Slayer, The

Faith. | Tara. | Spike. | Halfrek.

[rpbuffy-blog]

I will be back.

Hey, everybody. I just wanted to let you know that even though my life has been keeping me from RP-ing, I’m still intent on coming back — and doing so sometime this month, ideally. Thank you for your patience and your follows.

— K.

[rpbuffy-blog]

Damsely Drafts in Distress

I have a ton of drafts I need to get to, but this week is hectic. Bare with me, beautiful babes. I’m not ignoring you — I’m just paying attention to my real life.

And I miss writing with you... oh, so terribly.

Love and letters,

K.

[magicmissmaclay-deactivated2016]

♧

♧:Your muse playing with their hair

Tara smiled sweetly, enjoying the feeling of the brush in her hair. “This was so nice, Buffy. A perfect girl’s night.”

Anya, Willow, and Dawn had already fallen asleep on the couch in the living room, all three of them with their nails adorned, hair styled, lipstick smudged slightly with chocolate stains. The Slayer and the empathetic witch had been so busily occupied seeing to the wants of the other three that their own pampering had been pushed aside until now.

“What’s left, sweetie? Did anyone paint your toenails?”

[magicmissmaclay-deactivated2016]

“Well, that is definitely something I can fix,” beamed Tara.

[rpbuffy-blog]

rpbuffy:

Buffy set the brush down and then got off the couch to sit next to Tara on the floor in front of the sleeping Scoobies. She put her head on Tara’s shoulder and looked down at her naked toes, wiggling them playfully. “No love for Buffy feet,” she said with a yawn. “They’re all neglected. It’s a dark tragedy.” She grabbed a polish off the coffee table and held it in her palm. “One that can be remedied with the warmth and beauty of a…” she looked at the label on the polish bottle. “Bright Pink Rose.”

She gently patted Buffy’s arm before departing the couch and crouching down to put her friend’s feet in her lap. She was sure that all the vamp staking and demon fighting had to be tough on a Slayer’s toesies.

“Want me to put lotion on your feet first?” she asked, reaching for a couple of bottles stacked beside the polishes. “We have… vanilla almond cream, or honeymelon mango. All depends on whether you’re feeling nutty or fruity.“

When Tara offered to rub lotion on her feet, Buffy felt herself respond with a little too much glee. It had been ages since someone had massaged or rubbed lotion on her feet and she really needed some TLC. Riley had always offered to do stuff like that, but he didn’t have the touch. Whenever he massaged them, her feet always managed to hurt more after he was finished.

“Definitely fruity. I’m not much for the nuts tonight,” Buffy said. “Uh, not much for edible nuts, I mean. The kind you can smell in the lotion. Not that I’m looking for non-edible nuts. Man-nuts, that is. I mean…”

Her voice trailed off and she leaned back against the pillows on the couch.

“My mouth is all kerflooey,” she said. “Slayer cleverness doesn’t extend to slumber parties, I guess.”

[magicmissmaclay-deactivated2016]

Which Witch

It was astounding how the physical pain in her crushed hand faded to a mere twinge the moment she saw Glory’s hands reach for Willow.

“No! No no no no—”

She grasped Glory’s elbow, trying desperately to pull her fingers free of her beloved’s head. The light emanating from the hellgod’s hands burned at her eyes, but she couldn’t look away. When her vision recovered, Glory was gone, and Willow had slumped to the bench, eyes dazed and vacant.

“Willow? Willow, baby? Oh no… oh m-my god, Willow… Willow…”

Her entire world was shattering as assuredly as the bones of her hand. How Tara made it into the hospital, she couldn’t quite remember, but as soon as she turned Willow over to the emergency personnel, she stumbled toward the phones and dialed Buffy’s home number. She held the phone up to her tear-streaked face, waiting to hear a familiar voice.

[rpbuffy-blog]

Buffy put the last of the clean towels into the upstairs hall closet while listening to Dawn blast the Spice Girls from behind her closed bedroom door. After Buffy had told her that she could possibly be taken away from the Summers’ home if she didn’t get better grades, Dawn had decided to throw a small tantrum — claiming that if Buffy had just told her that before, things would be different; whatever the hell that meant.

The Slayer had grown immune to Dawn’s fits at this point, and would remain apathetic, no matter how loudly her sister blasted “Wannabe” on a weekday afternoon.

She sauntered down the stairs, walked into the kitchen and then over to the sink. She turned on the water and reached for the sponge, looking at the mountain of dishes she had yet to wash. Buffy stared out the window at the leaves on the trees and sunk deep into thoughts — of her mother's death, of the god she must battle, of the sister she inherited, of the bills she need pay. The Slayer knew all of the problems were real, but they felt so far away and ludacris. She started to feel her mind grapple with the notion of even hanging onto these thoughts; she had this sinking (yet oddly comforting) feeling that it was all meaningless. The sound of Dawn’s music started to bleed into the rushing of the water from the faucet, and the Slayer began to enter a blissful kind of trance state...

BBRRRRRRRINGGGGG!

Buffy blinked once in reaction to the sound of the phone ringing.

BRRRRRRRRINGGGGG!

She turned off the faucet, blinked one more time and walked over to pick it up.

“H-hello?” she said, slowly coming back to reality.

[rpbuffy-blog]

Gluten Slave

"Do we need milk?” Buffy thought, walking down an aisle at the Sunnydale Super Mart. “I think Willow already bought some for the house. But Dawn ate so much cereal this week... maybe I should just buy more.” 

Buffy wracked her brain. After going over the numbers with Anya, the Slayer realized that they're basically at poverty level. Can they afford to buy milk just willy nilly? She rubbed her eyes and forehead with her hands. She never imagined she’d have to think about such boring things. And she couldn’t believe that she was grocery shopping instead of out patrolling for evil beings. 

“One girl in all the world,” Buffy thought. “She alone will wield the strength and skill to stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of... finance.”

It didn’t have the same ring to it.

She wandered over to the cereal section and picked up a box of sugar coated and chocolate covered “Skinny Wheats,” and dropped them into her cart. She cocked her head to one side and stared at the the big red letters that had been stamped onto the cardboard; it read: GLUTEN FREE. She shrugged. California has always been known for its freaky health practices; even a small town like Sunnydale wasn’t immune to its hippie-dippie shit. Whatever this gluten thing was, it would pass; Buffy was sure of that. She didn’t give it another thought. Until...

“Gluten free mushrooms?” Buffy mumbled to herself, staring at the sign over the mushroom table. “Did mushrooms have this, uh, gluten in them before?” 

She wandered over to the dairy aisle and picked up a half gallon of whole milk. The carton had GLUTEN FREE stamped on it in red. 

“Now this is just getting ridiculous,” she said, before putting it into her cart.

At the canned food aisle, Buffy scanned the soups for something chickeny and starry, and paused for a moment — her eyes lingering over the Spaghetti O’s. To be fair, they were probably one of the most disgusting foods on the planet, but the Slayer had an affection for them. She and Dawn used to eat them together when their mom and dad went out for the night and Buffy would babysit. She had warm and fuzzy pre-slayage memories of reading Nancy Drew books and making pillow forts with a belly full of that noodley, nutritionless slop. 

“Maybe if I just buy one,” she thought, and reached for the can.

[magicmissmaclay-deactivated2016]

♧

♧:Your muse playing with their hair

Tara smiled sweetly, enjoying the feeling of the brush in her hair. “This was so nice, Buffy. A perfect girl’s night.”

Anya, Willow, and Dawn had already fallen asleep on the couch in the living room, all three of them with their nails adorned, hair styled, lipstick smudged slightly with chocolate stains. The Slayer and the empathetic witch had been so busily occupied seeing to the wants of the other three that their own pampering had been pushed aside until now.

“What’s left, sweetie? Did anyone paint your toenails?”

[rpbuffy-blog]

Buffy set the brush down and then got off the couch to sit next to Tara on the floor in front of the sleeping Scoobies. She put her head on Tara’s shoulder and looked down at her naked toes, wiggling them playfully. 

“No love for Buffy feet,” she said with a yawn. “They’re all neglected. It’s a dark tragedy.”

She grabbed a polish off the coffee table and held it in her palm.

“One that can be remedied with the warmth and beauty of a...” she looked at the label on the polish bottle. “Bright Pink Rose.”

[rpbuffy-blog]

The beginning of a beautiful something.

[rpbuffy-blog]

Timid Tumblr-ers

I have a ton of new RP lurkers, yet none of them approach me for storylines. Am I terrifying or something? Oh, right. I’m the thing monsters have nightmares about.

If you wanna talk shop today, you can find me on Skype by looking up “rpbuffy.” If you’re nervous, you can bring weapons to the chat... 

I’ll take them from you in two seconds flat, but you know, you might feel better for a moment.

[rpbuffy-blog]

Time For a Bathory

[slayernoir-deactivated20200227]

Ugh!

She hated this whole blink and teleport thing.  It was disconcerting, being in one place and then opening your eyes in another.  She took stock of all her parts, making sure they were in good working order, happy that Willow hadn’t abra-cadabra'ed them into a tree, or you know, into a tree.

Satisfied that she didn’t suddenly have any tree (or other non-Faith) parts in not-so-funny places, Faith glanced around at her surroundings, seeing no sign of Red.  Will never stuck around long after blinking her someplace.  They made their peace on the bus after they cratered Sunnyhell but Faith thinks her loyalty to Buffy is what made her keep her distance anytime B was in the vicinity. When the Slayer Sergeant General wasn’t hovering, Willow was a bit less anxious and twitchy and wasn’t a bad person to be around.

Standing in the copse of trees that she appeared in, the Slayer moved closer to the edge of the treeline, just enough to take stock of the small clearing that expanded upwards into a very high hill, the top of it seeming to have been flattened out with a castle plunked on top. Stretching her senses as far out as she could, Faith felt no immediate danger and shot out from the cover of beech trees and began scaling the hill. Within minutes she found the remnants of a path that looked like it hadn’t seen a body in decades, the weeds and brush and spindly trees almost hiding it from sight and she veered onto it, stepping over fallen trees and skirting past piles of rocks leftover from ruined walls and pressed onward, steadily climbing when she first heard it.

Darting behind an outcropping of boulders, Faith scanned the sky overhead, searching for the source of the screeching she heard. Waiting for a moment, the thing cried out again, and she turned in the direction of the sound, seeing what looked like, to her, a massive bird or a small dragon of some sort circling around a tower about 3-400 feet up.

“What the…There’s no freakin’ way this old bat has dinosaurs. No freakin’ way.”

Not really wanting to be caught out in the open, Faith cranked up her pace, darting up the hill at a stride that had her only slightly winded when she finally hit the plateau, flattening herself against a wall that looked no less sturdy than its broken and decaying counterparts forming a winding path of rock piles farther down the hill.

Rounding the wall, Faith came to an honest-to-God moat and was just coming upon the murky ring of water when another screech had her looking up again, the pterodactyl-thing suddenly in a free-fall and Buffy riding it all the way down. Backing up a few feet, she braced for action and watched as B literally rode the damn thing all the way down, crashing it into the gloomy surface of the moat and sending a dark deluge of water surging upwards and outwards, soaking her to the skin.

Just. Fucking. Great.

Leather chafes when wet. Barely able to push her dripping hair out of her face before Buffy collides she quips, “Faith, I thought I’d find you here. Isn’t it customary to bathe before a mission? Or is this Willow’s subtle way of saying you need to freshen up?”

Honestly, Faith’s first instinct was to drown her, but she thought better of it and wrung her hair out instead, greeting her much in the same way.

“Well I can’t speak for Red, but it seems to me you’re the one wanting a wet t-shirt contest. If you wanted to get me wet, B, all you had to do was ask. Can’t say I’m into the girl-on-girl thing, but I’m not so prude I wouldn’t let you look.”

[rpbuffy-blog]

Well I can't speak for Red, but it seems to me you're the one wanting a wet t-shirt contest...

Buffy rolled her eyes at Faith, and as her witty Slayer mind prepared her for a clever quip, she saw something — a big ripple in the water about 300 feet from her — and then it was gone. She narrowed her eyes at the water’s surface and gripped the small axe that Dawn had thrown at her mid-dino-flight. She tried not to wade very much and keep the water as still as she could.

... can't say I’m into the girl-on-girl thing, but I'm not so prude I wouldn’t let you look.

Buffy put up her palm.

“Wait,” she said. “Shut up.”

There was another ripple about 250 feet from her: a small splash, and then nothing. Buffy’s eyes examined the water around her, but it was so murky and brown that she couldn’t see more than an inch or two past the surface. What was coming toward her? Could it be Barney the purple dinosaur? No, his switch was flipped. Lights out.

Another splash. This time, bigger. 200 feet away. Did she see a flash of green? She waited. Then there was nothing. 

And nothing.

And nothing.

And nothing.

And —

WHOOSH!

Out of the water, 10 feet from the Slayer, emerged a 150 foot long, emerald green neck — flanked on each side with black spikes growing from the scales. It had the head of a T-Rex with the teeth and droopy eyes of an anglerfish, and it let out a roar that caused the water to ripple and make small to medium sized waves, tossing Buffy around. It looked down at the Slayer with its mustard yellow pupils, cocked its head to one side, and pulled back its lips to show its needlelike fangs. 

Without thinking, Buffy chucked the axe upward toward the creature’s mouth, then watched as the sharp metal cracked against its tooth... and barely chipped it. 

The axe fell down into the depths of the water and the creature gave Buffy an, “Are you kidding me?” look. 

“Free cosmetic dental sesh,” Buffy said meekly. “It was my treat?”

The beast roared and dove for the Slayer’s head.

“But you haven’t had your flouride rinse yet!” Buffy yelled, before ducking down into the water and disappearing from sight.

[ingloriousmemes]

Tell my muse how you'd fuck them. Tell them your fantasies. Make them horny, flustered —make them need you.

[rpbuffy-blog]

Dear Darla,

If I could fuck you, I’d knot your hair in my fingers — tug your head back, and let the feeling linger. I’d play with you for hours, tear you up and apart, and wait for your legs to open like a desperate heart. My tongue would trace “wrong” into the slit of your cunt, and plunder your depths like a treasure hunt. You may be bad, but I’m so damn good. 

Scream my name, demon. I knew you would.

Love, Buffy

[roleplaymemesandsuch]

Send my muse “I think I love you,” for their reaction

[rpbuffy-blog]

Basically. 

[rpbuffy-blog]

The Lady is a Vamp

[justicedemon]

“Buffy Summers,” Halfrek replied in the same manner of named greeting, only there was no hatred in her voice. In fact, she wasn’t really disturbed in the slightest, as she smoothed the front of her pencil skirt and glanced up at her question. “Supposed to be? As a matter of fact I WAS dead, but since Anyanka went and got sliced in two for your little lot, following you into the Hellmouth to fight…” 

Her brow furrowed at the loss of her friend, and the punishment that had befallen her. After a moment she set her shoulders back and continued, “D’Hoffryn decided to bring me back for the benefit of the lower beings. You can’t kill me, I’m nearly invulnerable — you, on the other hand, can fit in an ashtray if I really wanted you dead.  Besides, it’s just the hunger talking.”

Halfrek delved into her purse, which hung on bamboo rings around her wrist and pulled out a blood packet, and held it out, “Well go on then, no need to be shy.  It’s not as if I’ve never seen a vampire feed before.  If it helps, you can think of it as a Capri Sun.”

She barely glanced at Satsu running off to “tell” the others, then she continued and shook the bag until it was taken from her, “Trust me, you’ll be more level headed once you’ve eaten someone — and this way they’re still alive.  Donated and all.”

Dusting off her hand she smirked at the mention of creating the crater that was left behind in Sunnydale, “Oh, you did that?  The way I heard it, William was the one who did all the damage going up like a great beacon of light, as he did. You do such a good job of sending your friends to get sacrificed in your stead, Buffy. Now how does that saying go? Being a hero means watching other people get killed?”

[rpbuffy-blog]

Buffy stared down at the packet of blood that Halfrek insisted on brandishing. She could smell it through the plastic and her stomach turned over in hunger. She tried to ignore her desire — and also tried to ignore the fact that Halfrek kept waving it at her like a crinkling flag.

“Will you just — ugh!” Buffy grabbed the packet from Halfrek’s hand and glared at her. She held it in her palm and watched a clot float around, running her tongue over her teeth. When she realized she was entranced by it, she cringed and tossed it behind her.

Buffy listened to Halfrek verbally jab at her past and her losses. With every day that went by, Buffy had to think about the people she loved that were killed in the fight, and about Spike — the most complicated creature she’d ever known — who gave his life to save her and the world (even when she’d barely given him the time of day). The comments didn’t sit well with her, but they were coming from a demon’s lips, so the digs didn’t cut deep enough to truly hurt her (for now).

“You can talk all you want, Hallie, but it means nothing to me. There are plenty of other desperate people in the world that you could terrorize. But we both know why you decided to come after me and mine,” the Slayer said, stepping forward and getting very close to Halfrek’s face. “You’re alone. Sure, D’Hoffryn brought you back, but he could easily kill you again without blinking. You’re dispensable. Anya’s gone. You have no one. You are no one.”

Buffy cocked her head to one side and her vampiric face vanished. She smiled.

“Did you do this to me because you want me to kill you?” she asked. “And put you out of your pathetic misery? Because I wouldn’t be opposed. I’ve always been one for the noble gestures.”

[rpbuffy-blog]

The Lady is a Vamp

[justicedemon]

Halfrek kept to the shadows, watching her handiwork with a glitter of amusement in her eyes. The silly cape, lingerie, and hanging upside down bit she’d gotten from the images in Satsu’s mind as the girl had tried to conjure the imagery for the wish she’d uttered just a few hours ago.

[rpbuffy-blog]

It wasn’t remotely realistic, the over theatrical cape, except, of course, if you were Dracula — but then he’d always been an odd sort of creature as far as Hallie was concerned. But amusement, was amusement, none-the-less.

When Buffy bolted from her room and she heard Satsu gasp, ‘“How did this happen?” Halfrek shimmered into the hallway and said simply with an amused smile, “Oh sweetie, that was all you and your wounded little heart! Don’t you remember your wish?” 

Satsu looked up as she tried to get the words and cadence just right. “If she can’t love me as much as I love her… I wish Buffy would know what it’s like to be dark. She seems to love it so much.”

Looking back at the vampire slayer… vampire? What did you call a slayer who had become a vampire? Hmm, now that was a thought for a bit later. At the scorned slayer lover, she tilted her head almost pitying, “Oh, don’t look like that now… YOU chose this. I only granted your wish.”

“Side note? I wouldn’t get too stake-y just yet… she does still have her soul. Unless you don’t do the whole ethics thing,” she said, then waved her hand. “Then by all means, continue.”

"Halfrek,” Buffy said, feeling the demon inside her crawl into her throat and cause her to release a guttural growl that was both foreign and incredibly disturbing to her. "Aren’t you supposed to be fucking dead?”

She took a step toward the demon and balled her hands in to fists at her sides.

“Or did the universe send you back to Earth as a present, so I could kill you myself?”

Satsu looked at Halfrek, then at Buffy, then at Halfrek again. 

“You know her?” Satsu asked.

“Satsu, get out of here,” Buffy said.

“Buffy, I didn’t know —” Satsu began, but Buffy bared her teeth at the woman, and she faltered. 

“Get out of here. Or I will kill you.”

Satsu’s lip quivered for a moment. Then she straightened up and got her bearings, like a real slayer should. 

“I’ll tell the others,” she said, before darting off down the hallway.

Buffy felt a twinge of guilt for speaking to Satsu that way — but she really did want to kill her. She wanted suck to her blood until all of the color drained from her pretty Asian face; wanted to feel her heartbeat slow as she pressed her body against her; wanted to gulp her down like fine wine and feel the last quiver of her body as she finished her off.

The thought of it sent a shiver up her spine. It was disconcertingly sexy. Was it like this for all vampires when they first turned? The sadistic thoughts came to Buffy so easily that they felt like they’d been in the back of her mind all along.

“You’re gonna fix this,” she said to Halfrek. “You know by now who you’re messing with. I left a crater in place of Sunnydale. What do you think I’m gonna do to you?”

[rpbuffy-blog]

Dear Friends and Followers,

Buffy is very much in need of a Willow. If you know of any exceptional Willow role players, do send them my way. Thanks.

— K.

[rpbuffy-blog]

Time For a Bathory

[slayernoir-deactivated20200227]

Come one, come all.

[rpbuffy-blog]

Cleveland was where it’s at.

Gang members, meth-heads, assorted lowlifes slinking through a decaying neighbourhood and they’ve got your 5 a.m wake up call, free of charge.

Bang, bang.

Geeze this place really was the armpit of Ohio. They were barely thought of as Cleveland. Right on the outskirts. Unincorporated they called it, and if you dialled 9-1-1, it would be a toss up between Cleveland or South Euclid PD that’d respond, but during tax time, you could bet your sweet ass that Cleveland remembered them here. Faith has lived in some pretty run-down neighbourhoods in her time, but Cleveland?  Made everywhere else seem like The Ramada.  Not high on her list of favourite places, but when Sunnydale was cratered and after everyone got tired of bussing it around the country for a few months, all the swank assignments were claimed.

They, as in the Slayer’s Faction (or whatever they were calling it these days), were divided up between England, Italy, Scotland, and Brazil.  There were even small groups of Slayers bouncing around the islands between Jamaica and the Bahamas, but when it was being decided who should go where, Faith was never asked where she wanted to go.  Hell, no-one even invited her along anywhere.  It wasn’t until Dawn said something, that she was acknowledged and then everyone looked so embarrassed and uncomfortable, Faith just shrugged and said it was probably best that at least one of the original Chosen stay near the Hellmouth.

Four months later, Robin and Faith imploded.  After it was suggested that he stay in Cleveland with her, he bitched about how Buffy had it in for him.  When he kept beating that dead horse, it was Dawn that told Faith Principal Wood originally had a thing for “Counsellor” Buffy.  Everything made a lot more sense after that.  Dude was obsessed about his dead Mom, (who happened to have been a Slayer), and about Slayers in general, and he had a mad-on for B.  Still all about Blondie so the break-up text came as no surprise.  And now, just over a year later, Faith’s older and apparently none the wiser because she somehow let Dawn talk her into this mission over in Hungary.

Elizabeth Bathory.

Some aristocrat chick back in the 1600s who tortured and killed hundreds of her female servants and bathed in their blood so it would keep her young-looking or something.  Evidently the Countess was a vampire because it seems she was up to her old tricks again.  Guess the plastic surgery biz wasn’t as booming over there as it was here in the good ol’ U.S. of A.  Because her castle was so well-guarded by demons and there were so much secrecy about her habits over the years, it was decided that B and Faith should mosey on over and take her out—or more that it was decided if B was heading over there, Faith would have to tag along to make sure nothing happened to her as there was a price on her head and they felt decoys were needed.

Gotta be worse gigs than bodyguard to the infamous, I guess. Regardless, she’s standing on the roof of a five-story walk-up waiting for Willow to appear and she Dream of Jeanie’d herself across the pond.

Fun times.

Stubbing her cigarette out on the bottom of her boot, the brunette Slayer looks up to find Willow suddenly standing there, all wide eyes and wind-tossed hair and awkwardness that seemed to be integrated into her personality as she nodded at Faith and she sighed, preferring to travel in the big metal tube with wings but knowing it’s not an option as she shrugged in resignation.

“Ok, Sabrina.  I’m ready when you are.  Just don’t drop me in any volcanoes and make sure I get there with all my parts in the right places, k?”

CA-CHUNK.

Buffy’s crotch hit the back of the pterodactyl thing and her legs clamped down around the sides of its body. She tensed up for a moment, thinking about how she probably just bruised her clitoris.

“I’m so glad my balls are metaphorical,” she said, grabbing the creature by the neck as it roared, swooped, screeched and twisted in the air.

“Buffy!” Dawn yelled from the window (which was getting farther and farther away as the demon flew). “Catch!”

Dawn hurled a small axe toward the flapping beast — but there wasn’t enough force. It made it to within inches of Buffy and then started to drop.

The Slayer didn’t miss a beat.

She knocked the creature hard in the head and it faltered, dropping a few feet. She reached out and caught the axe.

It tried to throw her off with a particularly forceful writhing motion, and nearly did. What was she gonna do? She needed to get to the ground.

“Ugh, AWWWGGGHHH!” Buffy said as the creature’s tail flicked red liquid toward her. A small fleck of it landed on her arm and it felt like someone was stabbing her with a hot poker.

After barely recuperating, she frantically looked around, scanning the demon’s body for any distinguishing marks or weaknesses. And that’s when she saw it: a little emerald jewel just above its left shoulder, rimmed in a bronze circle.

“Is that a...” she pressed it. “Button?”

The jewel turned red. The creature went limp.

WHOOSH.

They both free-fell downward — and not toward velvety bushes and grass — but toward the castle moat. Had she just turned that thing OFF?

"Oh crap,” she said in her whiney “uh-oh” voice, before splashing down into the water with the now inanimate purple pterodactyl. She rolled off the back of the creature, (now beginning to sink to the bottom of the deep, dark moat) and onto... a person?

Buffy scrambled to get off the human and waded backward in the water, away from the female she’d just clobbered with her own body. Then she recognized her: the wavy brown hair, the furrowed brow, the full lips and surly disposition.

“Faith,” Buffy said, a smile creeping over her mouth. “I thought I’d find you here. Isn’t it customary to bathe before a mission? Or is this Willow’s subtle way of saying you need to freshen up?"

[rpbuffy-blog]

The Lady is a Vamp

"Hmmm, wha?"

Buffy awoke from sleep and opened her eyes, pressing her hand to her forehead. She had an excruciating headache. Her whole head actually felt kind of swollen, like she'd be hanging upside down all night... because she had been... and still was.

The Slayer looked around her bedroom in Scotland and saw that everything that was once on the floor was above her. She also noticed that her hands were crossed over her chest all Nosferatu-like, and she was wearing... a cape? With red velvet lining? And it seemed to be defying gravity, because it wasn't hanging down over her head, but rather, hanging upward toward the ceiling. She looked toward her feet to see what was she was hanging from — and lo and behold: her feet were just sticking to the ceiling, Spiderman-style. Someone was using magic to fuck with her, and they had a bizarre sense of humor. What was with the Dracula schtick? 

"What the fuck —"

THWUMP. Gravity took hold and the Slayer hit the floor in a heap, covered entirely by the comedically massive cape. She peeked out from underneath it, whined a little and stood up. She untied the cape from her neck and dropped it to the floor, rubbing her sore behind as she schlumped to the window.

"What time is it?" she thought as she peered out in to the moonlight. Had she slept the day away? Why hadn't anyone woken her? Was Dawn all right? Panic set in. 

She took a few steps toward the bedroom door and stopped after glancing down at her attire: red, lace lingerie with garters and black fishnets. Her first thought was: "Spike would love this." Her second thought was: "Spike would do this!" 

She grabbed a pair of black leather pants that were draped over a nearby chair and slipped on a dark red tank top. Just as she was about to bolt out into the hallway to alert the Scoobies about the weirdness (and possibly rip Spike a new one), she ran right in to Satsu — the slayer she'd be getting naughty with over the last few months.

"Oh. Hey," Buffy's expression softened for a moment. "What's going on — "

THWACK.

Satsu decked Buffy in the jaw and sent her flying backward into the hallway wall. Buffy got her bearings and lunged at Satsu, tackling her to the ground. 

"I didn't know you were into this kind of thing, honey," Buffy said, punching Satsu in the nose. "But if I had, I might have lezzed out with you much sooner.” 

Satsu shoved her off and backed away from Buffy with tears running down her cheeks. Buffy felt a twinge of sympathy followed by an odd, animal urge to chide her for being so sensitive. She also couldn't tell if she was hungry or horny. It felt like both. 

"Buffy, I'm so sorry," Satsu said. "How did this happen?" 

"How did what — Satsu, what's wrong?" Buffy said.

"You know what. And I guess the how doesn't matter."

Satsu pulled a stake out from her back pocket and held it at her side, ready to strike.

"Wait, you're not gonna — " Buffy started, but then the realization set in. She brought the tips of her fingers up to her brow and felt the bumps, then dragged her fingertips over her now very pointed teeth. She was a vampire. And the girl who loved her was going to try to kill her. What a weird fucking situation; what a typical Slayer day.