Something a little lighter during this rough week.
My kid loves Marry Poppins, so I have rewatched the film a bunch of times recently, and have head cannon for said 60 year old movie of an even older book. It is thus.
Marry Poppins is a feminist anarchosocialist witch that was watching over the home of the most important financier of the women’s suffrage movement in Britain. This is why the movie opens with her in the clouds. Seeing that the current nanny for the house was complete shite, she infiltrates the Banks family. She causes the wind to blow Jane and Micheal’s kite away in order to get the current nanny to quit. Maybe she also charmed the nanny. I wouldn’t put it past her, Marry Poppins is thorough.
Once the call for new nanny’s goes out, she blows the rest of the applicants away, guarantying herself the position. Now that she is in close proximity to Winnifred, she can better protect her and ensure she can stay part of the movement. However, her new position also gives her proximity to money and power. So does MP waste her time? No, she engages in active sabotage on the capitalist patriarchy.
First, she enlists the assistance of semi magical revolutionary agent, known as Burt. He helps her ingratiate herself with Jane and Micheal, and assists her in casting the ritual “kill billionaires”, or as it is referred to in the film “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”. The next day she makes plans to meet up with an agent to crash the fishing industry, but Burt directs Andrew to intercept her as the agent has been compromised. They spend the rest of the day building an alibi.
Marry P then manipulates Mr banks into taking the children to the bank after she casts “run on the banks” on Micheals allowance, and sets it to go off if a banker tries to steal it. A side effect of the spell is teaching Micheal to value money as a way to do good in the world. As he is entering a bank and would never willingly relinquish even 2 pence to a house of patriarchal power, the trap’s success is a forgone conclusion.
M Pop now has a free day to partake in less child friendly forms of sabotage. She sends Burt to check on the children while she is out.
She meets up with them later and ritual casts “change of heart” on Mr banks with Burt’s help. This is the final step in “kill billionaires” while also ensuring Mr banks doesn’t seek divorce due to his inability to father his children or form any sort of meaningful relationship with Winifred.
Mr. Banks then goes to get sacked by the fiduciary bank people. The bank is crafty though. They have old magical rituals (typical patriarchal hazing) to destroy Mr. Banks will, thus making it impossible for anybody but the strongest witch to cast kill billionaires, and they have cast “patriarchy” on every stone used to build the bank. Making it impossible for a witch to enter the building.
However, Marry Poppins is not some conjurer of cheap tricks. She has sent Mr. Banks with the spell instead. Her aura of positivity has suffused every person that Mr. Banks loves, and he easily over comes the hazing spell and casts supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Mr. Dawes dies, Mr Banks gets rehired back into the bank because of the vacancy at the bank (they are too lazy to train a new guy). This is according to plan (so Winnifred is still able to finance the suffragette movement) and she floats off to continue her tireless support of women and the working class.
baratheonpilled
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
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yousharknotpass
