ohhh my god I just fact-checked, Nolan actually DID cut the "Nobody" scene from his Odyssey movie. Mfer that is like cutting the Father reveal from Star Wars. Let me speak in a language you understand this is like not dressing Batman up in his suit. "It was not possible to work it in" the TikTok musical with a budget of $4 and a scratched Hamilton CD managed to work it in in SONG form, step up your FUCKING GAME
yall i need help on finding this one simon riley fic about him being cowboy and you vandalize his property on a dare and he catches you and he spanks you and yall end up doing the mcnasty
chat. chat. should i write about fire lord zuko eating out waterbender!reader and the whole fucking room is STEAMING? ugh that’s so hot grrrr
and uhm,,, uhm,,, UHM? zuko setting the room on fire because he’s grinding against the bed and he feels so good getting off to eating his WIFE out knowing zuko is most definitely a munch and LIVES to please his dearest wife EUGHHHH OUHHH MMMM.
due to popular demand, i am currently writing this piece as we speak 🙂↕️
here’s a very cute snippet of what im writing hihihi 🥰
all of it felt so hot, so warm, so good.
his eyes dragged across your face as his mouth works to lap you up as much as possible, as wasting a single drop. his tongue heating up when he dips it into your cunt, reveling at the way your back arches at the feeling, your loud gasps echoing through your shared bedchambers.
“p-please, zuko—” you cried out, as you felt your orgasm tightening once more. you had lost count of how many you’ve had, all you could feel, hear, smell, and think of was the fire lord below you.
someone who had just come from a meeting not long ago, acting the most composed and powerful being in all of the fire nation, but was currently humping the bed like a desperate animal, at the mercy of his wife’s cunt like a whore. not that you were any better.
you know that trope where it’s princess + knight, but they’ve both been captured by the bad guys and the princess is now gripped by the jaw by the villain, receiving a thin cut to her cheek while remaining completely still with a defiant look in her eyes even as a droplet of blood begins to trickle out of the wound, all while 3 people AT THE VERY LEAST need to have their hands locked on the knight because he’s thrashing around like a wild animal, trying so so so desperately, violently, to get to her?
chat. chat. should i write about fire lord zuko eating out waterbender!reader and the whole fucking room is STEAMING? ugh that’s so hot grrrr
and uhm,,, uhm,,, UHM? zuko setting the room on fire because he’s grinding against the bed and he feels so good getting off to eating his WIFE out knowing zuko is most definitely a munch and LIVES to please his dearest wife EUGHHHH OUHHH MMMM.
you meet chigiri while he’s cross-dressing at a gay bar and send him a drink shyly assuming he’s a tall pretty girl. he comes up to you and is like sorry to disappoint but i’m a guy and you’re like no no i swing both ways and he smiles like so beautifully at you
he even stays to chat you up and somehow in a few hours you end up with your panties around your ankles in a club bathroom with chigiris head against the bathrooom door, both hands on your ass, holding you up to eat your pussy while you’re on your tip toes and trying to be sooo quiet
horse riding practice with your knight that ends with your mare being spooked and galloping into the forest, leaving you having to share a horse back to the castle; with his huge palms pressing against your stomach as he sits in the saddle behind you, caging you between his thighs with his breath across the back of your neck and his rock-hard cock grinding against your lower back with each of his stallion’s step….
your revenge plan of spending all of husband!gojo’s money doesn’t work if he’s secretly into it. mdni ⟢
APPROVED. AUTHORIZED. SALE SUCCESSFUL.
you’ve completely abandoned reason when it comes to financial responsibility.
store after store, purchase after purchase. you walk around like the world itself could bend to the whims of the little rectangular piece of plastic you’re clutching in your hand. at this point, you’ve treated entire starbucks capacities to a drink, bought extravagant dresses you know you’ll never wear, and a hideous bag that was so ridiculously expensive you almost laughed when you saw the price tag.
each time you slide his card across the chip reader, the little burst of dopamine you feel at the replying green ding makes his impending bank statement worth it.
he deserves this, after all. if he could be so aloof as to let your dinner reservation slip his mind, then surely he wouldn't be keen enough to notice a few extra zeroes trailing every purchase, right?
“would you like a receipt?” the cashier asks politely.
you smile sweetly, “an e-receipt will do, thank you.”
--
back at the apartment, satoru’s laying back against the sectional, his phone rests loosely in his hand, thumb lazily flicking through thread after thread. “how to apologize to your wife,” “how to make it up after standing someone up,” “best apology gifts”— he’s opened so many tabs that at this point they’ve all started blending together into a pitiful reddit concoction within his brain.
he’s just about to click onto another subreddit chain about “apology flowers and their meanings,” when the first notification pops onto the top of his screen.
“a transaction in the amount of $108,923.67 has been detected on your card ending in 8686…”
“huh..” he scoffs, clicking into the message.
“...this is an automated alert for your awareness. no action is required if you recognize this activity. if you do not recognize this transaction, please contact your financial institution immediately using the number on the back of your card...”
a little inkling tells him that it wasn't exactly a thief attempting to drain his card. unless the thief in question was an infuriatingly sexy woman who gets off on raising his blood pressure. he laxly enters his face ID to authorize his access into the bank app. the purchases, he quickly realizes, are flowing in as fast as a live chat. his blue eyes sharpen slightly as the numbers begin to flow in.
oh.
oh, is this what you’re doing now?
10:53 AM POS purchase - stine goya -22,193.67
11:12 AM POS purchase - bottega veneta -19,843.43
11:32 AM POS purchase - loro piana -28,931.41
11:38 AM POS purchase - starbucks -6,784.98
his lip quirks up at that last one, leave it up to his girl to manage to drop 7 racks at a coffee shop. more and more purchases are flowing in by the second, some are couple-hundred purchases at cafes, and others ten-grand payments to random ass brands he’s never even heard of. nonetheless, each one sends a little thrill of pleasure up his spine.
the next warning text comes in, claiming that he's dropped over a million by this point. the message warns that the card has locked, requiring his verification to prove it wasn't stolen and to therefore unlock it. he clicks onto that message and verifies his identity anyway, because he knows this isn't fraud. no, he knows exactly who’s behind this, and what kind of husband would he be if he didn’t enable his wife’s unhealthy spending habits?
he leans his head back against the couch, exhaling through his nose as something warm, and dangerously pleased coils in his chest. much to your impending annoyance, each petty charge has served more to arouse him than irritate him.
11:55 AM POS purchase - balenciaga -47,165.90
“spend it all,” he murmurs to the screen, irregularly pleased for someone actively being robbed. “c’mon babe. don’t go soft on me now.”
his hands slowly inch lower into his sweatpants, freeing his cock from the stiff material. he's mindlessly refreshing the page every few seconds, praying for a new purchase statement to come up. every time a new proof of your financial recklessness updates, his dick twitches in his hand.
louis. throb. gucci. throb.
he leans his head back, his breath coming in short gasps as he brings himself closer to the edge. he can feel the heat building up in his core, the familiar tingle in his spine. he's close, so so close, and all it takes is one more purchase to send him over.
12:00 PM POS purchase - tiffany & co. -136,456.23
his back arches, a low intelligible groan along the lines of that’s my girl escaping his lips as he comes undone. ropes of his translucent cum string over his fist. he’s feeling the tension leave his body after the high, replaced by a warm, satisfied glow. he takes a moment to catch his breath, his eyes still on his phone, then he pulls up your contact.
satoru: hey princess
satoru: don't forget to hit up the bank on the way home, they probably need a massage from all the stress you’ve put them through today;)
so i have something yummy in my drafts, its supposed to be for mystery saja but i might make it for choso since its SAUR choso coded but also maybe yuta, could be toge too EUGH TELL ME IF I SHOULD POST IT CHAT let me give a snippet
“‘Gumi…” You whispered against Megumi’s lips. He was pressing you into the wall. The kiss rushed with his hands on either side of your head so you couldn’t turn away. Megumi didn’t bother to respond choosing to deepen the kiss further by prying your lips open and pushing his tongue in your mouth.
It was messy and so unlike Megumi that you didn’t know what to do except to follow along. You fisted Megumi’s shirt in your hands, tugging him impossibly closer. Megumi made a strange sound and reluctantly pulled away, out of breath. He didn’t pull himself too far, leaning his forehead on yours as he panted in the small space between you two.
“What’s going on with you?” You whispered, a small smile growing on your lips.
“Stop.” Megumi murmured. He wrapped an arm around your waist and tugged you closer, tilting his head down, “Just stop talking and kiss me.”
He really didn’t have to tell you twice.
Megumi leaned forward and slotted his lips in between yours, exhaling through his nose. Right now he didn’t need anything else, just you.
It didn’t take long for the kiss to get heated. Roaming hands and desperate touches. The kiss soon became a clash of lips and teeth and Megumi only wanted you closer. If he could he’d tuck himself right underneath your skin and maybe only then would it be enough.
You moved to pull away, out of breath, but Megumi refused. He placed a hand behind your head to keep you from pulling away and tilted his head closer, desperate to keep his lips on yours. As much as you wanted to keep on kissing him your lungs were crying for air. You placed your hands on Megumi’s chest and pushed slightly. Megumi took the hint and with a disgruntled sigh he stopped with the onslaught of kisses. You had expected Megumi to fully part from you and pretend like nothing had happened, as he usually does, but this time Megumi hunches over and begins to press his lips along your collarbone and your neck until he reached your lips again. He continued on like this, pressing short kisses against your lips with half-lidded eyes.
“I love you.” Megumi sighed in between kisses. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle from all of the kisses. Megumi’s heart fluttered in his chest, harsher than he had ever experienced before.
“Tell me you love me.” Megumi asked quietly, brushing your bangs away from your eyes.
People don't believe you when you tell them ghost is your boyfriend.
Because really, you? The overly emotional secretary who cried in the middle of the messhall because a higher-up got a bit upset you messed up some papers? Really?
Ghost, the guy who drops men without guilt, who hurts and takes like second-nature. No one's ever even seen you two together.
"Yeah! Me an' ghost actually went there last week," you're in the middle of telling the guy at your table when he asks about some restaurant, only to be interrupted by his scoff.
"Could you quit with that? It's childish and weird."
"...what?" You ask, genuinely a bit confused. You glance at the others at the table, trying to figure it out, but they just nod along like it's obvious "quit what?"
"Stop pretending you and the lieutenant are dating. It's fuckin' weird. As if he would want to date someone like you." The soldier replies with a laugh, the rest of the able chuckling too.
The lump in your throat comes before the sting in your eyes. You liked hanging out with these people, you thought they were nice. "Like...like me?"
"Yeah. A crybaby. I mean, no offense you can't really control it," the guy continues, waving a hand as if he's making light conversation "but doesn't that take a toll? Can't imagine ghost tolerates it."
"...crybaby?" That....that hurts. You couldn't stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks in fat droplets if you tried. Tears only earning a chuckle from the table, as if proof of their words. You...you knew you were emotional, but ghost insisted he didn't mind. You weren't actually bothering him, right?
Hands shaking, you stand from the table, appetite completely gone.
Just as you turn to flee, you run right into someone. Large, warm hands catch you before you can stumble, and– oh. You recognize those hands.
"Hey lovie, I was just looking for you." Ghost says a little too loud, then leans in to whisper "you okay? Wots wrong, dove?"
You sniffle, trying to hide in ghost, face burning in humiliation "nothing. Just being dramatic."
"Mhm." Ghost hums, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your neck. You don't see it, but the glare he sends to your table is deadly. Three careers just ended with a single look. "Why don't you eat lunch in my office? Hm, love?"
Ghost never lets you into his office, probably because you always distract him. He can obviously tell how upset you are.
You don't get a word out before he's pulling you close to his side and practically herding you out if the mess hall. While you snuggle with him in his office, your show playing on his phone, he absently writes transfers for those soldiers. Out far away in a base doing paperwork all year. An extremely generous outcome, if you ask him.
WAIT but this is so me, i am quite literally a crybaby, especially because I have diagnosed social anxiety and ptsd from social interactions LMAO I fucking love this
I’m not Christian, I don’t go to church anymore, and my pastor died, but when he was alive I’d sometimes go to his sermons and I remember one time he said “it feels good to hate, but we know that it isn’t allowed, so when we’re told that we’re allowed to hate someone we get so excited that we forget we’re supposed to love”, and if my humble atheist ass might borrow some church talk I’d like to perhaps submit that
Anyhow sometimes on the day to day I feel disgust or revulsion and I have to ask myself “is this a danger to anyone at all or am I just looking for something I’m allowed to hate” and a solid 98/100 times it’s the latter so once again thank you pastor D
Heaven’s Garden @rosiesareblu - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
