warnings: fem!reader, hurt/comfort, unestablished relationship, reader gets hurt obvi, blood mention, spoilers for dilucs back story, love confession, uh i dont think anythink else but please let me know if i missed anything!
amazing wonderful inspired art by bobaboob<3
it was by chance, and a bit of yearning that he so easily crumbled to, that diluc had joined you on your commissions today and the deeper you made it into this eerie domain full of lurking monsters and cobwebs, he’s thankful he had listened to the heart within his chest that longed to see you after many busy days at the winery and his gut feeling that it had to be today of all days.
he trusted your strength, knew you were capable but there was something about this place that had all of his senses on high alert and the vision hanging from his belt glowing bright red in waiting anticipation. but he kept close to you, never letting you farther than arm's reach and too distracted by his need to protect you, he hadn’t noticed the way the proximity affected you.
this close, the familiar scent of him wrapped around you and made your entire body burst with heat. when you look up at him, seeing the sharpness of his ruby eyes, his brows set in stern seriousness and his bright mane of hair spilling over his back, butterflies in your chest beat against your rib cage and you feel yourself falling for him even more.
sensing your eyes on him, with a blink of thick lashes, he looks down at you and heat instantly rushes to your face at the fond look he gives you; so incredibly soft compared to the ever stoic master diluc most saw. you both break the brief eye contact, full of palpable silence, at the same time. the red leather of dilucs gloves flash in your side view, further covering his face with a quiet clear of his throat and the stiffening of his body still so close to yours.
“keep your guard up,” he reminds you, direct as he usually was but there’s no harshness in his tone. “and stay close to me.”
without looking back at him, you do. shifting an inch or two closer in steps, enough so that his hand that had been stretched close to you for a while now was now hovering over your lower back, the tips of his fingers grazing your skin ever so slightly in his long strides. it made your heart beat wildly, the significance of his touch never ceased to help that at all.
you know he didn’t willingly touch many, if anyone at all, and you knew he certainly didn’t need to be this close to you now. the space of the gray and cold domain around you was large, almost scarily so, with pitch black corners not revealing any end to the room, the floor disappearing into the dark depths. the stairs that you approached were easily wide enough to fit more than five people, the descent downward flickering with pale light, but here he was, so close he could easily pull you into him if he wanted. and he had been nearly this close since meeting you at the adventurers guild kiosk this morning.
not that you were complaining. never when it came to diluc. it wasn’t all that unusual for him to be like this with you either. your touch and proximity had never seemed to bother him but you had always moved at his pace even if at times, much like this one, you wished to reach up and touch his porcelain skin. let your fingers get lost in his crimson locks or caress the curve of his jaw, the delicateness of his pink lips, maybe even ki-
suddenly, without warning, your distracted thoughts are cut off and all you can do while you try to figure out what’s happening is to reach for the strong arms extended out to you. your heart felt like it stopped completely, your breath caught in your throat. dilucs worried yell of your name echoes in your ears, like you had never heard him say before, and as with him now above you rather next to you, you realize you’re falling. no longer on solid ground, the stairs that once held you had crumbled under your feet as if they were made of sand.
you hadn’t heeded his full reminder to keep your guard up, still so very distracted by his handsomeness and your long held off affections, that you hadn’t noticed the weakness of the stone until you were already falling with them, the distance of your descent unknown to you. diluc had tried to catch you and pull you up but when he could not, though he still ensured he got ahold of you in some way, he didn’t hesitate to jump in and fall with you.
with more force than he would have normally used with you he grabs ahold of your upper arm, ensuring there was no way you’d slip from his grasp, and with his strength pulls you against his chest. your vision is taken over by the gold stitching of his black coat and the contrasting white vest that he presses you against as you fall through the air. your hands hold onto him tightly while one of his wraps around your head and the other keeps you firm against his body.
your world is turned upside down when mid air diluc turns so it was him who took the brunt of the fall, and your entire weight on top of him, as you crashed onto the ground. he let out a choked down grunt upon meeting the hard stone after falling for what felt like quick and yet somehow slow seconds.
you wished that had been the end of it, that you could have gotten up and checked on him and made your way out of this place, not making the same mistake you had of letting your feelings get the better of you and draw your attention from your surroundings. not if it would mean diluc getting hurt. but even with the impact of both of you crashing into the ground you continued to tumble down, steep and thin steps carrying you deeper and deeper into the unknown.
dilucs arm around your head is strong but not crushing as he tucks you into his chest more, his broad shoulders and flexed arms encasing you against him as best he could while he tries to slow your bumpy descent. even with his heavy scent enveloping you, the damp and mildewy air felt suffocating, sickening. you hardly feel much of the stairs aside from the non-stop jostling of your body and legs and the spinning of the world but your own discomfort was the last thing on your mind right now.
it's a few more painfully long moments before you hit a platform and are stopped from moving any farther in the middle of it. the arms around you are hesitant to remove themselves and for a moment, they don’t. dilucs chest under your head rises with deep breaths, his heart pounding in your ears and in the quiet where only your breaths fill the place, he just holds you. you let the hints of wine, oak and bergamot fill your noise, calm your anxious heart and had you wishing it was a far more ideal situation that would lead you to laying with him like this.
not now. every nerve in your body tingled, screamed those words and nearly brought you right to your feet. when you shot up, met with little resistance from his arms, your legs now straddling his middle, diluc immediately began to worry you were hurt.
“are you alright?” he asks urgently, his hands now holding onto your hips to help you fully off of him so he could examine you properly. they don’t leave you as he checks you over. his heart was racing frantically at the thought that he might have let you get injured, his eyes dark and full of kindling fire as he looks you over from the moment you parted from his chest.
he didn’t see any visible injuries on you but he hardly believed you were okay just because you looked it. his own body ached from each harsh hit of stone and carved corners, not that he paid it any mind right now, but what if what he had done to try to lessen your damage wasn’t enough.. you hadn’t even answered his question yet and when he brought his eyes to your face, his concern grew when you were looking in the distance rather than at him.
dammit, he needed to get you both out of here.
“something’s not right..” you mumble, though it was more like you were talking to yourself than him.
“with you?” he asks more harshly than he meant to, his grip on you growing tighter. the pressure must have broken your attention, as you finally look at him like you hadn’t said something alarming or haven't been unresponsive to his words till now. “what’s wrong?” he urged.
“are you hurt?” you ask, your voice shaking with worry. he had a pained look on his face that made your heart throb, made you want to cry because this had been all your fault. if you had just paid attention to your surroundings and taken your steps more carefully you might not be in this situation and he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. “i’m so sorry diluc..”
you hadn’t heard any of his questions before. and as much as you worried for him, wanted to be sure he was okay, from the moment you stood all you could focus on was the unfamiliar space around you. you were not entirely sure what was not right, it wasn’t your physical state and by the stillness of the room it didn’t seem as though you were in any immediate danger but you can’t shake this indescribable feeling coursing through your veins. like celestia and the universe itself was telling you something but you couldn’t begin to discern their message.
he saw the worry behind your eyes, felt his heart ache at your saddened expression, and with his emotions on high, could not hold back from his next actions like he normally would have. you often had him wanting to act on the wishes of his heart, the heart that you invaded the walls of and held in your hands even if you didn’t know it. sometimes he had given in, much like now, caressing the skin of your cheek with his fingers delicately, unable to take his eyes off of you, showing you a much softer side of him than he showed most. one he hadn’t had in a long time, one he lost, but came back so naturally when it came to you.
“it’s okay. i am okay” he promises. “please y/n..” he needed you to say it outloud. he needed to hear it to know for sure. “are you okay?”
you nod to assure him, unable to lean into his touch like you might have were the air not prickling every nerve of your skin.
his knitting brows, sharpening eyes and growing frown tell you he hadn’t believed you and to avoid his scrutinizing gaze, you look away. as your eyes fall to the corner of the platform and you see a flicker in the deep shadows, you finally begin to understand what had kept you so uncomfortable since falling down here and that it was too late to stop it now.
the amount of strength that you used to push him was more than he had expected from you. it came so suddenly too, he hadn’t been able to brace himself in time or even grab ahold of you to pull you down with him because just as quickly as your hands met his chest and felt his heart nearly jump from his chest, he hit the ground for the umpteenth time today.
there wasn’t any time to think about what was happening when the truth of it flashed before his eyes as it did; slow and agonizing and gut wrenching like it had been another time in his life where he failed to protect those he loved and their blood coated his skin. and he hadn’t even gotten the courage to tell you that he loves you before someone took you from him..
you swore you heard the impact of the thrown weapon piercing you echo in the staircase, ricocheting off of walls and coming back to add to your pain, burying deep as it flung you back and had you hitting the ground with a muffled thud. everything was muffled really, the hurried movements around you and the bellowing yells, even the ringing in your ears seemed distorted and fading along with your consciousness and the air within your lungs.
you wanted to give into it too, close your eyes and drift off, not feel the unbelievable pain coursing through you and making you cry. there hadn’t been just a sharp edge on this weapon but something to ensure who it was thrown at would not survive, you could feel it burning your insides as it spread throughout your entire being and made this so much worse. with every pump of your blood you felt weaker and weaker, knew that was the warmth that you pooled in but it was hard to make much sense of anything else. you only knew something other than your own hurting body when diluc came into view.
even through blurry vision you knew it was him and felt the suffering lessen knowing he was okay, just like you had hoped when you threw yourself in front of a weapon you were sure was meant for him. perhaps alive is a better word to describe him at this moment, you think, because the indescribable pain on his face did not in the least say he was okay and the clearer it became, the louder his voice sounded in your ears, your pain returned, though this time it was in the form of your breaking heart.
“why would you do that?!” he hadn’t meant to yell the words as he fell to the gound next to you but fuck, he had lost himself.
his whole body shook with crumbling agony. his head and heart throbbed at the flashbacks that choked him in the familiar fear of that day years ago; the same shade of red painting you as it had his father, the same worthless trembling hands not knowing if they would cause further damage if they were to touch you, your weak breaths taking all of the air around him with them.
from where he was beside you, the burning tears that escaped past his eyes fell on your skin, on the arm you tried to move in order to reach out and comfort him but you couldn’t move. as your eyes came upon his face, blinking slow but fighting to stay open, you wondered if the last thing you would see of this world was the man you love in so much anguish, his voice hoarse as he yelled.
“dammit y/n why?!”
why did you not let me take the hit..
why are you still looking at me with those kind and loving eyes..
why is celestia so hell bent on taking everyone i love..
he isn’t sure which he meant to voice or which he felt shredding his heart more but it had been impossible to gather himself from the moment he pulled the fatui agent from the shadows at an incredible speed. he was fueled by the same force that gave you the strength to push him to the ground as he wielded a burning blade that still remained lodged and engulfed in flames in their lifeless body a few feet away.
“because i love you,” you say with a smile, swallowing hard at how tiring and painful it was to speak but you couldn’t stop the words even if you tried. you did love him, so fucking much. you always had, always would and that love would drive you to do what you did a million times over if necessary. “and i..” you felt the tug of the darkness, the coolness of the floor as your cheek weakly rested there, the chill becoming a permanent part of you but there was still more you wanted to say and you hate that you can only say so little. “couldn’t.. let you get hurt..”
your words, your strained but sweet voice and the footsteps of the monsters you had attracted growing louder pulls him from the black flames of his past that had once consumed his heart and soul, just as it threatened to again now and still might if he didn’t do something. first, pulling the spear from your left rib cage, your body bending in pain, tears streaming down your face, as he dislodged it with a choked out ‘i’m sorry..’ before shedding his coat and pressing it to your wound.
he could feel the stickiness of your blood running down his gloves, on his wrists and through his shirt from the moment he scooped you into his arms, one hand at your back and the other under your knees. with each step he took towards getting you out of here, the heat of those black flames still loomed over him but no longer left him rooted in place.
diluc keeps you pressed close to his chest that rises and falls with deep breaths, the heat radiating off of him nearly lulling you to the sleep you so badly want to succumb to but bright red fire, surrounding you both like the burning wings of a phoenix, protecting and all consuming, keeps your attention even if only enough to shave off the darkness calling your name for a little longer.
but not even those bright flames, so beautiful and somehow feeling like they were all for you, can keep your body and mind from slipping into nothingness, into death that grasped you with one hand while diluc held on to tightly with his own.
“don’t close your eyes,” he begged, feeling you growing more limp in his arms, his broken voice so unfamiliar to you both. lightly he shook you just as he pushed through the entrance of the domain and made it into the evening sun, looking down at you in his arms fighting so hard to keep your eyes on him. “don’t fucking leave me.”
you felt another one of his tears then, hitting and soaking into your cheek, giving it a droplet of warmth. there was so much you wanted to say to comfort him. if you had the strength you would have taken him into your arms, combed your fingers through his hair and whispered reassurances into the crown of his head. the heavier your eyelids grew, your mind had easily taken you there; to a place where neither of you hurt. where you sat on his lap and he smiles with a blush at the tips of his ears as you leave a kiss on his temple before he looks up at you, something in his eyes that makes your heart beat faster, and catches your lips, kissing you longingly.
it was like a dream and a part of you knew that’s truly all it was. you were fading fast, with not an ounce of strength to fight back. with your last bit of consciousness you shed a tear for losing the chance to have that and so much with him before the boney hand of death around your dangling wrist gave a tug and pulled you into the utter darkness.
he yells your name over and over, still running as quickly as he could, when he feels you go completely limp in his arms, sparing a glance from the road ahead of him to see your eyes shut, your lips near blue. the bile rolls in his stomach, the muscles of his legs wanting him to stop but he just pushes them harder, carrying you even faster towards dawn winery. it was close, he could nearly see it in the distance.
“please.. hang on.”
the staff of the winery see him long before he’s even in the vineyard, a blur of red and the familiar figure of the one person who had seemed to steal their masters heart in his arms lifelessly. all of them clear the path leading forwards the waiting front doors where the maids are hurrying from room to room to grab everything they think they might need.
“get a healer!” he barks orders as soon as anyone is in ear shot. his voice near booming throughout the entire estate.
his footsteps pound against the stone as he’s hurrying up the stairs towards the manor. in such a familiar place, he no longer looks in front of him but instead at his worst nightmare manifesting right in his arms, all because he had not been enough to save that which mattered most to him.
elzer and adelinde are immediately at his side, the look on their masters face a painful reminder of what he had lost already and it kills them to see him so. but the entire staff of the winery would do anything to ensure that both of you made it through this. they had not been able to ignore how adoring diluc had become for you, nor how fond of you they had become themselves and they waited patiently for the day he would do something about it but to have you torn from him before he did.. to lose your bright smile around the winery.. they wouldn’t have it. they all had already lost so much and the young master especially so.
diluc hears elzer say something but against the beating of heart in his ears and the deafening silence coming from you, he can’t make out what it is. he’s suffocating, not even sure he’s breathing as he’s suddenly on the second floor of the manor, kicking his bedroom door open with force that nearly splintered the thick wood but the way he handles you when he places you in his sheets is a stark contrast, so beyond fragile and with every ounce of love that he had shared with you many times when he brought you in here in his dreams.
it wasn’t supposed to be like this and he isn’t even sure he meant to come in here but it’s where his feet took him, where he thought you would be the most comfortable and safe. and keeping you safe being the same reason that he couldn’t let go of you. he had not been strong enough to keep you safe in that domain, he had failed you, but he still held on as if letting you from his arms meant letting go of your precious life.
more footsteps leading up the stairs sounded outside of the room but the adelinde and elzer, standing around the large bed, were silent watching their beloved master kneeling on the bed next to you, his bangs covering his eyes that look so sorrowfully at your colorless visage, as if his entire world was collapsing, and he finally spoke the words they knew only scratched the surface for how he felt about you.
hunching over more and with the pressure of a bird's feather, he rests his forehead on yours, feeling himself choke on a sob at how cold your skin was. “i love you,” he confesses, pouring his warmth, his own life into you. “i’ll never let anyone harm you again.. i will always protect you just.. come back to me..”
adelinde was the first to notice the arrival of the healer, followed by the slowing steps of charles who had taken a horse to get the nearest one and bring them here. she is the one to finally approach diluc, having to kneel on the bed herself a bit in order to reach his shoulder where she places a gentle and loving hand, her chest tight at the way he shook under her palm.
“master diluc,” she coaxes him like a mother soothing her child back into her embrace. though he doesn’t budge from where he is, she knows he is listening, that he would let you go if it were her asking and assuring him. “the healer will be sure miss y/n is okay. let's give them the room.”
letting you go, leaving you, had been one of the hardest things he’s had to do and he had not done it easily but elzer and adelinde had shared a glance that had them both agreeing that it would be best that diluc not be in the room as the healer worked; for his own good and yours now that you were in the healers hands.
he knew it too. a rational part of him that was drowning in the sea of his despair knew it would do no good to have him hovering over them, barking orders when fear and agony took over his every action. he hadn’t gone far, pacing the short length of this side of the balcony, his mind racing, not an ounce of his sanity returned, his breath still so hard to catch.
for so long he has loved you, unable to say it outloud even when it was on the tip of his tongue. his worry, this exact scenario and far worse, keeping him from doing anything about it even when he wasn’t sure he could live without you and your lovely light that pierced his darkness. would your blood stain his hands like so many others had? or could he have one day been worthy of your love? would this have ended up differently had he told you long ago how he felt? could he have protected you then?
and you.. you loved him back. enough so to throw yourself in front of danger for him even though he hadn’t deserved it. you had wanted to protect him, which is something he could understand when he too had that burning, unwavering, desire but it doesn’t change his mind that it should have been him and he would give his life for yours if he could.
every set of minutes that passed diluc thinks he may be dying with you from how terribly his heart breaks and he continues to remind himself this is his fault. turning to nearly an hour, by the time the healer emerges from his quiet bedroom, he’s leaning his elbows on the banister, the hands buried in his hair keeping his head up pulling at the crimson locks like it may help him from losing his mind even more so. it didn’t but he had still held it off. his aching, yet beating heart, reminding him yours could still be beating too.
he shoots up before they can even say anything, his eyes piercing, his jaw tight.
“master diluc, miss y/n is going to be okay,” the healer assures him with a relieved and tired smile. they say something about adelinde and your care from here but with quick steps he thanked them, his voice dripping with sincerity, as he passes by and makes his way to your side.
at your side is when his body finally gives way, adrenaline and sheer stubborn will of strength wearing off seeing that you were indeed alright. even if the bandage around you continued to serve as a reminder of his failure to you, there was color in your face and lips, your skin beginning to warm on its own and he felt hope bloom within his chest when he reached for your hand and your fingers wrapped around his in your sleep. his tired legs collapsed beneath him at the edge of the bed, his body aching and he was still filthy but none of that mattered as long as you were okay.
he isn’t sure how much time passes before your intertwined fingers stir for the first time since he had grabbed ahold of them, bringing his head from where it rested close enough to hear your breaths as you slept. he sees you wince when you try to move but before you can try again, unaware of where you were or what was happening, his other hand is caressing your cheek, moving hair from your face that slipped out of place in your uncomfortable movements.
his touch immediately stills you and your lashes flutter open to see him looking down at you, so many emotions behind the petals of his rose colored eyes. you go to speak, say his name, tell him how sorry you are, thank the archons he is okay but before any words can leave your mouth, you burst into tears, the motion aching the wound of your chest but you can’t seem to stop.
no words are spoken between you as he catches your tears on his bare fingers, soothing you with his unspoken love and warm touch, feeling himself fall back into place, that manic feeling evaporating off of him at the love you emanate in return. when it seems your tears have become too much, on the verge of hurting yourself, his name escapes past your lips in a hiccup.
“d-diluc-”
“shhh,” he felt his own eyes sting at your sobbing. “it’s okay, you’re safe.” but that didn’t seem to be enough to calm you.
your touch was weak and shaky reaching around his neck and pulling him down to you. he followed without resistance, one elbow above you keeping his weight off of you while his hand rests on the top of your head, touching your hair. you buried your face into his neck as you continued to cry his name and hold onto him as though he was your life line.
“i’m here,” he coos, relieved tears running down his own cheeks. he would be your life line, your sword, your protector, your devoted lover, for as long as you’d have him. but please always have him. “i’ve got you.”
Imagine being the one person Kaeya leans on. For real, this man trusts no one and thought he would trust no one until you showed up. Now here he is, venting about his rough day at work while you run your fingers through his hair, reminding him just how much you love him. Maybe it's just me, but I think this man would MELT if you told him you want him romantically. Like, he's proud of how he can make you scream his name and all but having you say that you would be with him even without that? The man's dead, you killed him, but maybe he'll come back to you for a kiss ;)
Sorry, I don't think this is what you were asking for, but hope you like it anyhow?
anonnnnnn??? this is PERFECT!! it's even better than what i wanted?? skskskskssss. bless you, child, for leaving such a sweet delicacy in my ask box! 🥹💙
CW/NOTES — mention of sex but otherwise sfw. themes of low self-worth, abandonment issues, imposter syndrome (kaeya, not reader). fluff/comfort. gn! reader.
no, hun, it's not just you. you see, i've got quite a soft spot for lowkey insecure kaeya. it only makes sense??
i touched on this in my previous post, but i think kaeya secretly worries that you'll come to your senses one day and decide that being with him is more trouble than he's worth? he's scared shitless that he's inherently disposable (after what his bio father - and later, diluc - did to him) and probably suffers from a massive case of imposter syndrome when you tell him you're in love with him.
i think a big reason why he "peacocks" so much is bc he knows he's beautiful on the outside but thinks he's ugly on the inside and not worth sticking around for. beneath that cocky façade, there's a little boy who's terrified of being left all alone again. so he overcompensates by using his good looks and charming smile to win ppl over bc deep down he thinks that's all he's got going for him. of course you want to fuck him, he thinks. who doesn't?
but YOOOO when you touch his soul and kiss his scars, and you hold his heart in your hands like it's the most precious thing you've ever held? <i'm trying not to fucking cry here 😅> you hold it so close to your own heart and take care of it like it's yours (it is now, as far as he's concerned btw), kaeya fucking freaks the fuck out. he knows how to lose people. he's all too familiar with being discarded and abandoned.
but what he's NOT used to is being seen, accepted, and loved for exactly who he is, right to his very core. the first time you spend the night with him without having sex, he doesn't even sleep. he just lies there and watches you as tears blur his vision. he holds you and breathes in the scent of your hair as he kisses the top of your sleepy head, quietly thanking his stars for you and hoping his sniffling doesn't wake you up.
he'll know how it feels to be loved unconditionally and it's all bc of you. trust, this man will never step out of your relationship or do anything else to jeopardize what he has with you.
you're his home now, his center.
you're his present and his future.
you're his whole fucking life, his everything.
you're his person, the one who has his head in your lap, slowly brushing the tangles out of his hair with your fingers, leaning down to kiss his forehead and reminding him how much you love him. even and especially on his bad days when he needs that reminder the most.
summary ⎯ five times dan heng has thought about kissing you, and the one time he actually does.
tana's words ⎯ i've been recently listening to kiss the girl (ashley tisdale version) and its cute and made me think of dan heng. and idk if this follows canon story or not bc im not at xianzhou yet lolz.
also ik the title says 'kiss the girl' but that's only bc i was listening to the song. reader is gender neutral.
tags ⎯ friends to lovers. pining i think. hurt and comfort (at the end). flustered dan heng. fluff i think.
THE FIRST TIME dan heng thinks about kissing you, he immediately pushes away the thought. it was out of character; it was outrageous for him to think of a friend that way. it made him feel perverted for even thinking of the action.
it was a sunny day. you two (plus march and stelle) were in belobog at the time and you guys were witnessing bronya's speech. all of you agreed the speech was marvelous, and you all felt a sense of pride for bronya.
your eyes were sparkling in the sun as you watched bronya speak, and dan heng couldn't help but become enamoured by your face. he looked away from his paper to peek at your awed expression.
at that moment, dan heng thought you were the most beautiful person he's ever seen. but he can't think that. he cannot. not only were you a fellow trailblazer, but you were also his friend. he couldn't risk one of his greatest friendships over something as minimal as this.
so, he pushed the thought out of his brain. he thought that it would be gone forever, but he was deeply wrong.
THE SECOND TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you occured while you two were gazing in the astral express. by this time, you two have left belobog, and are awaiting your next journey.
you chose to pass the time by 'star-watching,' a new term you created as a substitute to cloud watching. the activity is similar to cloud watching as you point out shapes that make beings.
dan heng told you that you were just pointing out constellations, you said that you wanted to pass on the technicalities.
so now, you two were star-watching. you kept pointing out absurd patterns, such as, "this one looks like svarog," (it did not) and, "this one looks like balls." of course, none of the constellations looked like either of the comparisons (dan heng was thinking about taking you to the eye doctor), but dan heng played along anyway. anything to make you smile.
at one point, the absurdities stopped, and you began pointing out real constellations. so many beautiful creations in the sky, yet the real beautiful thing was right next to him, continuously pointing out constellations.
you rested your head on your hand, mindlessly gazing out at the empty field of stars in front of you, "it's beautiful."
"yeah," dan heng mindlessly replies, not even realizing what he's just said, "it is," he finally says, looking at you.
maybe it's the light from the stars hitting your face, or maybe it was just your radiant beauty, but the urge to kiss you came up once again. subconsciously, dan heng knew the feeling would arise sooner or later. but that didn't mean he liked the feeling.
he wants to preserve your friendship so bad; but sometimes, the line drawn alongside friendship and love begins to thin. sometimes, the line gets so thin that dan heng fears that he'll trip and fall into you.
THE THIRD TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was when you two were hanging out in his room. over the span of months, dan heng has learned to appreciate your being, and sometimes (he will never admit this) he feels calmer around you.
usually, dan heng didn't let other people be in his room, but it was different with you. for some reason, he liked it when you were in his room. sometimes, he finds himself wanting you to be in his room.
he was quietly sorting through his data bank while you were reading. it was such a calm and quiet moment; dan heng felt peace for once. there was music playing softly in the back, the room was silent, and the air was just right. it felt nice.
dan heng was too tuned into his data bank that he didn't hear footsteps coming up closer to him. it was only when he turned his head to check on you, that dan heng noticed you were right next to him.
you were right next to him, head nearly leaning on his shoulder, and you were so close to him. dan heng's heart was about to beat out of his chest, and he began to worry about the warmth that was rapidly spreading to his neck.
when you noticed dan heng's reaction, you thought you'd surprised him. you moved a little bit back, "sorry, did i scare you?"
"no, not at all. i was just a little startled," dan heng replied while rubbing the back of his (reddening) neck.
"that's like, the same thing as scared," you gave a low chuckle and moved closer to him once again, "you would know this."
"dunno," dan heng paused, "maybe i was too frightened to remember." when you laughed at that, dan heng swore he blushed all the way up to his ears.
"you are not funny," you gave him a slight shove that didn't really affect him. you leaned closer into the database, "what are you doing?"
you didn't realize how close you were to dan heng, your faces nearly touching. you were scrolling around his data bank while dan heng was trying to hide his rampant blush from your eyes.
dan heng stared at you while you browsed, taking in your close presence. you didn't seem nearly as tense as he did. you were relaxed, comfortable, you leaned into him. dan heng found himself staring longer than normal.
then, the thought, came in. the same recurring thought he'd been having for a long time: the thought to kiss you. he wanted to take you by the hands and pull you closer to him. he wanted to feel your palms and he wanted to feel you closer to him.
and this is the moment were dan heng realizes that he wants to be more than friends. dan heng realizes that he likes you; he wants you to be with him, he wants to feel you by his side. he wants endless star-watching nights; he wants to see you constantly.
and that is dangerous. not only would that ruin your friendship, but it would also endanger you. there's so much that would put you at risk.
"you should go back to your room," dan heng puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, causing you to look back up at him. your confused expression almost shatters dan heng's resilience, but he goes on, "it's late. go get some rest."
you keep the hand on your shoulder, "you too. don't stay up too late, okay?" the soft tone of your voice makes dan heng melt, and he almost wants to pull you back and ask you to stay. almost.
dan heng nods and you leave. he leans back on his desk and puts his head in his hands. what is he going to do?
THE FOURTH TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was the night you arrived in the xianzhou. you (and march and stelle) were exploring the city and it's wonders while dan heng was treading carefully behind you.
you haven't had a full conversation with dan heng for days. you assume it was probably because you were snooping around his data bank, but he has never minded that before. you haven't got an actual chance to apologize either, because for some reason, dan heng is now constantly busy.
the four of you decided that you would split up to look around. march immediately went to stelle, so that left you with dan heng.
dan heng knew this would happen. he couldn't avoid you for too long anyway, even if he tried. he would always end up gravitating back towards you.
it pained him to not talk to you. he missed your voice, your jokes, your little touches. he missed your book talks, he missed the way you'd always be in his room, he even missed your nosiness.
you and dan heng were aimlessly strolling around the streets until you found a lively street parlor. they were selling food, and the aroma was absolutely divine. dan heng knew you immediately caught your mind on something when he saw your beaming face.
you still haven't found a correct time to apologize to dan heng, but that can wait for later. you just wanted to talk to him. "dan heng! we should try some," you beamed.
"okay. i'll wait over here," dan heng monotonously replied. your smile slightly faltered, dan heng thought the sight to be excruciating.
he couldn't still be mad at you, right? you had to apologize soon, because this silent is agonizing. you couldn't help the fact that you missed dan heng. you missed late nights and his warm touch. you missed his sarcasm and his gentle nature.
when you returned, you brought back one giant kebab that dan heng knew you couldn't finish. you'd probably have enough to share with the entire express.
when you took a bite of the kebab, you moaned with delight, and dan heng forgot how much he missed your smile. it all came rushing back to him, all the things he missed about you. you are right here, in his grasp, yet he still cannot have you.
after your first bite, you offered a second bite to dan heng. etiquette was all out of the picture when you were there.
originally, dan heng wasn't planning to eat. there were lots of problems at hand, and dan heng could not relax now. but you were an obstacle in his equation. how could he refuse you when you were practically bouncing on your toes, smiling, and looking at him with such mirthful eyes. saying no to you was like refusing a blessing from the aeons.
he took a bite out of the kebab, to which he nodded in delight. dan heng finished chewing with a delighted expression on his face, and your smile appeared once again. dan heng felt his lips creep up, and sooner or later, he was smiling as well.
he looked down at your happy expression, and he noticed that you had food on the corner of your mouth. dan heng usually scolded you for being slightly messy, but in this tender moment, there was no need.
dan hen grabbed a napkin from a nearby table and wiped the corner off your mouth off. he wiped the food off so tenderly that you would think he was tending to something delicate and fragile. and the gaze he gave you after. you nearly passed out. dan heng looked at you with such fondness and love that you gripped the kebab harder.
his mind hadn't registered what he just did before you quietly said, "thank you."
dan heng nearly malfunctioned. what he just did was criminal. it was a simple thing, however it was most criminal to dan heng. during that moment, all he could think of was your lips on his. the tenderness of his touch was his mind projecting how he would cup your face when you two kissed. all of it felt so wrong, but so right.
"no problem," dan heng blushed and avoided your eyes. "do you... do you think we should meet back up with march and stelle?"
"yeah," you looked down at the ground, slightly flustered, "yeah. let's go."
things were awkward. but at least things were okay. and that was all that mattered to you.
MARCH 7TH HAD speculations. you and dan heng were like a pair. you two were a dynamic duo, second to march and stelle, of course. you would always be seen with each other. when march "accidentally" stumbles into dan heng's room, you'd be somewhere in there as well.
so, why is it that whenever march barges into dan heng's room, you aren't there? why are you not with him? why is he "constantly busy" when he there is nothing to store in the data bank? something was up, and march was determined to find out what was happening.
"don't you think it's weird that we never see dan heng and yn together anymore?" march asked stelle while sipping on juice.
stelle huffed, "i mean, it's a little weird. but maybe they're both exhausted. we just got out of belobog and now we're facing more conflict in another world."
"yeah, but," march paused for dramatic effect, "i saw them together in dan heng's room a few days ago."
stelle furrowed her eyebrows, "are you stalking them or something?"
"what?!" march exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her seat. the scene caused stelle to laugh, "no. of course not, i can't believe you accused me of that!"
"so... you don't think it's weird that we never see them together anymore?" march continued.
"okay. i'll answer. it's a little weird. but whatever it is i'm sure they have a reasonable explanation for it," stelle said. "why are you asking about them anyway?"
"because," march drew out the syllables, "they're cute. i've been shipping them. and plus, dan heng hasn't really been acting like himself recently."
"yeah, but what are we gonna do about it? he hasn't really opened up to us about his problems... like... ever..." stelle trailed off, as if she tried to remember how many times dan heng has ever spoken about himself.
"don't worry stelle," march grinned, "i have a plan."
"i can't believe we fell for this," you grimaced in the closet you were stuck in.
march and stelle split up and told both of you that there was a group meeting in march's room. obviously, because the both of you thought there was something urgent, you rushed in there. you were prepared, only to be ambushed and pushed in a closet by march and stelle as a ploy to "make up."
alas, you knew you needed to talk things out sooner or later.
dan heng, on the other hand, was freaking out. you're close. you're so close that he can feel every time you exhale out of your nose. this closet had no space, so you were practically pressed up on dan heng.
the one thing he couldn't see though, was your face. dan heng wanted to see your face. he wanted to study you up close: he wanted to your skin with his hands, wanted to pull you closer so he can observe the way your mouth lifts when you smile. he wants so much, but he can have none of it.
"i think i can break us out," dan heng offered.
"do you think they're guarding the doors?" you chuckled. dan heng gave a small smile after hearing your laugh. it's ironic that you're laughing in this situation while dan heng's heart is about to burst.
"i think the both of us can take them," dan heng answered.
this is the most you two have ever spoken to each other in days. you missed his voice and you missed being so close to him. unconsciously, you leaned closer to dan heng. you would know his warmth from anywhere.
as you two try to find a good point to hit, your hands brush against dan heng's. the way his hand feels on top of yours just feels right. the way his touch is still so gentle; oh how badly you missed his touch against yours.
"i'm sorry!" dan heng quickly removed his hands from yours. he moved away from you as well. you wanted so badly to chase him: you wanted to come closer, to place your hands with his one more time.
but you didn't. you doubted the fact that dan heng wanted to be near you. with his recent actions, you were wondering if the two of you were still on good terms or not. you could mess everything up with one action; dan heng was the very last thing you wanted to lose.
when you two finally found a good breaking point, you both put all your body strength into prying the doors open. it took a few tries, but the doors finally opened. however, there were consequences. the closet fell down with the combined force of both your bodies shaking it.
before you two fell to the floor, dan heng grabbed your arm and pulled you underneath him in a quick motion. your heart raced against your chest; you were so close that you could feel dan heng's heartbeat as well. and to your surprise, his heart was beating just as fast as yours.
the closet fell on top of you, and dan heng shoved it off of the two of you in one motion. seeing him do that just made your heart beat faster, and you were sure that you were breathing faster as well.
dan heng looked down to check on you, but doing so brought him much closer to you. closer than he had ever been. if dan heng moved down a little bit more, he would be able to close the distance between your lips. the urge was tempting: he was on top of you, your faces were both so close to each other, and your breathing was rampant and quick.
"are you alright?" dan heng asked. his breath fanned your face and you stared right into his eyes.
"i should be asking you that," you breathlessly whispered. he was so close and you were about to burst.
"i'm alright," he leaned down closer, "don't worry about me."
you two were both in a daze when you found yourselves leaning closer to each other. dan heng cupped your face; he couldn't wait any longer. all resilience went out the window, because right here, right now, you were here. you were in front of him, looking as radiant as ever, and dan heng could close the distance right now.
his hands treaded carefully across your face, as if you were one-of-a-kind. finally, his hands rested against your cheeks, and he leaned closer. dan heng was so close to kissing you before a commotion entered the room.
"OH MY GOD!" march exclaimed before running out of the room.
you startled, and accidentally pushed dan heng off of you. you frantically apologized while dan heng brushed himself off and helped you up. you were shaking at what almost just happened. you almost kissed your best friend.
the distance between you and dan heng was wide. he made sure to stand exactly five feet away from you. his hands were crossed and he refused to look at you. dan heng was worried that if he got even the slightest glance at you, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from what would happen next.
you both quickly left the room with racing hearts, confused thoughts, and a realization that whatever just happened was a mistake.
WHENEVER DAN HENG NEEDS SOMEONE to help him with his wounds, you are always that person.
at first, it was for team bonding. before stelle came, you all would take turns patching wounds to build team trust. however, with dan heng, the only person that he'd let patch up his wounds was you. you used to tease him and tell him that he was like a dog in that way, but he always brushed it off.
you were always gentle with him; carefully touching up on cuts and bruises with bandages or rubbing alcohol. by no means were you any doctor, but you were tender and calm.
dan heng was wounded again. there was no reason for him to be wounded. the fight was tame; the enemies weren't extremely powerful or anything. but for some reason, dan heng surpassed the rest of the team with more cuts.
now, you two were in a small room together. luckily, it's more spacious than the closet, but it wasn't as big as dan heng's room. you and dan heng were both sitting on a table; you sitting criss-cross-applesauce while dan heng was sitting properly.
the both of you haven't talked ever since the closet incident. instead, you two have been sharing gazes, brushing past each other in halls, and staying five feet away from each other.
this was the closest you have been in a while.
you are focused on banadaging dan heng's cuts. your eyes are glued to his arms and torso; you refused to look up at dan heng. you couldn't look at him for two reasons: you were slightly mad at him for obtaining so many injuries and you still couldn't look him in the eye after the past situation.
dan heng sat in silence as you tended to him. he knew you were mad at him, and he felt awful. dan heng knew that he didn't need to sustain as many injuries has he had. the only reason why he had so many injuries was that he was trying to distract himself from his feelings. the closet situation had him questioning himself. given the chance, would he hold himself back or would he let his urges win?
"i'm done," you let go of his arms and started putting bandages away. dan heng didn't know you'd be done so quickly. he wanted to bask in your grace for a little longer. dan heng thought about pulling a stitch in order to get you to stay longer, but that just seemed weird.
dan heng knew he couldn't let you leave like this. there was too many unspoken words between you two; most of them, partially his.
during this, dan heng realized something. he realized that, even though you are still mad at him, you stayed with him. you didn't ask for march or stelle to help him, but you did it yourself. dan heng could be reading too much into it, but dan heng is tired. he's tired of longing for you.
and maybe, just maybe, if you'll stay when it gets difficult (like right now), maybe you'll stay when it gets hard as well.
dan heng decides to leave all resilience behind. for once, he doesn't calculate the consequences nor does he hold himself back.
you're about to slide off the table until dan heng pleads, "wait." he grabs your arm and holds you there with a gentle grip. you could slip out of it if you wanted to, but this may be the first actual conversation the two of you will have in a while.
dan heng takes your silence as an answer. "thank you," he says. he curses at himself at the simple response. it was anti-climatic. "i appreciate you," he adds on.
the compliment made you blush, even though it was very simplistic. you avoid looking at him and rather focus on tapping your fingers on the table. "no problem. it was nothing anyway."
you two remain silent for a few moments; you didn't want to leave in fear that this may be one of your few conversations. dan heng was trying to find the right words to say.
"i really do appreciate you. for being here. for always being here," he continues. dan heng realizes he sounds redundant, and he wants to slap his palm across his face. with you, he couldn't find the right words to convey his actions. saying, "i'm sorry," wasn't enough and saying, "i miss you," was too little.
"i told you. it's nothing. i'd do the same for everyone else," and you wanted to chide yourself for saying the last sentence. not true, because the only person who'd you really do all of this for was only dan heng.
"i think this is the longest conversation we've had in a while," you murmur to yourself.
"i know," dan heng replies. you jump back on the table, almost falling off. if it wasn't for dan heng catching you (yet again), you would've fell off. his touch sends electricity through your veins; his touch brings warmth to your body.
"hey! you need to watch your stitches," you automatically scolded him. your nagging was a normal occurrence, but this time, it felt rare. dan heng hasn't heard you nag at him for years (days), and he feels as though he can breath normally now.
"sorry," he pulls back. you're left shuffling closer to dan heng, not that you notice, due to your almost fall. you two were facing each other now; the distance was a lot closer than before.
you let out a small laugh at the situation. practically falling of a table was not a laughing matter, but you always found joy in those situations. sometimes, dan heng thought it was a bit strange, but he always valued your optimism.
"i'm sorry dan heng," you look back down on the table, "i didn't know going through your data bank would make you ignore me for days," you let out dry chuckle.
dan heng furrows his eyebrows in shock, "don't apologize. i don't mind you looking through the data bank."
you looked up after his reply, expression shadowed with confusion, "wait? really? so... why the radio silence? did i have something to do with it?"
"no! no, it wasn't you," dan heng quickly reassured. "it was me. i was the problem."
"don't have to tell me that," you smiled and bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.
"i'm gonna let that slide," dan heng smirked. it was nice, the way you two fell back into your normal routines once again. it was like all the tension that was previously there, simply dissipated.
"i missed you," you crossed your legs on the table, moving back to the criss-cross applesauce position.
"me too," dan heng replied. "i missed you a lot." he looked straight into your eyes.
you flustered underneath his gaze, "i probably missed you more. sometimes i dunno if i can survive without you," you joked. it was a joke, but occasionally, you find it to be true.
"for me, it's the other way around," dan heng mumbled beneath his breath. "i really missed you. and our late nights. and star-watching."
"you missed star-watching?" you astonishly asked. dan heng wished he could take a picture of your grin when he told you that he missed star-watching.
"i missed a lot of things," dan heng paused, "but i missed you the most."
"i'm sorry for pushing you away yn. i was just⎯ scared," time to rip off the band-aid, "when i'm around you, i just get so messed up. you're the only thing on my mind sometimes. everything about you just makes me⎯ breathless? speechless? you amaze me to the point where i can't even think of a word to describe you."
dan heng pauses and his heart is racing. you're looking at him as if you want him to continue, as if you want him to finally say what he wants. dan heng doesn't know that you want it too.
"yn," dan heng looks straight at you, "i have feelings for you. feelings that i think will overwhelm me at one point if i keep it all together. i never stop thinking about you, longing for you. i want you and i think i really want to kiss you," dan heng finishes. he fumbled on his words back there, because he doesn't think he wants to kiss you, he wants to.
"dan heng..." your face is hot. your body is hot. your breathing is fast-paced and you feel like you are about to be on fire. adrenaline rushes through your veins and you are sure you are not thinking straight.
you pull him in for a kiss, tugging him closer by his chin and kissing him passionately. you take that fire from your body and you pour it all into this kiss. dan heng is surprised at first, but then reciprocates your actions. while your hand is on his face, his hands slide to your hips, tugging you closer and holding you tighter.
you two kiss until you have to stop for air. when you breathe, the whole world feels like it's on fire as well.
"i feel the same. i can't stop thinking about you," you lean in for another kiss, "i miss you," another kiss, "i missed being with you," another, "i missed being close to you," another, this time a little longer, "but i really hope i don't miss this."
"don't worry," dan heng pauses, "you won't. i promise."
and after all of that, dan heng finally got to kiss you.
I've been having some ideas for a new fic but first:
Does anyone know why Ei started the vision hunt decree? I'm trying to remember but I don't know if they ever said.
Like what did taking people's ambitions have to do with "eternity"
Maybe she thought that if she took away people's ambitions, it would keep them from changing Inazuma? I dont know I need to hear other people's theories. 😭
“Girlfriend?! You?!” Kaveh’s face showed nothing but utmost shock. “I don’t believe a word you say! Nobody would! I mean – You?! There’s no way any sane woman would stay around you!”
“I am not one to respond to baseless provokation, however, I have to point out that you directly insulted my partner intellect and mental well-being, to which I cannot remain silent - Though, I suppose you are intoxicated and there’s little I should care about. No word coming out of your mouth is ever worth taking into account to begin with.” Alhaitham, much to his mate’s irritation, didn’t even raise his gaze from the book he was reading.
“Hey, you–! You’re SO insufferable!” the poor architect growled in anger. “Since when? You never told me about her, and we’ve known each other for enough years! You’d have let it slip somehow - Or, at least, your arrogance would’ve!”
“Your impression on my personality has nothing to do with any kind of potential slip you think I might have had. As a matter of fact, the existence of a significant other had never been a secret to begin with. You just never asked, therefore, I had no reason to go out of my way and brag about my perfectly accomplished life, considering not only your living conditions, but your infinitely tragic luck. I did not want to bother with you crying again, out of nowhere.” Kaveh threw a random book at his mate’s head, which annoyingly enough, he masterfully caught without as much as blinking.
“GAHH, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!” the man whined, slamming his face into the table. “FINE! TELL ME! ENLIGHTEN ME! WHO IS THIS MYSTERY WOMAN THAT MANAGED TO IGNORE THE INFINITE AMOUNT OF NEGATIVE TRAITS AND THAT STUPIDLY ARROGANT AND UNAPPROACHABLE FACE OF YOURS?! IS SHE BLIND?!”
“There is nothing wrong with her eye function. In fact, she often compliments my appearance.” the scribe pointed out. “We have been together since a year before we presented our graduation thesis.” poor Kaveh spit out the beer he was drinking.
“HOW LONG?!” he was absolutely convinced he was lying. “There’s NO way that is, in any way, true!”
“If you don’t believe me, there are plenty ways to search for proof on your own. The only thing I would have to warn you about is not to use your usual barbaric ways of speaking to her, if you manage to find her. You will scare her away.” Kaveh couldn’t help but glare at Alhaitham, though, considering the amount of unceremonious yelling he just did, he couldn’t refute much.
“Fine, whatever - Tell me about her. How you met. Something. Anything relevant. I’ll see after if I believe you.” Alhaitham had to fight the smirk off his face as he hummed in amusement - It was so easy to get a rise out of this fool.
“Y/N is originally from Liyue, although you can say, after finishing her Amurta course and graduated, she would spend about half a year back home to take care of her family and help with the medicine aspect of the country.” Kaveh’s eyes suddenly shot open and he gasped.
“Hold up! Is this the Liyue friend that Tighnari mentioned? They were in the same Darshan and – They worked on their thesis together a lot and – And Cyno too, on enough occasions – Is that her?!” Alhaitham shrugged his shoulders, though he knew it was the truth. There were a lot of references that one must use in the bibliography, and the practical percentage of her thesis she did on the comparison of Fauna and Flora from Sumeru and Liyue was done for the most part with Tighnari. Y/N often mentioned the fennec boy being her only friend for the many years she in Akademiya.
fine pieces of gravel crunch softly beneath two pairs of feet as you stroll across the pathway that leads towards the ragnvindr estate.
your right hand is snug within the grasp of your lover. with intertwined fingers you begin to absentmindedly swing them in an easy motion, back and forth and back again.
it’s well past midnight now. mondstadt is still. serene. there’s not a soul in sight, save for the man whose existence fills you with nothing but peace and an aching fondness.
diluc walks by your side in tandem with your gait so as not to overtake you. his presence, reminiscent to that of a steady and burning flame, is a welcome comfort against the chill of mondstadt’s cold night.
he’s awfully attentive like that. much more than he likes to admit.
it makes you want to kiss him silly sometimes, for spoiling you with such silent yet gentle care. makes you want to shower him with as much love as he gives.
and sometimes you do. quite often, actually.
within the private confines of your shared bedroom you would litter kisses along the expanse of his bared skin, along the trails of his scars both old and new— your lips a lowly pilgrim and his body the holiest site.
yes, perhaps that’s the first thing you should do as soon as the pair of you settle in for the night. kiss him into a stupor.
a small thank you in exchange for how often he pampers you— which, in fact, is very often indeed. physically and emotionally speaking. financially too, if you were being completely honest.
not that you were complaining. no, never.
you bask in his love and adoration like a flower under the sun.
“tell me, my dearest darknight hero. was this your way of courting me? taking me on a moonlit stroll by the lake.”
there’s that familiar lilt in your voice that diluc knows all too well. he sours at the mention of his egregious alibi, grimacing at you with his pretty face before sighing halfheartedly.
he’s cute, really. he always is. especially when the tips of his ears glow just the faintest hue of carmine.
“how strange,” diluc grumbles lightly at your jest. there’s no malice in the sound, though. only that of feigned exasperation. “i was under the impression that what we have is merely platonic.”
you truly do love it when he takes your bait. diluc is a lot of fun like that, not that anyone else would know given his stoic demeanour.
it’s one of your many guilty pleasures, having the privilege of experiencing this side of him.
there’s a grin stretched across your face that you can’t seem to quite control. “i don’t suppose you go on scandalous, romantic rendezvous like this with your other platonic relations?”
“this is hardly anything scandalous.”
“perhaps. but,” you drawl, “you don’t deny that this is rather romantic, then?”
a minute hitch in his voice as he tries to counter your accusations satisfies something within you. you can’t really help but snicker.
diluc gifts you with another unamused frown as you beam and titter at him cheekily.
with your need to pester him somewhat sated, your arms snake upwards to wrap themselves around his bicep as you snuggle into his warmth.
you’re quite sleepy now that you think about it. diluc is terribly cosy, too. who could blame you for your growing drowsiness?
“i’m only teasing you, ‘luc.”
the man shakes his head softly, fluffy bangs swaying with the movement. “you always do, love.”
well, he wasn’t exactly wrong. a small yawn slips past your lips— a telltale indication of fatigue. diluc doesn’t miss it despite the way you attempt to hide it behind your free hand.
“yeah… ‘m sorry,” you offer.
“somehow i question your sincerity.”
there’s a soft pressure against your head. you know the feel of his lips more than you know the sound of your own name, and you recon you know diluc well enough to discern his innermost thoughts voiced through his actions.
but i forgive you. i’d let you tease me forever if that’s what you so please.
it wasn't always so easy to figure him out. truthfully it was quite the struggle initially, what with how guarded the man is considering his past. you couldn't be more grateful for the patience and trust he's extended to you.
alas, your train of thought is cut off short when diluc suddenly stops to scoop you into his arms, one hooked below your knees and the other around your back. to his credit it was a seamless action, but it doesn’t stop the startled yelp that jumps out of you as you instinctively cling to his neck.
“now this is definitely scandalous, you brute! a warning would be nice at least.”
“my apologies,” he chuckles, securing you tighter in his hold. “want me to put you back down?”
you feign annoyance with the furrow of your brows, pretending to ponder for a moment, before pecking his cheek. “don’t even think about it.”
diluc is kind enough to heed your wishes (he almost always does). though, you doubt he would’ve set you down regardless actually.
the two of you lapse into a comfortable silence as diluc continues the journey home, and you take this time to finally rest your eyes. it’s easy to let yourself go like this with him around.
diluc had always exuded such dependable warmth but it was even more noticeable now, what with you being nestled in his arms. you’d have fallen asleep right then and there if it wasn’t for the sudden recollection that hits you.
when the both of you were lazing beneath a tree by the city’s waters just half an hour ago, you couldn’t help but notice a strange bump on his finger as you played with his gloved hands.
you didn’t need to see it to know what it was, though. after all, the physical manifestation of diluc’s devotion to you is not too dissimilar to the one on your own finger.
a simple golden ring.
it was a pleasant surprise to discover him adorning his wedding band. the both of you had agreed upon hiding your marriage for a number of reasons, but the greatest by far was to do with your safety.
unbeknownst to many, diluc is an enemy to a large number of dangerous individuals. an entire nation's military, even. he cannot afford, cannot bear, to place a target on your back.
perhaps it was for the best.
with your head resting comfortably against his chest, you slowly extend your left hand towards your husband’s face, just beneath his nose.
no words are exchanged as diluc reverently presses his lips to your ring finger. it’s nothing but a chaste kiss, but diluc seems to linger on your skin even as you try to pull away.
you can’t help but sigh contentedly.
“someone wore their ring today. when we were by the lake earlier— i could feel it. underneath your glove.”
“hmm? ah,” it takes diluc a moment to figure out who you were referring to, but he gives you a simple nod once it dawns on him. “i did, yes. it seems that you did, too.”
“mhm.”
diluc doesn’t bother to stifle a smile at the progressive grogginess of your voice. silence ensues for a moment or two until another thought crosses your mind.
“it’s really pretty.”
your husband hums. it’s a low and soothing sound, one that comes from deep within his chest. “mine or yours?”
“my one, of course,” you quip matter-of-factly. “but yours is pretty too, i suppose.”
diluc finds himself chuckling at your forwardness. “ah, i see.”
usually you tend not to think too hard about the tenderness often heard in his voice when he speaks to you, lest you end up bursting with intense emotion.
you swear to the archons you’re normally not this emotional, but diluc seems to have a knack for rendering you so.
you're glad the sentiment is mutual.
it took a great deal of time, patience and understanding to get this far in your relationship. diluc isn’t, has never been, an open book. it was a privilege to even skim through a few of his well-worn pages, so the fact that he willingly let and still lets you read and indulge in all his chapters is something you hold most dearly in your heart.
you've seen countless pages blotted with the tears he had shed in his past. pages stained in crimson with the blood of his late father, of his brother. his own. diluc held you close that night as you wept for him and his tragic past, wiped your tears with your face cradled in his palm.
you couldn't have guessed the significance of that vulnerable moment at the time, nor could you have guessed the impact it would have on your budding relationship.
following that night you noticed certain pages within his novel that had your name etched in graphite within them. sometimes smudged and illegible, other times neat and with clear purpose.
what you found out much later was that he hadn’t just written you in pencil— hadn't just left you as a scribble amongst the sea of ornately written words.
diluc had inked you in. engraved your name into the parchment of his skin, immortalising you within the story of his very soul.
with the sound of your husband’s steady breathing, coupled with the rhythmic rise and fall of his firm chest, you're finally lulled to sleep.
kissing him stupid will have to wait until morning comes.
taglist; @tellerluna-stories @roguebox @searriously (pls ask if you wanna be added or removed from the taglist!)
synopsis: sometimes it matters that you are his wife.
pairings: Alhaitham, Ayato, Diluc, Kaeya x fem!reader (separately)
tw: fluff, a little bit of bullying, a bit of unwelcome drunk flirting, characters sre whipped for their wives
word count: 5.4k+ words
Alhaitham
Your husband is… Truly something. Honestly, that’s the best way to describe this epitome of nonchalance, smugness and sarcasm, sprinkled with sharp glares and served with a smartass sauce. No one would be able to swallow such a nasty pill, yet you somehow managed. But that’s what doctors say, right? The medicine might be bitter, but it’ll get better. And it did.
Hard to believe, but the Akademiya’s Scribe is enamored by you - it took time to realize, many interactions for him to see that you do not rise annoyance in him, multiple times sharing the eye contact and hundreds of hours being your interlocutor to cognize the beauty of you, but when he fell - he fell hard, and the realization didn’t make him feel repulsed. On the contrary, it brought him inexplicable peace, and, being an efficient and straightforward man he is, Alhaitham faced you the very next day and asked out on a date.
The rest is history. You dated, you moved in, you got married - the sequence your husband perfected in its briefness to be over with quickly anytime his colleagues or anyone asked about you and your relationship. You, of course, would give a more detailed summary to your friends, speaking of him so tenderly, always witnessing the same reaction - disbelief. And you get it where they come from - after all, your partner is known to not be the most cordial person. He prefers it that way though - he is bothered much less and can dedicate that free time to his lovely wife.
He makes it a point to not leave the house unnecessarily early, just exactly enough to get to his office on time, and same with finishing his work, bluntly rejecting anyone who tries to approach him with stuff. This way he doesn’t waste a second with you, quite on contrary, sometimes a couple of hours can be added, if you visit him during the afternoon to go grab lunch together, or enjoy the one you brought with you, and then rest somewhere in a private spot with your head on his shoulder, holding a bigger hand that is resting on your thigh, while his other one is occupied with a book. This is enough to power you both up to push through the rest of the day, and Alhaitham really appreciates it, never failing to give you a kiss on the lips and murmuring the soft words of reassurance, before parting your ways till the evening.
consider yourself warned: sfw. agonizing fluff. depending on how much of a sap you are, you may want to have some tissue handy?
♡ when the massive doors of the cathedral open, it’s a long walk to the altar where he’s waiting for you.
♡ what feels like half the city of mond turns to look at you as you make your way down the aisle, but the whole world disappears when you see him.
♡ as though casting a spotlight on him, a lone sunbeam illuminates the space where your fiancée stands, proud and tall.
♡ the sight of him takes your breath away.
♡ he’s decked out in his knights of favonius-issued dress uniform, complete with his captain rank insignia displayed on the shoulder and breast of his coat - a rare sight indeed.
♡ (you can thank jean later.)
♡ he even had a matching white eyepatch with gold trim tailored especially for the occasion.
♡ he looks so noble and distinguished, regal even: a prince, ready to receive his princess.
♡ pinches the bridge of his nose when he sees you, inwardly cursing himself bc he swore he wouldn’t cry.
♡ (he wasn’t crying, his eyes were sparkling. there’s a difference, he’ll tell you later.)
♡ his fingers swipe under his eyepatch to wipe his tears away before they can betray him.
♡ he honestly never thought he’d find himself here - standing at the altar, watching someone who loves him - the real him - walk towards him with a wide grin, glowing, wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with him. him, of all people.
♡ before he met you, he was terminally alone, resigned to a life of bachelor-hood.
♡ because who could he even be honest with? to whom could he ever tell the truth about his identity, his past, his ancestry, and still be accepted?
♡ he took a huge gamble the night he told you - not everything, but enough - and he’ll never forget the way you looked at him and said, “i’m so sorry you were abandoned like that. you were just a child, groomed to be played as a pawn in an old man’s war game. that should’ve never happened to you, kaeya.”
♡ then you brushed his cerulean hair away from his right eye, smiled at him, and told him the words he never dreamed he would hear in response to his truth. “i love you, kaeya, and i’ll never abandon you. i want you to know that.”
♡ when you finally make it to the altar and he takes your hand in his, the dam breaks and your muffled sobs can be heard throughout the congregation, several of whom join you.
♡ “you look so handsome, kaeya,” you tell him in a choked whisper.
♡ “and you look stunning as always, my love," he mouths back, his thick eyelashes wet with unshed tears.
♡ nearly every elderly lady in mondstat is in attendance and CRYING HER FUCKING EYES OUT.
♡ if your own grandmother is in attendance, she’s crying even harder bc she’s the lucky one who gets to have kaeya alberich as her grandson-in-law.
♡ the knights host an “official” reception for the entire city. it’s too formal and stuffy for your and kaeya's taste. but the two of you remain in your wedding attire and play the part, maintaining decorum as you receive the city's well-wishes and gifts.
♡ but as soon as it’s over, you both breathe sighs of relief, change into your street clothes and head over to angel’s share for your “personal” reception where only your closest friends and loved ones gather for a night of drinking and shenanigans.
♡ even diluc finds an opportunity to pull kaeya aside and bid him congratulations. and for once kaeya genuinely thanks him without tacking on a cheeky comment afterward. it’s a heartfelt exchange between brothers, man to man.
♡ just before midnight, kaeya brushes past you, stealthily telling you to meet him on the balcony before continuing on up the spiral staircase.
♡ moments later, you find an excuse to break from the conversation you’ve been stuck in and follow him.
♡ you ease the balcony door open to find your husband leaning with his elbows on the wooden railing, looking out onto the street below.
♡ he turns his head to look at you with pure adoration in his eye and a genuine smile that says he’s happy that you’ve managed to join him there.
♡ he stands up straight and reaches into his coat to pull out a bottle of champagne.
♡ “kaeya! did you sneak that from the bar stash?”
♡ “sshhhh. it’s better if you don’t know. plausible deniability.”
♡ “i can’t take you anywhere.”
♡ “now what kind of pirate would i be if i didn’t steal some booze?”
♡ you shake your head at him and giggle as he pops the top, a little of the bubbly spilling over the bottleneck.
♡ “to us”, he toasts simply.
♡ “to us,” you agree.
♡ he kisses you there on the tiny balcony of angel’s share, sweet and tender, and it becomes the most memorable moment of your entire wedding day.
♡ after all the fanfare and the hooplah, it is on the balcony of an old, dusty tavern where it’s just the two of you, and you finally have a quiet moment of romantic respite.
♡ he calls you mrs. alberich for the first time and asks you for a dance.
♡ the music and atmosphere downstairs is cheery and upbeat, but you dance slowly together to the beat of your own hearts.
♡ with your head tucked under his chin, your ear pressed to his chest, you look over and see the hand that holds yours and there’s a golden ring.
♡ it has your name engraved inside the band ‘y/n alberich’, just as yours does his.
♡ and so with a stolen bottle of champagne as your witness, you dance hand in hand, cheek to cheek, whispering the first of the same promises to each other that you will for years to come.
ayoo... mayhaps we get a moment when Kaeya finally realizes he's ready for kids??
i have been hoarding this ask for way too long and i know in my heart of hearts that kaeya would want to adopt a child
every saturday afternoon, on what’s meant to be your day off, you and kaeya teach a swordsmanship seminar.
when kaeya had first been given the responsibility by the acting grand master, you’d only tagged along to watch. you handed out water and pretended not to swoon whenever the sun reached its peak and your husband undid a few more buttons of his shirt.
you’d only started helping out after the incident where bennett had somehow cut mika’s finger off. the seminar had grown so popular that it was hard for him to keep track of all the attendees and all their limbs, apparently. not just amongst the knights and the members of the adventurer’s guild.
“captain kaeya!” the kids shout, almost trampling over bennett as they rush over to their favourite knight. he greets each one of them by name, patting their heads and ruffling their hair as they gaze up at him, excited for today’s lesson.
he outfits each of them with a wooden training sword, making sure they’re all arms-length apart before beginning. like always, he starts with leading them in a battle cry.
“knights use battle cries to rally their spirits and remind themselves what they’re fighting for before a battle,” he explains, pointing his sword up high, prompting the children to do the same. “what are you guys passionate about? what are we fighting for today?”
“for sticky honey roast!” a girl with twin pigtails cries out with a passion you think might rival jean’s.
“alright,” he laughs, flashing you a smile when you giggle from the sidelines. “today we learn to fight in the name of sticky honey roast.”
each stance and swing of his sword, the children copy. their footwork is a little wobbly and their sword swings a touch hesitant, but it’s nothing that kaeya can’t fix, squatting down to adjust their footing or their grip. he always seems to know what each child needs, offering gentle words of encouragement and always praising them for a job well done.
the children look at him like he hung the moon and stars, and kaeya, of course, preens at their attention. they crowd him when they’re done with their lesson, when he rewards them with candies and little trinkets.
“thank you, papa!” the girl with the pigtails exclaims, throwing herself into his arms. the look on kaeya’s face is priceless.
the sun is setting by the time he’s finished, his arm slung around your shoulder as you walk to angel’s share.
you glance up at him, nothing the soft remnants of a smile still gracing his face. “you’re in a good mood.”
“of course i am. i have a good life,” he answers, pulling you closer. “and i had a good day, hanging out with those kids.”
“you’re really good with them,” you nod. “they really love you.”
you’re not surprised, because kaeya is good with everyone. all of mondstadt adores the calvary captain.
“after i walked them back to the orphanage the headmaster said—” he pauses, seeming uncharacteristically hesitant. “she said i’d be a good father someday.”
“you’d be a great dad,” you murmur, reaching up to pat his hand.
“do you think about stuff like that? with me, i mean.”
“no, with huffman,” you tease, causing him to scoff and turn away. you simply laugh, resting your head on his shoulder. “kaeya, of course i’ve thought about starting a family with you someday.”
he perks up a little, pausing mid-stride in front of the tavern. “why don’t we start now, then?”
you gaze flicks toward the door. “is diluc’s future niece or nephew about to be conceived in the back room of his tavern?”
he rubs the back of his neck a little sheepishly. “i mean they could be…but - only if it’s alright with you - i’d actually like to go back to the orphanage. there are a lot of kids here who need parents. and when i think about what crep— about what my father did for me, i want to do that.”
_____
on sundays, everyone gathers at the alberich household for dinner (where the main course is always a sticky honey roast, as per a special someone’s request.)
kaeya’s gaze is pulled in your direction when he hears you laugh, conversing with diluc as you weaving twin plaits into your daughter’s hair.
the little boy in his arms (with your eyes and his nose) is restless, eager to be let down to play. so kaeya sets him on the floor, pressing a kiss atop the crown of his head and making sure he’s steady before letting him toddle towards his sister. you coo when she pulls him into her lap, hugging him tightly.
kaeya leans back in his chair, watching the scene before him unfold with a quiet smile on his face. he’s always felt a little split on the inside, unsure of his place in the world.
but now he knows that it’s most certainly right here.
Kaeya who has dealt with headaches and migraines all his life thanks to his fucked up eye curse
Kaeya who Diluc and Crepus would chastise for not getting up in the mornings when really he was just experiencing pain he was unable to communicate
Kaeya who had to learn that being in too much pain to function was not and option for him
Kaeya who gets called a “slacker” because he can’t simultaneously pretend to be okay and be a useful member of society, so he does his work in the shadows where his weakness can’t be perceived
Kaeya who spends his nights drinking because alcohol works better than painkillers
Kaeya who Jean doesn’t understand but tries to be kind to as she gives him time off for reasons she doesn’t understand and he won’t explain
Kaeya who Lisa gives tea instead of wine because she understands firsthand what herbs help with pain
Kaeya who Klee hugs as he struggles in pain because she cares about him even if she doesn’t understand why he’s hurting
Kaeya who finally tells Diluc the truth after decades of hiding it, expecting mockery, but instead finding solace and comfort in his once estranged brother as he realizes he doesn’t have to suffer through this alone
Kaeya who immediately regrets this as Diluc now cuts him off earlier at the bar and forces him to “go home and get some rest” instead
for your first anniversary as a couple, alhaitham gifts you a novel he thinks you'd enjoy and has annotated for the past few weeks (he can finish a book in one sitting, but for you he chose to read through the novel carefully to fully grasp the meaning behind the words)
you were silent as you carefully skimmed through the pages filled with his familiar handwriting and little colorful sticky tabs stuck on certain parts of the pages that indicate which sentences or paragraphs reminded him of you.
looking up to him, you couldn't find the words to express just how touched you were. "'haithie, you didn't —"
"have to get you anything, yes." he said, finishing your sentence for you. "i just happened to see that book while i was in the book store a few weeks ago and thought that you may enjoy it."
"seems like i'm always on your mind, huh?" you grinned, hugging the book close to your chest. "you even annotated it for me, lemme read an entry..."
before you could even find a page to settle on, alhaitham closed the book shut. "my mind is constantly plagued by you ... but i don't mind it." his cheeks were flushed pink as he looked away from you. "read it once you're home."
not wanting to overwhelm your already flustered boyfriend, you put the book safely into your bag and continued to enjoy the nice dinner date to celebrate your anniversary.
once you were home, you opened the novel to the very first page to see that alhaitham wrote a short note:
'to my (y/n), the one who has managed to capture my heart, the one who my soul loves, here's to the first of many anniversaries we'll have.
gender neutral reader, oneshot, fluff, pining(?), mentions of alcohol, drunk n deep confessions, some cursing cause it’s me lol and uhhhh letting you guys know that writing sappy shit about this nerd is making me cry ok */casually ignores that i've been letting this blog rot for a month
alhaitham knows.
he has read and flipped over many books and scrolls alike that dictated his swerve of knowledge. with each new concept and information that the scribe meticulously and flawlessly engraves onto his genius of a mind, that whisper of curiosity ringing in his mind inevitably becomes one with his mind, a drop of water compared to the ocean of knowledge he possesses. it’s a simple notion to grasp—with just a bit of research and reading, even the most difficult of your ‘i don’t know’s transposes to the abstract of you, ‘knowing’. in conclusion, with the amount of books he has stuck his nose into—alhaitham knows a lot.
alhaitham also knows of…you.
a vibrant yet charming personality that clashes against his air of nonchalance and authority, a being that comes close to becoming the most annoying thing right next to his loud and boisterous roommate. almost. your shining naivety and humor attracts many people, a big contrast to the looks that flick away from his gaze when he unintentionally meets them. stubborn and always wearing your heart on your sleeve—alhaitham wonders if you both could get any more different. perhaps, the only thing you both share would be the prestige as well-renowned scholars. he prefers it that way—just two acquaintances that'll never be more. you can just stay you, and he'll stay as himself.
alhaitham also knows of your feelings towards him.
the shy glances you think he doesn't notice, the stutters in your tone whenever you communicate with him, the redness of your face when he says something positive about you, the fiddling of your thumbs as you attempt to gather courage to speak up or when silence comes down uncomfortably upon both of you. it's rather amusing watching you fumble whenever he appears, especially when kaveh himself is starting to raise a brow, dread on his features when he notices your changes of demeanor around the scribe. as a mere feeble scholar, he shouldn’t be one to judge, but it’s glaringly obvious by now.
alhaitham also knows its undoubtedly, love.
it is the only logical and plausible label to put on those feelings of yours. love. it is…quite foreign to him, but not all that new either. he has received it from his grandmother’s caring embrace, his deceased parents’ written letters, his friends that he plays genius invocation tcg with, even his nation’s benevolent archon. it’s normal for living beings to have some type of empathic feeling or relationship shared between each other—an emotional connection. but the man is quite sure that in order for a person to feel compelled towards another, the latter would at least acquire their respect of some sorts, or have some familiarity in the first place. friendship is crossed out when it comes to the both of you, and he’s quite certain he has not done anything worthy of your affection and attention, so what's up?
he knows many things, ranging from the entirety of the desert's ancient alphabet, to how much cups of water an average plant living in natlan’s harsh weather conditions would need in its entire lifespan. but what alhaitham doesn’t know and understand is…why.
why do you like him? his intellect? most of your close friends already have that quirk, so what would make him any different? because of his looks? no, it can’t be. the amount people have told him that his blunt and sharp personality completely outdoes the perks of dating a handsome man. (he personally disagrees. what’s wrong with having a straightforward boyfriend?) perhaps his title? the whole acting grand sage is something he has left behind a long time ago, and last time he has checked, the scribe and its purpose wasn’t anything worthwhile of piqued interest. curiosity of his standoffish behavior? who would be be attracted to a labeled ‘indefinite asshole’ unless they were crazy? he could keep asking himself why, why, why, yet he still wouldn’t have a proper answer.
maybe he should invest time into upping his emotional intelligence it seems. but for now, this would suffice.
—a confrontation. he's good at these as a straightforward person. is he proud of it? probably.
“why do you like me?” he quips up on one faithful night, swirling the drink in his hand as if it was the most interesting thing he’s seen.
the usually loud tavern is now silenced in hushed whispers, patroons either dead asleep, on the verge of fainting, or have already left completely. the only ones particularly awake in this alcohol reeking place would be himself, and the other companion he’s with—you.
a certain architect had invited all his friends to celebrate his long awaited completion of one of his project, and alhaitham, despite deciding to decline at first, went along with it with a bit of persuasion from the general mahamantra. that bit of persuasion may or may not have included the complete termination of his salary and job as a scribe, but alhaitham digresses. cyno was most likely joking even with that stone cold face of his, but the scribe really wouldn’t want to deal with all the trouble it’d cause if what he said were to be true. as payback, he arrives late on purpose to spite cyno and everyone else.
since kaveh invited all of his close friends, of course that included you, not that alhaitham cares. (💀) it’s just simply an opportunity presented before he even thought about how to approach
most of the night, everyone was just sharing stories and other trivial matters that alhaitham fully resolves to let in inside one ear, and out the other. he likes the wine though.
“kaveh, is that…boogers up your nose?”
“wait, HAHAHAH—”
“i treat you all drinks and this is how you guys repay me?!”
eventually enough, as laughters and chatters died down with each passing swig of alcohol, the man of the party is outside the tavern somewhere puking his insides out with the chief forest ranger tagging along to shove medicinal herbs down his throat, while the oh-so feared and almighty general mahamantra is passed out on the table, his jackal eared hoodie carelessly tossed aside. other guests like faruzan and dori have already left long ago, which now leaves him with you, if he’s dismissing the snoozing warrior right across from him. strange friend group, but it’s better than having no friends at all.
“you already figured it out, huh.” your cheerful voice too is dwindled down by the after effects of alcohol. alhaitham removes his gaze from his cup to glance at you. “not surprised.”
“it’s hard to not notice.” he replies shortly, eyeing your sluggish movement to reach for another cup. “you don’t have to answer. it’s just a harmless question born from my curiosity.”
“no, no, i’ll tell you.” you insist with a dry laugh, possibly trying to suppress the awkwardness in the air. “it must be weird, for me to like you whilst barely even knowing you.”
“it’s not weird. i just can’t draw out a proper explanation for the reason of your feelings.”
you snap your head to look at him incredulously, as if he had grown an extra head.
“so there's something the revered genius alhaitham doesn't know?! aha!” your gloomy face immediately lit up, taking him by surprise. “never thought i'd live to see this day!”
he frowns in return, “...i'm only a mere human in the end. whoever imposed the image the i knew everything is simply acquit deficit.”
“—there goes your way of using big words again.” you let out a sigh. “it's nothing serious really. it's just that i'm quite used to turning to you whenever there's something i'm stumped on, so seeing you like this just...relieves me, i guess?”
as you down yet another cup of sake, alhaitham briefly ponders, his expression easing up.
was conversation with you always this easy?
he shakes his head. it's just the effects of alcohol. right? right.
“so will you answer my question or not?”
“…you really don’t know?” you ask one more time. reason? probably reassurance for a go sign. does it get him even more impatient? yes. hotel? triva—
“i would not ask you if i already knew. does hanging out with kaveh cause this much of a disturbance in your head—”
“dude! i was just asking! calm your tits!”
his eye twitches. “my what?”
you heave out a joyous laugh at his small display of disgust, “gosh, you’re so fun to tease.” mindlessly circling the rim of your cup with your finger, an urge to add ‘makes me wanna kiss you’ arises but you should probably keep it to yourself for your sake in the meantime. making him uncomfortable in the off chance he doesn't actually have an interest in you is the last thing you should do.
a rather comfortable silence drops, enveloping you both in a soothing atmosphere of the quiet tavern.
your hand raises to shyly fix your collar, your face turning more and more pink as the alcohol slowly but surely takes over your senses. courage is getting built up, then you finally decided to speak up—
“i like you,” you start, warranting his gaze and attention once more. why are his eyes so needlessly beautiful?
you almost laugh at the way he seems unbothered, yet the glint in his eyes tell that he couldn’t be any more anticipating.
“—for no reason at all.” you emphasize it, sticking out a tongue at his blank yet calculating look. probably taking a second to process your words.
frowning once more, he opens his mouth to say something until you boldly decided to bring a finger up to his lips, keeping them sealed and shut. you smirk up at him as he raises an eyebrow, somehow stupefied in a way.
“love isn’t what you think it is, genius. i can already tell you’re going to say it’s senseless or some other big word that i’ve only ever seen in textbooks. but it is what it really is—i like you, actually no,” removing your index finger from his lips, it maneuvers back to his forehead, poking it playfully. “i love you. zero reason, zero rationality. i simply feel this way towards you because you’re you.”
“…”
your cunning smirk disappears nearly as fast as it came, your previous bashful and joyful demeanour swiftly returning. “hehe, i love alhaitham! i love, love, love him so much!”
no reason at all...?
solely driven by pure rationality as the sturdy scholar he is, alhaitham is even more stumped now, unable to fully wrap his head around the subject.
loving him would mean that you somehow see a future with or within him, right? wait no, you just said there wasn't a single reason you liked him. then would that mean you discarded all his qualities and just chose to love him? that doesn't sound right though.
“it's been five seconds. still no essay worthy conclusions being formed in that big head of yours?” the teasing tilt to your tone mildly irritates him.
“...no.” he answers in honesty.
“of course not. that's because it wasn't a question needed to be answered nor concluded.” you sigh in content and annoyance at the same time as you slump over the table, forehead down against the wooden furniture whilst he raises a brow yet again.
“this is unnecessarily complicated. you really don't have a reason to like—no, love someone like me?”
you mutter something along the lines of 'what do you even mean someone like you. idiot.' of that which he deliberately ignores, watching as your stare grows distant somewhere along the walls of the tavern.
“...if i loved you with reason, then wouldn't that just be admiration? being attracted to a certain aspect of your character doesn't call for being in love immediately. in my case...” your eyes grow a tad bit more lidded, he notices. “...i like to think that love is just an branch snapped off of admiration. i lost all sense, reason, perhaps even morality when said branch was cut off, whereas that certain attractive aspect of you slowly got drowned out when i overlooked the depths of your personality, it eventually became nothing to me.”
shifting in your seat to accommodate a more comfortable position, you start fiddling with your hair in boredom. he continues listening.
“...love is a weird concept to grasp as everyone has their own ways of viewing it, but i think i understood more of it in general when i came to terms with the fact that there's nothing really attractive about you, yet still somehow feel my heart beat faster around you. you're a charming man in my standards. perhaps that's why i was drawn to you but in the end...i only chose to love you because i just felt it was right.”
just right? alhaitham briefly frowns in contemplation. you loved him based from intuition?
“i don't see a future with you, nor do i seek it. i also don't see anything that stands out to me when i look into you. i simply love you because i love you. does it makes sense?”
no it doesn't, he wants to reply but alhaitham keeps his mouth shut. is this your way of saying that you don’t need his answer to your much obvious feelings?
as you throw him a sheepish smile and it leaves him breathless, he lets his mind float away in his intricate array of knowledge and indulges himself for a split moment.
whether it's the substantial weight of your understanding towards an abstract concept like love itself, or the way you look so pleasant with the dim lights accompanying smell of alcohol and expensive perfume, he does not wish to know.
because alhaitham already knows.
very, very well that his heart has now been captured and held hostage in your unconsciously clammy hands. rudely and unannounced at that.
—all because of a love made from zero logic.
cyno heard everything btw and is silently fist pumping the air cuz now reader will finally shut up about alhaitham and his massive badonkers (or will they ? dunno i will now slep snd probably disappear again for another month UwU🥰)
••• if there's any pronoun errors/typos please comment it down!
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