Rukhsar

Instagram.com/rukhsarish

[rukhsarish-blog]

How do I tell you (/people)

to help me, to save me,

form myself.

— Rukhsarish

[i-wrotethisforme]

Sometimes the people we love don’t exist. Because they turn out to be different, worse sometimes, but mostly just different, than how we saw them in our heads. And knowing it never existed is almost worse than having it and losing it.

[coffeemages]

Your daughters do not exist to give you grandchildren

[radfemarchive-deactivated202304]

Or domestic labour by the age of 7

[swedepea]

And they’re not a mini-mom for their siblings either

[rukhsarish-blog]

Louder please!

[rukhsarish-blog]

When hope dies and patience ends.

My body wants me

to make art on it.

a poetry here and

a painting there, in red.

I didn't bother to find

the color yellow to paint on

my melancholic blues and

turn them to hopeful green,

at the right time.

but, it's too late for this.

and now I have to obey me,

"First time ever

I listened to me,

I wanted to make peace

With myself",

I scrape on my right limb

upside down,

with my left arm as a canvas

and a dagger in my right,

I write P.E.A.C.E. (something

I never had) and my body

fills it with the colour

(of love, of rage, of misery,

something I had with me in abundance)

like a 2 year old kid who is

colouring for the first time.

and in no time the canvas turned red.

and I could see my art on me.

— Rukhsar

[books-n-quotes]

“It is awful to want to go away and to want to go nowhere.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (via books-n-quotes)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“I need to stop fantasizing about running away to some other life, and start figuring out the one I have.”

— Holly Black

[rukhsarish-blog]

This is a rant!

I have always had people around me and I've always feared solitude. I never knew how peaceful would it be to stay alone, to actually hear my thoughts aloud. My friends were always in touch with me after my 12th. I've always given them more than i could. I've always been emotionally available for them.

I have super strict parents who don't let me party or go out with friends. Also i don't wear fashionable clothes like them.

Long story cut short. They don't like me anymore. At first when they started to ignore me, i thought "they're busy, they will respond when they'll be free".

Eventually it took time, but, now i understand that they are toxic friends who treated me like an option.

3 days to 2019, and my only new year resolution is to cut them off. I don't want them anymore. I don't care whether this post makes sense or not, its just a reminder for me to grow strong and only allow genuine people.

Have a nice day!

[rukhsarish-blog]

It's been a month now, I haven't seen you. I want to tell you that I miss you. I miss you everytime I see somebody smiling on their phone. I miss you when I listen to a song. I miss you when I go out for a walk. I miss you when I look into the mirror, even my own reflection reminds me of you. It has been very difficult for me to breathe after you left, I feel choked inside. There's nothing on this earth that doesn't remind me of you. This distance between us is killing me. I tried, and I'm still trying not to miss you but, this missing you is making me want you more badly. Please come back to me. Even if you coming back means my death, then I want to breathe my last air in your arms.

– Rukhsar

[rukhsarish-blog]

I'll keep reminding myself

that you aren't mine anymore

but, you keep in mind that

I'm always yours.

– Rukhsar

[rukhsarish-blog]

People need a reason to fall out of love, Though they never needed one to fall in.

– Rukhsar

[rukhsarish-blog]

Tell me would you

love me the way I do,

even if I treated you

the way you do?

[rukhsarish-blog]

I am a little too humane,

To survive in this emotionless world.

Instagram : @rb_writes

[rukhsarish-blog]

Let me be lost don’t help me in finding me

but, just be there by my side

when I am doing it all by myself.

It’d be a bit difficult for me

but, that’s what life is about right?

I don’t know whether I want to live with

the old me or I want to be with the me

I am becoming now.

My mind is full of chaos at this moment

And, I’m feeling thousand different

feelings all at once,

I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m anxious, I’m confused, I’m nervous, I’m excited, and what not

but, don’t you dare ask me to relax

or to calm down,

I want to feel the feelings inside me.

Every single emotion has to be felt,

this is not going to happen again and you know what, this is the moment where I can find ‘me’

And I’ve figured out that I’m both

Lost and found both at once.

– RB

(I haven’t edited it, everything has been written the way it got into my mind)

[uncoveringstars]

let me lay beside you as you find yourself

let me listen to the gentle breeze

and your even breath

allow me to know the chaos in you

take solace- it’s in me too

and we are connected through it

I wouldn’t dare ask you to relax

or calm down

I know your emotions rage

as you reconcile who you were, are,

and are becoming

let me lay beside you as your pieces storm

let me be the isthmus you shelter at

and when you are ready,

when you’ve realized you are lost and found,

take my hand

peel back the layered flesh

and see the same chaos in me as in you

and see what I’ve both at once lost and found

[rukhsarish-blog]

@nostoneopinions responded it my poetry!

[rukhsarish-blog]

Let me be lost don't help me in finding me

but, just be there by my side

when I am doing it all by myself.

It'd be a bit difficult for me

but, that's what life is about right?

I don't know whether I want to live with

the old me or I want to be with the me

I am becoming now.

My mind is full of chaos at this moment

And, I'm feeling thousand different

feelings all at once,

I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm anxious, I'm confused, I'm nervous, I'm excited, and what not

but, don't you dare ask me to relax

or to calm down,

I want to feel the feelings inside me.

Every single emotion has to be felt,

this is not going to happen again and you know what, this is the moment where I can find 'me'

And I've figured out that I'm both

Lost and found both at once.

– RB

(I haven't edited it, everything has been written the way it got into my mind)

[rukhsarish-blog]

He had that spark

which defrost

her after years of

being c o l d.

– he was the one.

©rb_writes

[rukhsarish-blog]

Repost.

[rukhsarish-blog]

Show the vulnerable you

To the one who loves you,

If they stay you're the luckiest.

If they leave you're still lucky.

– find someone who'd love you the way you are. Who knows how wierd you are, who sensitive you are, how fragile your heart is.. and all the negatives of you and stay by your side. Because, this is what they call it as love

©rb_writes.

[rukhsarish-blog]

He had that spark

which defrost

her after years of

being c o l d.

– he was the one.

©rb_writes