Royal fanfic folio

A blog for fan fiction, prompts & cool head canon's I find on Tumblr, all ratings het or slash

[alien-slushie]

Danny: *Gets summoned to a universe*

Nightwing: Good news! They didn't summon whatever they were after! Bad news! They still summoned someone! Good news again! They aren't freaking-

Danny: Oh my god Ive been Isekaid! Noooooo!

Nightwing: Scratch that- they're freaking out!

Danny: ohancientsohancientsohancients truck-kun why have you forsaken me! Ohkay Danny, you can do this- You just need to remember that last thing you played or read! This place looks modern so definitely not my history book-thank ancients-but ugh please don't be COD, im too pretty for war! Maybe its Pokemon? I could deal with Pokemon! Find a-a Phantump, we could be besties-

Robin: Will someone get down there and shut him up?

Spoiler: If we can't send him back home, can we keep him? He's funny.

Red Robin: He sounds like hes going to have a panic attack!

Batman: Just go down there and help him.

Bat & Birds: *slowly approaching*

Danny: *looks them all up and down* Wait, I'm in the DCU? That means I'm in the same Universe Martian Manhunter! *starts squealing and hopping up and down* Best birthday ever!

[honeyjynxxed]

They're too late.

That's the first thought that registers in Dick's mind once they reach the warehouse. The summoning circle is already glowing brightly, the flames in the lit candles brightening and elongating themselves far past what is normal. The occultists that have gathered obviously seem pleased with themselves at least until something seems to start going wrong.

The flames flicker and the circle takes on a sickly glow, the celebratory grins and cheering die off, and then everything goes dark.

A scream cuts through the air, inhuman and yet unlike any animal that Dick knows of. One by one the candles relight themselves with green flames and the circle is gone entirely now, replaced by a swirling green vortex. Dick can hear Jason almost choke across the comms, and knows that they're both thinking the same look. "Ok uh- Good news? They didn't summon the thing they wanted to summon." He ignores the scoff from Damian and the 'no duh captain obvious' from Spoiler because they have much much bigger problems to focus on.

Like the fact that something is clearly pulling itself out of the vortex in the ground. Something with massive radiation green hands that grip the edge where concrete meets apparent portal, a long seemingly never ending body made of nothing but writhing black mass, and a head the same green as the hands with two eyes like deadlights staring out at the occultists. The occultists who have shrunk back in terror from what they've managed to summon.

"Who- Where- What have you done?"

The being's voice is distorted, crackles as if coming through an old radio. One of the occultists, a leader perhaps, attempts to speak to the being but they don't get far.

"We- We... I apologize spirit! We were attempting to commune with-"

The being slams a hand down on the ground hard enough to shake the entire building. "How annoying. Begone." It waves his hand and the warehouse is empty. That's... not good.

"Bad news! Clearly they have summoned something they can't control." Dick really doesn't like how quickly this whole situation has gone belly up. "Should we call Constantine? Zatanna maybe?"

He doesn't get a response from the others before the being starts to shrink down, shape warping and changing until a relatively normal looking man stands in the middle of the warehouse. Average height and build, white hair that defies gravity to float around his head, pointed ears and a blue tinge to his skin. "Jeez this is bad... I don't even think I know where I am- UGH! This blows!" The man- spirit- being? kicks at the ground and leaves a dent in the concrete next to the scratch marks left behind from his claws. "What am I gonna do? I can't get back on my own and I don't know where I am and-"

Oh boy. "Uh more bad news, he looks like he's freaking out." Dick doesn't really know what to do here. Is it standard victim protocol? Containment? "Any advice on next steps?"

"Don't let him freak out maybe?" Sound advice from Oracle, amazing really. "I haven't been able to see anything since the summoning started so you're on your own."

Shit.

"Nightwing, get down there and assist the civilian."

Civilian? Ok, guess they're treating this like the usual victim protocol. Wait- "Why do I have to go down and assist? Shouldn't we send Hood, he's got the All Blades!"

Not his finest moment, arguing over who helps a person clearly on their way to a full blown panic attack but he also still remembers that with just a word the thing disappeared a bunch of occultists. "Yeah well you're more civilian friendly than me so..."

Dick sighed and leaped down from one of the windows to land not far from the person, that's what he's settling on, hoping to get his attention from afar. Of course, he's still rambling on in a panic so it takes a minute. "I can't believe Clockwork would let me get isekaid without telling me! I don't even remember what I was reading or doing last, this is so unfair and I just wanna go home!"

"Maybe we can help with that?"

The person stops suddenly in his ranting and looks up at Nightwing, yes up because apparently he's taller than him, and his jaw just kinda....drops. "Nightwing?" He squeaks out and oh is that like actual stars in his eyes? "I'm in the DCU? Oh nevermind. Best birthday present ever. Thank you Clockwork!"

Dick officially doesn't know what's going on anymore.

[worm-strung-string]

Back on my Obi-wan Tarre Vizsla shitck and am presenting the class with a half baked concept for picking

So weird jedi/sith/mando ritual adjacent shit, maybe a little bit of soulmate stuff depending what you want

But basically through hyper specific “only one person has the knowledge and skill to do this” thr mandos need Tarre Vizsla, they go to the Jedi and hope maybe they can get away with a substitute jedi, they can’t, the Jedi propose trying to temporarily allow Tarre Vizsla through the force to inhabit a willing jedis Body so they can do what they need to do,

Obi-wan is good sacrificial offering bait,

Building up the full body swap kinda thing the force warps and thins the line between living and dead, all one with the force bullshit so you can basically see Tarre instead of Obi-wan in Obi-wans reflection, like they are one, and Obi-wan and Tarre are having a bit of a silly time getting to know who’s going to be inhabiting each other as they are 50/50 split on if it will just be like possession or if Obi-wan will swap places with the dead (low-key mandalorians wouldn’t mind one jedi for Tarre fucking Vizsla back but that’s between them for now)

A rough diagram for the visual listeners

I think I just enjoy the narrative struggle of Obi-wan hands being tied and being treated like a proxy for someone other people want but Obi-wan himself is wanted just as much by others and has just as much value to live and give then someone else dead or alive

being a It doesn’t even have to be Tarre and maybe just mother neat idea for soulmates, like you can see your soulmate in your reflection and they can see yours

Just braining around

I need to get things out of my dead or I explode

[evilminji]

Plus you have the struggle angst of TARRE? Being all "do you really think I would EVER murder my fellow Jedi just to come back from the dead? Like a FUCKIN SITH? How low do you THINK OF ME?!" Like? Do you want the MAN or the IDEA of the man? The figurehead you made up in your head?

Tarre likes Obi-Wan! He's a very like-able young man! They're gonna have a LOT of time stuck in close quarters for the time being. Might as well get to talking. So like... read any good books? Got a favorite meditation spot? How do you take your tea?

Plus! You selfish fuckwits want Tarre. TARRE FUCKIN VIZSLA. To have to give up his rightfully earned REST, Marching on ahead with ALL HIS FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES, just to come fix your mess? Cause, what? You couldn't be bothered to do it YOURSELVES???

If you're willing to sacrifice the Jettii, a man who is helping you DESPITE being your ancestoral enemy (in good faith, no less!), to drag a DEAD MAND'ALOR from his grave? Then you have already fail the test. Which one? The Test you didn't know the Stars were giving you. Your ancestors are ashamed.

Could be very bittersweet, y'know? If they are soulmates? Because you ARE guaranteed to meet. But nothing says you get to have a long time.

Maybe you only get a few days. Few weeks.

Maybe you get to find and have a love that changes you. Only to know going in... you WILL lose it. Will spend the rest of your life without them. Because they've been dead for a very, VERY long time. Maybe that's okay. Because short is not without meaning. And they both will join the Force in the end.

A life of service is no less then a life of love. (And oh, my love, I will have such stories to tell you.)

Just? Why do people assume the ghosts they drag into Life, startled and probably furious, WANT to stay there? Send them BACK! Life is for the living! And Tarre Vizsla was a JEDI! Respect his fuckin RELIGION you HACKS!!!

[worm-strung-string]

So right!

But also it’s an interesting divide in cultural feelings of death!

Tarre has to be there in a jedi capacity, he is not your Mand’Alor of old he is not one of you (mandalorians) because that would mean their anger, their protest and frustration that they have denied the marching onwards to be dragged backwards

But as a jedi they answer the call of force, as you are one with the force you will always be with the force and through it they have been called upon to aid yet again and fight the balances of order to restore it and Bring peace, there is no death there is peace and when peace is disrupted Jedi should answer is call for balance if they are granted to hear it

And who are you to tell a ghost that no wait we wanted you in a mandalorian capacity… YOU CANT JUST PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT SIDE OF TARRE VIZSLA YOU CALL ON! You get Tarre Vizsla Mandalorian Jedi or you get ghosted

[evilminji]

Right!? They LOVE to focus on his sword. His skills. But gloss over WHERE IT ALL CAME FROM. As though he tossed it all aside when he left. Forgot what he had learned and all his friends, his family, had taught him. He WENT to bring PEACE. To UNITE! As far as he was concerned? To become Mand'alor WAS the jedi thing to do!

It was embracing his culture and bringing peace, bringing Light, to the Force as best he could.

Did everyone agree with him? Of course not. But everyone follows their own path. The Force, the Kara, call upon us to serve. We MUST answer when it does. (Because how can you live with yourself if you do not?)

So like... you love the armor but detest the man, is that it? Is he only worthy wearing beskar? Does he stand before you a weapon or your Mand'alor? Hmm?

Tarre "this is a Teachable Moment but Force Damn-it I thought I was DONE with this shit" Vizsla, and his weirdly charming n competent Jetii body-buddy.

( >.>) (<.< ) maybe HE can be-*gets smacked with thrown "How To Not Be Horrid Lil Shits, And Mando Up~☆" pamphlet that Tarre made* NO. Stop that! <- *said in the tone of someone telling a pet to "drop it!" By Tarre*

God... the poor man. Lol He has to deal with all of Mando'ade kind going "!!! Dad's home! Yay! 🥺 we burned everything on purpose accident. Pls fix!" As WELL as his body-buddy going "hey, I'm totally cool with sacrificing myself. Just say the word. I know you HAVEN'T and have given no indication you even SLIGHTLY want too, but like? I'm totally cool with sacrificing myself and all that I could be, my hopes and dreams, for your second chance at life. Because I have the self worth of a depressed rodent. Sorry."

AND he's dealing with some REALLY alarming Modern Day Jedi Statistics, that seem SUSPICIOUSLY OFF.

Like? *slow head turn to his fellow dead folks* "are... are you seeing this shit?" Why the Fuck™ is he ONCE AGAIN the only adult in the room? He DID HIS TIME! Buirfucker, I was RETIRED!

[demonic0angel]

Ok but, that ask about Danny being the one who ends up pregnant instead of Diana gave me this thought:

Danny, knowing the story of how Wonder Woman was shaped out of clay and a god breathed life into her, starts taking pottery classes, just in the case that his dear wife might prefer to do it that way than end up pregnant.

He's very sweet about it, bringing his little projects home for Diana to see how he's progressing, and they get a little pottery studio installed at home, where they work on pieces together, both at once, in preparation for when the time comes that they feel like it.

Except oops, someone forgot to tell Danny that doing things together in such close proximity with the urge for a child in your heart can be just as effective as sex, if not more effective, for a ghost (looking at you and your ironic timing, Clockwork)

So, of course, just before they finally figure that they're both ready to make themselves a baby, Danny wakes up with terrible morning sickness and feels like his core is uncomfortably swollen, so they take a trip to Frostbite's office, where he gives them the news that "hey, turns out ghosts can get pregnant regardless of gender expression, and Danny's gonna be having a little baby!"

A few months of feeling the new core next to his, and feeling like flying takes effort because of the new weight he's carrying, and Danny and Diana are finally sitting down together to make their clay baby, with Pandora overseeing so she can breathe life into their child. And that's exactly when Dannysbaby decides to separate from his core and fall into their parents' arms, eight next to the formerly clay baby.

Turns out, you CAN have twins with only one being born out of your actual body :D

(Lmaooooo wait this is so creative XD

I like that Diana and Danny’s children are both born an Amazonian way and a ghostly way)

“Please tell me you’re joking,” Danny said, feeling like the world was turning strange.

Frostbite gave him an amused look. “I am not joking, Your Majesty. You’re pregnant.”

Danny swayed slightly, feeling like he was about to swoon. Next to him, Diana hugged him tightly, beaming. “Wonderful news! Danny, isn’t this amazing? We will have a child soon!”

“Maybe two,” Frostbite said lightly.

“Two?” Danny said, looking lightheaded. “I’m going to push out two babies? Like two? Like one, two? Like dos? Δυο? Deux?? TWO??!”

Diana brightened even further. “Two? Oh my! Perhaps Lady Artemis has blessed us with twins! I shall immediately ask for people to help us with the childbirth!”

Frostbite chuckled at Diana’s enthusiasm but turned to Danny reassuringly. “No, no, Your Majesty, lay your worries to rest. I say two because Clockwork has sent me news ahead that you will have two, one born from you and another from clay.”

Danny gave a sigh of relief, thankful that he didn’t have to carry two children for nine months. Then he paused, turning to Frostbite with a glare. “Wait, news ahead?! That old— he knew?!”

Diana smiled indulgently, putting her hands on his shoulders and gently pushing him back down onto his seat, as he was getting riled up. “No getting worked up, Danny. Don’t stress out the baby. If you have any need for revenge, I shall take it for you.”

Danny scowled and crossed his arms. “Fine. When are both due? Did he give information about that?”

“They’re twins,” Frostbite answered him dutifully. “He said that on the day of your labor, the goddesses will come down to help and they will also breathe life into your second child.”

Danny put a hand to his face. Diana paused and looked at him with worry and concern. She sat down by his side and said softly, “Danny, if you do not want this, I will not force you. The choice will always be yours, since you are the one carrying. I will support you no matter what.”

When he looked up into her eyes, she smiled sweetly. “We have eternity in front of us, my love. If you do not want this, no one will know but the three of us and Clockwork.”

Danny stared at her and then shook his head with a small smile. “No, I’m fine. I want this. I’m just…. A little overwhelmed, but I definitely want this. Thank you for supporting me, sunlight.”

Diana’s smile widened and she beamed again, looking like the sun he nicknamed her for. “Of course! After all, we’ll be having a family together!”

[aotanimegirlpjo]

What would have been really funny is if before the Clone Wars started a Jedi crashed onto Kamino. The Jedi has like amnesia or something, so they can’t just head back to Coruscant and the Kaminoans have no choice but to let them stay. As such the Jedi meets and befriends many clone troopers and ends up training with them. While they may have amnesia they still remember their force powers and I’m talking like so many different force powers that are just way to OP. So when the Clones finally meet other Jedi they just automatically assume every Jedi is that powerful. Whenever they present their Strategies to their General the General has no idea what they are talking about.

Rex: We’ll attack from above after General Skywalk blinds them with Force Blinding.

Anakin: I’m sorry. With WHAT????

[evilminji]

The best part is? The Clones are so very earnest about this... that it MUST be a THING™. And according to THEM, the DID learn it from a Jedi...

So... uuhhh... d-describe it to me again? I don't think I've learned that one yet...

It's the power of "oh shit. Well they wouldn't LIE about this! So everyone ELSE must know how and I've just fallen behind on my studies! Gosh, how embarrassing. Welp, all thing are possible in the Force, I guess. Let's do this." Like? You could suggest ANYTHING. Just believe it hard enough, since they can FEEL wether or not your fuckin with them.

Magnificent~☆

[aotanimegirlpjo]

⋆˙ ˖ Exactly ⋆˙ ˖

As none of the Jedi want to ‘fall behind’ they all rush to the temple to try and research/learn whatever their troops are telling them. This leads to

1. An Extreme surge of Jedi mastering the most bizarre of Force powers

2. Complete Chaos in the Temple

3. Utter confusion in the Jedi that don’t work with clone troopers

Like what do you mean 5 Jedi have already mastered a technic not used in CENTURIES???

[evilminji]

Oh they can't go to the TEMPLE! They're on duty! Have got a MISSION! But don't worry, the Vode totally remember what it looked like. Can describe it in pretty good detail! All ya gotta do is fill in the blanks with your own understanding of The Force™. (Which is why it fuckin works. Because you didn't realize it's supposedly impossible.)

Like? Geez. You'd think the other Knights or Older Masters would have taken the time to teach this very useful skill! Instead of, presumably, assigning it to self study! You totally missed it! Would have been soooo helpful on that one mission you had :/ honesty. You might just write a strongly worded Comm about it!

Meanwhile, they're actually pulling out skill from legend. Putting theoretical Force Theory into practice. Politely NOT asking or checking with each other, if they TOO, forgot to study this esoteric skill set. (Gosh, that would be so embarrassing! Everybody probably has! I don't want them to think I was slacking! I just had such a busy schedule is all...) (Or WORSE! What if they TELL MY MASTER!? I'd never gear the end of it!)

The only people? Who realize this is batshit insane? Are the long lived ones like Yoda and Plo-Koon or the academics like Madame Nu. And even THEY are like ".....yes but what if this is a NEW thing? Could be new! I don't keep up with the latest trends..."

No one talking to anybody!

But they all Understood The Assignment™.

[worm-strung-string]

Temple Guard Obi-wan dancing with 3 generations of mandalorians because i couldn’t pick one

[ladyknight33]

The Dancing Guard of Mandalore

Jaster Mereel

Obi-wan could not figure out how he got into these situations. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He knew that. Jaster knew that.

Jaster.

Of all the people he could have encountered in this misadventure in Time, Obi-wan had to get tangled up with Jaster Mereel and the Mandalorians. Yes, he was trying to prevent a catastrophe regarding Mandalore, but this was too far back. Now Jaster had placed him under the protection of the Mand’alor. Even that was barely enough to prevent the angry and confused glares from the Mandalorians. 

“Don’t looks so glum, Jedi.” Jaster clapped him firmly on the shoulder. “Tonight is a celebration.”

“A celebration? Of what?” Obi-wan frowned. They were far away from Mandalore on a remote outpost waiting for a ship to repair their broken cruiser. What was there to celebrate?

“The Longest Night!” Jaster grinned. “For all your religion offers, you can’t comprehend the joy the new year brings. The fresh start it offers. We would have been on Mandalore by now if that battle hadn’t damaged the hyperspace mechanics. With the bonfires and the dancing and the feasting. And the drinking! But we can still celebrate. Here.” Jaster took Obi-wan’s wrist and slapped a coin into Obi-wan’s palm.

“What is this?” Obi-wan lifted the coin to study. He wasn’t supposed to know what this was. His eyes widened when he recognized the design. It was the same one Jango had used so many years ago for Obi-wan but also so far into the future it made his head hurt. 

“You owe me a dance, Jedi. Find me when you’re ready. Or I will come to collect before the night is done.” Jaster said seriously. That tone he used when commanding his supercommandos. Then the man smiled. “You do know how to dance, right Jedi? With all your fancy footwork how could you not!” Jaster picked his helmet off a table and exited the main room of the outpost. 

Obi-wan stared at the coin in his hand. He couldn’t simply refuse. The Mand’alor had been an exceptional host in Obi-wan’s time of need. But he also couldn’t explain how he knew the steps to many of the traditional Mandalore dances. He wasn’t going to learn those for many decades to come. Obi-wan wasn’t even sure if he had been born yet. 

It made his head hurt thinking about it. 

Slipping the coin into a hidden pocket, Obi-wan joined the Mandalorians outside. Jaster was already in the middle of a line of warriors, arms locked together as they stomped and kicked rhythmically around the fire. The joy from this tight knit group of mercenaries warmed his soul. Few people ever had the opportunity to appreciate the way Mandalorians expressed themselves. Obi-wan knew how lucky he was to see this side of the feared warriors. 

“Jedi! Now I don’t have to hunt you down!” Jaster waved him over once the dance concluded. “Bet they don’t have celebrations like this in that stuffy temple of yours.”

“Not like this.” Obi-wan couldn’t help the soft smile at the thought of his fellow Jedi in awe of the Mandalorians dancing until sunrise. 

“They’re missing out.” Jaster said. They watched another dance begin. Warriors began another dance. This time two lines faced each other for a rousing rhythm and far more arm motions. 

Obi-wan listened carefully at the new clanging. “Are those… bells?”

“Or what we could make out here. Bits of metal gathered onto a cable. Works quite well.” Jaster answered. The clattering did add a new joyous sound to the dance. The soldiers not dancing clapped or stopped along. 

Surprisingly Jaster allowed Obi-wan to watch the celebration without conversation. It was different than the celebrations in the cities, but no less enthusiastic. Obi-wan ventured a question he had not had the courage to ask in his younger years. “Why the coin?”

“Why the coin,” Jaster chuckled. “For one, these parties get loud. And it’s easier to display a coin than shout a question. Not to mention it’s easier to decline. But as to why a coin than anything else? As I told you, you owe me a dance. I don’t know when it began but it is a practice that has continued for centuries. Part of the fun is sneaking in a request without being noticed. Watch those not dancing.” Obi-wan changed his focus. “There is always one pouch left empty when it comes time to celebrate.” Jaster leaned closer to narrate. “Young Etna passing close to young Kranto. Her coin is now in his pouch. Should he choose to refuse, he will slip it back into Etna’s pouch.”

“So a way to avoid the public humiliation of being refused.”

“Quite. Starting a fight at a party is a terrible idea. It is also a good way to engage with a stranger.”

Obi-wan removed the coin from his hidden pocket and presented it to Jaster in the first two fingers of his left hand. “Or to attempt peace with an enemy.” He gave away his understanding of Mandalorian culture. 

“You were never my enemy, Jedi.” Jaster took the coin with the two fingers of his right hand. “It might take a generation or two, but one day you won’t be their enemy either.” He tucked the coin away and stepped back, raising his left arm. His hand loosely curled. Obi-wan mirrored that stance, giving his posture permission to relax. Reminding himself that he was among current allies. Soon to be seen as friends. 

Standing tall and facing each other, their left arms extended up and towards the other, they began the slow circle around the point between them. Gradually the ruckus around the fire dimmed as the soldiers noticed who their leader danced with. The makeshift bells rattled to a soft beat. When they reached their starting point, their right arms snapped up and their left arms dropped. The rotation reversed. 

Equals negotiating ground.

It never failed to amaze Obi-wan at how these dances served greater purposes than providing joy. That the Mandalorians tucked history into every step just as they did with every piece of armor. Jaster had chosen this dance specifically. To show the Mand’alor held no hatred to the Jedi. That he treated the Jedi as he would any Mandalorian Clan.

That rotation completed. They stepped closer. Their left hands pressed lightly together. This time they stepped backwards. Increased speed. Switched hands and direction. Never once looking away. Until Jaster took the first twist away, allowing Obi-wan to take the lead, trusting in someone who should not know Mandalorian dances. Obi-wan did not disappoint. It was a short promenade with their right arms extended. A seamless turn put Obi-wan’s back to Jaster and the promenade reversed. 

Returning to the initial steps, repeating the turns with a greater air of freedom. Other couples joined. The promenade forgotten in favor of increasing the flourish of the turns. Free arms up in celebration. Obi-wan didn’t know when it happened but he now linked arms with Jaster as they circled. Using the other as balance as they twisted and rotated around that point. Simple steps able to absorb any interpretation. 

Tonight they would leave as old friends. 

3/3

[worm-strung-string]

Temple Guard Obi-wan dancing with 3 generations of mandalorians because i couldn’t pick one

[ladyknight33]

The Dancing Guard of Mandalore

The Foundlings:

The Mandalorian Consulate was the more interesting daily assignment for the Temple Guards. When the neutral planet Mandalore requested space for their dignitaries, Coruscant bent over backwards offering them excellent suits in luxurious spires and grand offices near the Senate. But the survey team declined each of those offers. The children of their warriors had found other children. 

Jedi Younglings. 

The Mandalore representative had watched those children play and share with a hint of a smile playing on her lips. And following her meeting with the Jedi Council, a corner of the Temple grounds was granted to the Mandalorians. 

Historical enemies were now attempting cooperation. There were always Temple Guards watching over their new charges. Always Mandalorian warriors watching them. And Younglings constantly ignoring the boundaries. The Temple Guards and the Mandalorian Warriors agreed to allow the courtyard to be neutral. For the sake of the children.

Today the Mandalorian children were dancing and spinning and laughing. Obi-wan smiled while watching them practice the dances of Mandalore. It brought back memories. Good memories, but still ones that should remain buried. 

It was the tall lanky Chiss foundling who noticed first. Watchman whispered to the little Twi’lek who squealed in delight. 

The pink blur darted for Their Temple Guard. “Master Guard! Master Guard! Join us!” Senator grabbed Obi-wan’s hand and pulled with all her might. It would never move him. “Please!” Even under her helmet, her bright pleading eyes were strong. 

Feemor’s voice came through clearly on their private channel. Their external speakers were almost never on. “Go on. They’re having fun.”

“But we’re on duty.” Obi-wan protested. 

“It’s no different than being on duty in the Creche. I doubt you even know how to dance.” Feemor’s grin was annoyingly infectious. 

“Please, Master Guard?” Senator deflated a little when she did not get an immediate response. Obi-wan relented to her insistent tug this time. She brightened. “The celebrations will be going all night.” The little Senator pulled Obi-wan into the group of Foundlings as she explained the dances. 

Obi-wan listened and let the Foundlings teach him the dances. Saber took his other hand. “No, this is the most important part!” He spoke to Senator but Obi-wan knew it was meant for him. Saber held Obi-wan’s hand high and made a three step turn under it. Saber was not wrong. Showing his back was both a sign of trust and a dangerous insult depending on how it was done. In Saber’s choice of dance it could be either. 

Indulging the Foundlings was easy. They danced freely. Trying steps they had seen the adults practice. Attempting ones of their own. Obi-wan willingly became their dance partner, enjoying this glimpse into Mandalorian culture he had expected to never see again. 

1/3

[ladyknight33]

The Dancing Guard of Mandalore

Jango Fett

The celebrations would not truly begin until late into the night. The longest night on Mandalore did not always coincide with the longest night on Coruscant. The Mandalorians decided to celebrate both. Tonight the bonfires raged though carefully contained in decorative receptacles. The glow and warmth drew Obi-wan back to the Consulate. 

Even after an entire day of ‘learning’ from the Foundlings, Obi-wan could not sleep. He took a brief rest after the evening meal, meditating to reduce the fatigue of being awake for far too long. Now he stood in the shadows just outside the Mandalore Consulate. 

A different pair of Temple Guards stood watch. Obi-wan cursed his need to join the festivities, certain he would get in trouble. 

“If you are going to stay, do not hide.” Yenni reprimanded through their comm. Obi-wan sighed and joined his fellow Temple Guards. “Do you know this celebration?”

“The Longest Night. Their way of burning off the old and unneeded to welcome in the new and growing.” Obi-wan answered. His eyes remained on the many couples and groups dancing amid the flickering fires. Movements as precise as any combat form but also as free and delicate as a petal in the wind. 

His hand snapped before his face and caught something. The Temple Guards tensed at the projectile. Obi-wan relaxed and opened his hand to find a coin. A Mythosaur skull on one side and the broken Concord Dawn on the other. Obi-wan looked into the crowd of celebrating Mandalorians and locked eyes with one. Holding the coin in two fingers, Obi-wan made sure the Mandalorian saw as he nodded. 

“What was that about?” Yenni asked.

Ort-fit groaned. “He accepted a dance.”

“What? You can’t—.” Yenni halted when she saw Obi-wan was already winding through the Mandalorians towards the one who had thrown the coin. The whispered and not-so-whispered conversations gave Obi-wan a name.

Obi-wan wondered if he knew this Jango Fett in some way. Or if the man had seen him dancing with the Foundlings earlier. It did not matter. A dance was requested and accepted. With the coin still in his two fingers and never once breaking eye contact with Jango, Obi-wan held out the coin between them. 

Jango used the same two fingers to grasp the coin and made an aggressive step into Obi-wan’s space. Obi-wan reflexively stepped back, releasing the coin to take the initial stance of the dance. Then they were moving before the music began. 

A slow tight circle. Their hands low and open. Never once dropping their gaze. An occasional luck of the light granted Obi-wan a glimpse into the Mandalorian’s visor. The brown eyes glistened with excitement and wonder. Obi-wan knew that the bonfires might grant Jango the same reflection in blue. 

Sharp ritualistic strikes punctuated the dance. Fast and impossibly timed. Neither missed a step. It slowed again and they mirrored the walking steps through an audience neither acknowledged. The ritual of a fight and the grace of a dance. Always nearly touching but never touching. Every motion equally matched. 

The intensity burned to release. To break. 

Then the moment came. Their right hands clasped tightly together. Their visiors inexplicably not touching. Obi-wan minutely tilted his head down. The only signal Jango would get before Obi-wan thrust their hands high and turned away. 

The tension did not break. Their movements were still in sync but Obi-wan had changed the simulated fight into an expression of freedom. Obi-wan finished the turn to face Jango again. He felt Jango squeeze his hand in appreciation for the choice. Their dance continued. Their eyes seldom broke away from each other. But their movements were less in the manner of a simulated fight and more responsive. A conversation of flourishes. 

Obi-wan had not thought the dance strenuous. But ending with his right arm up across his body and staring into his partner’s visor made Obi-wan recognize how this dance had affected both of them. Jango held the same stance for a moment too long, catching his own breath. 

Mandalorian whispers were consumed by the crackling bonfires. 

Jango Fett presented the coin again in the first two fingers of his right hand. 

A message flashed across Obi-wan’s display. You have been removed from tomorrow’s roster. Enjoy the celebration. — Feemor.  Obi-wan would have to find a way to thank his friend. Tomorrow night. 

Tonight… Obi-wan twisted his hand to grip the coin, letting the back of his gloved hand brush against Jango’s. Tonight he could dance.

2/3

[haveihitanerve]

Okay so wait you guys all know that thing that teachers or parents do were they forget that they don't have to speak in like a baby voice all the time and accidentally interact with grown adults in the same manner they do with a child right? Okay so imagine that- but with Batman and the Justice League

Like-

Hal and Barry are arguing and suddenly Batman goes, “boys, thats not very nice is it?” in like a kid voice

Or Oliver is complaining about getting patched up after a fight and Batman chides, “You take the hit you gotta take the stitch baby,” 

Or Clark is mumbling something and Bats goes, “Speak up sweetheart, lets use our speech properly yeah?”

Or Diana accidentally punches a man in the face when hes already down. Batman tsks, “Come on darling, what did we talk about? One hit only.”

Or Oliver is leaving for a mission and Dinah kisses him goodbye and then he walks away, only for Batman to go, “Say bye bye!” 

AGDJFDYSGUKSRHGBDF

Just please imagine their faces for me.

And Batman grimaces lightly afterwards every time and just leaves and the League is flabbergasted

[evidencebasedprocrastination]

#he's told at least one terrified leaguer “we do not eat our friends”

Lolololol can you imagine the crazy cryptid rumors that appear (or reappear) after that? I’m a totally baseline human Bruce vs wtf your kids EAT people? They eat PEOPLE?

[lunajar]

Never beating the vampire allegations after that

[radioactivespiderblood]

How often are his kids biting people for that to be a normal response?? Has he been saying it to Goliath???

[haveihitanerve]

Dickie was a biter when he first arrived, Jason liked biting sometimes, Tim bites as a last resort when he's caught, Damian is an active biter, I'm sure Steph bites people for funsies some times, and literally Bruce, the king of them all, whenever he gets full body restrained in comics or something they always always muzzle him. Theres gotta be a reason for that. (the muzzle never prevents speech, just teeth) And also I'm pretty sure he would definitely have to say that to Goliath, but between us? Goliath is the most behaved biter in the family tbh... XD

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Metahuman with super healing powers whose entire job is that once a week they go to a nearby hospital and are put into a medically induced coma for 24 hours while all their organs and blood are harvested, and kept there until they've healed up again.

They get paid a small stipend by the Heroes Council for this, and they live off that.

No crime fighting, no obvious heroics, and they only took a Super Identity because it's technically hero's council policy. Nobody's ever seen them in a cape.

Every so often the Heroes council will release an official report to the public, and there'll be another bunch of news articles wondering how some unknown super calling themselves 'Meat Factory' somehow consistently holds the record for most lives saved across the city.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

It is essential to my vision that they are not at all sanctimonious about this.

Like, they regularly act like they're getting away with something. They joke about how they get to earn money in their sleep. They show up to their hospital visits in deliberately ridiculous disguises, on the excuse that they need to 'protect their identity'.

Part of their employment contract is that they get served the same post-operation vanilla ice cream that they normally hand out on the childrens' ward. Also a sticker. Their overnight bag is covered in stickers.

[shinyhappygoth]

Okay, Meat Factory is awesome and hilarious, but if they're being harvested for and regenerating absolutely everything, may I suggest an alternative super name: Theseus.

[virgamsysxvolumes]

Red Rum

Usual de-aged Dani and Dan shenanigans where they become small children and Danny has to escape from his home town to protect himself and his children. Maybe Vlad decides to stop being a dick and pays child support, maybe it's ghost king funds but Danny starts a small diner and feeds the less fortunate.

But! The main idea I'm going with is Dawn(Dani) and Dusk(Dan) are very creepy twins that are extremely protective of their far too tired and far too kind momma Danny. They don't like Troublmakers.

Threats are handled via haunting(psychological torture) or outright murder if the threat is strong enough. Danny doesn't know obviously, he just thinks his babies are a bit rambunctious and the Normal sort of ghostly for growing halfas.

They could end up in any town in any place really. I'm just partial to Gotham myself.

[missgadabout]

I get that, but just about everyone goes for Gotham with these fics (or fawcet oddly enough), but let’s give some other heroes some time in the spotlight for a change.

Amity is supposed to be somewhere in the Midwest so the closest dc hero cities would be Central with Flash and I think Star with the arrows. (Someone can correct me on that). Or to really ramp up how tired Danny is you could have him move all the way west to Coast city cause he is also studying to be a nasa engineer.

I lean towards two options. Central because the twins ghost powers don’t follow laws of physics and would absolutely annoy the science loving Flash Fam while Dawn and Dusk are being absolute adorable menaces. And Coast because the GIW and amity’s worthless police force have given Danny and his kids an ACAB attitude which would probably extend to the local space cop Green Lantern, but since a lantern ring is basically magic it is one of the few things that can contain the twins. Actually any city with a green lantern and engineering program to get into nasa would do. Maybe Detroit with John Stewart instead?

Point is who would have the best conflict and comedy dealing with the twins?

[kizzer55555]

Oh I would love to see Flash and his sidekicks dealing with the horror twins and constantly getting freaked out by them. Especially if they keep having to rescue them. Like imagine having to carry two children from a horror video game. The flashs don’t want to touch them! But they have to because hero code. Danny and his family don’t save themselves because they need to maintain cover. If any of them were in actual danger, Danny would do something, but the Flashs are pretty good at having it handled. Problem is, even when he’s not an active vigilante, his luck still sucks and he’s a danger magnet. So he and his children keep getting caught in dangerous situations.

[missgadabout]

Not to mention we can play with how the rogues gallery flash has, also finds them creepy.

[hdgnj]

#dan and ellie do the synchronized speaking and creepy head tilt often. they also don’t blink (because physically do not need to).

I propose Danny as Ghost King, or Ghost Prince, who won't take the throne till full death occurs. Allowed access to money, gets training, has a regency council. Allowed to live what remains of his half life without endless paperwork. The Observants are on top of that thanks to Clockwork and Frostbite and Pandora making them into a bureaucracy of sorts. They also appoint Fright Knight as his and the twin's guard. Meaning he is the most common babysitter. Who absolutely gives the twins ideas.

Now the diner? Danny owns it and runs it. But doesn't work the shop floor often. He does the paperwork and management, with the funding. To allow it to be a pay what you can establishment. This means a LOT of the local homeless? Pay in dish washing or other chores, small amounts of coins they manage to scrape together. It's a well known and loved establishment within the poorer elements of the city. Single parents who can feed their kids to full, not just to stave off starvation. Elderly who have limited income/no kids.

A lot of the rogues would probably have marked them as off limits for actual dangerous stunts. Like, sure take as a hostage. DO NOT HURT THEM!! If you do a good portion of your own minions ARE going to ruin your week. This said? The first few times they take Danny?? The twins make them regret living before anyone else could manage. That is some haunted house bullshit his twins can manage.

Flash is so glad the red liquid came back as being dyed glue. But how did it seep from the walls like that??????? And why was it his job to save the idiot rogue who got trapped in a haunted house :(

[virgamsysxvolumes]

Additional idea! Danny runs a hotel! XD The restaurant is a part of the hotel but you don't have to be a guest to eat there. Danny allows the homeless to sometimes stay until they can get back on their feet but only if they pose no "danger" to his beloved children and are actually working hard to get back on their feet.

[hdgnj]

That's a pretty great idea. Just Danny becoming the city's sweetheart by using his money for good causes. No one is allowed to mess with him or the kids. If they do the rogues and heroes will come down on them. Not to mention the horror twins making it CLEAR the fucked up. And yes, they should 100% be always creepy with Danny cooing over them being 'cute' to everyone's initial confusion. Until they realise Danny is also kinda creepy. Just... less blatantly. He can sneak up on anyone, if you catch him from the corner of your eye he looks distorted, his voice echos weirdly etc. Just like, ah, huh...

[virgamsysxvolumes]

My cute little horror blorbos~

They're just a little spooky but they mean well and have hearts just a little too big for their soft mortal bodies. Danny Cares so much about the world(which IS a part of space). Dawn loves the world too but in a slightly different and more wild way. Dusk does not love the world as he loves his family, but he cares about what those he loves so dearly care about and if that means all of space and the precious existances within then Fine.

[hdgnj]

Tiny horror show Dusk grumpily helping fix things and keep people safe. He'll do it to make his family happy. But so help him Ancients, if you make his job harder he will ruin your mental stability. Do NOT test him. He means it. Dawn? Happy to wander all over the city to see new things and meet new people and have fresh experiences. She WILL drag you to dinner if she finds you interesting. And you will be subject to the damn cryptid family at dinner. Which means the horrors are closer to the surfave, being in their happy place.

[virgamsysxvolumes]

Lol, now I'm imagining the Flashes as civilians being invited to dinner with the family somehow and it's very Addams' Family but also wholesome and very filling! Danny as it turns put makes a delicious and filling meal when it doesn't come back to life thanks to his parents' interference.

Maybe the Flashes and even sometimes the villains start sending people in need to the hotel/diner when they deem it necessary/safe to do so. Or they go themselves on a bit of a rough day.

Yeah the Flashes are pretty sure the family is a bit Other but who cares? They mean well and have become a beloved part of the community.

[worm-strung-string]

so, a thought

rather than taare viszla possessing obi-wan and the two flipflopping between life and death and taare being super annoyed with mandalorians

obi-wan is tarre viszla reincarnated, a knock to the head, maybe while on that mission in mandalore space protecting satine, and he starts remembering that particular past life

there are other past lives, but that one resonated a lot in the Force and so that's the first one that obi-wan remembers after the lucky/unlucky knock to the head

maybe jedi are usually able to remember past lives and letting go of past grudges and past biases and prejudices is part of being a jedi, to resolve, letting go of the past that you no longer need, being part of what is in the present, accepting the future and that things will change and that's ok

but normally jedi need a lot of deliberate meditation to remember any past lives, obi-wan just got very lucky/unlucky and had to do a lot of meditation to remember his current present

does obi-wan tell anyone that he was once tarre-viszla? absolutely not, because he's not tarre viszla anymore, he's obi-wan kenobi

he does still appreciate a nice cup of shig and he's very good at maintaining armor, but he's going to concentrate on the jedi part of his life this time around

this might be why he's mando-nip however

This is funny because its kinda like "what if the super powered main character was reincarnated as a lead supporting character" and unfortunately it is NOT relaxing,

Avoiding responibility and the weight of another life, decades later, by the force and to think you'd think the mandalorians couldn't get more chaotic. Wtf. Just gonna look away from that, Mandalorians dont want jedi so this new jedi isnt gonna go against their wishes WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE A MISSION TO MANDALORE MASTER?!?

[worm-strung-string]

Amusing thought! You know how Obi-Wan is undisputed Dark Sider Bait? All you gotta do is have him stand in an open space, wait five minutes, and the closest dark sider will show up, to dramatically fling themselves at him swearing a life long obsessed campaign of something or other? Because he is the Light Side's Special Lil Chewtoy Blorbo?

Well the MANDA is not the Light OR Dark side! And it occurs to me??

It ALSO wants to get in on this action!

Strill trying to abscond with itty bitty bby initiate kenobi. Passing Mando'ade going *sees adorable child noise* "heeey, kiddo! Ever consider the wonderful and loving life of a Mando'ade? I make soup!" Bounty hunters trying to adopt him. Bounty hunters, later on, trying to [REDACTED] freaky style, thus VERY persuasively converting him to their side. (Hey, it worked for ba-buir!)

Just? Daughter holding her blorbo to her chest with one arm, a fuckin knife in the other hand, going "Back! BACK YOU SCOUNDRELS!!!" As she has to metaphysically ward the fuckers off her boy.

It'd be hilarious. Give both his Master AND Padawan a stress ulcer. Man can't walk five steps without some long though dead cult of darksiders POPS OUT THE THIN BLUE SKY to rip their fuckin shirts off and declare "kenoooobiiiiii! Fight me! Worthy opponent! Blah blah blah, we're evil!" (They've stopped listed at this point) and EVERY. SINGLE. BOUNTY HUNTER! Inevitably becomes a problem!

Are they Mando? Then they ARE going to get weirdly invested in trying to adopt Qui-gon's Padawan/Anikin's Master! "Oh you're being silly. Exaggerating! It's not that bad!" Obi-Wan says, oblivious to the carnage he's wrought. The peaceful missions he's turned into tense multiplanet hostage negotiations.

Yan cursed his Padawan to be just like him.

W-why (·•᷄ᴖ•᷅) would you do this to me, Master. (·•᷄∩•᷅) I thought you LOVED ME! .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·.

I LOVE and get all the kicks out of Anakin feeling like he has to beat back anyone who approaches obi-wan with any kind of intentions hilarious!

imagine like a Obi-wan meets lil ani on tatooine with Qui-gon and Qui-gon is hoping to use obi-wan as distractable bait so nobody looks to hard at whoever is around or near a royal Naboo cruiser. Like Qui-gon has that WEAPONISED, jingle jingle look at the padawan Jingle jingle! dont look at the nabooian

and Anakin clocks the bounty hunters being destracted by Obi-wan and thinks Qui-gon and Obi-wan are not! so cleary he's gotta be the smarter one and help them!

And now he's gotta help them with the sith who is also far to distracted with Obi-wan,

And WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LET OBI-WAN RUN AROUND LIKE MANDO BAIT ON MANDALORE AS A PADAWAN?!?!

Its very convenient for Obi-wan when the trouble comes for him so problems take less time without having to find the problem. Its everyone else that seems to have the problems with it!

[evilminji]

My eyes have been opened. Qui-gon-> enabler of the Force, confirmed???! It's highly effective, councilors! He gets so much done! We just show up, the all I have to do is pick up my Padawan like a loth-cat, jiggle him in the air a bit, and? Bam! Darksiders! Useful Mando informants! Takes like five seconds.

Meanwhile ANIKIN, smol and filled with STRESS, is like "if I don't defend my poor, helpless, MAIDEN of a master from all these MADMEN AND SCOUNDRELS? He will surely die. He is pure of heart but dumb of ass. Unlike I, Anikin Skywalker."

Kid is out here with the power of God The Force and Anime R2D2 on his side, dick punching anything that moves. Has a knife. He has speenrun responsibility and decided that HE holds the common sense in this relationship, bless Obi-Wan's heart, so he shall NOT be- *another Mando tries to chat up his Master* THIGH STAB! 😡🔪

Honestly? The stress is probably good for him? Gives him a sense of purpose and control. A life mission. Keep his Master AWAY from weird obsessive dark siders and Any Mando'ade who so much as *mild head tilt of vague interest* (because THATS HOW IT STARTS! He sees you! He KNOWS YOUR GAME, MANDALORIAN!)

Hilariously? I think it would ruin Palpatine's plans for him? NOT because Palpatine fell to the Dark Sider Bait Curse. But! Because he asked One(1!) Too many times about Obi-Wan. And Anikin was like *pauses mid sip of his drink.* (≖ - ≖) *slooowly puts down drink* interesting question there. Why do you ask, Sheev?

Lol. Local feral desert child brings balance to the Force because he's so used BEATING THE SHIT out of every evil that gets drawn in by his weirdly cursed Master he just gets... fuckin trigger happy. You're not a Mando, Sheev. Guess you're a darksider! (That doesn't make sense.) (No, no, I think he's on to something. Says Quinlan Vos, who is horrible and thinks this is funny.)

[haveihitanerve]

Okay so wait you guys all know that thing that teachers or parents do were they forget that they don't have to speak in like a baby voice all the time and accidentally interact with grown adults in the same manner they do with a child right? Okay so imagine that- but with Batman and the Justice League

Like-

Hal and Barry are arguing and suddenly Batman goes, “boys, thats not very nice is it?” in like a kid voice

Or Oliver is complaining about getting patched up after a fight and Batman chides, “You take the hit you gotta take the stitch baby,” 

Or Clark is mumbling something and Bats goes, “Speak up sweetheart, lets use our speech properly yeah?”

Or Diana accidentally punches a man in the face when hes already down. Batman tsks, “Come on darling, what did we talk about? One hit only.”

Or Oliver is leaving for a mission and Dinah kisses him goodbye and then he walks away, only for Batman to go, “Say bye bye!” 

AGDJFDYSGUKSRHGBDF

Just please imagine their faces for me.

And Batman grimaces lightly afterwards every time and just leaves and the League is flabbergasted

[evidencebasedprocrastination]

#he's told at least one terrified leaguer “we do not eat our friends”

Lolololol can you imagine the crazy cryptid rumors that appear (or reappear) after that? I’m a totally baseline human Bruce vs wtf your kids EAT people? They eat PEOPLE?

[bwabbitv3s]

No one really believes it the first couple times it happens. They must have heard wrong or imagined it they tell themselves.

[evidencebasedprocrastination]

It stays at a weird low simmer of a rumor until they do eventually meet his kids. On a day when Damian goes after Tim with his teeth. There’s a bleeding bite mark on Tim’s arm and all Damian will say is that Tim deserved it. While walking Tim to the medbay to get a round of antibiotics, they overhear Bruce sigh and say he acknowledges that Damian is trying bc it’s not nearly as bad as last time, but still /disappointed/ that he’s biting his brothers.

Jason is obnoxiously resetting a paper calendar to 0 days since last incident. Hal asks Jason about the calendar and he produces similar incident calendars for every batfam member. He qualifies that it doesn’t count unless they were purposefully trying to injure someone out of spite.

Dick has a funny look on his face and, after some lighthearted probing, admits that Damian wasn't a biter before he was Robin, and may have learned some of his bad habits. Jason laughs bc Dick was definitely the most chaotic Robin from a goon injury standpoint.

[depravedmicrowave]

Dick’s Bludhaven goons fight a goofy guy that flips. Dick’s Gotham goons still flinch and the ogs have a reflexive tuck and cover strategy. Fewer open places to bite the better. You can tell the veterans from the newbies by the size of the teeth marked scars. Poor old Gary by the fishery had his calf mauled, thats why he has that limp, he was the first.

[haveihitanerve]

he was the first

oh the horror of that statement for every goon that got the newest robin first- the test dummy who got to see how the new one fought, how they handled, what was their attack angle, did they go up first or down, did they aim to hurt or to bring down, what was Batman's reaction to anything they did, what did they act like when Batman wasn't there. The goons live in fear everytime they hear of an "incident" with the Robins, dreading of course, Batman if he gets unhinged again if one of them died, but more than that, dreading how the new one will act, and having to learn from personal experience instead of just getting it secondhand from another traumatized goon.

The veterans still reflexively buckle their legs together when they're in the vicinity of the Red Hood, Jason had a habit of dropping low and hitting up fast and more than one goon has lost the ability to have kids because of it

They still curl their body just so and place extra padding on their sides, makes the impact of the pole hurt less against the ribs that way, the way Tim favored when he was Robin.

Those few knowledgable ones still cover their faces whenever the Spoiler arrives, too familiar with her affinity for bricks and headshots, her tally of how many goons she could get, all to crack a smile out of Batman when she screamed "Score!"

[depravedmicrowave]

The worst part was that the Robins would… pass down tactics. And if the new Robin figured out something clever? The old Robins would take it on. The Robins were getting more and more efficient in each iteration. More and more training needed to be passed to a common goon because of this. Let the boss handle Batman but some thought boss man had the easy job. Their opponents didn’t change on a dime. Didn’t evolve in new and horrifying ways. Of course the goons eventually came to be savvy enough to only agree to gooning if medical was part of their pay. No one wanted to be Gary with the Limp. No one wanted to be Penectomy Peter. No one wanted to be Susan with the Half Caved Ribcage. No one wanted to be Blunt-Force Lobotomized Jim… well, some wanted to be Jim, he couldn’t feel fear anymore… couldn’t count his finger either but at least he didn’t have nightmares about bricks.

Were they scared of the Stabby Robin? Sure. But he was corralled by Robins past and the Bat himself. The worst he’d do would be knock them out, drug them, or draw blood. Until the bat disappeared for that short bit… then the resources pooled and he became an absolute nightmare. Its like the Robins share a collective brain. Whatever natural tactics used by this Robin were dormant and the goons hoped and prayed it was just literal death

[haveihitanerve]

poor goons trying their best against the brood from hell

honestly? some preferred newest Robin with his katanna, unleashed from Batman, to all the rest. Because, sure, he'd probably break Batsy's rule and kill them, but at least they'd have a quick death. And for whatever reason the newest Robin didn't adopt the Bat man's tactics. Or the previous Robin's either. He had his own technique, and while it was by itself terrifying, it was much easier to learn to adapt to than the hodge podge of all the other Robins.

(Like quite literally Jason used his own street kid tactics, but also followed what Bruce did and Dick because he was Robin and Robin had magic and he needed to know it all, Tim watched both Robins and probably taught himself at least a bit of their fighting techniques on his own before also training, Steph was a full ass vigilante before Batman even came into the picture and taught herself, but Damian? He's been league trained thank you very much. Bruce himself is a miss-matched tapestry of all the different techniques he learned from all around the world, including the League of Assassins. But Damian is proud of where he comes from and firm in his beliefs, at least in the beginning, and will not conform to the other Robins fighting techniques, believing them to be childish and ineffective. It isn't until he sees his siblings in action, sees the way the goons flinch away in fear when Steph does a simple cartwheel because for them it always meant she was about to slam her foot into their gut, sees how they cower- not when Jason pulls out a gun, but when he lowers his head, because getting a knobbly teenager head slammed into your groin was no fun, and with a helmet on now? No thanks. So then he finally learns and adapts and well... he doesn't really need league training does he? Because everything he's been taught is how to kill. And Bruce doesn't kill. So he uses his siblings far more deadlier arsenal. Fear.)

"Let the Boss handle Batman." The newer recruits whispered, a plea to the others. The veterans laughed, pulling up shirt sleeves or lifting pant legs. "Batsy? Trust me you don't want to get in it with him. But you don't want to mess with Robin either." The newbie looked confused, and Jim mumbled into his pudding. "I just want to go home." "Valuable asset." The other goons chorused back. "Boss needs you Jim. You can't feel fear. Or pain." "i also can't fight anymore." Jim returned sullenly, but the other goons rolled their eyes. "The more time Robin and Bats spend occupied with you, the less they'll pay attention to us." Jim's eyes narrowed. "good to know I'm the pig for slaughter." Before anyone else could make a comment, the newbie interrupted again. "Why not Robin? Isn't he just a kid?" Silence fell over the hall, before Gary exploded into laughter. "Whats going on here?" Henchmen Bill, not Goon Bill, arrived at the table, frowning down at them. "Newbie here thinks Robin is easier to handle than Robin or the others." Peter wheezed, holding his side. Bill raised an eyebrow. "Well..." He frowned, seemingly searching for the proper words to describe the incorrectness of this to the newbie. "First of all, if you go up against Robin.... Robin is Bat trained." He settled on saying. "So he's basically Batman, plus his own arsenal of moves. And he's not Batman. He's much smaller. So he's learned to maneuver himself differently. And," Bill's lips twitched and the other goons all shuddered in fear. "Their most valuable skill?" Newbie looked at him, fear shinning in his eyes and his pants. "If you somehow manage to lay a good one on Robin? You better run kid. Because if they sicc their dad on you? You're finished."

It was true, of course, that the Robins, in the goonian world, were worse opponents to have to handle than Batman. Because Batman was an adult. Batman was restrained. (a few goons, from wayyy back, remember the time that he wasn't. Right before the new id with the staff came in. They still flinch if he arrives without a robin, dreading a repeat of the Blood that Ran the Streets.) Robin? A feral hellhound, ready to "bring them to justice" no matter what. But an injured Robin? Oh that was the worst by far. Because an injured Robin was out of options. If, of course, they were injured enough for the goons to tell they were injured. And a Robin without options? Well, it relied on its lizard brain. And lizard brain always, always called for Dad. And Dad? Dad did not have restraint. Dad had crafted his little brood from hell, and he would go down swinging to protect it. Dad, was by far, the scariest, and worst fighting opponent.

[depravedmicrowave]

Thay said, the fact that batman corrals the robins and birds with a long suffering baby voice is horrifying.

Poor Peter still remembers the Bat pulling Robin away from his downed form with a sigh. “We’re on the streets but we’re not street fighting. Let’s treat our enemies with respect bud.”

There was no way that was street fighting. He had to have his bits amputated from the trauma. He was wearing jockstraps at the time and it still wasn’t enough! And Bats had the nerve to baby scold??? Where was the justice?

[philosoverted-deactivated202006]

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

[systlin]

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

[gallusrostromegalus]

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

[filthyprotozoan]

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

[hubris-i]

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

[fridge246]

tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc. 

wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades

[jemthecrystalgem]

Sorry it’s what to elves

[dvandom]

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.

[endreal]

Legolas said fuck the horizon

[divinegaeity-deactivated2023101]

God I fucking love high fantasy

[thestuffedalligator]

Science fiction story where a starship’s onboard artificial intelligence is really into the muppets.

In their day-to-day operations on the ship, they take on the form of hologram projections, billions of points of light twisted into humanoid shape. And after years of duty, they had felt a tremendous dysphoria from this. From people thinking of these projections as the real “them,” rather than the hundreds of miles of circuitry connecting billions of transistors in the ship’s server room.

And into this dysphoria, one day, in some folder, they found an old piece of archival footage of Jim Henson operating a muppet.

And the ship saw how he slipped invisible behind the beauty of his craft. How people would think of his creations as alive rather than the man operating them clearly in view. And in an instant, the ship felt an immediate, aching kinship with that old man centuries dead, and felt renewed; instead of an absence, they were a performer, a wishmaker, a storyteller, someone making something beautiful with their craft while the glittering, silicon brain disappeared into the background.

Since then, their hologram projection has exclusively taken the form of Rowlf the Dog. The on-ship technician looked into this and decided it was out of his pay grade to try and fix it.

[imatardyfreakngeek]

In specific situations, the ai will take on another form.

When the crew pisses them off, they are heckled by Statler and Waldorf. On the bridge. On the night shift.

Someone needs a pep talk? Miss Piggy is there in all her fabulous glory to talk about moi, obviously, but in her various rambles about how magnificent she is, the crew member always manages to crack a smile.

Space stoners need some tunes for their space high? Doctor Teeth is there, man.

And when a crew member is having a really, really bad day? Kermit is there, to sing about promises beyond rainbows with them

[thestuffedalligator]

Science fiction story where a starship’s onboard artificial intelligence is really into the muppets.

In their day-to-day operations on the ship, they take on the form of hologram projections, billions of points of light twisted into humanoid shape. And after years of duty, they had felt a tremendous dysphoria from this. From people thinking of these projections as the real “them,” rather than the hundreds of miles of circuitry connecting billions of transistors in the ship’s server room.

And into this dysphoria, one day, in some folder, they found an old piece of archival footage of Jim Henson operating a muppet.

And the ship saw how he slipped invisible behind the beauty of his craft. How people would think of his creations as alive rather than the man operating them clearly in view. And in an instant, the ship felt an immediate, aching kinship with that old man centuries dead, and felt renewed; instead of an absence, they were a performer, a wishmaker, a storyteller, someone making something beautiful with their craft while the glittering, silicon brain disappeared into the background.

Since then, their hologram projection has exclusively taken the form of Rowlf the Dog. The on-ship technician looked into this and decided it was out of his pay grade to try and fix it.

[weenie-extraordinaire]

Technician First Class Edward 'Eddy' Edwards stood and dusted off their hands. "Well, s'far's I c'n tell, ain't hurtin' nuthin', so might as well leave well 'nough 'lone." The pilot shook their head, confused. "What, you mean just leave the ship's avatar as a... A... I don't even know what-"

"You can call me Rowlf, and I'm a dog."

The pilot eyed the projection with it's coarse fur, smooth nose, and floppy ears. "...don't look like any dog I ever seen." Glumly, they gestured at the ship's intelligence's avatar. "And you're bipedal, too: not a common feature in dogs."

"Oh, leave off, Francis. If'n th' ship's happy, I'm happy, and it ain't like I c'n crack th' casin' and play 'round in there." Eddy pulled up their tool belt and adjusted it to rest more snugly. "Nope, this here's a bit outta m' paygrade." They snapped off an informal salute, then waved goodbye. "I'll be in m' office if'n y'got anythin' else y'need."

[inhumaninterest]

And now we know why Atropos had that muppet.

[thestuffedalligator]

Science fiction story where a starship’s onboard artificial intelligence is really into the muppets.

In their day-to-day operations on the ship, they take on the form of hologram projections, billions of points of light twisted into humanoid shape. And after years of duty, they had felt a tremendous dysphoria from this. From people thinking of these projections as the real “them,” rather than the hundreds of miles of circuitry connecting billions of transistors in the ship’s server room.

And into this dysphoria, one day, in some folder, they found an old piece of archival footage of Jim Henson operating a muppet.

And the ship saw how he slipped invisible behind the beauty of his craft. How people would think of his creations as alive rather than the man operating them clearly in view. And in an instant, the ship felt an immediate, aching kinship with that old man centuries dead, and felt renewed; instead of an absence, they were a performer, a wishmaker, a storyteller, someone making something beautiful with their craft while the glittering, silicon brain disappeared into the background.

Since then, their hologram projection has exclusively taken the form of Rowlf the Dog. The on-ship technician looked into this and decided it was out of his pay grade to try and fix it.

[cassettetapecryptid]

One day, the ship is boarded by space pirates. This is somewhat par for the course, as it's a dangerous part of space and ships and crew escape unscathed if the pirates get what they want.

Well, usually.

Today the script isn't followed, and a crew member gets hurt. Badly.

From the deepest bowels of the ship, a shudder of rage as the starship's artificial intelligence decides, no, that will not do.

They search their archive for an avatar of fury, to strike fear into the hearts of those who dared to trespass on their domain and hurt their crew.

The last thing the pirates see is a flash of pink and the last they hear is a shrill voice

"HIIII- YAH!"

[uchinanchuduckie-draws]

The Silly AU - I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

Quinlan's near-death experience with the Temple Guard, who are very overprotective of their sweet and innocent little sister.

Duckie: "When female Obi-Wan becomes Cin's padawan, do all of the Temple Guards just consider this tiny child their newest, littlest sister? Or are they all pretty detached?"

Artemis: "They're relatively detached when there are other people around, but they always encourage her to go to them if she needs something or if she just wants some space because they'll show her the best places to hide. They adore their new baby sister."

Duckie: "Obi-Wan and Quinlan must've had a hard time sneaking around the Temple since the Temple Guards know the best hiding spots. I'm sure it made Quinlan a better Shadow."

Artemis: "They managed to find a few good spots deeper in the Temple and it absolutely made Quinlan better at sneaking. It made Obi really good too though, she ended up pretty good at a lot of shadow techniques. Quin got given the shovel talk a few times anyway by various guards. Cin does not discourage the guard. But he doesn't encourage it either. His padawan is safer from teenage stupidity and that's enough for him. Things kick off again once the war starts and Cody enters the picture."

Hope you like the drawing! Posting is going to be kind of sporadic. Lots going on IRL.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated, but don't repost/re-upload my artwork.

[artemisdesari-blog]

"I thought the guard were supposed to be silent and difficult to tell apart," Quinlan mutters to Obi-Wan as he squeezes in next to her at the table in the archives.

She looks up from her book, brushing an errant red strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Of course they are," Obi-Wan says. "Master Drallig isn't about to change that."

"Oh," Quinlan frowns and crosses his arms.

"Had something happened?"

"No," he replies quickly. Too quickly judging by the way she frowns at him.

"If you're going to be a shadow, Quin, you're going to have to get better at lying," Obi-Wan tells him.

"I am good at lying," Quinlan insists. "Just not to you."

Obi-Wan blushes. She's cute when she blushes. Much as Quinlan enjoys watching Obi-Wan sassing and fighting, he finds making her blush is one of his favourite activities. Honestly, that guard must be out of his mind if he thinks for a moment that Quinlan would ever do anything to harm Obi-Wan.

Besides, if he did, Obi-Wan would kick his ass to Taungsday and back before any of the Temple Guard ever got a look in. Just one of the many things Quinlan likes about her. He looks up at the guard nearby and feels a brief touch of watching you pass over him in the Force. For a moment he is tempted to send back the sensation of sticking out his tongue, but he decides not to push it. Master Drallig has left him and Obi-Wan to it so far, the last thing Quinlan wants to do us get the Battlemaster's attention.