Stats
5'0"
Hw 135lb?
Lw 96lb?
Cw 114.8lb
Gw1 110lb
Gw100lb
Ugw80lb
Ive had ednos since i was about 11 s/h since 11 (clean for a year) addict since i was 15 (besides weed, no troubling behaviors around that since i was about 20) but in my adult life, everytime I get to 100lbs, my body/anxious brain thinks I'm dying and I binge up to like 120 everytime. Went from restrict cycle to binge cycle in 2020, been in binge cycle ever since. I got too comfy last year cause I considered myself recovered because I didn't spiral when i lowt some weight. I spiraled. It was BED. From everyone telling me i looked like i lost weight. Bc i was too big at 130. So we're just gonna spiral the other way cause as much as my restricting brain sucks, my binging body is worse and I am lazy and still obsessed with food so might as well make it work for me. It's always bigger people telling me I have to eat more too so I need to learn how not to be a people pleaser because at the end of the day they go home, I don't see them for a year, and I'm stuck with this body so fuck that. *I feel like this post is a train wreck but whatever there's a wee bit of lore.* more to come
