var sc_project=11794693; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="edbd857f"; allow for the possibility that the best stuff is still ahead of you, waiting to reveal itself. prepare the way, bit by bit. kim sojung.
trc's visionary leader.
You’re led down the hall by a staff member early in your day at TRC Entertainment, to Tiger JK’s office. When you step into the room, he’s seated behind his desk, appearance far more casual than would be expected of a company CEO. He motions for you to sit just as casually, and the lawyer you recognize from when you first signed your contract crosses his arms from where he stands beside the desk.
“We’re both busy people with lots of things to do, so I’ll keep this short,” Tiger JK begins with an amused, close-lipped smile. “It’s already been two years since you first signed your contract with us. Time flies when you’re having fun, eh?” He chuckles to himself, then shuffles through papers on his slightly messy desk. He comes up with a single folder, and glances down at it briefly before he continues. “You’ve grown a lot in your time here so far; I think anybody can notice that. Everyone at TRC thinks we have a good thing going. If you stick with us, I think we can make it a great thing.”
It’s then that he slides stapled pieces of paperwork towards you: your new contract, specifically marked where each new signature is required.
tw: mention of punishment and negative thoughts.
two years became months, followed by weeks and days. but as the time kept ticking and the date grew closer, sowon wasn’t quite the same kim sojung that had entered trc for the very first time. she entered the company knowing she was skeptical but hopeful to see what trc had to offer. she hoped that maybe in those two years, she would find a job that she would love — something that would keep her financially stable. but like people have told her in the past, becoming a trainee would be a struggle financially and even more so when becoming an idol where success was determined by the music charts and numbers. it was a risk that many hopefuls would take for the sake of doing something they love or for fame and fortune and sowon took it — she took it because she needed it at a time when she felt so lost about what to do in life.
the weeks leading up to october 20 were difficult weeks for her. not only did she lose some of her closest friends in trc, but she felt that her doubts and insecurities grew even more than she ever experienced. seeing her friends leave made her think about the one question that she thought of when she first joined trc.
was it really worth signing the contract?
her future was even more uncertain in the recent days as the determination and motivation she had disappeared. the days started to feel like a monotonous routine — they would attend classes, give them a monthly evaluation, practice for the evaluation during that time (and any other additional performances they had to work at), show off whatever she learned in those weeks, and then receive feedback on what she needed to work on. unlike some of her peers, sowon really didn’t have much on what she would constitute as memorable during those two years. being a part of trc/g was a project that so many of the trainees would spend most of their lives on, but sowon had wasted it — she wasted it on letting her doubts get the best of her. back then, being a part of the trc/g project wasn’t so much a privilege for her but rather a burden. they were told that not everyone would debut and that only the best would shine, but she thought that she wasn’t the best and even until now, she felt that she wasn’t ready to debut. after all, as trc recruited more trainees who were far younger and more talented than her, the more she began to wonder if she truly deserved to be their sunbae.
when it was merely days leading up to d-day, sowon had to remind herself that she couldn’t bear to keep such thoughts and emotions to herself. she took her free time to talk to her loved ones about her situation. but for every time she had to confess her dilemma, sowon felt the confusion and pain even more. the advice that she received from others was different but out of all of them, the one that affected her the most was when she discussed it with her boyfriend. she knew him for so long and throughout the conversation, she noticed some of his nuances — the way he had phrased his questions or the fact that he wouldn’t give her direct answer no matter how much she tried. it was through these nuances that sowon could tell what he was trying to do. he didn’t want to give her the answer even when both of them knew it was obvious. the problem was that he trusted her judgement so much while she lacked the confidence to trust her own judgement.
now sowon was playing the waiting game. any time during the day, she would be sent to tiger jk’s office, but as to when it would happen, that was something that she couldn’t predict. sowon had entered the building early the morning with no sleep at all. while trc’s schedule did make it rather difficult for the trainees to get adequate hours of sleep, sowon felt quite restless due to the fact that she still couldn’t determine if she would even be offered a contract renewal in the first place. the thought about her messing up during the early stages of trc/g haunts her to this day, even when she thought that she had moved on from that event.
sowon watches the hands of her watch change every so often (probably more than she should have) before someone calls for her name. she looks up to see that it is a staff member and like always, sowon remains quiet as she follows along. there wasn’t much that was shared between her and the employee, but sowon could tell immediately that this was it. she was summoned to discuss and be reminded that today would officially mark the end of her two year contract. everything would be left to tiger jk, including whether he would renew her contract.
seeing tiger jk right in front of her was in some ways surreal. most of the trainees in trc have seen him personally. whether it was through their private auditions, contract renewals, or the mgas, they have seen him acknowledge their presence. but aside from the first triple threat challenge that she participated in, sowon never really saw the man in person in a setting like this where she is not being critiqued for her talent. her mind immediately thinks back to her nova audition and how instead of accepting that she was rejected by nova, she was told by a samsung representative that tiger jk had seen her performance during the hongdae talent show and wanted her to be in his company. it was the closest she could actually get to talking to him.
his demeanor didn’t change much since the first time she saw him during the triple threat challenge, but it was always a paradox that fascinated her about trc. many of their coaches and staff members were known to be strict towards their trainees (and sowon had her fair share of harsh punishments that she has seen or dealt with) but here she was in front of her boss who seemed so laidback and casual. the next person that sowon notices is the lawyer and as she looks at him, a part of her was tempted to joke about how she had seen the lawyer more than she had seen her boss.
taking a seat, sowon absorbs every action and word that transpires within the room. tiger jk had addressed the situation in a way that seemed foreign to her, mostly because during the time she had been in trc, people would perceive him as an intimidating individual — someone who the trainees rarely saw but when they did, he had such a strong presence that would attract everyone’s attention. but his lackadaisical mannerisms makes her even feel more conflicted. it was a habit of hers to mirror the other person based on their behavior, but in her mind, she was deciding between wanting to be serious and professional or easygoing and respectful.
“you’ve grown a lot in your time here so far; i think anybody can notice that.”
the words reverberate throughout the room and in her mind for sowon knew that she did grow over the course of two years, just like many others. however, while trainees were quickly growing and getting offers that they wished for, sowon felt that her growth was different. even after 730 days and a little bit over 20 monthly evaluations later, sowon could tell that her growth wasn’t so much on her talents (for she felt that no matter how many hours she would invest to training or worked harder than the rest of her peers she could never match them) but rather on herself as a person. some people would tell her that she did change — that she improved so much or that she really had so much potential on stage, but sowon couldn’t see it for months. her mind only had one goal in mind and that was to find something that would make her shine — something that none of the trainees could take away from her no matter what.
when the samsung new year show was announced and happened, sowon realized how the reason she couldn’t see it was because of her confidence. the number of times she would tell herself that she needed to work harder or that she wasn’t good enough caused her to think back about the sole reason that stemmed such thoughts and perceptions.
the fear of failure.
and being in a company that would only scout the best meant also being surrounded by people who were clearly in a higher caliber from her. add that even two years later, sowon was still reminded of the comment she heard from the nova representative back then as they told her that she had a ‘sweet voice’, but wasn’t suited for what nova wanted at that time. it would have been a complete lie if she didn’t even observe nova every so often and imagined how her life would have been if she was chosen by nova instead of the company she was in right now.
but in between all of the ‘what-if’s that lingers in her mind constantly, she shifts back to the present immediately when she catches his last statement to her before giving her the small stack of papers.
“everyone at trc thinks we have a good thing going. if you stick with us, i think we can make it a great thing.”
when tiger jk stops speaking, sowon’s mind is flooded even more with questions and doubts. she thinks about the trainees who have come and gone and their stories of this particular day, the day that they were offered a contract renewal. time and time again, she would hear about how nervous or anxious they felt leading to the day but once they heard the good news, they would sign the contract with so much hope and trust. but as sowon’s eyes slowly turn towards the paperwork, a thought comes to her mind.
why was she even more anxious and disappointed than before she stepped into the room?
perhaps she had expected it to be different — to line up with the imaginary scenario she replayed over and over again for the past few months. with her right hand, she takes the pen that is offered to her and she stares at it longingly as she remembers vividly the moment she was offered the same stack of papers and the emotions she had felt that day — curiosity, uneasiness, and surprise.
now, things were different. the pros and cons of her situation changed, she grew two years older, and met several people and saw them grow — some even debuted and became idols. she thinks of the days when she would try to introduce the new trainees with her infamous origami flowers as a welcoming gift and her unique way for people to remember her. not many people have asked her as to why she would take the time to create such a gift, but to sowon, it was more than just a gift — it was her way of showing how she genuinely cared about them and just like flowers, she wanted to see them grow and accomplish their own goals, whatever it was. it was why she took such pride with being trc’s visionary leader — she wanted to advocate and become someone that would help guide people to following their dreams. whether it was being their confidant or someone who would help them become a better performer, she wanted to pave the way and teach others that with hard work, resilience, and motivation, one can accomplish such goals.
however, this time around it wasn’t about other people that she had to guide or give advice to. it was her and for once, she had to decide what would make her happy and encourage her to become a better person. the pen touches the paper as she thinks about re-signing before she stops. a small yet incomplete line was drawn above the first signature line and as sowon lifts the pen, she looks at tiger jk.
“since we’re here, can i be honest about something?” sowon asks permission as if she’s asking for his approval but she doesn’t even wait for a confirmation before she continues to speak. “is it really true that anybody can see that i’ve grown within the past two years?” sowon throws the first question at him among the countless others that she wants to say at that exact moment. “because why is it that i can’t even see this growth that you are talking about? if growth is defined by my talent, why does it feel like no matter how much i try, i still won’t be good enough?” rather than sounding accusatory, sowon’s voice instead sounded soft and confused, almost as if she had been lost all this time.
“you are giving me this hopeful promise that if i sign my name—” sowon stops abruptly as she shakes her head to correct herself. “no, if i dedicated two more years of my life to this company, that we can do something great. but i already dedicated two years of my life trusting you and the company with that and what did i get in return? a chance to be in a debut project and to be a part of some dance performance that most people can’t even remember me for.” she lets out a scoff at her latter sentence as she places the pen away from the papers. her words so far could cause her even more trouble, but after all of the punishments that she had dealt with, she was certain that nothing was far worse than her sabotaging her self-esteem and confidence with her inner thoughts.
“i know,” sowon’s voice is more assertive this time around as she is clarifies, “you offered me a lifetime opportunity that so many people would love to have. the coach already told me back then that all she saw me back then was disappointment and i wouldn’t be surprised if you did either. but it’s been a year since that incident. i spent time on myself and working on improving to become a performer that you could be proud of, but what did i get? nothing. i knew i didn’t get anything and i didn’t complain because i had so much trust in you and this company. just like some of my peers, i quietly worked hard in hopes that one day, i would get some sign that you really want me in this company because i still don’t know why you were so interested in signing me back then during the hongdae talent show.” for every time she would hear how the trainees were scouted, a part of her thought that maybe, just maybe, she was a special case. however as time went by, she began to wonder if it was just her being optimistic and thinking she was special.
“did you sign me only to be one of those people who could be a part of trc/g?” she questions without giving much thought, even if the one she asked was something she had thought of recently. since the hongdae talent show until trc/g, sowon hadn’t experienced what trainees from other companies had. instead, sowon had to keep training quietly and while she had accepted it back then, now she couldn’t let her efforts be hidden once again.
“i was told by one of the coaches that i was a good singer and dancer, but was i really that good especially among trainees who had more experience and motivation to pursue that dream? did it have to take being kicked out of a debut project to even hear such a positive comment? do we have to suffer to even hear these kinds of comments? this is how trc runs, right? tough love to all of the trainees and when they suffered enough, they will hear a compliment from their coaches in hopes of bringing up their spirits?” an awkward yet forced chuckle comes out of her lips as she leaned back. “if my purpose in this company is only to fill up one of those coveted spots for a future debut project of yours, then why should i re-sign and watch two more years of my life fly by when you and your team already formed the best girl group?”
a part of her wants to hear from tiger jk his response, but with another glance at the contract, sowon was instantly reminded right then and there that everything was strictly business — she was just one of those trainees that trc could easily replace with someone who was far more talented, younger, and more determined than her. whatever she did in trc during those two years would be nonexistent to the trainees remaining in the company and the truth had hurt her more than she hoped for.
“yet amidst all of this,” sowon resumes speaking after a brief moment of silence. placing her hands on top of the papers, she gives him a smile. “i should also thank you for teaching me to be a stronger person…one who can now stand in front of you and say these words with confidence.” standing up from her seat, she continues on to speak, “i know i probably won’t get the answers to my questions from you because time is of the essence and you have so many other things to attend to, but if you truly care about me, a fellow ex-trainee, i might as well be honest and transparent and tell you the reasons behind my decision.” turning the folder to face towards tiger jk and the lawyer, she releases her hand away from it.
“you and i both know what this means and usually i would wish you and the company good luck, but i don’t think you need it when you’re so successful at what you do.” sowon stated out loud before taking a few steps back. for some people, being signed to a company and becoming an idol was an end goal — it was the ultimate dream that people wanted to accomplish. but for sowon, she thought about how her journey wasn’t exactly an end goal but rather a stopover. her ultimate goal was far more bigger and different than the one she felt trc would offer to her.
bowing her head for the last time, sowon ends her speech with a smile on her face, “instead, i will say thanks for giving me this opportunity and helping me arrive to this decision.” she exits out of the room slowly and when the doors close behind her, sowon exhales a breath. her title as one of trc’s public trainees was stripped away from her but in some ways, it felt quite liberating for her. it was as if she could continue living her life by pursuing the one dream that she wanted so badly and that was to create her own company and music.
OOC NOTE: First of all, congratulations to two years as a trainee! I know it’s been a long and crazy journey, and I’m so glad you’ve stuck through it. When you are ready, feel free to post this prompt with Sojung’s response to it.
Should Sojung choose to RENEW her contract with TRC, she will sign on to the same agreement as before for another two years. As a reward for making it this far, she will receive ONE WEEK unpaid vacation time to use any time between now the end of January, so long as it doesn’t clash with any special trainee activities.
Should she choose to REJECT her contract with TRC, she will leave the company, effective immediately upon rejection. She will be able to keep all of her debut points, but will not be able to take any trainee workshops or earn any more debut points/workshop points until she becomes a trainee again. She will not have any special advantage over newer characters when she auditions for other companies in the future, and should she become a trainee at a new company she will be considered a junior trainee all over again, even though she will still have her debut points and would be eligible for debut right away. She WILL have the right to audition for TRC again, but the fact that she gave up a contract renewal WILL be taken into account in final casting decisions.
She will have up to one week to make her decision IC, meaning that if she does not make a decision by October 26th, she will automatically be cut from the company. Exceptions can be made for those on hiatus.
“true~” yujin hums in a sing-song voice. “not that i need help remembering it, of course, but it’s not like other people remember it much, anyway,” she laughs with a tinge of sadness in her voice. it’s honestly fine, though, she’s gotten used to celebrating birthdays already, no need for more…
or so she says.
“honestly? though i feel like i’m dying a little more every day,” she shakes her head dramatically. “it’s surprisingly not as bad as you’d think, but still pretty bad considering i’m slowly failing classes among everything else,” she scrunches her nose, feeling a headache coming already as she remembers the amount of homework she has left. “when’s your birthday, though?” she asks with a tilt of her head and a smile.
“it’s that rare, huh?” maybe it shouldn’t be something she actively works towards, but it’s in her blood to seek validation where ever possible. “is it like this in every company?” or is it just a trc thing? she leaves the last part unsaid, though it’s obviously implied in the way she looks around them meaningfully. sometimes she wonders about her decision to go with trc, considering they’ve proven their reputation of being one of the toughest companies true. maybe life would’ve been easier if she had simply, turned the contract down and waited for some other chance instead…well, it’s too late to ponder on that anymore.
“there should be some new trainees coming in soon then, right?” she approximates a guess. “within like…a few months or something?” then she’ll shed her status of being a newbie trainee. heck yeah. “that is a while!” yujin blinks in surprise, though her tone holds more amazement than anything. “have things changed a lot since you joined?”
it was during instances like this that sowon wondered how her life would have been if she was a student and a trainee. she can only imagine the struggle of maintaining both and with a schedule like trc, doing anything else except those two seemed practically impossible. “if you ever need help with homework, i wouldn’t mind helping.” she offers the suggestion, more so because she feels that if she could help the trainees with even smaller things like tutoring, she would. the question causes her to ponder for those few seconds before telling her, “december seven, actually. it’s a couple of days away from christmas so that’s how people remember my birthday or so i’ve heard.”
while sowon compares trc and the other companies based on her observations, she thinks about how there was still so much that she didn’t know about the other companies. sure, she may know a few trainees from each of the companies but most of them she didn’t ask in-depth about how the companies treated their trainees. “i don’t think so. trc believes in the idea of tough love, so they will be harsh to you but they do it with a good intention in mind.” her mind immediately thinks of the few instances where she had experienced it and each time felt just as shocking as the first time she dealt with it.
nodding her head in agreement, sowon explains, “a few months is probably a good guess. usually they scout trainees during the summer from what i’ve heard. if they don’t, then they probably will near the winter season.” while she couldn’t pinpoint exactly the dates, she felt as if companies had a pattern as to when they would recruit more trainees. the question she hears afterwards is one that sowon could go on for ages on. but there was one obvious fact that she could reveal to yujin. “i definitely would say so, but part of it is because of k.arma. i trained with most of the k.arma members and i had a chance at debuting too.”
september evaluation / performance!
song: hard for me - cheeze
as she enters the room and gives her introduction, sowon expects the same process — sing another song and then receive comments on what she needed to work on for the upcoming months. it was the same continuous pattern, but when some of her closest friends had left their respective companies, it left her feeling lonely.
taking the microphone, she begins to re-listen to one out of the countless osts she had listened to in the past. while she could have spent this month singing a song associated with love or falling in love, she went with the opposite direction — one about how hard it is to forget someone. her voice is soft as she shows all of the emotions she had kept within herself through the song.
it’s hard for me to forget you
how can memory be easily forgotten
it’s hard for me to hate you
how do i hate you
when you turn around, there’s someone
who always thinks of you in the same way
as she switched between korean and english, sowon could feel the sadness amplified even more as she sung some of the lines in english. a part of her wished that she could be like some of the other people and forget that she had lost some friends along the way, but how could she when they were the same people she would see every day? they were the two that had seen her during her lowest moments and now without any of them to accompany her, she felt as if she was going on this journey to become an idol by herself.
don’t go
don’t leave me now
i’m not ready to let you go
too hard for me
too hard for me
too hard for me
it’s hard for me to forget you
as she began singing the higher notes, sowon could vividly remember the struggle that she had last month. with more and more trainees joining trc, it reminded her of the reality that she wanted to ignore at times — as more young and talented trainees joined, it added more pressure on people like her who needed to work just as hard to be as good as them. she thinks back about the conversations that she has had with some of the trainees and sadness fills the room as she sings about how she doesn’t want to let go — she didn’t want to forget them.
how can memory be easily forgotten
it’s hard for me to hate you
how can i hate you
she ends the song in english before taking a breath. sowon knows what to expect next, but as she finishes off another evaluation, so does the number of days that lead up to the end of her contract period.
for most people, this was another monthly evaluation for them but for sowon it wasn’t just another evaluation. so much had happened to her in the past few weeks and then there was the added realization that caused her to remain even more quiet and reserved than she had ever been since joining trc.
this could possibly be her last evaluation before her contract ends. almost two years had passed since she signed and she had joined trc with curiosity over why she was signed. whether she would receive a renewal offer afterwards was a mystery and one that scared sowon in some ways. to her, it was ultimately their way of showing whether they had seen sowon’s efforts pay off.
the theme for this month’s evaluation is one that would have caught her interest months ago due to the number of osts she had listened to in the past. there were some that she considers her favorites, but most of the songs she thought of singing had a message that she felt was hard to convey in front of the coaches. so she took the extra challenge by singing a song with a somewhat different message. but for each time she concentrated on the lyrics, a part of her felt sad as she thought about how trc had been nowadays. while there were people who were going about their daily life, sowon could feel the difference — she could feel the lack of presence with some of her peers as they disappeared and left trc. seeing somi and yuta both leave the company hurts her the most because she knew that no matter what she could tell them or do, they left for their own reasons — reasons that sowon might not ever get a chance to hear.
taking the sheet that contained lyrics of the song she plans to perform, she whispers softly to herself, “this is for all of you. i never got the chance to say thank you for being a part of my life.” closing her eyes tightly, she exhales a breath as she begins spending the rest of her night practicing the song to the best of her ability hoping that one day, she could sing the song confidently to them.
“first of september, actually!” yujin nods enthusiastically. it’s not soon enough for her to be overly excited about, but it’s one year closer to being an adult (and boy, can she not wait for that to roll around). “i don’t even know what i want for presents yet, but with how the schedule’s looking, maybe i should ask for energy drinks or something,” she jokes.
“that’s true,” she hums knowingly. looking around nervously for emphasis, she leans in closer to whisper, “their faces look the most intimidating. like oh my gosh, they just glare you down like you’ve killed someone or something.” she clears her throat as she moves back again, though it’s mostly for show. “i’ve even yet to receive a compliment from them…not that i’ve been looking for any,” her lips form a pout. “i guess i have that much to work on.”
“every couple of months, huh?” she enjoys being the focus of attention too much to entertain that thought, but it’s not like it’s up to her anyway. “how many people usually come in each time? two to three or something?” she asks out of curiousity, wondering how it’ll feel to be the more experienced one in the future. wow, ‘yujin-sunbaenim’…what a concept. “oh, right! also, how long have you been with trc?”
“oh that’s an easy way to remember your birthday.” she responds while feeling a bit relieved that it wasn’t in the middle of the month or some day in between. when she hears yujin’s suggestion, sowon couldn’t help but to chuckle over her choice. “but i can’t blame on you the energy drinks gift. i think it’s impressive how all of us seem to be doing relatively fine despite the fact that we don’t have as much free time and sleep compared to others.”
while sowon continues to listen, she couldn’t help but think back about the first time she was introduced to the trc/g project and how tense the environment was. to her, it was the first time she had ever met the higher ups and sowon could easily tell that their employees only expect the best and nothing short of it. “i’d like to believe that receiving a compliment from them is a rarity, but it’s a well-deserved one.” the older trainee explains as she thinks of the few instances when one of the coaches have given her a positive feedback. “so like you said, you need to work hard on it if you want to hear any of them say something positive about you.”
tilting her head, sowon thinks about the number of trainees she had seen in the past. “two or three is probably the average, but it depends. i believe prior to the triple threat challenge, they have only scouted one individual per event? they did scout about four from the last season of the mgas.” she ends her statement with a question as she tries to mentally recall who she had introduced herself to. blinking her eyes, she knows that what she is about to say makes her feel old, “about one and a half years. so i’m almost at the two year mark.”
one thing she was grateful for was that she had been at trc multiple times– so she was familiar with the company already, though they hadn’t allowed her to wander off. she found herself in the same practice room she had been in during the mgas. it was where she was the most comfortable but before she knew anything she heard a knock on the door.
her head snapped to the door that opened, her eyes widening as a female came in– ‘oh, she’s pretty,’ yeji thought to herself, ‘and tall…’ she was zonging out for a moment, still not used to the trainees knowing her name, “ah yes, i am yeji,” she lifted her brows. yeji’s eyes widen at the flower as she takes it, listening to the older, “in one of them?” yeji worried she would have to pluck the pedals but the other tells her the quote and she smiles.
“than you so much,” yeji smiles and smells the flower, “is tiger jk always so indecisive?” she asks jokingly but at the same time, she is serious remembering her previous experience auditioning for trc.
the question that she hears causes sowon to wonder immediately what brought it up. but as she thinks back about her personal experiences, sowon nodded her head in agreement. her scouting experience was still strange in some ways, but just like her, it made her unique. not many people have experienced such a story like hers, but each time she told it to someone, the reactions she would get was quite insightful to her. laughing softly, she admitted, “i’m not sure about if he’s indecisive all the time but it’s something that has happened a few times, i believe. i know for certain one could say he was indecisive when it came to offering me a contract.”
pausing for a brief moment, she retells her story. “i actually participated in the first triple threat challenge about two years ago. i didn’t get signed there but a few months later, i got signed thanks to another event that wasn’t even hosted by trc. i was offered to audition from nova, but trc wanted me so they offered me a contract right then and there. so i believe depending on the circumstances and what he sees, one could think of it that way.”
turning to look at yeji, sowon felt so inclined to ask the question. “if you don’t mind me asking, why? did you audition for trc before?”
he feels nervous when he wait for sowon to arrive, not that she makes taeyang uneasy but it’s ultimately the first time he intends to tell anyone about a special someone. it has been months since they started dating, and even longer since they first met. sowon was there, and although he promised to let her know what had happened, he never got the chance to. it has been busy these past months with the triple threat challenge, talking with jaehyun and the mgas. and just to top it all, taeyang has still been juggling work and studies, all the while trying to actually get to know his new girlfriend. he thinks it’s a poor excuse, but that’s how it has been.
when sowon arrive he notice her in the corner of his eyes almost immediately, it’s certainly too long between their meet-ups. “hey,” he repeats the greeting with a grin. “ah, don’t worry~ i just came not long ago.” curious as he is about these supposedly good drinks, he wonder what he should order for the evening as he decided earlier to wait for the other. “do you know what you want to order? do you have any recommendations?” considering it’s getting late he figure that caffeine isn’t necessarily the best idea. “ahh~ i’ve been really good actually. i’m a bit bummed that i didn’t make it to the semi-finals, but what can i do.” he chuckles softly. “and you?”
“i have somewhat of an idea.” sowon admits out loud, although the reason she says such words is because she was debating over a few choices. “well their best drinks are actually their lemonade. the first time i visited this place, it was one of those seasonal drinks but it became a favorite for so many customers that they decided to keep it all year round.” she explains while recalling any other drinks that she could think of on top of her head. while many of them were caffeinated drinks, she presumes that since it was already late afternoon that getting one wouldn’t be quite ideal.
glancing at him, she smiles while saying, “i would be bummed too since you were so close but i’m still proud that you got that far! i’ve heard that some of the people who got eliminated from that show end up getting contracts shortly afterwards. it’s strange how it works that way, but i guess they do it for ratings or a way to encourage them to work harder.” the older woman shrugs her shoulders as she thinks about some of the stories she has heard from the other trainees and their experiences with the mgas.
reflecting on the past few months, sowon knows that nothing much has happened to her. but there is one thing that has been on her mind quite often and that’s her contract. she laughs while answering his question, “nothing much, really. just the same old thing. practice until the company decides to reward you for your hard work. as you can see, your life is clearly a lot more exciting than mines.”
there were only a couple more minutes left and sowon wanted to try her luck in playing at least one game before leaving. with the lines getting relatively shorter compared to when she had arrived earlier, sowon knew that she had to arrive just on time before they would end the event for the day.
luckily, she is one of the few people left in the just dance booth, which causes her to feel a sense of pride and happiness knowing that she could at least try out one of the games. with the controller in her hands, she goes through the list of characters in injustice 2 before she concludes that she wanted to try out wonder woman. seeing who she was up against with, sowon had rather low expectations on herself. there was a high chance that the player next to her was really good at fighting games and sowon didn’t want to take the match too seriously. when the match began, sowon did what she would normally do in any fighting game — smash a series of buttons and hope that whatever moves wonder woman made, it would work. the first round ended rather quickly with sowon losing, followed by her recovery when she won the second match. the third round took twice as long as the previous rounds that by the time she realized that she had won, her eyes widen in surprised.
“it was a nice fight.” sowon stated out loud as she bows her head slightly. while she was certain that she won mostly by pure luck rather than by strategy, she wanted to take the victory in as something she was proud of. placing the controller back where it belonged, sowon had left the place feeling the sense of pride and happiness knowing that the day ended on a rather good note.
a couple of minutes pass and sowon looks around to see where she was currently. with so many people attending the event, it was rather difficult for her to spot anyone that she knew. a part of her wished that she had sent a text message to some of her friends to see if they were attending the event, but she didn’t want to interrupt them if they wanted to spend it with someone else. when she was about to look for one of the employees, she instead spots a fellow individual who seemed to be watching one of the players. if there was one thing that sowon was quickly noticing from the event, it was that there were so many people who took gaming seriously to the point that there were some professional gamers around.
curious to see if he knew exactly what was going on, sowon taps on his shoulder lightly. “hey,” she starts off before looking back at the scene in front of them. “do you know what is going on or what game they’re playing?” she asks, hoping that he knew what was going on.
he’s been here for a while now, not wanting to go home just yet. there isn’t much to do, considering he’s rubbish at video games aside from just dance and he’s already decided not to participate in that one. he had managed to run into a few friends already, stopping to watch some of them play before heading on his way, wanting to explore the general area and see what else there was. he had seen the ads for the injustice tournament too, and had wandered over to watch for a while. he would never be able to keep up if he was the one behind the controller, so he genuinely finds this kind of impressive. no wonder professional gaming was a decent career choice nowadays – this was pretty impressive.
not really paying attention when the girl next to him shifts, and promptly bumps into him, hyunggu’s eyes widen slightly and he also bows his head in a quick apology. hearing the question has him glancing up and he nods, laughing as well. “yeah! you’re a trc trainee, right?” he keeps his voice low, unsure of who was a public trainee or not – he doesn’t want to get into needless trouble. “fancy seeing you here~”
“yeah, i’m a trc trainee.” the words came out of her lips with such ease but it still felt a bit strange that even after eight months of being a public trainee, it still felt foreign to her. with the announcement of trc’s girl group, sowon was brushed aside rather quickly from the public and it was fine with her. after all of the time she had spent being a private trainee, she was already used to trc’s way of handling their trainees. “i heard that you got scouted to uh…” sowon says out loud, thinking of which company it was. ever since the finale of the mgas, sowon had heard of where some of the contestants were signed to, but whether they accepted it or not was a bit of a mystery for her (except the ones who got signed to trc).
“sphere, right?” she asks for clarification, hoping that she had gotten it right. if she didn’t, she was going to ask her boyfriend who they actually signed at some point. “it would have been nice if tiger jk offered you a contract like some of the members in your team so then you could all be together. i hope sphere has been treating you well though. i’ve heard some great things about that company.” sowon admitted out loud, for she felt while hoping that he didn’t feel sad over the thought that he had been signed elsewhere. realizing that she was too busy thinking about the mgas, she shifts topics momentarily, “oh! i forgot to introduce myself, i’m sowon. it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
once sowon had entered inside the mall, she was surprised by how crowded the event was. while she wasn’t quite an avid gamer, she didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to have some fun by playing games and donate something to charitable organizations. as she walks through the area to see which one was the busiest (for she wanted to avoid them in the meantime), she catches a glimpse of the injustice 2 tournament that is going on. amazed by the match she was seeing, sowon had spent those few minutes grasping the mechanics of the game. it didn’t take long before the match had ended and when the winner of the round was announced, sowon decided it was time to move to another spot.
unaware of the person next to her, she had made a quick turn and bumped into him causing her to feel embarrassed by her actions. “ah! sorry about tha—” sowon wanted to apologize immediately for what she had done before she catches a glimpse as to who she had bumped into. the mgas was a recent event where so many of the contestants were offered contracts from the big five companies. sowon laughs softly as she asks him, “oh hey, didn’t i just see you earlier in seocho?”
there were days like this where sowon would take a bit of her free time to hangout with her friends and while it had been months since their last encounter, sowon figures that today would give them to catch up and also for her to know the answer to her question. with her phone in one hand, she knows that she only has a few minutes to arrive at her destination, which was a café that was somewhat near the trc building. once she enters the café, she hears the bells ring from above her before she began her search to find him. luckily there weren’t that many people in the café, which made it easier for her to spot the other person.
heading towards where the empty seat was, she placed her bag nearby before sitting down. looking at him, she said out loud, “hey, i hope you didn’t wait too long. this was the first place i could think of where we could meet. it does have some really good drinks though.” she chuckles softly for she knew that this was one of her favorite cafés within the area. after a brief pause she then asks him, “how have you been since the mgas?”
Whenever Yuta usually spat about how people didn’t know him and didn’t understand, he expected the typical exasperation and for them to give up. The truth was, it was set up that way and he’d played it out enough times in relationships and friendships, that rarely anyone questioned him anymore. His past was a secret for a reason; Yuta didn’t want anyone to know who his parents were or what life he came from. He didn’t want them searching up his mother and finding out what she did, the kind of movies she acted in; how she was. He didn’t want them realising his father was rich, that he lived a better life than most of those around him. But more than that, he didn’t want them to look past his talent, towards his parents and think everything he had was given to him, bought, spoon fed to him with silver.
For a second, he considers it, telling Sowon. It’s the overwhelming record of history that tells him that he shouldn’t. No one could be trusted with his secrets, they’d let them spill by accident or on purpose. He shakes his head.
[...]
sowon remained in a contemplative state as she listens to the story. while she understood that yuta’s life was indeed complex and messy, she also felt something unusual — almost as if the thought or act of revealing his family would do more damage than she imagines. “alright, alright. that’s your limit so i won’t ask more regarding your family history.” sowon states out loud, mostly for her to acknowledge that what was revealed to her were the only details she knows. anything else would be a mystery and she had to accept it.
the story continues on and as more details are added, sowon blinks her eyes in surprise. “ah, i see.” her words are meek and soft but in her mind, she tries to grasp everything. the situation itself wasn’t a common one that people would tell to others, but it did leave her feeling like she needed to give him some sort of advice that would solve his problem. however, the problem was that yuta had to solve it himself. she could only ask him questions that would lead him to whatever he thought the best solution was. “you would rather go home to japan? you wouldn’t try auditioning for trc again if it were to happen?” sowon questions, even though she is well aware that getting scouted by the same company after getting rejected was slim.
“you and i know quite well that trc cares so much about performance and whether you are even worth their money. but if a company that i liked so much kicked me out because of my behavior and actions, i would tell them my side of the story first. if they still think i deserve to be kicked out after that, then i’d find a way to show them that they made a big mistake. i’d work so hard that trc would want me back.” sowon said with conviction as she looks at yuta. “if you were to get a renewal contract and you became an idol, do you think trc would still remember this moment?” sowon asks as a thought comes to her mind and one that she could relate to. they emphasized the negative events that happened in trc and as a result, it led them to situations like this when the thought of being kicked out was terrifying.
“you can make so many mistakes, but the question i would like to ask you is…” sowon trails off as she exhales a breath. the words that were about to come out of her lips had a greater effect than she thought, “did you learn something valuable from those mistakes?” standing up from her seat, sowon takes a few steps to the side before she tells him, “because people make mistakes, it’s part of life. but learning from them and doing what you can to avoid making the same mistake again is the harder but more rewarding part.” as she stands still, she finds it ironic how she is here telling yuta the advice that she had been trying to accept months ago — the thought that one mistake wasn’t the end of the world.
sowon chuckles softly as she admits out loud, “the yuta i know would do and say things impulsively but he’s also the one that i believe is one of the resilient people in trc. someone could tell him he was horrible at something and while he might not be happy with such words, he would still do his best to improve so he can prove them wrong. where is that yuta? because what i see right now is someone who is scared over the thought that he’ll be kicked out of trc and his dreams will be shattered all because of an event.”
dededos
jbbartram-illu
dailybridgerton
origamiaround
areudirty
vaporwave
