Crisco on a Motherfuckin Juggalo Stick

26 years | male or they pronouns | Genderfluid | Asexual | INFP-T | Capricorn/Sagittarius If you're here for the horses and/or more Dante shenanigans, check out my #DanteSonata or #horses tags. FAQ/About me master post! I can also be found at these locations: Fanfiction.net: Endless-Kaoru Livejournal: Endless_Kaoru ArchiveOfOurOwn: LadyMurasaki

[marsapartment]

BYE

[justjordan96]

I wish that at the end of a fic Ao3 would give you links to similar fics

[jemariel]

I too hate sleeping and would like to never do it again

[anarchetypalarchive]

so i’m riding the elevator up to my apartment when the emergency phone in the elevator starts ringing 

and i just stand there for a second because this thing is like thirty years old and has never rung or even been used from what i know

but eventually i answer it thinking maybe something’s wrong with the elevator?? it’s an emergency phone it’s probably an emergency??? i dunno

except i shit you not it’s a telemarketer 

a telemarketer that’s as confused as i am when i finally interrupt him mid-spiel to inform him he has the wrong number and then interrupt him again to explain further that “uh, no, seriously, this is an elevator phone. i’m standing in an elevator. talking to you. on the emergency phone. i really think you got the wrong number”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“yeah,” i say.

there’s some mutually-confused silence.

“so, this is my stop,” i say. “i gotta go.”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“good luck,” i add, because telemarketer guy seems like he’s having an existential crisis. and then i hang up on him, because he’s having an existential crisis and won’t actually end the call, and because again i’m talking on an elevator emergency phone and, you know, this is my stop, i gotta go.

[epicjohndoe]

Apparently This Queen Will Live Forever

[cholemaglia]

She’s Thanos but gains power from presidents instead of infinity stones

[luckykrys-deactivated20140128]

“Anne Bonny and Mary Read were pirates, as renowned for their ruthlessness as for their gender, and during their short careers challenged the sailors’ adage that a woman’s presence on shipboard invites bad luck.”

Sculpture by Erik Christianson.

[thecreach]

I’m not entirely sure that the statue really needed to have a tit out.

[luckykrys-deactivated20140128]

How dare women try to have nipples.

[4rfvbgt56yhn-deactivated2014040]

Actually I’ve seen this before and I can tell you— it’s because these women were bad ass pirates and when they killed someone they’d expose one or both breasts so that when their victim died, (s)he knew that they were killed by a woman.

[koresoteirass]

ACTUALLY Anne Bonny purposely wore loose fitting clothes and displayed her breasts openly at all times during battle - mainly because men were distracted by them, and she took pleasure in killing said men while they were too busy staring at her breasts. Mary Read dressed mainly as a man (after posing as her deceased brother, Mark, for the entirety of her childhood) and both ladies cross-dressed from time to time, hopping between ships. They were known as the ‘fierce hell cats’ due to their ferocious tempers, and were key elements to Captain ‘Calico Jack’ Rackham’s crew - they were the only two known female pirates in the Golden Age of Caribbean piracy. IN FACT, when the ship was captured by the British Navy, Anne and Mary were the ONLY TWO pirates who fought while the males of the crew hid - they were all tried to be hung as pirates but Bonny and Read were both pregnant and were pardoned.

Calico Jack was a lover to Bonny, and as he was to be hung, Bonny’s final words to him were, “Had you fought like a man, you need not be hung like a dog.” Bonny and Read were possibly two of the most badass fucking pirates and they were FEMALE. The more you know. 

[jennytrout]

And on top of all that, exposed breasts have a long and storied history of symbolism in art. They mean all sorts of things. The sculptor may have chosen to expose her left breast specifically to denote her courage–her heart is exposed–or to evoke comparison to Amazon warriors, who cut off their right breasts.

Titties are complex in art.

[huglusted]

[beeandpupcat]

THE GREATEST JOKE ADVENTURE TIME HAS EVER WRITTEN

[goat-yells-at-everything]

[silver-tongues-blog]

[allieinarden]

[katielynn526]

[hayamika-deactivated20240815]

People like to make fun of animators but jokes on them…

[alexandr1te]

WHY’D YALL LEAVE OUT THE BEST ONE?

[maxineprimal]

Can’t forget this gem.

[raven-mod-deactivated20190427]

This post is wonderful

[curlicuecal]

an entomologist rates ant emojis

Beautiful big almond eye, realistic and full of expression as she gazes gently at you. Elbowed antennae and delicately segmented legs and body. Gorgeous pearlescent sheen like she is glowing. This ant moisturizes. This ant is round and huggable. This ant is a star. 11/10.

Beautifully detailed, lifelike pose but with an unexpected neck and odd antennae, perhaps scared straight. Her eyes suggest she has seen things. Her expression confirms she has seen too much. She is haunted and I want to know more. 7/10.

Floppy antenna, pointy muppet face, oddly posed legs. What is she? She has no waist. May be she is some kind of bee in disguise? I find her unsettling. 3/10.

This ant has an unexplained, double-jointed thorax, and no evidence of a waist. Her four-footed pose suggests that she a centaur rather than an ant. Centaur ants would be cool. I’m not sure what was intended here. 2/10.

Good first impression, kind of bland in the details. This ant has no particular waist to speak of, floppy rather than elbowed antennae, and an inexpressive face. Her color scheme is soft and hazy. I like the sharp angles of her stylishly sophisticated legs. This ant may not know quite were she is going, but she knows how she is getting there. 6/10.

Were you even trying. 0/10

Gasp! This ant is elegant. This ant has a beautiful tapered thorax, a segmented abdomen, alert, elbowed antennae, and a light-footed pose. This ant’s face suggests curiosity and a desire to explore the world. This ant inspires me. I want to be like her. 10/10

3-legged, waistless centaur-ant with strange, limp antennae and a beak. I don’t know what this is? It kind of reminds me of a Hork-Bajir. 1/10, not an ant.

This ant… makes me sad. All of her legs are broken. The MS Paint art style and gradient abuse convey distress. She has a duck beak. Despite this, her expression suggests perseverance and determined cheerfulness. I want this ant to have a better life. I am rooting for her. 3/10

This ant is a bold and challenging mixture of photorealism and caricature. She is broad and low-built and seems very sturdy. She looks like she would help you move. This ant is a dependable friend. 9/10

A picture of an ant from a children’s book.  She is wearing little boots.  This ant is wrong in every way, and yet I can’t stay mad at her.  7/10

An interesting, top-down view of an ant; her legs are positioned with slightly jarring symmetry.  Nevertheless, her overall impression is that of a graceful, stylized design, like a pictograph.  She is suitable for adorning fine garments and jewelry or perhaps gracing the walls of a tiny ant church.  I like this minimalist ant.  8/10.

This is a termite. -10/10

[purrrcrastination]

being an art major talking to your friends in different majors like

[charlesoberonn]

This looks like a fucking parody post, or an edgy edit, but it’s 100% official real Flintstones.

[charlesoberonn]

Clarification: I don’t hate this book, I love it, it’s amazing. It’s just that taking a step back and looking it out of context is still really funny. Especially the line “We participated in a genocide, Barney.”

[femboy-fever]

ok but imagine them in their cartoon forms saying this dialogue i’m

[wondermanaging]

can we have some context to this, perhaps?

[charlesoberonn]

Bedrock is having a mayoral election. One of the candidates is a violent war mongering asshole that riles people up against the lizard people. This reminds Fred and Barney of their time in the army.

Back then the father of said violent candidate was riling people up against the “tree people”. Fred, Barney, and other soldiers fought what they believed to be a defensive measure against the tree people. Turns out, it was actually an invasion, in order to kill off the tree people and take over their forest to build Bedrock.

That’s what Fred means when he says he and Barney participated in a genocide. They literally did.

(Extra fun fact, Barney adopted a tree person baby after the war, and his son Bamm-Bamm is the last tree person.)

[connard-cynique-deactivated2024]

just fucking read it

http://readcomiconline.to/Comic/The-Flintstones

[fuocogo]

There are a lot of interesting things about this post but the AK-47 shaped spear is what really got me

[that-geek-you-know-deactivated2]

I’m on to you sakurai

[pinkjusticecosplay-deactivated2]

Oops, I made my dog a cosplay.

Meet Fable, in all his Dragon Age glory!

[yukkiyu01]

[c3rmen-deactivated20181212]

Foxes <3

[canine-necrosis]

A fox baby i saw this morning

[nyomblr]

[namelessokamiart]

This is what happens when you leave me alone with scrap paper, sharpies and two highlighters. Who knew the pink and yellow blended so well.

[sosuperawesome]

Atey Ghailan on Tumblr and Instagram

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