Girlpool—Before the World Was Big // memorial bench quoting Toni Morrison's Sula // @inanotherunivrse // Iain S. Thomas, I Wrote This For You // Zadie Smith, Swing Time // Fall Out Boy—The Kids Aren't Alright // Audrey Emmett // Mikko Harvey, "For M" // Mahmoud Darwish, Memory for Forgetfulness: August, Beirut, 1982 (tr. Ibrahim Muhawi) // Langston Hughes, "Poem"
i hope im not bothering you by any chance but i was wondering
do you perhaps have any winterwidow or romy fics recommendations?
I don’t read many romy fics but I shall direct you to @remysrogue for recs
as for winterwidow, oh baby. I have so many, and I went through my bookmarks for this.
literally anything by @missmorwen, @medeafive and pinklights. their fics back in 2016-2019 got me hooked onto buckynat for life
however, some favs by medeafive are Stone Cold Sober, I'm not the one who wants to hurt you, Say it ain't so, write our name in blood and in flowers of flame, We'll figure it out
and by missmorwen - Memory Lane (I cannot tell you how many times I've read this series over the years, it's one of my absolute favs), Burn With Me, And A Bed That’s Too Big (Because You’re Not in It), Rhapsody in Red, Oh Say Can You See, And Always Will Until the End, Morning after, A Tie That We Cannot Break
some favs of mine written by pinklights are - This Isn't A Roadtrip (buckynat + bucky and kate bishop road trip), A Kiss With A Fist Is Better Than None (the americans au), The Best of the Best (And the Worst of the Worst), Homemade Dynamite, Let's Be Bad Together, buckynat cinematic universe, Your Life And Mine Are Parallel Lines, we're made of similar stuff
many many fics that taralkariel wrote - What Did You Think Would Happen?, Head Is Not My Home, Functional, Road to War
If Love Wants You by blessedharlot - post-CW reunion
You Could At Least Remember Me by tuesdaymidnight - post-CW memory crisis
Remembering What It Is To Be Human by tuesdaymidnight - natasha having messed up ideas about manipulation using sex due to the red room, and then goes into a crisis because she truly falls in love with bucky
You Were a Kindness When I Was a Stranger by napricot - murder road trip
someday somebody will come and find you by napricot - post-endgame memory crisis
and in which darkness by anomalocaris - this one is such a classic. one of my favs. cold war buckynat
Who The Hell Is Steve? by Lsusanna - this one is soooo good. an au where steve fell off the train and became the winter soldier and bucky crashed the plane, ending up in the 21st century.
One More Troubled Soul by sara_holmes - another one with the same premise but with stevetony along with buckynat.
this bullet lodged in my chest, covered with your name by Cinaed - natasha goes through a memory crisis
Some Of The Colors Have To Fade by impertinence - another murder road trip
a case of you by irnan - post-TWS fic
Suffocating by sammiewilson (softlyspiraling) - killingeve au!!
everything i've ever been, belonged to you the second you claimed it by indieheadmeltdown - post-CW reunion
the bass and the fading light by stars_inthe_sky - date night by beating up criminals
Paris, 1956 by Wikiaddicted723 - cold war paris fic
remember me to by steshka by andibeth82 - yet another buckynat murder roadtrip
Coffee Grounds by kingaofthewoods - bucky's time as the winter soldier has been permanently wiped, including his time in the red room with natasha
Soviets in Love - another red room/memory loss fic
Those Isles of Yours by snark - buckynat working for the soviet union during the vietnam war
Lady Lazarus by JonBonHovis - a natasha-centric fic of her life from the red room to SHIELD and the avengers
Love-Tricks by snark - flirty nat
You Give Love a Bad Name by NotEvenCloseToStraight - sexual tension obv because it's a mr and mrs smith au
Lived and Loved by bellagerantalii - red room/memory loss
Unbreakable by Serenity_V - mcu/616 fusion red room fic
a disaster in two acts by shewritesall - bucky meets widowfam as natasha's bf
Of Felines, Fiancées and Family Reunions by Green_Angst_And_Ham - black widow movie compliant. another bucky meets widowfam as natasha's bf. alpine and liho are present
you shine around me like a million suns by girl0nfire - buckynat wwII au
I Think We Need Each Other by nataliasromanoff - undercover as married, enemies to lovers
The Buck To The Future Trilogy by Ultra - bucky didn't fall from the train and was on the plane with steve
a falling star can't fall forever by Mizzy - international iron man/mr. and mrs. smith au
And All I See is White and Red by Sarma, TeyrianTimelord - ww1/russian revolution au
Paris Holds The Key (To Your Heart) by madxasahatter, xthemarchharex - post ww2 au. nat is a ballerina
yeah bc who was going to warn me that a 1700s period tv drama was gonna have a gay, forbidden lover, enemies to lovers, footmen trope that was going to drive me insane? WHO???
I think a lot of Eloise's anger about Penelope being Lady Whistledown comes down to it being the very last person she expected. Eloise imagined Lady W being this emancipated woman, living off her own riches, poking fun at society from outside of it. That Lady W didn't have to conform to the normal expectations of women, to marry and have babies and obey their husbands. She says it herself in S1, I think it was episode 2 or 3. But for that reality to not be the case, that Lady W was in fact a member of the ton, and someone who did have to conform, and did have to marry was a real blow to this fantasy.
That, of course and the fact that it was Penelope. Of course, she has resentment that Penelope was her best friend and lied to her, and exposed her secrets, especially after Eloise was honest and truthful in their friendship. However, I think it's a bit deeper than that. The awful truth is, I don't believe Eloise thought Penelope was cleverer than her. That's not to say that Eloise believed Penelope to be dumb, but she thought they were the same. That they both held the same beliefs but that Eloise was better and a bigger advocate for those beliefs. And Eloise doesn't like having to confront the fact that Penelope actually does want what many other women are supposed to want, and that Eloise is somewhat unconventional and alone in her outspoken beliefs. And Penelope doesn't want to disappoint Eloise so she does, in many ways, hide her desires, and tries to agree with Eloise's beliefs about womanhood and feminism.
That Penelope was smart, clever, and even manipulative and jaded is not a welcome surprise for Eloise. That she didn't know her friend -- even though we know that Penelope did not hide so much as she was overlooked -- is a betrayal. Penelope has always been kind, sweet and very much a sidekick to Eloise. To learn that Penelope was her own leading lady is not welcome, especially when she was leading Eloise on a goose chase.
Something in the books really resonates here too. Colin's worry that if Penelope is discovered as Lady W, it would have her cast out of society, while if someone like Cressida were to be recognized as Lady W would have them be applauded. Because Penelope is not popular, so she cannot be clever and gain notoriety through a pen name. Cressida would be able to remain in society even if she were unmasked as Lady W because she is popular, and even though she's probably recognized as a b*tch, she's a b*tch the ton are comfortable with and the one they would applaud as being so clever to get away with it.
I think Eloise believes the same. She would rather it be Cressida, or probably more like Lady Danbury, because she expects it and because it goes with what she believed. But it cannot be the 'frumpy, unpopular, unattractive' girl like Penelope. Because that's a blow to their ego, that they were misled by someone so... unpopular, a 'loser'. That's not to say that Eloise is so unkind she's always thinking her friend is a loser. But she knows, at least subconsciously, that she is more popular (at the very least because of her station and her family, even if she doesn't recognize that her beauty is a factor as well). And while Eloise has different views on marriage and feminism that may be considered radical, she is still in many ways a product of her environment, and does not take kindly to someone she thinks as 'less' socially to hold one over on her. And I don't mean class. Eloise likely would have been pleased too if it was a maid or something because that would be so clever. But Penelope, a member of the ton, who's not even as cool or outspoken as her? Not likely.
I'm not dismissing Eloise's rightful anger at having her secrets aired out (although I do understand Penelope's dilemma and decision - better for the Bridgerton's to suffer a small scandal than to be involved in a fight with the Queen and dragged down completely). But pay attention to what Eloise says. "I do not even know you. I look at you and all I feel is pity for you. Sequestered here in this very room writing your secret little scandal sheet, tarnishing everyone in town all because you are too scared to stand up for yourself in reality. You are something Penelope, an insipid wallflower indeed."
These words are cutting to the heart of the matter. Penelope is a wallflower, Penelope is unpopular. Penelope could never have accomplished something so clever. All she did was write a little scandal sheet... although it's not little at all, is it?
Let's not forget that before Eloise got in over her head with the Queen, she was obsessed with Lady W because she admired her. Penelope changed Lady W to Eloise's preferences, because she wanted, in some way, to be clever the way Eloise likes people to be clever. Even though it is nothing to scoff at for a woman to be a popular column writer, especially in those days, even if it is for a 'scandal sheet'. But that was one way women had power back in those days, was through what they said, and the rumors that swirled. Penelope has a lot of power through her pen, because she can make and unmake a family. She got rid of Daphne's odious suitor. The women started a rumor, and Penelope wrote about it, and the next day the man had to leave town. Not because of a mere rumor -- because of a PUBLISHED rumor. And while those rumors can fade, as they do, it let Daphne be free to get courted by Simon.
Eloise still hasn't actually confronted her privilege. Theo did tell her, "hey, guess what, you're super privileged and you're putting me in a bad spot." And while she does end up understanding that in the end, breaking things off with Theo, she's still not actually understanding her privilege amongst the ton. Eloise's sister is a duchess, her brother is a viscount. A little rebellion by running around with political radicals will not destroy her. She is still very much a desired connection people would want. Something Penelope knows.
But Penelope herself, as herself, has no power. "too scared to stand up for yourself in reality." And what exactly is Penelope supposed to do? She is not the popular girl with suitors lining up for her. She's not the rich girl who's money can protect her or who's father can protect her. She's a girl with no influence herself. Every time she's tried to help someone as herself, she's been dismissed. When she warned Colin, he dismissed her. When she begged Marina, she dismissed her. When she spoke to her mother, she dismissed her. When she warned Eloise, she dismissed her. So she made herself influential through a pen name.
How can Penelope stand up for herself? She can't without someone like a Bridgerton in her corner. Eloise can insult Cressida in defense of Penelope, but Penelope can't do it herself without feeling actual consequences. But Eloise will never feel any consequence for dismissing Cressida or anyone else, barring someone above her station.
Only a great scandal can destroy Eloise... such as cavorting with a man unchaperoned... and something, again, Penelope warns her about. Of course, Penelope has ulterior motives as well. She doesn't want Eloise to discover her secret. But this is still a big risk that Eloise is taking, which is what Penelope warns her of and is dismissed. Eloise not only risks herself but her family's reputation there too. And while, again, the scandal may not last long, especially not for her brothers, it will affect Eloise as being, the dreaded term... 'spoiled goods'.
And that can feel like a double standard. I mean, Penelope is alone with Colin... then again, Penelope doesn't exactly have a reputation to protect. No one would believe her to be a seductress when they spend so much time dismissing her. And no one would consider Colin to be interested in her since, once again, she's not on their radar. Eloise's privilege is a double edged sword, though she benefits from it more than she doesn't.
It's not fair. But it is a reality. And I think it's a disservice to women of the time not to show how they are punished for standing out. Eloise is loud and brash and suffers little to no consequences for it. If that were actually the case, a girl is often sent to a mad house or married off quickly or some other way to silence her and stifle her. But Eloise has brothers who love her and will protect her. This is a privilege. The first time she feels any censure is through Lady W's pamphlet, but again, it is something that can be brushed aside with her family's protection, though it had the unfortunate timing of coinciding with a broken engagement.
I don't really think the blame is only on one party. Penelope also made a lot of mistakes. That's not to say I think that Penelope owed it to Eloise to reveal that she's Lady W, or reveal her secret to the queen to spare Eloise. Eloise started that battle despite Penelope's warnings and got in the cross hairs of the queen for it. Penelope shouldn't have to sacrifice herself. Also Penelope sharing Lady W with Eloise is taking away something that belongs to her. Eloise would, I think, seriously try to take over the narrative of Lady W if she knew. Already Penelope feels pressured to change Lady W for Eloise's admiration, so I do think that if Eloise knew who Penelope was before hand, Penelope would lose it to her completely, and it would have turned completely into Eloise's pamphlet (which honestly would have led to more problems because Eloise would forgo subtle criticism and instead loudly criticize societal norms). Eloise is overwhelming, and Penelope is a pushover, especially when it comes to her friend who she doesn't want to lose.
But there were better ways she could have gone about it. She could have warned Violet that Colin and Marina were planning on eloping and told her to push for a long engagement instead. She could have told Violet that Eloise had gotten into trouble with the Queen. I mean, I think those are her only options really. Neither would have spared her mother from being furious with her or Eloise thinking she betrayed her by telling Violet... but it would have been minimal damage in comparison. Then again, there is the big risk that it wouldn't work because, as I said, Penelope is regularly dismissed.
In the end, yes, Penelope was a bad friend. And she's not a particularly helpful or good daughter/ sister / cousin. Then again, her family hasn't been very kind to her either and Eloise has overlooked her as well. Is Eloise the biggest victim? No. That would be Marina, who, I would argue, ended in a better situation than if she had married Colin. Did Penelope have a duty to fix her mistakes and repair the reputations of people she ruined? I don't think so. It would have been nice but... people have to be able to recover on their own, and a lot of things can only really be fixed with time or a new scandal. The worst harm she did was to herself and her family. She feels the consequences of her actions too. Is Eloise a victim? Yes, but better the victim of a scandal sheet than the victim of the Queen. Does Penelope need redemption? No. I don't think so. Penelope is complex and already experiences the pain of what she does and the consequences of all her actions. She knows what she puts other people through as well.
Anyway, thank you for reading to the end of my rant. I probably contradicted myself somewhere in there but... oh well. Just my thoughts.
Served cunt, caused problems, took names, healed generational trauma, made bank, gave face, rode dick, a whole MOTHER (metaphorically and literally) at the age of 20.
Penelope Bridgerton; they can never make me hate you.
Debling is not a bad man. He is not a "bad" option. He's forthright, shows attraction to Pen, has interest in her intelligence, and has a sense of humor that compliments her own. Yes, he also has oodles of money and a title.
But, he isn't giving her even the slightest promise to try for love. He's going to be gone 3 years at a time. And Penelope is the richest woman in London, per the books and likely the show as well.
These last three things mean he is also not a good option for Penelope.
She wants love. She is very clear with him about this, both when they discuss romance books and in their final dance. His replies are that he is happy she has a passion for her reading and then that she is beautiful.
While Pen says she values her privacy, what she actually values is her independence. Privacy allows you to keep a secret. Independence allows you to openly be yourself.
Pen. Does. Not. Need. Money. She needs an escape from her overbearing mother and petty sisters. She is choosing to marry in society so that she can still participate in it, and thus continue LW, but she has more than enough money to leave England entirely should she wish.
Colin is entirely in step with Pen as soon as he understands that he loves her. They were already best friends with all the humor, warmth, and affection that comes with that bond. He adores that she is so smart and witty. He is seriously so very attracted to her as evidenced by him going feral not long after their kiss.
He's not going to leave her behind. Even book Colin is very clear, Penelope is his home. And he will not be parted from her willingly. They would travel together, never apart.
He has money of his own, but no title. Penelope doesn't need either of those things as mentioned above. But he is a part of society, which is a nice bonus for her LW work.
Colin loves Penelope with all of his heart and soul. He gave it to her on a platter without her even needing to ask. He just had to know he loved her to give her all of him.
I think it's inevitable that Penelope will have independence to be herself with Colin, too. It's their destiny. Will it be a struggle? Yes. Will it hurt? Undoubtedly. But Colin and Pen are meant to be equals. That is what friends to lovers has to contain. Friends to lovers is balance, harmony, a dance.
Picking between Debling and Colin is like picking between a beautiful maze like mansion with too many rooms where sighs echo off of gorgeous furnishings but is so, so empty and cold and the small cottage that fits just right and is filled with cozy warm fuzzy feelings with a blooming garden outside and an always warm hearth and a sweet little sofa with your favorite comfy blanket and it is always Sunday morning with no chores to do.
Even if Penelope had been presented both options side by side, which she wasn't, she always would have picked Colin. Pen was only picking Debling when she felt to her very bones that Colin was not an option. Then Debling removed himself as an option which made Penelope believe she had no options at all until the carriage scene.
To Pen her choices were: haunted maze mansion or nothing then cottage of her dreams or nothing. Of course she was going to reluctantly accept the mansion over nothing and of course she was going to leap at her dream cottage as soon as she knew it existed.
Debling is not a bad man. He is not a "bad" option. He's forthright, shows attraction to Pen, has interest in her intelligence, and has a sense of humor that compliments her own. Yes, he also has oodles of money and a title.
But, he isn't giving her even the slightest promise to try for love. He's going to be gone 3 years at a time. And Penelope is the richest woman in London, per the books and likely the show as well.
These last three things mean he is also not a good option for Penelope.
She wants love. She is very clear with him about this, both when they discuss romance books and in their final dance. His replies are that he is happy she has a passion for her reading and then that she is beautiful.
While Pen says she values her privacy, what she actually values is her independence. Privacy allows you to keep a secret. Independence allows you to openly be yourself.
Pen. Does. Not. Need. Money. She needs an escape from her overbearing mother and petty sisters. She is choosing to marry in society so that she can still participate in it, and thus continue LW, but she has more than enough money to leave England entirely should she wish.
Colin is entirely in step with Pen as soon as he understands that he loves her. They were already best friends with all the humor, warmth, and affection that comes with that bond. He adores that she is so smart and witty. He is seriously so very attracted to her as evidenced by him going feral not long after their kiss.
He's not going to leave her behind. Even book Colin is very clear, Penelope is his home. And he will not be parted from her willingly. They would travel together, never apart.
He has money of his own, but no title. Penelope doesn't need either of those things as mentioned above. But he is a part of society, which is a nice bonus for her LW work.
Colin loves Penelope with all of his heart and soul. He gave it to her on a platter without her even needing to ask. He just had to know he loved her to give her all of him.
I think it's inevitable that Penelope will have independence to be herself with Colin, too. It's their destiny. Will it be a struggle? Yes. Will it hurt? Undoubtedly. But Colin and Pen are meant to be equals. That is what friends to lovers has to contain. Friends to lovers is balance, harmony, a dance.
Picking between Debling and Colin is like picking between a beautiful maze like mansion with too many rooms where sighs echo off of gorgeous furnishings but is so, so empty and cold and the small cottage that fits just right and is filled with cozy warm fuzzy feelings with a blooming garden outside and an always warm hearth and a sweet little sofa with your favorite comfy blanket and it is always Sunday morning with no chores to do.
Even if Penelope had been presented both options side by side, which she wasn't, she always would have picked Colin. Pen was only picking Debling when she felt to her very bones that Colin was not an option. Then Debling removed himself as an option which made Penelope believe she had no options at all until the carriage scene.
To Pen her choices were: haunted maze mansion or nothing then cottage of her dreams or nothing. Of course she was going to reluctantly accept the mansion over nothing and of course she was going to leap at her dream cottage as soon as she knew it existed.
Ok but at season 1 everyone acted like it’s life or death when Daphne and Simon kissed (like literally they dueled). But then season 2 happened, AND THEN ONLY PART OF SEASON 3 HAPPENED (who knows what else will happen). When Colin actually broke every social standard hanging out with Pen alone unchaperoned at night, inviting her to his house with no one around, kissing her, dancing with her all the time, talking to her at every ballroom, interrupting her fucking dance with someone else, chasing her out of every ballroom, getting in a carriage alone with her, doing some other things with her yk… And I just love how they’re breaking more society rules each season, and each season society seems to care less.
They created a strange tableau: rabid boy, trapped girl, bombed-out building. It suggested a tale that could only end in tragedy. Star-crossed lovers meeting their fate. A revenge story turned in on itself. A war saga that took no prisoners.
titsay
stormborns
gummygunk
