The Life of Sah

Sei la mia vita, il mio cuore, e la mia anima J❤️

[sachaabadeer11]

I want a love without any doubt. I wanna be able to say, I love this person without ever thinking I might be looking stupid for saying that. I wanna look into your eyes and see the multiple universes where you and I always align. I wanna love myself through you. I want the relationship to be so pure, so fun, so youthful, but at the same time so mature. Every time I hold your hand I wanna feel like I’m being electrocuted. And every time we kiss I wanna feel like we’re the reason why this world stops revolving. I wanna spend hours in bed just talking and laughing, never sleeping, and then just deciding, “hey let’s go chase the sunrise real quick.” I wanna make love to you mentally, I wanna caress you with my poetry. I want love to feel like the first time again. And when we’re apart I wanna miss you missing me missing you. I want the butterflies in my stomach to evolve into moths. I want real. I want our connection to transcend the physical and dive into the depths of our souls. I want our love to be a masterpiece painted with the strokes of our passion and understanding. I want our love to be an eternal flame, illuminating the darkest corners of our lives.

[sachaabadeer11]

I still love you, but I’m setting you free.

You know how deeply I cared for you, don’t you? You must know how many silent tears I shed, how many nights I wished you’d realize that indifference wounds more than words. I never asked for much—just to be seen, to be felt, to be loved the way I loved you. But instead, you made me feel invisible, even when I was right beside you.

I still love you, but that love no longer chains me. It no longer traps me in a one-sided battle—where I was the only one trying, hoping, believing.

I won’t ask for your time anymore. I won’t ask for your attention anymore. I won’t ask for love anymore. I won’t ask for honesty anymore. I won’t ask you to choose me anymore. I won’t ask for anything anymore.

I’m letting you go—not because I stopped caring, but because love was never meant to be this painful. Maybe one day, you’ll understand what you lost. But by then, I’ll be far away—where love isn’t begged for, but given freely.

[sachaabadeer11]

Mon amour? J’espère que tu vas bien. Tu sais, je panse souvent à comment te dire que je t’aime d’autres façons que je ne le fais déjà. Et ce soir, je crois, que j’ai trouvé comment le faire. T’es prête? Un. Deux. Trois. J’aimerais vivre vieux avec toi. Oui, je sais que ça ne semble pas vraiment extraordinaire en fin de compte. C’est pas une déclaration véritablement loufoque et créative. J’en suis désolé. Mais tu me connais. J’ai toujours cru que j’allais crever jeune. Parce que je m’ennuie vite de tout, et que, pour moi, on fait le tour de la vie en quelques petites décennies. Mais avec toi, putain. Tout devient inépuisablement inlassable. Par exemple, te regarder goûter mon café chaque matin. Juste ça. Il n’y a pas une seule fois où je ne me dis pas que ce spectacle vaut le coup d’être regardé. Quitte à payer le prix fort de m’ennuyer de tout, à côté de ça. Même de vivre. Ou te voir sautiller sur ta chaise parce que ce que tu viens de manger est délicieux. Est-ce que tu sais à quel point ça me rend heureux? Alors t’imaginer faire tout ceci, pendant que la vie nous épuise, nous vieillit. Et pouvoir me sentir attendri, alors que chaque jour me fait crever un peu plus. Je crois que c’est ma chose préférée au monde. Alors je te le dis, moi, l’éternel attristé, celui qui ne veut de la vie que son éphémère et sa jeunesse: j’ai envie de vivre vieux avec toi. Alors merci de me faire ressentir tout ça.

My love? I hope you’re doing well. You know, I often think about how to tell you I love you in other ways than I already do. And tonight, I think, I’ve figured out how to do it. Are you ready? 1. 2. 3. I want to grow old with you. Yes, I know it doesn’t seem particularly extraordinary in the end. It’s not a truly outlandish declaration or creative. I’m sorry. But you know me. I always thought that I would die young. Because I quickly get bored of everything, and that, for me, one can experience life in just a few short decades. But with you, damn. Everything becomes endlessly enduring. For instance, watching you taste my coffee every morning. Just that. There’s not a single time when I don’t think that this spectacle is worth watching. Even if it means paying the high price of getting bored of everything else. Even of living. Or watching you bounce on your chair because what you ate is delicious. Do you know how much that makes me happy? So imagine doing all this, while life wears us out, ages us. And being able to feel tender, while each day makes me die a little more. I think that’s my favorite thing in this world. So I’m telling you, me, the eternal sad one, the one who only wants from life its ephemerality and its youth: I want to live old with you. So thank you for making me feel all this.

[sachaabadeer11]

Come on sweetheart let’s adore one another, before there’s no more of you and me. My heart so precious, I won’t trade for a hundred thoughts and souls. Yet your one smile takes it for free. I desire you more than food and drink. My body, my senses, my mind hunger for your taste. I can sense your presence in my heart, although you belong to all the world. I wait with silent passion for one gesture, one glance from you. Have you ever gotten breathless before from a beautiful face, for I see you there my dear. This is love. To fly toward a secret sky. To cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.

[sachaabadeer11]

We don’t fall in-love with people because they’re good people. We fall in-love with people whose darkness we recognize. You can fall in-love with a person for all of the right reasons, but that kind of love can still fall apart. But when you fall in-love with a person because your monsters have found a home in them, that’s the kind of love that owns your skin and bones. Love, I am convinced is found in the darkness. It is the candle in the night. I will not have you without the darkness that hides within you. I will not let you have me without the madness that makes me. If our demons cannot dance, neither can we. When it’s time for souls to meet, there’s nothing on earth that can prevent them from meeting. No matter where each may be located. When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far, no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart. I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. And I will continue loving you in any version of reality.

[sachaabadeer11]

I love you so much. I did my best to give you the healthiest version of myself, despite everything that I’ve been through. You took me for a joke. Manipulating truths and providing a false sense of reassurance, boosting my blind hopes. I held you as if you were something I wasn’t deserving to hold, not knowing that you were taking from my mind, body, and soul. I was so unaware. Stupidly believing that you were for me. Though you were for them. Even in the moments when I was near, proximity stopped nothing. Even when I delivered my all in providing you unconditional loving. I saw you in ways that no one had ever attempted to. I was your number one supporter, cheering you on through everything you were going through and even in the anticipation of things that might be coming to you. But I suppose I got what I deserved. I gave you unmatched love and you gifted me a new found level of damage to my heart and trust. I believed in you. I desperately believed in us. I needed you. I needed you to fight at the same level, that I fought for us.

[sachaabadeer11]

Ya Allah, protect him from all his hardships, from all his pain, struggles, from all of his worries and stress. Ya Allah grant him and his parent good health. Ya Allah, forgive him for his sins, ya Allah accept his repentance. Ya Allah make a halal way for his income. Ya Allah bring his mind back to peace, Allah fulfill his life with success and happiness and hereafter make him more indulge in deen.

[sachaabadeer11]

Ya Allah, please teach me to be patient. Teach me to trust your decisions, teach me to trust your sense of timing rather than my own and to surrender my desires, my will to your plans for me. Teach me to accept what you want for me, help me be better, help me remain kind, help me smile with my aching heart. Help me to remain calm amidst all the chaos.

[sachaabadeer11]

I love you enough to fight for you, compromise for you, and sacrifice myself for you if I need to. Enough to miss you incredibly when we're apart no matter what length of time it is for and regardless of the long distance. Enough to believe in our relationship, to stand by it through the worst of times, to have faith in our strength as a couple, and to never give up on us. Enough to spend the rest of my life with you. Be there for you when you need, or want me, and never ever want to leave you, or to live without you. I love you. My life, my love, my soul forever. -S

[sachaabadeer11]

You’re special to me. You're the only one who I wouldn't mind losing sleep for, the only one who I can never get tired of talking to, and the only one who crosses my mind constantly throughout the day. You're the only one who can make me smile without trying, bringing down my mood without the intention to and affect my emotions with every action of yours. I can't explain with just words how much you mean to me, but you're the one I'm afraid of losing and the one I want to keep in my life and share everything with forever and ever. My love for you just grows and grows everyday. I love you to eternity.

[sachaabadeer11]

My Serene,

You've never failed to make me feel special and how much you fancies my entirety. There are days that you could've chosen of given up, to be weak and be swallowed in ignorance yet you didn't. No matter how tired you are, how exhausted you are, how much you desire for giving up, you didn't. You become strong in my stead, you become my strength when I'm on the verge of giving up, when you can ignore me and just rest. You chose to love me. You chose to be with me regardless of how painful it was just by staying by my side. I adore you, so much. It may sound corny or cliché. And it may sound cringe as well. You may call me stupid. And I'm well aware that it's still too early to oath for something uncertain, yet, I am certain in wanting to spend my life and my next lives with you. I will always look for you in every universe we are. I do not have anything in particular, only a word of uncertain future, a promise of tomorrow. Yet, I can assure you that you always and will always have me. I will accompany you, be with you, guide, help, give you strength and be your rest. I love you, my life, my soul, my everything.

[sachaabadeer11]

My Safe Place,

The years that I've spent with you; feels ethereal and eternity. Our life is filled with so much love. Although, there were arguments that leads to misunderstandings. Yet, those days, I have with you are the best days in my life. I've learned a lot and realized one thing; you are my safe place, my home.

[sachaabadeer11]

My Solace,

You're always the first and only person I run to whenever I’m fed up with life and whenever I'm exhausted, that all I wanna do is to run away. The first and only person who can bring solace to my whole system, the serenity I longed for. Life is suffocating indeed, yet with you, it feels free and magnificent.

[sachaabadeer11]

Amore Mio,

We might not have been each other's first love, but we are the love that made all the other loves irrelevant.

[sachaabadeer11]

‎أنا معك

حتى لو صار في بيني وبينك الف مشكله

يعني أنا وأنتا الصراحه

ما النا غير بعض

وتأكد انو مافي اي شيء بقدر يطلعك من قلبي

لا زعل ولا غياب ولا حتى عتاب

انت راح تضل بقلبي للأبد

وانا إلك وانت كفايتي

وسعادتي بهاي الحياة

وانت الشي اللي بشكر ربنا عليه كل يوم

I’m with you

Even if a thousand problems arise between us

I mean, me and you. Honestly.

We have no one but each other

And be rest assured that nothing can take you out of my heart

Not anger, not absence, nor even reproach

You'll remain in my heart forever

I'm yours and you're enough for me

And you're my happiness in this life

And you're the thing that I thank Allah for everyday.

[sachaabadeer11]

Being faithful in a relationship isn't just about staying out of someone else's bed. It's way deeper than that…

It's the texts you don't send, the flirty conversations you don't entertain, and the decisions you make when no one's watching. Being faithful isn't just about avoiding the act of cheating. It's about consciously removing yourself from any situation that could potentially blur the lines. It's about not seeking validation or attention from anyone outside the relationship. It's about not having anything on your phone that you wouldn't want your partner to see. Being truly faithful is not just about physical monogamy. It's about emotional integrity.

[sachaabadeer11]

Would I remarry if my husband passes away before me? No, no I will never remarry. Because I want him in this world, and in the akhirah. The first time I will see my husband in jannah, I will be lost in awe for fourty years. Every time I look at him, he becomes more and more handsome. He’s the only man I want in both worlds. My husband will be the best man amongst all men, so why would I remarry to choose another?