I’ve definitely complained about this before #1 youtube comment I see all the time that irritates the shit out of me is people going like “wow [leader] makes anyone that he dances with look good” like bitch if you’re at that level it is a 50/50 contribution from the leader and the follower. And honestly given that almost every all-star or champion follow is a woman? It’s giving misogyny. You think Keerigan or Thibault have the balance for pirouettes like that? Fuck off.
Let alone all the weird shit like “i bet every woman wants to dance with him” “he makes every woman feel cherished” ??? Can you people be normal about gender PLEASE
I absolutely think there's a popular idea that following is easier (which... wow. extremely untrue) and that that idea is largely because dancing follow has usually been done by women.
(I'm coming at this as a trans man who only dances follow. and I've danced with men and women as a woman, and I've danced with men and women as a man. and lemme tell everyone: people are fucking weird about gender.)
idk much about champion-level dancing. I only ever did it in a casual social way, where everyone is kinda at different skill levels. (1) either part can make their partner look good, but lead tends to always get credit. and (2) I have followed some hotshot leads who knew they were good but didn't bother to calibrate to me, and I looked like a clumsy idiot.
So if it looks good, lead gets credit, and if it falls apart, follow gets blame. And goddamn if that isn't a reflection and example of how misogyny works.
i'm nocturnal, so I apologize if this is all over the place.
but I think there's also an idea that whoever is dancing lead is In Charge. and it reminds me very much of the pervasive idea that topping means you're In Charge. as if following means you don't have any decisions to make. as if leading means you never have to adapt to what your partner is doing. as if there must be someone "in charge" in an art that is inherently collaborative, where how good it looks and feels is very much a product of how well you're both communicating.
good dancing chemistry doesn't guarantee you'll be good at fucking each other. but being a dickhead when you're dancing does pretty strongly predict that you'll also be a dickhead when you're fucking.


















