sailor shitpost

30+ year old queer woman who still watches sentai cartoons made for small Japanese children. I made this blog to catalogue all the Sailor Moon shitposting that I once subjected my Twitter followers to. (Now I subject my Tumblr followers to the shitposting.) "Girls worry a lot because we're complicated!" - Usagi Tsukino

[sailorshitpost]

celebrate setsuna meiou’s birthday today the setsuna meiou way, by:

- standing completely alone by yourself in front of a stone door for all eternity, because time is an illusion

- becoming a physicist, astronomer and doctor within two years of each other

- maintaining at least three different versions of yourself at any time

- advocating polyamory

- fantasizing about your boss

- co-parenting a small child who is actually the harbinger of the apocalypse

- co-parenting your hot boss’s small ignored child

- actually just co-parenting everyone you come across. everyone

- big earring energy

- having the most broken, over-powered abilities among all you friends and never using them bc that would ruin their fun

- abracadabra? sure, why not. abracadabra. time and death are illusions

- letting everyone guess your ethnicity while smiling mysteriously to yourself in the corner

- being exhausted with “pluto is not a planet” jokes because you’ve been listening to them for 10+ years now and it’s even more unfunny than it ever was (which was never. they were never funny)

happy birthday to the true momfriend of the sailor senshi, my darkly glamorous anomaly of messy storytelling, sailor pluto aka setsuna meiou

[sailorshitpost]

celebrate minako aino’s birthday today the minako aino way, by:

- doing it both first, and better

- wistfully reminiscing on your evil monster first crush, who you killed because he was an evil monster, because he was such a snack, despite being an evil monster

- faking it until you make it

- throwing explosive radioactive kiss energy at thine enemies

- getting upset when a guy DOESN’T send you a dick pic on tinder

- stabbing the evil bitch who keeps bullying your best friend with a poisonous holy sword from the moon

- “congratulations… i played myself” “what”

- cosplaying as a sexy nurse while taking care of your sick friends

- horny on main

- bullying your loser cat, except when he turns into a hot guy 

- waking up like that

- stanning your queen so hard that you swear off men for the next 1,000 years

- never apologizing

happy birthday to my HEROINE OF MY HEROINES, GODDESS AMONG GODDESSES, ROYAL AMONG ROYALTY, minako aino aka sailor v aka sailor venus

may you be serenaded by 100 sexy jpop idols

[alevolpe]

Found a doodle hidden in the depths of my IPad, from January called GuardianAngel. Thought someone might enjoy it here<3

[cannibalchicken]

[dangerousperfectionparadise]

Artist graphic by JackoWcastillo on devianart

[festeringfae]

Humor me

I have seen and enjoy both Riverdale and Spiderman 3 (2007)

I have seen both but only enjoy Spiderman 3

I have seen both but only enjoy Riverdale

I am reblogging in exchange for seeing the results u mad woman op

Voting ended onSep 20, 2023

[sailorshitpost]

celebrate ami mizuno’s birthday today the ami mizuno way, by:

- studying in the bathtub

- updating your secret robocop fan blog

- staring at your dad wordlessly for 10 minutes, communicating only through a series of vague interpretive dance moves, and when he leaves the room never to be seen again until next year, applauding him for being a great dad

- studying at the beach

- tracking down your favorite musician youtuber to give them your fan-made lyrics to one of their songs

- wearing a sleeveless shirt

- posing for a photo with your mouth open, about to accept a large cheeseburger into your gullet

- studying at your friend’s birthday party

- blowing bubbles at anyone who has wronged you

- breaking a diamond ring (no biggie)

- asking that one cute “friend” of yours to dance with you at the sock hop

- studying at the sock hop

- internalizing your pent-up sexual energy towards a boy who keeps beating you on exams as an educational rivalry

- diving into a swimming pool from the 20th story of a skyscraper, like the badass motherfucker that you are

happy birthday, you beautiful and never dehydrated bitch

[silvermoon424]

[dayasan]

He would not fucking say that but let's indulge

[jeaniefranklins]

#honestly some people really are out there writing characters OOC#but within the story the characterization is consistent and engaging#and you’re like…ah…sometimes a weed is just a plant out of place

[twilightofthesandwiches]

Revolutionary Girl Utena is an Incredibly Meaningful and Emotionally Powerful Anime With Many Important Messages

The patriarchy is a toxic and deeply ingrained aspect of our culture that hurts everyone regardless of gender and social status, although ‘outsider’ women suffer from it the most - as they become the scapegoat and outlet for the suffering of others.

The concept of ideal masculinity is a myth that will basically kill anyone earnestly trying to reach it

The idealization and the demonization of women are both deeply sexist and harmful phenomena that spring from the same source

The romanticism of Fairy Tales shapes much of the way we as a culture think and is often used to reinforce regressive views of heroism and gender

Reality is a subjective fabrication. The way we view and process the world is so deeply shaped by our preconceived notions that we’re all basically living in different worlds.

Victims do not need to be morally perfect to deserve sympathy and support

Our conception of heroism is often interviewed with a condescending desire to deny victims, especially victimized women, their own agency.

Our memories are not as set in stone as we would like to believe and can easily be warped and manipulated based on our preconceptions or societal expectations

Clinging to the idea of childhood innocence past its moment will just corrupt into something much darker and uglier and probably incest-y

Gay

It’s a big mistake to think you’re the only one who can turn into a car

[magistera]

Sailor Saturn for @cloudxstrife

[sailorshitpost]

The Bottom 10 Worst Sailor Moon Episodes! A new podcast I recorded this weekend with my frequent collaborator on youtube, Kai aka clearandsweet (https://www.youtube.com/@clearandsweet). Thanks for inviting me on the channel again to talk about Sailor Moon!!

[sailorshitpost]

"The manga flat out has Mamoru getting a nosebleed when he sees girls Robert's age and then later on in the chapter, *actually pulls up their skirts to see their panties*, which is... ACTUAL child SA. And just like the anime, its played for laughs, but because its funny that Mamoru is being so horny, not because people are disturbed that Mamoru is literally being a pedophile." Is this true? This comment was left in The Worst Sailor Moon Episodes: Another Podcast video.

No, and I'm not sure what they're talking about. I have no recollection of this happening in the manga and it's suspicious for them to be so vague about it. I'm willing to bet $10 that they're misremembering or just bringing up an extremely standard nosebleed gag that was super common back in the 90s. That's obviously not the same thing as having a whole episode dedicated to p*dophilia.

But either way, this has nothing to do with the point I was trying to make about that Fisheye episode. That whole comment was very weird, it really seemed like they just wanted to argue with me about the manga.

[ree-fireparrot]

I think they might be referring to the side story where Chibiusa’s two ditzy friends become parody Senshi in order to save an antiques shop. It was a bonus page and I felt very OOC for Mamoru, though he didn’t actually pull their skirts up (it was the wind, at least in the English version).

I agree though, not as bad as Fisheye going after a child for a whole episode.

[sailorshitpost]

You know what, you’re probably right! That’s the only thing I think they could possibly be talking about. But like... that whole manga chapter is essentially a non-canon shitpost. It isn’t meant to be taken seriously and it’s endemic of the standard “nosebleed humor” I mentioned that was so popular in 90′s animanga for some reason. It’s REALLY a stretch to conflate that with the Unforgivable Fisheye Episode. But like I said, that whole comment came off to me as a bad faith attempt to pick a fight, so I’m not surprised. Manga/Takeuchi haters really get so weird about certain things.

[sailorshitpost]

"The manga flat out has Mamoru getting a nosebleed when he sees girls Robert's age and then later on in the chapter, *actually pulls up their skirts to see their panties*, which is... ACTUAL child SA. And just like the anime, its played for laughs, but because its funny that Mamoru is being so horny, not because people are disturbed that Mamoru is literally being a pedophile." Is this true? This comment was left in The Worst Sailor Moon Episodes: Another Podcast video.

No, and I'm not sure what they're talking about. I have no recollection of this happening in the manga and it's suspicious for them to be so vague about it. I'm willing to bet $10 that they're misremembering or just bringing up an extremely standard nosebleed gag that was super common back in the 90s. That's obviously not the same thing as having a whole episode dedicated to p*dophilia.

But either way, this has nothing to do with the point I was trying to make about that Fisheye episode. That whole comment was very weird, it really seemed like they just wanted to argue with me about the manga.

[sailorshitpost]

celebrate chiba mamoru’s birthday today the chiba mamoru way, by:

- riding the kiddie train

- always having a witty comeback

- purple pleated pants

- god-tier patience, useful for managing the two insane women in your life

- dressing up in a cape and tuxedo while you’re out on the town to steal jewels, except you never really seem to steal any jewels ever

- carrying your cape and tuxedo around with you everywhere so you can do some not-stealing at a moment’s notice

- scheduling your annual brainwashing/kidnapping appointment early this year

- “study hard, bunhead”

- hanging out with the gay kid when you were little when no one else would

- mercilessly stabbing a balloon monster with a fucking knife like the hardcore motherfucker you are

- going out for drinks with a cat

happy birthday you underappreciated and misunderstood prince of my heart

[rokipu]

I raise the white banner, I am the destroyer

[sailorshitpost]

celebrate seiya kou’s birthday today the seiya kou way, by:

- channeling your inner 2nd grader to get the attention of your crush in the only way you know how: annoying the shit out of them

- shopping at good will for brightly colored business suits (hue must be as saturated as possible)

- backwards baseball hat

- ideal lqqk for aerobics class: sweatband, purple croptop, and underwear proudly worn on the outside of your leggings

- being smart enough to know that antagonizing the only people who can help you is probably a bad idea

- visit your mysterious twin sister in italy, who magically switches places with you every time you transform into a woman. wait, no, twin sister, TWIN SISTER

- keeping your date’s carnival prize to yourself. totally “miss” that said date thinks you wanna fuck in a dance club

- broodingly strum a guitar

- ignite the flames of 10,000 years of shipping wars

happy birthday, you beautiful disaster lesbian