Long before the finale aired and after the news of its shortening, I wondered how, with such a running time, they could rationalize why Metatron chose Aziraphale, a traitor to heaven, to be the Supreme Archangel.
It would seem the most obvious option, the one that immediately came to Aziraphale's mind, was Michael. But no, he chose the most unreliable and untrustworthy angel among the Supremes of heaven, the one who breathed fire in their faces and went against the "Great Plan." Both Aziraphale and Metatron understand that this is a foolish decision from a strategic standpoint.
This is why Aziraphale is so tense and scared - he doesn’t understand what’s going on in Metatron’s head, what he wants from him and what he has planned.
And that, as far as I'm concerned, is the BIGGEST and DUMBEST plot hole in the entire movie, which makes absolutely everything that happens make absolutely no sense. I have no idea if Metatron's motives were explained in the original script (obviously, in a full-fledged third season, he would likely be the antagonist or something like that, at least not the most likable character), but if so, they somehow cut this out of EVERYTHING that could have been cut.
This is the question they had to answer, because without answering it, everything else that happens becomes a farce that only happens because the writers want it to happen.
I just wanted Aziraphale to be happy and loved as himself. That's it. I don't see why that was asking too much of Good Omens 3. I wanted him to finally get to live freely and happily with his beloved as he deserved. He fought like mad to do the right thing, and he earned his happily ever after.
It began as "what if Aziraphale came back sooner, what if I changed just that one thing?"
It started there but it's become a conversation and a response to the parts of the finale that don't ring true for me. (For example in Chapter 8 you can hear The Metatron pitch to 'reboot the universe' and hear Aziraphale and Crowley's thoughts on that idea)
In this chapter you can enjoy glimpses of love-drunk Aziraphale and Crowley and watch as the forces of Heaven and Hell come crashing back into their lives.
If GO3 left you feeling wounded I would like to speak very highly of re-writing it for yourself. We own this story and it is ours to create.
Rating: Mature
Thank you to my betas @angie-words @bohoteacher @enby-xb-nomad and my writing communities @whickberstreetwriters and @goodomensafterdark
If there are still people who believe that Aziraphale's original motivation was to "change heaven" and "do the right thing" (like save the earth), and that he really wanted to return to heaven... AZIRAPHALE SAID THE OPPOSITE WITH HIS OWN FUCKING MOUTH.
HE LITERALLY SAID "I don't want to go back to Heaven"
There's no subtext, he literally says he doesn't want to return!
Actually, if you think about it that way, this scene is really strong. In terms of Aziraphale's development as a character. He literally told METATRON to his FACE that he did not want to return to heaven because there would be no earthly joys that were dear to him (not literally coffee, because he does not drink coffee, but coffee symbolizes freedom + earthly joys to which he is attached). He openly admitted it in front of METATRON.And before that, he told Metatron, "There's no point in discussing anything. I've already made my position clear." Oh, my brave, incredible angel...
He only gave in when it came to Crowley and his safety.
I hate how the finale completely forgot about Aziraphale's original motivation - to protect Crowley. Aziraphale didn't realize that the second coming was coming until he entered the elevator. Before that, his motivation was to protect Crowley at all costs until they could figure out what was going on. Yes, the news about the second coming played a role in his motivation - he couldn't let the planet burn down. But that wasn't his original motivation.
There's a kernel of something that really could have been something in Crowley's question to God, Why do you make people and then punish them for being people?
First, the answer is that they have free will (already) and God isn't controlling their choices, so humans just receive the consequences of their actions.
Second, this is the core of the real problem imo with the GO universe: not that people are people but that they suffer or are rewarded for *eternity* based on the actions in their human life. The problem is not the interference, which, when we see the Godless universe, barely made a single difference between the two Earths. The problem is that human souls are doomed to an afterlife of the kind of sameness that Crowley and Aziraphale are terrified of in GO1. An eternity of being eaten by spiders, an eternity of watching The Sound of Music forever: it sucks! And even if you were the very worst person in Hell, even if you argue that person deserves it, does everyone who is there deserve this same treatment? Doesn't every horrible person have a moment of goodness, and every good person a moment of evil? Humanity lives in the shades of gray!
The Good Place did a great job of solving this exact problem by giving souls multiple go-rounds and that's kind of what I was expecting when Crowley asked that question, but instead they focused on the cheap distraction of free will.
So on the one hand, they did solve the real problem, because in the Godless universe there's no Heaven or Hell, but on the other hand, they could have solved that problem in a thousand different ways in the original universe. They could start by locking the Pearly Gates, for one.
The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?
Good Omens was such a slam dunk of a best love story of all time.
I think it might be rooted in the fact that it wasn't originally written as an obvious love story, but it slotted easily (some might even say perfectly) into that genre when it was nudged in that direction.
It should have been enemies to lovers, except Crowley and Aziraphale were so compatible they just immediately dropped the enemies part in every way except for keeping up appearances. And it was the slowest of slow burns because they both knew that was the only way they could be together on Earth as themselves.
But the story! More than 6000 years of just... existing as close to each other as they possibly could while also staying safe. All of human history while they pined and made dangerous personal choices to keep each other from danger. And then they saved the world together, even though they weren't very good at it overall, they tried very hard the whole time and they did what needed to be done in the end. And they each went in the place of the other to what should have been their deaths and they came out the other side finally free to explore what it could mean for them to really be together.
Not only is it a glorious setup, it can also be read in so many different ways. Ace? Yes. Gay? Yes. Something else that can't be defined? Yes. Platonic? Yes. Boiling over with barely restrained sexual tension? Yes. Good Omens was one of the most representative friendly depictions of love in modern media. The type of thing that's incredibly difficult to set out to do on purpose from the very beginning because usually the hand of the author makes it all feel too contrived.
But some gritty realist didn't see the love between Crowley and Aziraphale for the gift that it was. He thought it would be a more interesting option to have them fall out of love over the course of a single conversation. I'll be the first to admit there were cracks in their relationship prior to the final 15 (lord knows I've written fanfic about it), but I'll never believe that those cracks, most of which were necessitated by their inability to express their feelings freely until after season 1 because of the threat of being found out, could ever outbalance everything else that they had together, everything they felt for one another for so, so long. In the moment that it was happening would it be enough to form a rift? Yes. Permanently? No! Of course not!
But we're supposed to believe that neither of them ever had enough of a moment of regret or doubt or loneliness that they were willing to suck it up and reach out for any reason? Not even to check in? Not even to say, 'hey, I think we might have misunderstood each other fundamentally and in the heat of the moment, I hurt you in ways I never wanted to see you hurt and it's brought me nothing but pain every moment since...'?
We're supposed to buy that they both agreed to willingly walk into the very depths of Heaven/Hell for each other on the assumption that they correctly predicted how their sides would try to kill them, but if they had been wrong, they would have been forced to endure whatever alternate punishment had been devise, but talk through their issues? Oof, no thanks.
So, instead of exploring how they could still find a way back to each other and repair that damage in season 3, the answer is cease to exist. With the honest-from-god promise they would not be made new in any way, shape, or form on the new, godless Earth they requested but had no way to confirm was actually made. And never once did they stop to think that both of their lives were better when they existed with the understanding that nearby each other might be the best they'd ever get?
It could have been something incredible. It should have been a shining beacon of comfort and hope. It would have stood the test of time and been talked about for the rare, positive depiction it was. But I guess happy endings and true love stories just aren't worth writing for some people.
Apparently, I'm still more than just a little bit miffed about all of this.
Summary: Crowley runs a café; Aziraphale is his new neighbour, setting up a bookshop across the street. From the minute he sees Aziraphale, Crowley's falls hard. Actually asking Aziraphale on a date turns out to be more of a challenge than it first looks, but Crowley's not giving up yet... A fluffy meet-cute with a little reveal at the end 💜
Excerpt:
Eyes round, Aziraphale gratefully took the offered pastries with a pleased hum. “That’s so nice of you!”
Crowley rolled his eyes playfully and tutted. “Not nice, not nice at all.”
Raising a mischievous eyebrow, Aziraphale softly smiled and looked Crowley up and down. “Well, rather more than nice, then.”
Crowley’s brain stuttered to a halt. Was…was Aziraphale flirting? Was that what those sparkling eyes meant? Or was it just the effect of the overhead lights? Was he interested too? Say something, say something, his brain protested. “Uh, maybe we should swap numbers—” Crowley mumbled, but Aziraphale was already striding towards the exit. “Ta-ta for now, and hopefully see you again soon!”
The door closed behind Aziraphale with a firm thud, one that wasn’t half as loud as the ones pounding through Crowley’s chest. When he finally recovered, he gulped, but made a determined vow: he was abso-fucking-lutely going to ask Aziraphale out.
Continue on AO3 ☕
Thanks so much to @rofell and @sakascal for their stellar help beta reading! Thanks also to @goodomensafterdark and @whickberstreetwriters for their support 💜
Season 2, 3 and the Resurrectionists minisode all follow the same broad structure:
Aziraphale is presented with a problem, and tries to help (saving Elspeth’s soul, helping Gabriel, stopping the apocalypse)
Crowley passively observes and follows Aziraphale. In s3 and the Resurrectionists, he also criticises Aziraphale’s actions.
Aziraphale’s plans don’t work out particularly well (Wee Morag dies, the archangels/demons end up in the bookshop threatening war because he uses his halo, Michael destroys the universe).
Crowley steps in at the last moment and saves the day (saves Elspeth, visits Heaven and finds out what happened to Gabriel, resets the Universe)
Aziraphale and Crowley are punished (Crowley dragged to Hell, Aziraphale gets promoted, they die).
The reason this narrative structure is unsatisfying isn’t because Aziraphale makes mistakes. Characters are supposed to do this. The real problem, and what causes the imbalance between Aziraphale and Crowley, is that Crowley doesn’t do anything for most of it.
Crowley’s passivity throughout is then what causes Step 4 (Crowley saves the day) to become a problem. He hasn’t done anything to deserve being the hero of the story.
Why, in a minisode where Aziraphale learns about shades of grey, is it Crowley who steps in to save Elspeth and suggests Aziraphale give her money?
Why, when it is Aziraphale who wants to help Gabriel and looks for clues, is it Crowley who goes to Heaven and learns why Gabriel has lost his memories?
Why, when it is Aziraphale who has spent three lonely years as Supreme Archangel, is it Crowley who pushes the idea to reset the Universe? (Note: I hate this as an ending, but we are supposed to think this is a good sacrifice).
Season 1 works because they are both active in the story, they both make mistakes, and they both get a moment to shine in the confrontation at the airbase. And they then avoid the punishment because they work together.
I'm so very tired of the fact that GO3 has solidified the idea that Aziraphale was a fool to try and make a difference. Why the hell was Crowley and his cynical pessimism the moral winner of this story? What happened to hope? Goodness? The will to keep trying even when odds are stacked against you?
All this finale has done is make the idea of fighting for what you believe in not just a bad one, but a stupid one. Apparently Aziraphale was wrong to try. I cannot stand that. He made a difference. He halted the Second Coming. It was Michael and their free will that destroyed the Universe.
I'll never get over THIS look on Aziraphale's face.
"Is that really possible? I can love Crowley and still get a happy ending? I can show that I love him? I can look at him like that, hold his hand like that... We really have a chance?"
ineffable smut and other things @rofell - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
