[ruthadelaide]

i love pretty skies

[ruthadelaide]

CAN U?? UNDERSTAND?? THE WORDS THAT R COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?????!!!!!!!!!!

🫪

[ruthadelaide]

i feel so weird, seeing my own 5 year old posts. More like a bit of sadness and an uncomfortable feeling with a low level anxiety. That is for a variety of reasons -

1. the fact that the ppl I started the Tumblr account with arent as close to me now and they are off Tumblr. (so was i, bt i jus decided to recover my account to see my posts out of curiosity and nostalgia, and maybe to even start writing my thoughts out?)

2. my language and writing skills are so much worse than before that it honestly makes me feel so insecure about whtever im putting out online anywhere, i don't read at all, and i can't find time for it.

3. I'm tryna figure out what I want in life even tho it maybe too late objectively. deciding to switch fields at this point is a risk im not very sure about taking.

4.i realised jus how much self aware and thoughtful i was before. after staying in a hostel, i completely lost alone time and the space to just think and process my thoughts and emotions. doomscrolling jus added to it, and now I'm left with rlly short attention span and the constant need for stimulation. I am working on myself tho.

ofc there's more, bt idw unpack all my issues on this post.

[ruthadelaide]

Jan 11 2021

i don't think we'll ever go back to how we were

all i do is pretend i don't care

i miss you so bad.

[ruthadelaide]

Jdbdkdbd I love your blog it’s so fun to read and gives me so much insight into you as a person!!

thank youu! 🥺🥺it really means a lot to me❤️❤️

[ruthadelaide]

Oct 18 2021

A lot of things are happening right now. I've got no idea why they are how they are . I don't even know if I've contributed to it . As much as I wanna find out , I also just don't wanna be involved in drama. I'm trying to keep my life peaceful. All I know right now is that I don't wanna lose any more people.

[ruthadelaide]

August 28 2021

its funny how things can drastically change in a few days' time , the things you believed would never change.its like I'm the only person with emotions. nobody else gives a shit about most things , not to mention a friend they made last week.I can't say it hurts , coz it doesn't the least bit. I'm not hurt but I'm livid.I've done the same thing u r doing , multiple times , so I should know by now to not be hurt when ppl walk out on me. but here I am hoping things would go back to how they were. I don't wanna believe what I'm about to write : my new friend didn't legit like me.I SHOULD MOVE ON.

[ruthadelaide]

August 22 2021

I hate thinking about how I have only a few friends at this point in my life. Nevertheless, it's all I can think about. Removing judgemental acquaintances from my life is something I'm glad that I did. But now I'm left with literally three proper friends and a wavering relationship with one who used to be my best friend. When I see them talking to people that I also once was close with , it hurts as much as the thought of being friends with them now. I am at a point where I'm not very sure I've done the right thing. I'm also on the verge of regretting cutting people off but I know I'm really happy with the ones I have right now. Despite having second thoughts about my reckless decision that now can't be reversed , I'm hoping against all odds that I will forever have these four people who mean a lot to me. Now that I'm friends with them , I know I won't settle for any less. Thank you for not making me feel lonely and giving me another reason to live. Thank you for tolerating my weirdness <3.

[ruthadelaide]

What is a person, if not the marks they leave behind?

[ruthadelaide]

August 19 2021

I can't stop myself from getting into the mess. I should know by now that all it takes is a second for tables to turn.and yes , nobody cares but me.how can y'all be so unbothered when i always cling to the possibility that I might matter after all.why am I letting myself take the same steps over and over again even when Im sure I'm paving the way for grief all the while.I know how this was going to end even before it began.now I realise I was wrong , I never wanted to be happy.Peace is all I'm ever asking for.

[ruthadelaide]

your handwriting is just your hand's accent.

[p-trichor]

anyone who reblogs this gets a little barricade day poem in your inbox

be warned: I will use any info about you in your blog to construct it

[ruthadelaide]

I'm hoping for one❤️

[ruthadelaide]

“Read to me.”

“Why?”

“Because you go somewhere else when you read. I want to go there with you.”

[ruthadelaide]

If your only instrument is a sword, then you will always strike at your problems.

[ruthadelaide]

People leave, Brett. It’s not our fault for not giving them a reason to stay. It’s their fault for not finding one.

[madeofvenus]

The crushing weight of expectations always seems to have this illusion of feeling like air on our fingertips. We walk with soft velvet ease with false hopes in the midst of our heart, leaving it there to settle into a home so that we don’t feel alone and empty.

cause having dreams is all we’ve ever been taught as little kids.

Why teach us about dreams when we live in a nightmare ?

[ruthadelaide]

“That’s the thing about risks,” Kye says. “It’s impossible to know which ones are worth it until it’s too late.”