Howdy, Folks

Roland from Shellfish Corp. here. Found a strange little device in Floatsam Vale, and it seems like other have too. Figured I'd make an account and join in.

[just-a-drawing-bean]

...

I can explain

[chitan13423]

IS THIS REAL CHAT

[inkertonthesquid]

What the shuck is this.

[pagurustheravenous]

Sick crabitalist. Kril would never humor such thoughts. Never with the likes of him. With @roland-shellfishcorpofficial, maybe.-

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

He tried to kill me. I doubt it.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

Your production has left pollution near my grove, and has corrupted some portions of my land. You may do what you wish with your area, but the grove and it’s flora are under my jurisdiction. If you disrespect my land and requests, I shall gravely disrespect yours.

This is a polite and calculated threat to your wellbeing.

—Topoda Odontoda

I dont control the gunk, but I'll have my workers build reinforcements to keep anymore from flowing into the Grove.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

I bet you could go clothes shopping at build a bear workshop

...The shuck is a bear?

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

Is Red your preferred color for your clothes or is it just the one you have in abundance?

Yeah, it's my preferred color. It goes well with the yellow parts of me. I try other colors occasionally though.

[inkertonthesquid]

The small whelk is attempting to fight Roland, though they have this... thing on, it's an awful bit of clothing, speakin about 'cleanin the place up'.

Waiting for Roland to give me the que.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

Honestly, can't even take the bottomfeeder seriously like this. I'm not even sure if they're worth fighting.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

i will pick you up and put you in an aquarium with little plastic treasure chests and a plastic home for you to lie down and enjoy a luxurious life with good food and fun outfits and maybe even a plastic bag under a water filter for you to stare at as it flaps like a tiny fake fire. all you need to do is dont be mean (optional) 🥰

...Maybe when I retire, I'll take up that offer.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

Does Inkerton have any special employee benefits from being your bodyguard? Like does he get paid more or do you supply his 'tools' so to speak?

Yeah, he gets paid more, since the job as a bodyguard is rather dangerous. I also provide him tools.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

Opinion on cuttlefish?

They're cute, I suppose. Don't see em very often because they eat crabs, so civilization is build far from where they live.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

What’s Inkerton’s sexuality?

Beats me. He never told me, and as far as I know, he ain't ever been on any dates.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

imagine only being gay for a month. im gay for the whole YEAR . get on my level

And here it is. You know that was just a skit, right? I'm not actually gay for a year. I'm pansexual all year around.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

how do you feel about kril?

Well, he's better than everyone else in New Carcinia, I'll tell you that. Quite the fighter, and doesn't even care for microplastics, so I don't gotta worry about any rivalry in the economy. Not real smart though. Trespassed on private property for a shell that didn't even come CLOSE to costing a fortune.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

why do you look so tired. go take a nap or sumn bro

Hours of paperwork. People really underestimate how tiring my job is just because I'M not the one doing physical labor.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

why does flotsam vale smell so bad. and look so bad. why does flotsam vale suck.

Gunk. No matter how much you clean up, it'll come right back. Not worth trying to get rid of it anymore. We can only try to keep our distance while working.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

How did you meet Inkerton? :3

Found him gunked up in an alleyway, fighting someone for food from the dumpster. Didn't want a gunk pandemic in the city, so I called some doctors to get him.

His brain had already been permanently altered by the gunk by the time they got it out of his system. He was violent and cruel to everyone around him, and no one wanted him. So I took him in. I knew he couldn't be raised as a child anymore. He'd make for a good body guard though. And he did.

[duchessmagista]

you lack swag

NO!! I HAVE THE BEST SWAG OF THE SEVEN SEAS!!

[chitan13423]

"LOL." "LMAO" EVEN.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

Stop harassing the Duchess, bottomfeeder.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

I HAVE PUT CHEMICALS IN THE WATER THAT TURN THE CEPHALOPODS GAYYYYYYY!!!

...Now why the shuck would you do that?

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

Female squid lay hundreds of eggs. With that being said, where are Inkerton’s siblings? I know they exist, where are they, you mantis shrimp snack?

Careful who you're insulting, bottomfeeder. To answer your question, most people don't want to deal with all those kids. His parents probably only kept one egg and put the rest up for adoption. I don't know where they are now, and I don't really care.

[confusedeldritch]

Do you even know what a mantis shrimp is?

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

Course I do. I ain't an idiot.

[confusedeldritch]

Then you should know that there are two types of mantis shrimps, smashers and spearers. Smashers are more commonly known and smash open the shells of their prey. Spearers are less known and hide in burrows where they ambush their prey and drag them down into the pits where they reside.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

I know that.

[confusedeldritch]

…..How do you know all this? Most isopods I know don’t even know what a mantis shrimp is.

[roland-shellfishcorpofficial]

Did my research. Knowledge is power, after all.