holey moley, me oh my, you're the apple of my eye.

The only way out is through.

[roarofmysilence]

I love being a mom.

[cardboardlife]

Is it springtime now?

[angry-comics]

[angry-comics]

i see u all have once again discovered Lake

[angry-comics]

folks have been asking what book this is from or what show or movie or interview. it is an interview i made up in my brain and not one that happened in other media. i wrote it and drew it

[roarofmysilence]

About a month ago, I made the decision to stop being so cranky. I was tired of yelling at my toddler and being passive aggressive towards my husband. My husband had started saying stuff like, “I’m so sorry, are you mad at me?” In a very anxious way. I don’t want the other adult I live with to be afraid of me. I’ve been in that position, being constantly afraid the person is mad at you, and it’s very toxic. I also don’t want my kids to grow up seeing me as an angry person. My mom was always very angry and short-tempered.

So I just stopped. I am actively trying to be nicer and not sweat the small stuff. I’m noticing that my husband is being nicer back. Not that he was mean. But he’s just warmer towards me now. My son is, too. And the nicer I am, the better they act, too. It’s like drawing more bees with honey than vinegar, I think. If you can’t ever make a person happy, you’ll stop trying. I didn’t want to cause so much damage to these relationships when I love these people so much.

[goth-queen]

[roarofmysilence]

We’ve been sleeping in our living room for over six months because we have too many kids.

I keep a vibe or two in my bedside drawer. I’m an adult, ok???

Normally our kids don’t go in my drawer but today my 3 year old pulled out my lemon-shaped silicone vibrator.

My husband texted a pic, “should he have this in his mouth?”

I can’t wait to have a bedroom again 😭

[roarofmysilence]

If my husband asks me one more time what date we are moving, I’m filing for divorce.

[roarofmysilence]

I’m officially down 47 pounds 🙌

Started 277 today 230 tomorrow the world

[roarofmysilence]

We showed our house on Saturday to four groups of people and got an offer for $15k over asking on Sunday. I’m so relieved because I was anxious we’d have two mortgage payments for a couple of months. Plus we’ll walk away with a profit of around $60,000, amazing.

We move March 24th. Then we close on the selling of our house on April 3rd.

I will be so glad to have it all done! Getting out of the house for showings and the inspection is very hard with all three kids. And cleaning is also difficult. I was up past midnight most of last week, deep cleaning grime.

Plus packing and throwing stuff out and organizing movers. And finding people to watch our kids on moving day. It’s all a lot.

[roarofmysilence]

We close on our new house on Friday and move next month.

I feel very proud and accomplished.

7 years ago, I was moving out of the house I’d purchased with my ex and technically I was homeless. I squatted in my mom’s abandoned hoarded house. I had lost everything.

Then I moved in with my husband, who owns the house where we live now.

Now I make enough money to buy a bigger house for our family so we can really start our lives.

I did this. I grew these children. I went to therapy. I got well. I took the medications. I found a great partner and nurtured our relationship. I applied for jobs. I interviewed and I got a really great job. I cut out unhealthy relationships. I stopped drinking. I stopped wishing I was dead. I saved money and budgeted. I did all of this. I’d like to thank me. I drowned for YEARS and now I’m doing it, I’m here, I made it out.

[roarofmysilence]

I’m officially 40 pounds down! From when I actually started trying to lose weight.

The day before the babies were born I was 310.

Then I had them and deflated, down to 277.

Today I am 237.6.

First goal weight is 200, and then we’ll see how I’m feeling.

Ultimate goal is to have a “mommy makeover” and remove extra skin and lift my boobs.

Thank goodness for GLP1s.

[creepymutelilbugger]

[sighinastorm]

uh, source?

[frowningfox]

Source:

[roarofmysilence]

The only notable things that happened in my life in 2016 were that I had an abortion and Trump was elected president. I don’t get the 2016 nostalgia??

[roarofmysilence]

I am not puking anymore today but I still feel terrible. I lost 4 pounds 💅

Orchard is not throwing up anymore either but he’s really tired and grumpy/sad.

What a terrible week.

[roarofmysilence]

Now it’s my turn and Orchard’s turn to be sick. We’re the last ones. Ugh.

[roarofmysilence]

This week has been TERRIBLE.

Last Friday we put an offer on a house and it was accepted. Woo hoo!

Then on Saturday, River started throwing up. Still puking Sunday. We kept him home for 2 days from school. On Wednesday, when it was time to go back to school, total meltdown. This is unusual for him but he also really hates mornings and getting out of bed (same).

As I was wrestling with him on Wednesday and changing his clothes after he immediately peed out of his clean diaper, which he did while having a meltdown on the kitchen floor, my husband was getting the twins up, only to find that Flora had been sick during the night.

She puked a couple of times and napped really well but would NOT go to sleep last night. She was up until 11 pm.

Today my husband is feeling sick, which of course automatically irritates me. But it might actually be genuine this time so I’ll allow it.

On Monday, my nephew was admitted to an inpatient psychiatric hospital because of something he told his therapist. I don’t know exactly. He’s 13 and has been struggling. I had to help out my sister take care of her other kids while she and her husband took care of that. I’m worried sick over him. I wanted to visit him tonight but I don’t know if that will happen with Connor being sick.

And this is minor, relatively, but we’ve been battling with River’s school bus company because they just come whenever they want to pick him up and if you’re not ready, they leave. Randomly they just change the pickup time and then act like it’s our problem. I had to drive him to school today. I sent an angry email to the school district person in charge of transportation and complained to the bus company, but no one typically cares. It’s incredibly frustrating.

Our house is a MESS and I’m OVERWHELMED. Also I had to call a million people this week for buying the house and scheduling things and paying money for good faith deposit and earnest money and the inspection and the appraisal.

And I’m getting my period next week so I’m NOT in a good mood.

[roarofmysilence]

Having flashbacks to 2020 with all of these shootings. I don’t like it.