crowdāif she got stage fright. thatās not in eunbiās code. she wouldnāt be sophie hwang, new york cityās pageant winning princess (and a bunch others) for almost eight years straight if she got cold feet.
but jooheon isnāt eunbi. not at allāif by the way heās shifting and bouncing around. she can practically feel the nerves radiating off of him, and it takes every fiber of her being not to tell him to stop, or hit him in her frustration.
( .... )
Now he just feels stupid. Eunbiās standing in front of him- asking him whatās up and in all honesty he canāt formulate an answer quickly. He blinks a few times- stuttering some nonesense that isnāt even real words before he just sort of shakes his head. Heās not sure why he ran off. He was scared, but really why? Why be scared of the crowd? Itās not like they were really judging him. Even if they were, itās not like he would find out about that. Even if he found out, heād just... get better! So why did he feel the need to run off. He lets out a sigh- biting on his lip afterwards. How is he going to explain this? Saying heās stupid isnāt the best idea in the world. Itās true, but not the best idea. He crosses his arms tight and taps his foot just a bit.
āI-I got... Nervous.ā He gestures a bit openly.Ā āI donāt know why. When everyone was looking at me it was like- like... I dunnoā. They didnāt seem tā hate it or nothinā.ā He frowns more. He should actually focus on answering her questions as opposed to rambling half to himself.
āBut nah. I didnāt rip my pants or anythinā.ā His accent is way too prominent at the moment, but heāll ignore it.Ā āAt least I like... I like stayed for a second, right? Ugh... I mustāve looked like an idiot.ā And now heās feeling down on himself for no reason. He taps his finger against his arms and chews on his lip idly. He really is an idiot. He left her up there all alone too. She may not be mad but she probably has the right to be. Why did he do that? Stupidity? He groans.
āIām sorry... I didnāt mean tā leave ya;. I guess I just...ā Thereās a pause as he looks up- as if there will be answers there.Ā āI freaked out. No body has watched my performances since-- Since I was younger. I mean, the ones at Uni, yeah, but... Thatās different, yāknow? These are like... People who arenāt all well versed in fancy footwork and stuff.ā
Heās rambling. Heās very good at it. He tilts his head the the side and messes with his hair for a moment. Is she even going to get all of this? Heās pretty sure that he sounds as moronic as possible, but... Hopefully sheās at least semi-used to that. He shifts his hands to his pockets and shakes his head.Ā He canāt really bring himself to admit the truth, though. Heās mostly scared that someone will tell him he canāt do this- no matter how they say it. Just because heāll disagree, fight back, it doesnāt mean it doesnāt hurt.
And itās been so long since heās heard that... Heād really rather not have to ever hear it again.
āI guess Iām just scared that people in the audience will see through me or... not like me or whatever. Itās...ā He pauses- angry that he couldnāt find another word after all this time.Ā
( ... )
ā hi. ā the lanky male mumbled before crouching down. surprisingly enough, the cat remained close, sat down and continued watching him. definitely a domesticated one, hyungwon thought, and so well behaved, too. slowly, he stretched out his hand, waited for the cat to approach and bump its nose against his knuckles before he dared to stroke over its head. the sleek, black fur was soft beneath his palms, indicating that the animal must have been pretty well taken care of. the question of how an owner who seemed to care so well for his cat could allow it to get lost, but hyungwon didnāt think on it too much, instead reached for the collar around the catās neck in the hopes a tag would tell him where he needed to bring it. nothing. ā where is your owner, hm? ā the cat meowed again, as if that was the answer hyungwon had been hoping for. the male simply snorted in amusement before picking the cat off the ground and cradling it against his chest ā it worked surprisingly easy. there were still cars around and hyungwon didnāt trust one not to honk and possibly scare the poor thing into running onto the street. ā i wonder if mozart would like to have a friend. ā
This is an all out panic. Heās really not the kind of person who does that- panics, but this is sort of a special situation. He doesnāt have a lot here in Seoul. He has some good friends, obviously, but other than that heās a bit scarce on what he sort of... owns. While thatās not a great description in his mind for the relationship he has with his cat, H, itās better than nothing. H means a lot to him. Heās pretty much the sole thing that Jooheon knows he can come home to when heās having a bad day. He gets the chance to just snuggle with his somewhat grumpy ball of black fluff and no matter how hard the day was it feels better. H is comforting. Heās consistent. Jooheon sort of needs that kind of thing in his more or less hectic life. Heās always going out and pushing himself to far or upsetting himself with something stupid. So, in a way, he thinks of H as more important than his medicine.
Which is exactly why heās so freaked out at the idea of H being gone. He probably left his door unlocked or cracked or a window open or maybe someone broke in or... No, he canāt think about that right now. Really all that matter is finding H before he gets lost for good. He shouldnāt have gone too far, after all. Heās a good cat. He doesnāt like it outside! Why would he even leave the apartment? Doesnāt he know the saying about cats being curious or something? Jooheon groans to himself- picking up the pace as he glances around various corners. Surely his catās around here somewhere. He wouldnāt just disappear. He canāt go far. He tells himself these things over and over again and he quietly begins to call the catās name.Ā
Heās already tired. He stayed out later practicing today and now here he is, running around like some idiot mumblingĀ āHā over and over again. If he werenāt so worried heād probably be a lot more panicked about how he looks. He rounds a corner all to quickly- running more than he really should be if he wants to actually find his cat. He nearly runs straight into the tall male just around the corner- coming to a halt just barely before staring at the man. Jooheonās eyes are wide and heās panting a bit- trying to process the near-collision along with all the panic heās got running around in his head. He manages to come to the conclusion that he should probably apologize, if nothing else.
āSorry!ā He gives a quick bow before starting to run past the other. However- something catches his eye that makes him stop running just a few steps away- instead turning on his heel and rushing back toward the stranger. A big grin appears on his face as he stares at the ball of black fluff the stranger is holding. Sure enough, this particular cat has not only Hās collar, but his give away fangs.
āAhh! H!ā He laughs- out of breath.Ā āThere yaā are! How didjaā get out? When did yaā get out? Oh no, I hope yaā arenāt hungry, are you? Didjaā have an adventure out here? Why did yaā do that!? I nearly died lookinā for yaā!ā Heās talking far to quickly and H just tilts his head- tail swishing from side to side. His accident sort of falls out more commonly when chatting fast- and with the cat, of course. Heās really got to get better about that. For the moment Jooheon has forgotten that someone else is currently holding his cat, and likely thinks heās an idiot for the way he sounds. He stands up straight again- now looking at the man with an awkward laugh. Right. Heās got to, like... Talk to this guy.
āAhh, uhhh... Thanks, man!ā He rubs the back of his neck and smiles as best as he can.Ā āThatās, uh... My cat, H. Iām really glad yaā foundĀ āim.ā Heās giving up on the accent thing for the moment.Ā āUm! If I can thank yaā somehow- uh... I dunnoā. Just thanks.ā
He is an amazing conversationalist... Just not always.
Heās nervous, to put it mildly. Heās not used to performing in front of people like this. Not yet, at least! The nerves are also factoring into his boundless excitement, obviously, but it really doesnāt stop him from tapping his fingers against his leg and trying to get that same leg to stop bouncing furiously. Heās on soon and even though heās got Eunbi here to support him (and also help with the routine, sort of) it really doesnāt make him feel much better about the whole matter. He just wants to rush out now- probably screaming or something like that. Then again, that would make an awfully large number of people stare at him all the same- just for a stupider reason. This means that heās stuck performing no matter his nerves. Thatās probably a good thing.
He glances over at Eunbi for a moment- grin surfacing. If heās going to be so bouncy he might as well try to make it into something good. He needs the energy, after all. Itād be horrible if he managed to black out on stage or something. That shouldnāt happen, though. Thereās no reason it would! Unless embarrassment and nerves somehow activates his illness. Heās pretty sure thatās not how it works.
The performance in front of them ends and he looks up with wide eyes- smile dropping for the moment. That means itās time to go on stage. Time to dance. Time to do a lot of stuff and panicking is really, really not one of them. He swallows his fears for a moment and grabs Eunbiās hand to lead her to the stage. Hopefully she doesnāt mind. His brain really isnāt in the wholeĀ ābe a good personā set at the moment. He smiles at her again- this time a lot more nervous.
āWeāve got this- I mean... Youāve got this!ā Who is he trying to comfort?Ā āUm... Just... Just stand around and follow my lead, I guess! Iāll do most of the dancing- I mean, all of it. So... Uh... Thanks for doing this for me.ā Thereās someone talking on the stage so he makes sure to keep it down. He rubs the back of his neck before letting out a breath.Ā āIt really means a lot to me.ā
With that, heās moving on stage.Ā
The start up is casual- the music bouncy and soft. Heās got her hand for a reason and he smiles at her wide. This performance is, after all, more of a little show that anything. In his mind he tries to get into character. Sheās the light of his life and heās...? Well, he likes her. Thatās what matters, right? So he bows to her softly before the dance really begins and pulls out the flower he kept stashed away in his pocket. Itās easy to tuck it behind her ear with a smile.
For the moment, he can live in the act.
He hooks his arm with herās softly- walking with a bit more spring in his step than she might be. They look like a couple at a quick glance. He only separates finally when itās time to start up the dance. He spins away from her fluidly- keeping his eyes on her at all times. It needs to be believable- so he makes sure his movements are loose as he starts up his choreography. The moment he falls into the dance he forgets the stage- at least for the moment. Heās smiling- lip syncing sometimes just because the songās so catchy. This is natural to him. He canāt help but love the feeling of the air moving around him.
Occasionally he pulls Eunbi along for a move- but more than anything sheās just meant to be a... prop, for lack of better words. He didnāt want to force her to dance, after all. So heās trying his hardest to carry the choreo by just holding her hand or touching her shoulder- simple things. Itās almost like dancing by himself, but it feels better to have someone else around.
The dance ends in a simple move- him holding her hand again. Heās a bit out of breath, but happy. Thereās nothing in this world that makes him lose himself like he does dancing. Perhaps... to an almost excessive rate. Thereās some clapping and his eyes go wide- face red. He glances at the crowd and instantly recalls all of his previous fears. Right, heās on a stage. This isnāt just him and Eunbi having fun or something- heās performing. His face only turns redder and he drops Eunbiās hand to put his hands in his pockets and give a weak nod.
With that, heās OFF the stage. Quickly.
He practically hides once heās far enough away from the stage. Hopefully Eunbi wonāt be too mad at him for just... running off.
returning back to room, she heard the noise again. this time it was louder than before. the assumption of an intruder did not directly pop into her head, but she wanted to be safe than sorry. her older brother had bought her a baseball bat to protect herself that she always kept in room closet. dragging the baseball bat on the floor behind her, she exited her room. a shadow near her window made her assumption become a reality, an intruder. she couldnāt see the person since she didnāt turn the lights on but she didnāt bother to. in an oddly calm monotone voice, sejeong called out.
āwhat the fuck are you doing?ā
This is not his proudest moment. In fact, itās one of those silly moments that would probably get an episode if his life were some sort of TV show. That doesnāt really make him feel much better about it, though. He still feels like an idiot, Ā because honestly why how the heck did he manage to forget his keys? He had been practicing basically all day (until the kicked him out, actually) and somehow he never noticed that he was missing one of the about three important things he usually had on him. Just the one that actually let him get back into his house though! Not like thatās a big deal.
So here he is- outside his apartment staring up at the window that heās pretty sure he keeps unlocked. While climbing up and through the window doesnāt sound like a great time, itās better than trying to call someone to get his door opened. So he does exactly that- pulling Ā himself up to the window with some effort. He might have practiced a bit too hard today- considering how much his body aches when heās climbing. Itās not unbearable though- never is.
Once propped on the window sill he takes just a moment to catch his balance before glancing around the window. How is he supposed to get this opened again? He fidgets with it for a moment- trying to figure it out. It doesnāt take long for him to get it to actually opened. For once, heās thankful that his windows donāt lock properly. He slides into the room- laughing to himself just a little. At least no one has to hear about this. That could get pretty embarrassing quickly.Ā
And then he does a double take. This... isnāt his room. In fact, heās pretty sure this isnāt even close to his room. It isnāt until he hears a girlās voice that heās hit very hard by the realization. He has just unintentionally broken into someone elseās place.
Oops.
āU-Uh!ā He puts up his hand defensively. He canāt see her just great because itās so dark in the room, but heās pretty sure sheās holding some sort of thing that she could hit him with. Heād really rather NOT get knocked out and put in jail.Ā āI-Iām so sorry! I thought this was my apartment so I climbed through the window!ā And now heās bowing- trying to garner some sort of pity or at least make her believe him.
āI left my key in my apartment and Iām really tired because Iāve been working all day. I didnāt realize this was someone elseās place until I was inside. Please donāt call the cops! I really donāt want to go to jail for something this stupid!ā He frowns now- slapping a hand over his face.Ā
āIsnāt the embarrassment punishment enough...?ā
So spring has finally come around, and as far as Jooheon is concerned, itās nothing new. Another season for him to dance along the path of life and try his very hardest to stand out among what honestly feels like far too many other faces. He actually thinks this season is pretty. The flowers are gorgeous, so he tries to make time to actually admire them from time to time. That doesnāt always work out, of course. Heās usually still got his head to far in the cloud- or more in his dances- to actually pay attention to his surroundings. In a way, spring flies by and that just makes him feel... almost guilty. When everyone else is enjoying themselves so much, he should really find a way to do the same.
But his way of enjoying himself is sort of different, so he really canāt be blamed. Right now, especially, he really canāt be blamed. He tried extremely hard to go around looking at flowers- like impressively so. He even made a special note to save time for it instead of going to practice right away. Heck, he even went to a Starbucks and bought one of those fancy... Cherry blossom thermos things (obviously he got it filled with hot chocolate because when has he ever tried something new?). But now heās just sitting around watching couples oh so happily wander by as he suffers through the worst part of spring.
Allergies.
He has absolutely no clue if his anemia makes his allergies worse, but every year for about a week he finds himself sneezing like crazy when he goes outside. The flowers are pretty, but he swears that those are whatās causing him to sneeze like this anyway. How can something so absolutely beautiful be so cruel? Why is his own immune system attacking him (and for a different reason than usual)!? Itās a bit annoying, but he tries to make the best of it. The flowers are pretty, and the various couples are cute.
Okay thatās a lie too. The couples are actually just making him feel lonely. In hindsight, he really might should have tried to bring someone- anyone out on this little adventure with him. Sitting around by himself, sipping hot chocolate, and regretting not having a very strong social life isnāt improving his mood or his allergies, and he wonders exactly how heās supposed to force himself to enjoy spring when itās going like this.
At least there are some things to look forward to. He wonāt have to deal with the cold anymore. Thatās something, right? Heās always hated the cold a lot more than the really hot days... He sighs just a bit to himself. Right... Heās not really succeeding in being optimistic here, but he really does want to try. He wants to be able to enjoy the season like all of the people heās seen around.
But... really heās just feeling like an idiot, alone, sneezing, and wishing he could just head home and bundle up under some covers for a bit... Just so he can feel a bit less like he has to exist.
While Jooheon makes an effort to work out basically every day, it doesnāt mean he really enjoys it. Itās tiring and particularly so for him. He always feels like there are people watching him far too closely- judging him for not being able to keep up like most of them. Heās not out of shape. Heās been doing this for years now! Yet it always feels like he looks out of place. He feels more judged than he is, really. No one is looking. No one even cares that heās breathing a little harder than most or that he has to stop a bit faster. Heās just self-conscious- nervous. He just doesnāt want to start some sort of incident, because he really doesnāt want anyone to know.Ā
So sometimes he prefers to work out alone- at home. He doesnāt have all of the equipment heād like to have there but it at least makes him feel a little bit better about himself. Then again, heās going into the profession that involves as many eyes on him as possible, so he should really get used to it. He reminds himself that thereās no one really staring, that itās okay. Heās mumbling to himself just a little. Heās probably been here too long anyway. This usually doesnāt start bothering him until heās feeling particularly tired. At least, it doesnāt start until about half way.
Either way, he decides to pack up and leave. Thereās no point in sticking around when heās feeling so out of it. Heās pretty sure that sort of head space will only make him less productive, which means his energy is better off used somewhere else. At first he doesnāt think much of what heās doing- since itās a routine. Heās just putting things in his bag and taking a quick drink of water... But then he catches someone out of the side of his eye. All of his previous thoughts drop suddenly and he finds himself grinning huge.
āNo way!ā He rushes over now, standing next to the person he spotted. Surely enough, itās exactly who he thought. Yuta, an old friend. The whole scenario behind how they met might be sort of a sore spot for Jooheon in some ways, mostly because it involves Yuta figuring out early on about Jooheonās medical issues, but that didnāt stop Jooheon from deciding the two of them were going to be close friends. Maybe they really hit it off or maybe Jooheon has always just sort of thought they did in his head, but either way, he considers the two of them to be pretty close friends.
āYuta! Itās been a while!ā Heās grinning and sort of grabs his friends hands. Heās too touchy and he knows it, but that really doesnāt stop him.Ā āHow have you been? What have you even been up to? Is your brother-in-law doing alright?ā And so he goes into spitting out questions far to quickly. Now that he thinks about it, heās still sort of exhausted from working out... And didnāt Yutaās brother-in-law tell him not to overexert himself working out? Well... Hopefully Yuta wonāt run off and tell.
broken a bone | gotten stitches | had a serious illness | had a near-death experience | killed someone | tried and failed to kill someone | invented something | been hungover | kissed someone | slow-danced | been in a long-term relationship | had sex | had sex and regretted it | had a one-night stand | had a threesome | experimented with their sexuality | had a kid | gotten married | gotten a divorce | self-harmed | traveled to another country | been in a play | received an inheritance | been in a car wreck | lost a loved one | been dumped | dumped someone | smoked | gotten high | been slipped something in their food/drink | won a contest | won an election | joined a sports team | gone skydiving | gone hunting | been in a band | had a job | been fired | been in a wedding party | owned a pet | seen a ghost/spirit | skipped class/work | learned an instrument | gotten a noticeable scar | sued someone | been robbed | been mugged | been kidnapped | been sexually assaulted | been brainwashed/hypnotized | gone more than one day without eating | had a recurring nightmare | been bullied | bullied someone | seen someone die | attempted suicide | been tied/chained up | shot someone | stabbed someone | saved someoneās life | cheated on someone | been cheated on | had a stalker | been betrayed | been in a fight | been arrested | been to a funeral | had surgery | broken someoneās trust | gotten a piercing | gotten a tattoo | used a fake name | been tortured | been abused | been blackmailed | had an attempt on their life | gotten away with a crime | gone on a road trip | been in love
habits/nervous ticks
nail biting | throat clearing | lying | interrupting | chewing the ends of pens | smoking | swearing | knuckle cracking | thumb sucking | muttering under their breath | talking to themselves | nose picking | binge drinking | oversleeping | snacking between meals | skipping meals | picking at skin | impulse buying | talking with their mouth full | humming/singing to themselves | chewing gum | leg jiggling | foot tapping | hair twirling | whistling | eye rolling | licking lips | sniffing | squinting | rubbing hands together | jaw clenching | gesturing while talking | putting feet up on tables | tucking hair behind ears | chewing lips | crossing arms over chest | putting hands on hips | rubbing the back of their neck | being late | procrastinating | doodling | shredding paper | peeling off bottle labels | forgetfulness | running hands through hair | overreacting | teeth grinding | nostril flaring | slouching | pacing | drumming fingers | fist clenching | pinching bridge of nose | rubbing temples | rolling shoulders
Alright, so practice really isnāt going that well today. He should have realized earlier on that he would be this exhausted, but instead he decided to completely push that thought out of his mind. Maybe heās just too stubborn, but just because he woke up feeling a little sicker than normal really shouldnāt mean he has to forgo his whole schedule. Heād like to think that at least... Yet here he is, practicing as hard as usual- if not harder- and quickly finding that heās out of breath.
Ā He has to stop for a Ā moment just to catch his footing- stumbling off to the side before he manages to steady himself. The room feels like itās rotating around him and the difficulty heās having breathing really isnāt helping. He leans against the wall for a moment- trying to focus on steadying basically everything. If he can just get himself to calm down that would be a great help at this point. Anything, actually, could be a great help. Well, maybe not anything. There are probably things that could make it worse.
The pause is short lived, though. He can only focus on inhaling and exhaling so much before he gets agitated and starts forgetting how heās supposed to breathe in the first place. So he pushes himself away from the wall and back to the center of the room- still breathing a bit hard but at least a little better than before. The room is spinning half as much and thatās enough for him to feel ready to get back into the swing of things. He stands still for just a moment before starting up his routine once again.
Heās always a bit oblivious when heās dancing- whether that be to his surroundings or to his own condition. He always feels like he catches onto the fact that heās pushing himself too far to late. Then again, even when he does catch on he doesnāt bother to try to stop. He canāt remember when he last took a long break. Actually, he canāt remember when he started practicing in the first place. Or when he last ate. Or what time it is.Ā
Alright, so this whole scenario might seem just a bit silly on first glance. Jooheon is not usually so forward with people- at least somewhat. Itās not that heās bad at approaching people or really even talking to them. Itās more that he just is usually really distracted doing other things, so he misses the little things. In this case, though, heās the one deciding to speak up first and entirely because he feels like he needs to do so.
Maybe itās a mentality his mother gave him, but he really canāt help but want to feed anyone who looks like they might be hungry. In this case, itās someone heās run into a few times in the past: Wonwoo or did he prefer Won? Jooheon momentarily curses his poor memory. The two havenāt run into each other just a ton, but theyāve had a few conversations. The guy seems nice and thatās more than enough to make Jooheon happy. So seeing him looking hungry? Well, Jooheon just canāt stand that. So he might have jogged to a close by convenient store and bought a bag full of assorted snacks... Is it silly? Yes. Does he really care about that? Uh, well... Also yes.
But that doesnāt matter! Heād much rather make sure that Won isnāt starving and if that means he has to make himself look silly then so be it. Then again, the worst thing about this is probably that the bag is mostly full of assorted sweets... In hindsight, salty snacks might have made more sense, but they didnāt seem as appealing at the time. Hopefully these will work well enough.
He plops down next to Won with a grin- maybe a little out of no where but he doesnāt see it that way himself. After all, he went all the way to convenient store and back! This is very premeditated for him. He holds open the bag of snacks so that the various contents can be seen.
āHey man! You look hungry! Want something?ā Well, itās not the best way to say hello but itāll do for the moment. He nudges the bag closer to Won and keeps talking- maybe just a bit too fast.Ā āI thought Iād share because itās not like I can eat all these anyway, so... Dig in if you want! Sorry itās all sweet stuff. It looked better at the time and I am awful about controlling my impulses.ā
