I’m glad there wasn’t any dub con this time but I really hope there is enthusiastic consent next time. There was such a huge tonal shift in the fandom in that I saw so many excited reactions before the sex scene but then they were disappointed after.
I guess it really depends on the perspective; is the glass half full or half empty? The story still has some ways to go until its resolution, but the glass has been filling up over the last few chapters, so I really can’t relate to the disappointment you mentioned, although I’m sure it’s there.
Looking at chapter 51 and 52 together really highlights how much Yashiro and Doumeki still care about each other. Even though Doumeki wanted to be rough, Yashiro started trembling and heating up as soon as Doumeki touched him; Y put his hands on Doumeki’s head and then tried to take his shirt off. He was being an active participant. Last time they had sex Yashiro barely touched Doumeki, and he certainly didn’t take D’s clothes off. And despite how physical Doumeki was being (i.e., throwing Yashiro to the ground, ripping off his clothes, biting his nipple, pinning his hands, flipping him around, etc.), Yashiro wasn’t showing signs of fear; if he was afraid he wouldn’t have attacked D when he saw the tattoo either. Yashiro came multiple times, despite being unable to get hard with Inami and Kido. I also thought it was very interesting that Doumeki knew that if he kissed Yashiro, it would lead him to climax hmmm
I think chapter 51 and 52 had a lot of details that subtly revealed their invisible interpersonal dynamic, that before, we could only guess existed. What I mean by that is, before these chapters, there was no way of knowing what was really motivating Yashiro and Doumeki’s actions. Did Doumeki drive Yashiro home because he wanted to privately tell him to abandon the case? Did Doumeki tell Yashiro to stay away from Inami because he didn’t want Yashiro’s relationship to interfere with his investigation? Did Yashiro refuse to be intimate with Doumeki because he doesn’t care about him? Now we know that, actually, there’s trust between them— not fear— and that makes it a lot easier to see how their old feelings are still there and have been this whole time. Trust isn't the missing piece, it's something else entirely. If they didn’t trust each other, this whole scene would have gone a lot differently.
The fact that Yashiro was so quick to surrender to Doumeki, and even express his anger toward him; or that Doumeki had the guts to manhandle Yashiro, and the conscientiousness to surrender to his frustration, only shows that they are connected by an invisible thread, a common understanding that’s been guiding them this whole time. They are both aware, to some extent, that they are safe around each other. Yashiro knows Doumeki won’t hurt him, and Doumeki knows that Yashiro cares about him in his own way. It’s like being in a room full of people, but you know there’s one person in there that knows you, cares about you, and is watching you secretly— but no one else is aware of this and only you can sense it. This is what the story has been like for us as readers; we can watch Doumeki and Yashiro’s big actions, but we can’t feel what they feel when they’re around each other. It’s easy to misinterpret behaviour when you can’t sense someone’s eyes on you, or their body language when you’re in the room, or the way they move closer, or how their tone changes when they speak to you, and the topic of their conversation matches yours, etc. Clearly, Yashiro and Doumeki have been picking up on these subtle cues, and they have both determined that there’s still a spark between them, there’s still trust and care between them. That's why they are still around each other, getting closer and closer. It's just that they are hesitant about revealing too much, too soon.
Anyways, knowing this, I can more confidently say, Doumeki and Yashiro weren’t being malicious toward one another. This entire time, they were pulling for each other. There’s just a lack of self-confidence on both their ends, coming from past experience, and they’re afraid of getting hurt again. They’re taking it slow and feeling it out, but it’s moving in the right direction imo. I think in chapter 51&52, the heat and passion between them temporarily suspended their doubt and apprehension, allowing them to be more authentic with each other, but as soon as the act was over, they came back to their normal senses, the self-doubt came back, and so did their walls. Yashiro was back to believing that Doumeki had changed more than he has stayed the same. I find that he reminisces a lot about the old Doumeki, poor guy. But regardless of the fluctuations in their beliefs and confidence, I believe the glass is getting fuller and their walls are falling more frequently and intensely than every previous time. Personally, I really enjoyed this chapter and I thought it pushed their relationship to the next level, so I'm excited for chapter 53- it seems like they're gonna talk about some stuff which is always fun. Thanks for the ask and sorry for the late reply!
