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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@rxshelleinhell
follow me on Twitter @rxshelleinhell ♡♡♡
This is so fucking funny I got diagnosed with big tiddy goth gf 😔
I had to move a few months ago. I had a gym membership with LA fitness. I've had a gym membership with them before, cancelling was a humiliating process. Call the gym, receive orders to speak to a representative in person. Receive some pre-planned speech about how they have special offers this month. Drive to the gym, ask to cancel, receive an arcane set of instructions for cancelling. I must return home, log in to my computer, I must wait for the full moon and find the lake beneath it. I must row until I cannot see the shore, where I must light a candle and whisper secrets to the flame as if it were my lover. Then, I must fall fast asleep. Only then will a representative from LA fitness call me back to ask if I really really really want to cancel my membership. I must not be swayed by offers of jewels, or women, or effeminate men, or discounts on the personal training program. I must cancel.
Not this time.
By twist of fate, It was time to replace my credit card anyway. So I cancelled nothing. Their disgusting little dog of a computer system slammed its pleas into a retired credit card number over and over, barking it's lungs raw that a single twinkish customer might not pay them 30$ a month anymore. The calls began.
Hi! --My phone shows me a transcript of an unanswered voicemail-- It's Jeremy from LA fitness! Just calling to say that theres a problem with your credit card! Call us back and we can straighten this all out.
I cannot help but smile. There is no LA fitness near me now. I will not patronize them ever again.
Hey it's Ignacio calling from LA Fitness. Just calling to say there's a problem with your credit card. If too much time passes without payment, you could invite additional fees but I can help you with that.
Claw your fingernails to bleeding stumps at my door. You will hear nothing from me.
The Esporta Fitness department called me. Yes, you worms, that's the problem. I don't speak Spanish. I hope the poor sap who called me got paid for every second spent composing this voicemail. Burn another dollar on her altar such that she might commune with me. She will receive everything, and I will give you nothing.
Call me again you mewling beasts, leave another voicemail. Writhe untouched by the grace of my credit card information. You deserve nothing but my silence.
You should be able to rot in bed for 2, maybe 3 hours after waking up before it starts affecting what time it is. If I wake up at 8:30 and lie in bed for 2hr it should still be 8:30 when I get up
in a kinder world i live in an i spy page
life might be better if we could all take a minute out of our day to stop and do a little puzzle
Lucy Liu by Warwick Saint for Esquire Magazine; May 1, 2006.
家主とのくらしも 10ねんめにはいるです
はやいものなのです
I will start the tenth years now... It has been fast...
皆さん オレたんじょうび ちがう
家主とどうきょ はじめた日なのです
Wait, everyone, it's not my birthday, but the anniversary day that I started live with her
someone: so how are you?
me: *tries to recall the 734 feelings i’ve cycled through that day* uh
Art by Justine Thibault
The CIA tries to kill Clark Kent, not because they know he’s Superman, but because he’s a really good journalist. They keep making it look like an accident, but every plan fails. It’s a comedy as the CIA can’t figure out why their attempts always go wrong.
disney concept art: the most beautiful dynamic original thing i have ever seen
disney finished project: rubber same face minimalism regurgitated plots
concept art:
final version:
What makes me so mad is that snow queen is such a lovely tale and there was an evil mirror that shattered and froze the queen’s heart. So the first thing the newly evil queen does is PLUNGE THE KINGDOM INTO ETERNAL WINTER.
And the kid Anna is based off of is actually this sweet peasant girl who is rescuing her best friend whom everyone else thought drowned and whom no one cared for because mirror shards got in his eyes and he only saw beauty in snowflakes while everything else was just disgustingly foul to him. Except he didn’t drown because he was whisked away by the snow queen.
Like this girl gives her shoes to the river to find out he didn’t drown. Her hair ribbons to the birds to find out who took him. Works her hands raw to get to him and has to suffer a mental breakdown because she got SO FUCKING CLOSE to saving him and he won’t even look at her because he wants to solve this puzzle the snow queen gave him.
And then her sobbing wakes him up and he cries and washes the shards from his eyes and the fact that she saved him is enough to melt the snow queens heart and she brings spring back to the kingdom.
Wow Frozen really is some weak shit
Let’s not forget Gerda’s journey takes her along a long road that includes meetings with multiple women, many of them old, most of whom are not evil witches but wise women who aid her in her quest. She’s also at one point held captive by a bandit princess who swaps clothes with her and insists on sleeping in the same bed and routinely threatens her with a knife, but she eventually lets Gerda go with a magic talking reindeer she was also holding captive. The bandit princess cries because goddamn Gerda you’re so NICE and PRETTY and BRAVE and you clearly care about this stupid guy I GUESS and I can’t bear it just GO ok just GO and also you better fucking take care of her reindeer or I will CUT YOU.
The story is full of interesting complex women of many ages and magical talking animals and it’s a real shame we didn’t get an adaptation closer to the original ‘cause it’s really cool.
hey good news about the adaption:
There was a Soviet animated movie from 1957, that doesn’t brush over any of the things you just listed.
You get Gerda on her journey, meeting all of those people that both hinder her quest and help her, with older women from different regions of northern europe, as well as several princesses who aid her
also the art style and animation is absolutely gorgeous and I always feel like it’s a shame that older Soviet animation is barely recognized around the world
you can see the entire thing with english subtitles here
There is probably ONE thing Soviet Russia did right and ARGUABLY BETTER than anyone else in the entire world in the past 100 years of human history: ANIMATION.
And this is something that unfortunately is literally a case of “dumping the baby with water”. The art, the vision, the designs, the storytelling and the approach to olden tales, fairytale, folk tales, children’s books and poems etc, is beyond FAR BEYOND than you may imagine.
Some notable moments of Soviet Russian Animation include (not in any particular order but my own brains spitting images):
The Hedgehof In The Fog (1975)
Which is considered revolutionary and is still a staple of Russian speaking cultures and is regarded as an important piece of Animation in freaking Japan (aka the nation of Animation). If you want to deep dive into the unique stop motion art and the importance of this piece, Google away.
Another animation I love is “Fedora’s Grief” (1974).
A short animation about how objects left unattended and uncared for will not serve you, the human. It’s such an essential part of the Soviet Experience of the common person, which is hard to describe to people who were born to abundance.
I would also love to cite The Cat Leopold (1975-1987), which, for me, forever describes the naiveté of the simple, common soviet person, as we today love citing, “People Are Not Their Governments”.
This one is the antithesis to Tom & Jerry, for all it’s worth: there are tow mice forever taunting the cat, and in each episode the cat asks them, “let’s live in friendship”.
YouTube had a whole archive of the old Soviet animations. If you are looking for beauty and design, and art - these were all state sponsored, and thus - had funds for their visions. No, not all of soviet animation and film was any kind of USSR propoganda (looking at you, US cinema, 30s Batman in black and white), and to some very confusing extent, you see many animations honoring source material or being innovative in their own right, regardless of authority.
Some beautiful animations I would love people to know about:
This series, named “Kitten Named Gav” (1976-1982)
“Gav” is literally “how” as in barking sound. So it’s about a Kitten named “bark” and his little cat adventures with his friend, a puppy.
Sleeping Beauty (and 7 princes) (1951)
The Frog Queen (1954)
The Cat, That Wanders By Itself (1964)
[Yes, cats feature often, and in positive context]
“The Flower with Seven Colours” (1948)
Ugly Duckling (1956)
And you know what, this one, is just. It’s about a polar bear cub, ok? Looking for his polar bear mother.
Umka (1969)
This Wikipedia Article openjng paragraph kind of encapsulates the bleak acknowledgment of the art, stating:
All in all. Yes, the Soviet Animation, in context of today, is the baby thrown out of the window of history with the muddy water, and I, for one, will not stand for it.
I wish more people knew about those beautiful artworks.
I wish people knew that techniques that were tried out and pioneered in those animations way back in the 40s inspired Walt Disney works. I wish people made more art and less war.
I grew up with “The Magic Pony” (dubbed into English with new soundtrack, originally “The Little Humpbacked Horse”), and it was a formative movie for my childhood. Absolutely beautiful animation. We should remember and appreciate this art.
the great slumber; aka blood puddle pillow by keetra dean dixon, 2004
ongoing series initiated in 2004. inspired by those suspenseful moments when a sleeping loved one is a little too still for a little too long. project goal: taking ownership of morbidly intrusive thoughts through humor & play.
A dystopian sci-fi where the “opressed” cave dwellers rise up only to find out the city-people had no idea they were there and are more than willing to help.
10 TV Episodes for Halloween (part one)
Which is your favorite?
Charmed “All Halliwell’s Eve”
Family Matters “Stevil”
Goosebumps “Attack of the Jack-O’-Lanterns”
Stranger Things “Trick or Treat, Freak”
Buffy the Vampire Slayer “Fear Itself”
Boy Meets World “And Then There Was Shawn”
Pretty Little Liars “This Is A Dark Ride”
Sabrina The Teenage Witch “A Halloween Story”
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air “Hex and the Single Guy”
Riverdale “Chapter Sixty-One: Halloween”