madi₊˚⊹⋆˙౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

sadder place why hello kitty stuff so cute yet so fucking expensive... she/her

[angel--cassie]

[witchybundtcake]

I just don't know what to say ):

[meluneira]

[ribbonedgh0st]

[rocknrollangelsblog]

[s3ror0ki]

my mom is in that stage of alcoholism where she is just rude and unfun to be around when she is drunk. she looks at me like she hates me and has a scowl on her face. and i’m not sure what i did wrong. she also drank the rest of my whitney, like i have another bottle but like girl stop taking my stuff. this is why you can’t let an alcoholic know you have stuff in the house. pmo

[s3ror0ki]

text my mom about switching to online only classes cause our asses are too broke to afford on campus and she just ignores the text. i’m starting to think she doesn’t even want me to go to lsu and like i’m asked her multiple times about it and she always just like doesnt acknowledge or is like do what is best for. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! i’m confused half of the time cause she like “oh tell your dad about wanting to live on campus, so he can start looking for more jobs” but is also like “living on campus is a lot of money and you are only going ur cause you like the idea of living by yourself and you just wanna be with your friends. this happened in highschool and where is everyone now?” WTF DO YOU WANT FROM ME everything she says contradicts everything and if i say smth about she like “what do you mean it’s confusing, you just aren’t listening to me” i am i just don’t get it. you say do what’s best for me but your always advocating for smth else and idk what i should pick like everything is just confusing

[s3ror0ki]

i genuinely don’t know if i’ll make it to college. i’m honestly just so confused about everything and my mom is basically fussed at me for not knowing anything. i just feel stupid for being so childish. i just feel like i can’t ask anyone for anything cause i’m supposed to be an adult and i should know what i’m doing. but i don’t and i hate myself for it. i honestly think i’ll never ever succeed in life and i think i’ll just die somewhere alone. i always feel so out of place and alone all the time. i always embarrass myself in front of friends, at my job, with my family, everything. i feel this guilt, shame, and some sort of rotting within me that i’ll never get rid of. if i was actually smart like everyone else i wouldn’t be in the situation i am in right now. i would’ve have to worry about college and worrying about money for tuition. i just wish i could go back in time and tell my mom to abort me then. cause then i wouldn’t have to live this stupid filthy life that i live and i just hate myself for existing. i just wish i end it right now i just feel like life would be so much better without me in it. so everyone wouldn’t have to have a burden like me in their lives. i just think God played some cruel joke and decided to just make me the worst of the worst person to ever exist. and i just feel so stupid and awkward and so cringy all the time. i just wanna be normal and be smart but i’m not and i have to live with this. i just feel like a waste of space and i jus any do it anymore

[s3ror0ki]

taking a week for myself. maybe it will help me feel normal. i always feel like i’m going crazy. i need to convince myself these people in my room aren’t real. i need a break from friends, social media, will definitely not post on here until next saturday. if i do that just proves i have no self control

[s3ror0ki]

i just need my whitney i miss you girl

[s3ror0ki]

idk what’s wrong with my mom today. she like aggravated and it acting like she hates me or is angry at me for smth. i honestly don’t know what i did to her she started acting like this when i said i wanted to live on campus yesterday and has been angry at me since. she is lowk yelling at me in front of these kids and i can’t seem to understand what i did to her but i know if i were to come out upset she would start talking about “oh if your upset now, how are you supposed to live on campus if you aggravated at the simplest things?” like could you back off for like two secs. idk if she is joking or not cause everytime i look at her she rolls her eyes and makes a snarl face which she has been doing since yesterday. i think she just might be on her period and made a joke earlier asking “if it was her time of the month?” and j do understand it was mean but i was hoping she would like jokingly agree so i can understand stand why she is mad at me. but she just rolled her eyes and looked annoyed at me again. this is honestly why i want to live on campus so i don’t have to deal with this like almost everyday like i’m sorry

[s3ror0ki]

whenever i’ve done something good, my inner monologue registers it in the first/sometimes second person always using I,me, you, and your cause it’s something i accomplished on my own.. but when i’m feeling self conscious or made a bad choice it’s solely in the second person as if a another person is critiquing me and blaming me.

[s3ror0ki]

that man in my window doesn’t think i know he’s there but i do so jokes on him

[s3ror0ki]

i’m gonna be gross on here for a sec (when am i not). but whenever i like goon and shower and stuff, i think im giving content for the man in my attic to record. which is why i have to stare at the vent whenever i do any of that cause i think my prolonged eye contact will make him delete the footage and will ward away any of the deep web freaks he was gonna show it to. especially if it daytime. i don’t feel this at night mostly but i don’t think he has a night vision camera so i think i’m safe

[s3ror0ki]

it genuinely surprises me when we still have bottles in our house. like!! i thought you drunks would’ve have dranken it already!! good for you!!

[s3ror0ki]

i slit my own throat just to see if you’d mourn me, yeah

[s3ror0ki]

i’ve accepted the fact i’ll always believe there is a man in my attic recording me i’ve come to live with him

[s3ror0ki]

i haven’t gotten drunk and/or high yet this month and i need to REALLY BADLY and fucking maybe every weekend from now on. PLEASEEEE FOURTH OF JULY PLEASEEE