@ the bottom of a fishbowl

[sirechtsys]

on memory, and how DID makes me feel like I’ve simultaneously lived multiple lifetimes and also less of a life than everyone around me [2023]

[thereignclub-trc]

I just want to remind you that sometimes your life really doesn't begin until you are 26+... Romanticizing and obsessing over our youth is harmful. Growing up is beautiful. Discovering who you are and how you interact with the world is a gift. Maturing and learning what you truly want out of life and living in that purpose brings fulfillment and peace. Your life is not over in your early 20's because you haven't figured it out yet, it's just beginning.

[clutching-our-plurals]

Not right now kitten, the voices are monologuing about the hubris of mankind again.

[roses-and-thorns-sys]

I think the biggest tip that has helped with communication lately is just talking out loud to ourselves

In headspace when we, or at least when I, try to communicate with others everything seems jumbled and doesn't make sense. Talking out loud has allowed us to get our thoughts in order, and help us process everything more clearly. Of course it's different when around other people or in public, but when we are on our own talking out loud, recording it on our phone even for later, has helped tremendously. We use pluralspace and have the chat option, similar to discord, which is also pretty helpful. This sounds like basic and obvious advice, however it actually took a while for us to accomplish this baseline of communication. I can only hope it becomes easier as we continue trying to work with each other and on ourselves in and outside of therapy. What are some ways your system has found helpful to increase communication? -Honey

[giantsin-thesky]

i seriously hate the notion some people have that dissociative identity disorder causes "more than one person in a body". it doesn't, it's impossible for that to happen when, by the theory of structural dissociation, DID actually happens when there is a failing to form a full, singular identity like people who don't have a dissociative disorder have and instead you get incomplete parts. one part for day to day, one part that can be strong and protect, one part that fawns, one that freezes... a person without a CDD is able to do that all with one singular identity instead of multiple.

i am not multiple people, i'm several small parts – some more developed than others, with a larger range of emotion and abilities, but not separate people. i would not need to switch otherwise. i only switch because each of my parts can only handle so many situations and have specific emotions.

i don't know how it's like to be a full person. maybe someday i will, but for now, i experience life in chunks that are separated by dissociation and amnesia.

[onanothingsback]

Major CW: Sui ideation, blood, death, strangling, implied S/A (aftermath, no act is shown).

There's too many fucking persecutors in this system.

[ruby-opalpebble]

@facets-of-iri what yall got to say about this??

[starryk1sses]

I hate delayed amnesia so much. I’ll go through a whole day thinking I’m “fine” and fully present, and then hours later it hits me like—wait… I don’t remember anything from today. It feels like my whole day just slips through my fingers.

I’d like to think I’m staying relatively co-conscious with our other alters/fragments, but then once they leave, I lose nearly—if not all—of the memory afterward. It’s so disorienting.

[harrvesting]

When the dissociative identity disorder starts dissociating my identity

[kosmogrl]

I will make a beautiful life for myself no matter how long it takes. I will I will I will

[kosmogrl]

they weren’t kidding when they said the only way out is through

[ravenfleesfire]

Types of dissociation

You feel like the present moment is a memory you're recalling

You feel like the "real you" is a fictional character and you are someone else having some kind of delusion that you're them

Your body is a car that someone you feel safe with is driving while you're in the passenger seat getting sleepy from the streetlights

Your body is a car that someone who puts you on edge is driving very very badly

You experienced an emotion so intensely it overloaded and short-circuited your brain into failsafe shutdown mode

You got so dizzy that you fell over and fell through the floor and now you're in the mirror world

You feel like every next movement you make is going to be the one that clips you into the Backrooms

You feel like every slight decision you make is going to be the one that traps you in the timeloop

You're dissolving into the air around you like a vapor

You're trapped underwater in a cave and no one above can hear your mortal panic

You're lines of code watching the real world through a screen

You feel like you'd relate to a Radiohead song

You feel like the present moment is currently being written by Kurt Vonnegut

The curséd amulet

Trapped in a painting

Animal with its leg stuck in a trap mode

[wejustworkhere]

how much longer until my sky falls down again

[syscultureis]

Sys culture sending an ask here, then getting the notif a few days later that it was posted, and reading it and going "ahaha i was just thinking that!!!! How did they read my mind :) " Almost like osdd stands for other specified dumb dipshit

.

[0718m]

can anyone hear me

sorry if the quality got nuked + i drew this in like 3 seconds. i just wanted to get this thought process on paper

[sirechtsys]

polarizing feelings [2024]

[one-in-a-nestillion]

people always describe the system experience as either the host makes all the decisions with input from their headmates, or the headmates vote and come to a collective decision, but what i experience is more closer to a dictatorship where whoever’s fronting at the moment does whatever the fuck they want until they leave and then it repeats with the next fronter and the one after that too.

[ruby-opalpebble]

Girl, I WISH cuz why is one dude running everything😭😭 EVERYTHING😭😭😭

[274th]

Playing with my fucking dollies.