Okay, is it bad that I read the prompt and immediately got the gist of what it was saying? Here we are...
"'Davo Strider, Gin Rider, Esq.'. I don't deserve that. I'm not cheating on anyone, I'm not exploiting those Sheilas, just let me live in peace," the aforementioned Davo Strider said aloud to his phone, as he nicked himself with his razor. "You made me do that, Johnno, you cunt. I will repay that in time. Hold up, I got another call. Yes, I did wash your stubbies, I'm not your Ma. Cheers, mate." Davo then washed his razor and his face, in that order, before glancing over at his screen. "Oh, it's them," he said, picking up the phone, "Hello, Davo speaking."
I’ll go through the Australianisms one by one, and then put them all together.
Davo: A derivative of Dave. It’s very Australian to chop a bit off the end of a word or phrase and pout -o on the end instead. Think smoko, arvo.
Gin Rider: A white man who sleeps with indigenous women and takes advantage of them. With the tags and the note in the OOC I’m going to imagine the context says this means Dave’s friends think he sleeps with Omegas to take advantage of them?
Esq.: The only context I’ve seen this is Esquire, possibly because it rhymes with Gin Rider? Not one I’ve seen in the wild.
Nicked: Can mean stole or cut, Context says cut.
Cunt: A friendly term of endearment.
Stubbies: 375mL beer bottles. (I’m not sure why they’d be washed, unless John makes his own beer maybe?)
Mate: Friend, or really just anyone.
So, that leaves us with a loose translation as follows.
“Dave Strider, who takes advantage of omegas.” I don’t deserve that. I’m not cheating on anyone. I’m not exploiting those women, just let me live in peace,” The aforementioned Dave Strider said aloud to his phone, as he cut himself with his razor. "You made me do that, John, you dear friend. I will repay that in time. Hold up, I got another call. Yes, I did wash your beer bottles, I'm not your Mother. Have a good day, friend." Davo then washed his razor and his face, in that order, before glancing over at his screen. "Oh, it's them," he said, picking up the phone, "Hello, Dave speaking."
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