magic soaking my spine

[explosionshark]

Oh my God everyone kicking Buffy out and putting Faith in charge is the FUNNIEST moment of collective girlfailure in all of Buffy. Genuinely a number one. Faith has been out of prison for less time than a Hulu Trial and they’re just like “put her in charge we are SICK OF THIS BLONDE BITCH” and it goes exactly as you expect. Nothing but respect for my idiot in chief

It's so fucking funny bc Faith doesn't even really want it, it's just pretty much her being a victim of her own Hotness Bubble like

The Potentials are all freaked out and bummed over how Their Lives Are All In Danger and Buffy's been stressed so she hasn't been the fun parent lately. Then Faith rocks up - they don't KNOW her. But she's SO hot. She's funny. She's got this rep. She's got slaying experience. And, crucially, she's really exuding this kind of dirtbag ex con zen that these idiot teenagers IMMEDIATELY misread as competence.

List of things Faith is competent at by season 7

-slaying (I'll give her that!)

-looking good in tank tops

-being pretty chill when people take shots at her over the whole Going Evil Phase

-being stabbed

-sustaining head trauma

-i mean getting her ass absolutely handed to her repeatedly without dying

-being gay for buffy

You'll note this list does NOT INCLUDE any sort of leadership skills. She's literally JUST hot and kind of charming.

She is the deadbeat dad who has the kids on the weekend and doesn't make them stick to bedtimes or do their homework and she let's them play M rated video games and say "bitch."

AND THEY PUT HER IN CHARGE. THE SLAYER WHOSE MOST NOTABLE ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE FAILING TO END THE WORLD AND SUCCEEDING AT GIVING HERSELF BRAIN DAMAGE.

And what does she do when she's in charge? Almost immediately receive another traumatic brain injury.

[stagrunner]

She literally just wanted to go white girl dance at The Bronze & instead becomes the surrogate Cool Mom for Sunnydale’s deadliest sorority. It’s SO funny

[explosionshark]

To extend the custody metaphor Empty Spaces is like the kids being pissed at Buffy for making them do chores and being like WE'RE GONNA GO LIVE WITH DAD NOW and within one week Faith forgets to pick them up from soccer practice while it's raining.

And then they get exploded by a bomb and Faith gets another concussion

[stagrunner]

[explosionshark]

[explosionshark]

@isaidquirky joining the collection 🫡

[passion-of-l0vers]

oh my GOD i hope no one realizes i have multiple facets

[passion-of-l0vers]

oh thank god…

[crow-caller]

as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.

[demi-shoggoth]

The children yearn to be Mewtwo

[dateamonster]

tbh im not entirely immune to a villain with a tragic backstory but i do think villain origins are a lot more interesting when the focus is less "here is the original sin, the first big bad thing that happened to them that made them who they are" and more "here is the first time a person who maybe otherwise felt powerless in their life realized that they could hurt someone and get away with it"

[dateamonster]

you can get a lot more mileage out of analyzing a truly abhorrent character through the lens of like. what sort of conditions would allow or even incentivize this kind of cruelty? what kind of person benefits from those conditions and how? over the more typical who hurt them type analysis. imo.

[lilstinky]

its cool how every language has wordplay.... we created language like ok step 1) convey info so we can stay alive 2) get silly with it

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[momappreciator]

Album art uncropped for Pharmakon’s “Contact” by Jane “Pain” Chardiet

[newyorkkiss]

girl on club dancefloor has her feet cooled by a friend pouring smirnoff ice over them (2000)

[2000three]

Mary Magdalene washing Christ's feet

[eroscestlavie]

lesbian texting their straight guy friends: it genuinely worries me that people are going to start with Vineland and get turned off to Pynchon forever. it’s not even that challenging but it’s like…others from him are so superior in basically every way?? this happened with Inherent Vice too like ok let’s all KILL OURSELVES

lesbian texting their bisexual guy friends: Omg hiii I actually do not know anyone who would be a good fit to run in bar marketing for the doritos infused tequila but thank you for thinking of me!! Are you still doing the MFA???

lesbian texting their gay guy friends: Of COURSE you can have my french onion soup recipe. Don’t worry.

lesbian texting their straight girl friends: that hang was sooo needed. genuinely think this is going to be your year 🫶 seriously I mean it.

lesbian texting their bisexual girl friends: I know. I feel the same way—that this is the year my father’s corpse, which I drag with me on my back every winter, finally stops keeping me warm.

lesbian texting their lesbian girl friends: do you think Tim Roth from Reservoir Dogs is a woman

[escapefromcamazotz]

who’s ready to talk about how wicked is one of the few examples of a love triangle that is actually a triangle

[jamjoob]

as long as you're mine

[cilantrhoes]

[blanketfortarchitect]

I can’t decide if it’s funnier if this is about autism or lycanthropy

[homeboygirl]

u ever just sit and listen to the war happening in the trenches of ur small intestine

[homeboygirl]

they are calling in fucking air strikes from the pancreas

[g5-iguazu-deactivated20240408]

Hard at work at the yaoi factory

[g5-iguazu-deactivated20240408]

They fucking called fujOSHA on us

[vindieselsfacebook-blog]

“You could’ve picked me”

I AM STRAIGHT UP NOT OK OH MY GOD

[akenya]

also they really REALLY shoulda kept this in the movie. Adds about 20 different layers of depth.

[lastflowerofyourhouse]

well, you see, it's very simple. coronabeth always wanted to occupy naberius's position but was forced to occupy ianthe's. ianthe got jealous of corona's position and dealt with this by fusing her own soul with naberius. naberius liked coronabeth better but had more in common with ianthe, with whom he shared roughly zero common interests. coronabeth and ianthe spent every day together for 21 years, and during that time developed absolutely no ability to empathize with each other. no one really understood corona like naberius did, which is to say that no one really understood corona. corona tried to understand ianthe, except no she didn't. no one even attempted to understand naberius. naberius was corona's cavalier in his heart, and she was ianthe's cavalier in her heart, and ianthe said fuck you both and became her own cavalier. they had all known each other their entire lives. none of them knew each other at all. they were all sworn to protect and uphold at least one other member of the group. none of them particularly liked either of the others as people. the only one taking this seriously was ianthe. the only one taking this seriously was coronabeth. the only one taking this seriously was naberius. and they all, most importantly, fucking sucked. but god, who wouldn't?

[thanergetic-hyperlinks]

Ianthe is another character who sprung, horrible and fully-formed, the moment I knew her situation. She has always been the way she was, as has Coronabeth, and as has Naberius. All three of the Third inform each other -- and Ianthe, the shadow queen of the trio, was herself from day one. The only thing she missed was nearly being called 'Abella'. I think that was a hangover from the days when I wanted everyone's name to have syllables matching their house.

—from the Reddit AMA

[citrinepalace]

three for the gleam of a jewel or a smile

behold, the horrible twins! i finished nona the ninth and boy, what a ride

[maezanilla]

🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴