Rose Exposed

Just talking about life and things

[roseexposed]

Calling Men Sir...

I just realized today, that my ex, who is a narcissist made me feel like it was a problem to FORMALLY call men sir.

When I use the term Sir, it is to address men, or men presenting people. but she said that I shouldn't call men sir because they might get the wrong idea.

Its either formal or condescending. How is it my problem if someone else takes it differently?! Whaaaaa?

[roseexposed]

I forgot ya'll exsisted...

I forgot i even had a tumblr. WOW.

I have been diagnosed with migraines which does cause some major memory problems, didn't realize they were that significant.

A lot has changed in my life. and I mean A LOT.

I am learning Russian and dating a Russian, more on that in the future. If i remember.

I live on my own, and am starting work this week.

Life is finally moving forward.

[fluffygif]

Baby Otter

[roseexposed]

omg :3

[roseexposed]

Its okay, to not be okay. Speak out. don't let society silence you.

You are not alone.

We all have bad days, we all have moods that are overwhelming, we all have days that we are weak. We are taught to hide that side of us. Like it's bad, or unnatural.

But why?

Why hide what's real? Why fear judgement when we are struggling? It should be okay to reach out, it IS okay to reach out. Ask for help if you need it.

I want you to know, speaking out isn't wrong, it's isn't an annoyance, it isn't a bother, and you're not a burden.

I'd rather talk you through a hard time, then attend your funeral.

I painted my face for this haha

Photo Cred: @FB.com Taylor Mabel Rose

[roseexposed]

My body was NEVER the problem

Here's a piece of me, my past and what helped shape me into the woman I am today.

I was anorexic for NINE years. When I was 12, my Nana patted my little tummy and told me "suck that gut in". I did. For three years, before all I saw was a 'fat' girl. I stopped eating properly. Minimal amounts, anything I could do to lose weight. Weight I really didn't need to lose. I was 135 lbs. That's fairly small, healthy. I "needed" to be smaller. I had body dysphoria. Skinny girl in a big girls body. But I wasn't big. I'm still not 'big'.

After 7-8 years of eating unhealthily and honestly treating my body like absolute crap, I had my very first anxiety attack, brought on by eating less than 500 calories a day for 2 weeks. I had to change, but at the time I didn't have the tools.

2 years after that. I hit my 9 year mark. It caused me to throw up when I got hungry, be anxious and moody, fatigued and overall I felt super unhealthy. I was at the end of my rope.

I tied a not and I held on for dear life, it was time to tie a knot higher and climb. I started by eating sweets, oh Henry to be precise, that was my breakfast. I'd have half a serving for lunch and eat crap for dinner.

One more year went by, my partner and I walked across Canada to start new. This was when I made a huge change. To eat on time every meal. I had developed some MAJOR stomach problems. I was hungry 24/7 even if I ate. But I ate and I ate and I ate. Sometimes every half an hour. 9 years made my stomach not produce the stomach acid needed, which yes low stomach acid and high stomach acid can give you heartburn and make you hungry.

1 year ago I ended up in the hospital for 5 days non stop throwing up. I was diagnosed with GERD. Another thing I caused by my bad habits.

I've been eating for 2 years every day, on time and now eat a low carb diet but I'm HEALTHY about it. I don't have a then and now picture because I was ashamed.

I'm not telling my story to beat anyone down, but to raise awareness for the issues and dangers of anorexia. I never got hospitalized for nutrition issues, but I have been working and healing for 3 years now.

I BEAT ANOREXIA. You can too!

I am beautiful, I always was. My body was NEVER the problem.

[roseexposed]

I Made It

You may not know me, but I have been to hell and back. Not your hell, my own personal hell. 

From assaults, to abuse, to loneliness, to finally being at a point where I love myself so much, that I have extra to give out to others. 

I was hit and yelled at. It instilled some self hatred and beliefs that I didn't deserve to feel the love that others did. I was so angry, for SO long. 

I decided didn't want to be angry anymore. It took me 2 and a half years to see myself, my worth and in turn, the worth of others. 

I am no longer that person, I no longer hate everyone including myself. I faked it, till I made it. I love myself. I love my body, my attitude and who I have become.  I MADE IT.

You, can make it too.

xoxo

[roseexposed]

Why not?

I decided to make a tumblr this evening, and why not? I have never been a part of this community, and i guess it feels better to write here since someone, somewhere may see it. I love typing, just never had the outlet for it. 

I am 26, fully into anything artistic and full of love! I am who I am. 

Hi, you can call me Rose. 

xoxo