im making this my last, general use donation post because im always struggling wont lie and i figure this is a better, cleaner way of letting yall know i need help without cluttering your dash
donations will be used for:
feeding the household including our critters
bills to keep us housed with necessary utilities
prescription medication, all of us need them
vet bills, both routine and emergency
gas/car maintenance so i can work more and run errands without destroying our only car
repairs to the house so it is operational, clean, safe, and comfortable for the 5 of us including my bf
payment links:
[PAYPAL] [CASHAPP]
my Chime ID is also $rosshancock78, if you cant send thru any of these platforms, dm me and we can find a workaround
as always, i only ask for help when i really need it and anytime i do receive funds i am forever grateful to those who both donate and share the post because ill be real every single dollar keeps us alive
i love you all and even tho im struggling a lot i have more planned for my life than just this,
lore/trauma dump in read more
if you dont know me, im Ross, 25 yo certified eldest daughter that still lives with my mom and my siblings and basically does everything to keep them alive including working as a house cleaner/doing odd jobs for money, running all the errands, cooking their meals, cleaning to the best of my ability, and overall ensuring that no one under this roof dies
i have chronic pain, hypothyroidism, an autoimmune disease that results in painful oral/genital ulcers when i get sick, im autistic/ADHD/bipolar and currently i am OCDs bitch because i am just absolutely robbed of all control over my life for the sake of others lmao
im venting here because i am just at the end of my rope
ive been an active provider in this family since covid, but when my dad died in 2021 i quickly became the sole provider as my mom spiraled further into depression and agoraphobia, one of my siblings wasnt able to complete hs during covid, my youngest sister was only 13 when my dad died so it was on me a lot to be emotional support and ill be real! i still have not fully gone thru the grieving process because ive had to dissociate the past 5 years just so i could be what my family needed and honestly, that was my dad
ive been trying my damnedest to find a job that works for me, i went into retail management thru bealls and dollar general and it just fucking sapped me of any energy needed to take care of things at the house because surprise im only one person and that, on top of general lack of professionalism, disrespect, and lack of accommodation for me regarding my familys needs at home, i decided to leave both of those jobs. stupid, honestly but i genuinely could not do it all
there is an upside, my siblings are starting to learn how to care for themselves and the house - we all grew up in a hoarded mobile home and none of us were taught how to clean and take care of domestics when we were younger so im having to learn it myself then teach it to the rest of my family
on top of that i was offered a job at my local smoke shop that is long hours, about 14 hour shifts 3 days a week, but it is significantly less work than what i had to do for my previous jobs so im jumping on it to provide some stable income. they didnt give me an exact date yet but the manager is wanting me on late may/early june for my training before one of their employees leave for good
i may still reblog this when i have the job, because shit happens and were actively trying to fix our 30 yo rotting house up so that my bf of 5 years can finally live with us and i can feel normal not having long distance as one of my debuffs
i need a break, ive been running off of 4-6 hours of sleep every night for idek how long now, when i say i do everything i do EVERYTHING and there is still the problem of everyone pushing me to work to provide for them when sometimes the mere thought of doing anything sends me into a panic attack
im severely insecure about money given the fact that every penny i earn goes straight back into the house yet when i need extra cash to pay for necessities, its treated as a loan that i have to pay back always. i have 4 tallies kept on me of how much i owe other people when i myself have given easily tens of thousands of dollars without any expectation to receive it back
im insecure about my lack of control, im 25 in a long and committed relationship but i still have to sit and watch my cousins get married after only a year of knowing their partners because my responsibilities constantly hold me back
i was supposed to be moved in a new home with my bf years ago but because shit happens and one persons income is not enough we had to put that on hold indefinitely
im trying to do it all and not ask for help but genuinely it takes all of my strength sometimes not to just kill myself so at least i can be fucking free of all this
so im begging, crying, and overall planning on what i can do when this doesnt work and how i can possibly keep going when i ran out of steam years ago
just remaking this post completely bc jesus christ the last few weeks have been moserable and i need help. in the last few months there have been many cuts to social programs that i relied on as a disabled person now completely cut off and unable to qualify again despite no change except worsening financial strain on my situation, for many years i have also experienced a worsening chronic health issue that has severely impacted my life that i am currently getting treated for and will be getting an eventual surgery to mend/prevent further damage to my gi tract, around all that my lease is up in november and i absolutely cannot renew it at this complex for several reasons. we're on our 4th management company in under 2 years, they lie to and cheat us constantly, bill us for things we dont even get to see and/or know about, refuse basic repairs, and for the last 2 and a half weeks or so have kept me hostage in my apartment consecutively with back to back to back demands for entry, demanding someone be home to personally let them in at threat of holding anyone who did not comply in violation of our lease agreements. this complex has been siphoning every sent i have left and terrorizing me for 2 years, and come time to renew the lease, my rent will increase again beyond the point i will be able to pay it. i make less than federal minimum wage, $970 a month total and capped by the federal government, and currently run myself ragged doing chores and side jobs to make my $1120+ rent each month. when it goes up again, i have to leave.
as of right now, i am apartment hunting or, somehow, trying to figure out a way to make a more affordable option doable that would cost me abt $3000 up front, but then give me a private space on my parents property and pay less than half than what im paying in rent right now, as i am having an extremely hard time finding apartments in my price range at all at this point, i am genuinely unsure what i will do once the lease is up, but i will not be able to afford to just stay. my savings are depleted after many instances of bullshit over this apartment, and as i look around further and talk to my parents i plan to make a update to this post to ask for any help with moving costs. as it is my pay and savings are drained paying them off each month, and as i look around and come to a decision i would reall, really appreciate any help towards these costs or even just groceries, i was one of many who were completely cut from snap and has increases on my insurances costs, and any helpt at all to get out of here by november would be amazing. i can only pursue the legal action i need to take against my current complex when i am not physically living here and things are getting deperate
This honestly reads like a fedpost. How does anyone get so blinkered by internet leftism that they think being born in israel is some kind of unforgivable crime?
Many thousands of israeli teenagers have risked prison time rather than join the IDF. Do they deserve your "permanent unconditional hostility"?
not to mention these enlistment refusers still occupy palestine, and are often uplifted and celebrated as “safe” spokespeople (read: not palestinian/muslim/arab) for “antizionism”, including making a career off of national speaking tours (funded travel, lodging) all to normalize some kind of “radical resistance” front in israel which is part of the ongoing NGOification of resistance and zionist normalization. the marginal percentage of youth who refuse to serve are normalizing careerists who are not serious about palestinian liberation. i know people who were born in occupied palestine and have gone through the lengthy process of renouncing their citizenship and burning their passports, severing ties and showing others how to do the same. that is the baseline. everyone else is holding onto the genocidal state and that warrants hostility.
I do believe in the power of sitting in your car just a little longer before heading inside, lying upside down on the couch, cloud gazing well into adulthood, taking the time to learn something new, humility, recollecting your dreams, pressing something warm against your belly, small talk w strangers, odes to romance, a lit candle on your countertop while you cook, having a sense of humor about life
sorryy to remake this :') im disabled and after the cuts to medicare, getting cut off from food stamps i only got $60 of for the month anyway, and my fourth new management company in under 2 years at my apartment ripping out all the trees and amenties while doing some shit i think is illegal including but not limited to revoking tenants ability to see their itemized bill for rent and instead just sending us out a number that is WAY higher than my rent has ever been, in a situation where i am already seriously struggling financially on my federally capped and mandated $5 an hour (only about $960 a month to live on and i lose any and all health insurance, perscriptions, or just any scraps of benefits in general that help me survive day to day should i ever make federal minimum wage at $7.25) im experiencing some rather serious health issues i am (at least trying) to get help for and am going to need a surgery that would keep me in the hospital overnight for recovery for at minimum 2 days, and spend all my time jumping between different kinds of appointments around town and hustling small side jobs or chores for other ppl to make extra cash or selling old belongings to all around a debilitating chronic illness that has gotten worse enough to need surgery; i have a long untreated/dismissed and worsening hiatal hernia causing uncontrollabledaily vomiting, constant abdomenand chest pain, and. a lot more. its caused a decade+ of severe pain and daily vomiting, lethargy, and recently really dramatic and unhealthy weight loss.
i am currently waiting on a (hopefully) approved letter from insurance to get the surgery i need done, while juggling chronic illness and appointments around serious financial trouble and a deadline tonmove out of my current apartment by november while i, as of right now, have no savings to move or can even find a place in my price range, all of which being really stressful and scary like constantly. for the moment im trying to focus at the least on keeping up with basic groceries/supplies and ride fare to keep these important medical appointments, many of which were schedules weeks to months in advance and will have an even larger wait time should i have to reschedule. the buss system here is just not really accessible to me 90% of the time, and while sometimes friends or family can yive me rides places, they are also often busy. as of right now i have a GI follow up about the hernia next Wednesday, those ive asked or too busy, and ride fare to get to that side of town and back would be about $45, and after paying a couple more bills and for the refraction test + lenses and frames yesterday bc i currently dont have glasses and cannot see but need to, i have 84 cents total left in my bank. any help with ride fare or supplies would be really really appreciated :')
/gen did queen elizabeth did something problematic recently or are people just celebrating her death bc she's rich and a royal ? Asking bc i havent seen any callouts or negative headlines about her recently
