You two become close after working as partners for the akatsuki. He’s insufferable but you’re either a similar type of insufferable or an inhumanly patient person
Either way, you guys become friends, but there’s always that tension. He makes sex jokes about basically every woman he encounters - but with you it feels different. His eyes linger on you for a little too long when he thinks you’re not paying attention, he comes up with excuses to touch you. Nothing romantic, but certainly not platonic either.
After a night of sitting outside the hideout, drinking and talking about nothing - a frequent activity for you two - something snaps. There’s a long silence, and you’re staring up at the sky when suddenly you feel a hand cupping your face, guiding you towards his.
His kisses are sloppy but passionate, it kinda feels like he’s chewing on your face but he manages to get you hot and bothered enough to prompt you to start undressing.
He’s a huge biter. The kisses he trails down your body are peppered with nibbles, and he definitely leaves more than one deep purple hickey.
After the two of you are naked his hands are quick to make their way to your already wet center. He starts by just rubbing your folds, eliciting an airy moan from you
He’s a huge tease though so if you want him to continue you’re gonna have to ask him. Or beg, depending on his mood.
Despite his impatience, he’s incredibly skilled at pleasing you. Pulls your legs over his shoulders and works absolute magic, rubbing your clit vigorously while lapping at your sweetness
He get’s so, so close to making you cum, letting you grab a fistful of his white hair as you’re thrusting your hips against his mouth. But it’s almost like he can sense it because he pulls away right when you’re at your breaking point
“The party’s just begun, Princess!”
When it comes time to have sex, he’s rough and abrupt, just like he is in terms of fingering you and kissing you. He doesn’t give you much time to adjust, just dropping you down onto him. which is too bad because he’s hung
He sets a pretty slow pace to start, allowing for the initial pain to subside pretty quickly and be replaced with pleasure. He tries to fuck you as deeply as he can as much as possible, burying as much of his cock in you as he can. As soon as he starts to graze your g spot, you become a whimpering mess again and he just laughs
It doesn’t take long for him to pick up speed, and in no time you’re bouncing on his cock, relishing in how much he fills you. You swear you see stars when he starts hitting your cervix, the pleasure’s so intense
You can tell he’s getting close from the way he’s grunting and gripping your shoulders. You’re getting pretty close too - so close you don’t even realize he’s fumbling next to the two of you, seemingly looking for something. You come to your senses long enough to see that it’s a kunai knife.
He hands it to you with a trembling hand, sweating.
“Stab me, Princess,” he pants between thrusts, “as hard as you can.”
What? Did you hear him right? Of course you did. Man’s a masochist, no one should be surprised
So, as you feel that familiar knot building in your stomach, you shakily drive the kunai in between his shoulder blades. He yells loudly, both from the pain and pleasure. Blood leaks from the knife, and you suddenly feel his cock twitch inside you before feeling the warmth of his cum being released inside you. This is just what you need to be sent over the edge, clenching around his still-hard cock and screaming his name as you hit your climax.
Afterwards, there’s not much cuddling. You both pass out outside of the hideout unclothed and wake up with a wicked hangover. You’re MORTIFIED when you’re woken up by one of your fellow akatsuki members, but of course Hidan thinks it’s hilarious.
Yes, the dagger is still in the morning. No, you don’t see him pull it out. All you know is that it’s gone the next time you hook up: that’s why he asks you to stab him again ;)
You probably met while training! Maybe you met at a tournament and put up a valiant fight against him, or you ran into him in a remote yet gorgeous training spot outdoors. Either way you hit it off immediately! If you aren’t a fighter, then you probably were set up on a blind date through Bulma lmao
You aren’t able to spend much time together, but when you’re on dates or training together you feel like you’re in heaven. He makes you feel so incredibly special: I like to think that since the Cell Saga, he’s learned that not everyone is inherently a fighter and that’s okay! He makes sure to take an interest in your interests no matter what they are
Cooking. Lots of cooking. Or eating takeout. I’d say you can look forward to leftovers but I doubt there’ll be any lmao
Lots of laughter, whether intentional or not. Mans is a huge goofball and always tries to make you laugh, but some of his funniest moments are just him acting as his usual self hehe, he's so nonchalant when telling you stories about his past you can't help but laugh at how casually he describes getting shot and dying lmao
His love language is definitely touch! He’s very clingy so get ready for cuddles in the middle of the night after a looong training session, arms wrapped around your waist as you cook breakfast, or even just holding your hand as you walk down the street together!
I feel like he’d absolutely LOVE theme parks as a date, but he’d definitely force you to go on the biggest rollercoasters / death drop rides so be warned
Also enjoys any type of outdoorsy activity with you! Rock climbing, nature walks, even just fishing with you! Be ready to cook whatever he catches though
Despite not always being present he’s a 10/10 BF hehe
Vegeta
Cracks knuckles
You’d probably have to be the first one to make a move if you saw him at a coffee shop or a party and found him cute, even after you give him your number he waits like two weeks to text you
Once you two start dating though he switches his attitude REAL quick
He’d never admit it, but unlike Goku, he definitely prioritizes your dates and pleasing you over training. He’ll be in the middle of sparring with Goku and remember that you two have a date soon and make up a lame excuse to leave (probably claiming he’s hurt Goku enough for the time being or something along those lines) before dipping lmao
I love the headcanon that Saiyans love strong women because even if you’re not physically strong, if you’re snarky enough you and geets are gonna have LOTS of fun
Bullying is his love language.It’s constant but if you try and return it at all he’ll get all defensive and pissy
Can talk about your inferiority all day but you make a single height joke? Nope. He’s done he’s out go apologize to him Right Now
Actual love language is quality time! He’s not great with words or PDA but will always go shopping with you or take you out to eat. And don’t you dare think about paying how could you even think to damage his ego like that
Very cuddly in private though, won’t ask for it he’ll just sit at the edge of your shared couch/bed and stare at you until you go over to him and wrap your arms around him, running a hand through his hair.
If you’re an artist do NOT draw him/paint him/etc. unless you want his ego to increase exponentially
Krillin
I feel like If You Are A Woman, then you’re Krillin’s type.
Absolutely the type to make you food / homemade gifts to express affection even if they’re not great. You love them all anyways! He tries to make your favorite meal one day and it tastes burnt and raw but you can’t let him know that so you eat absolutely as much as you can without puking
You probably met by both being friends with either Bulma or Chi-Chi and therefore spent a lot of time at Kame house. Definitely a friends to lovers situation
Which adds an even more stable ground to your relationship! You’ve got friendship and history that makes your relationship even better, inside jokes that date back to before you were dating
Like Goku, he’s also a huge joker. Probably even more than Goku, but definitely more purposeful with his jokes and with
One of his go-to jokes is trying on brightly colored wigs and it never fails to leave you howling
Will literally do anything you ask him to, he just wants to make you happy. You need him to drive you somewhere? Hes on his way. You need cuddles? Always. You need to vent? Hes all ears.
pleasepleasePLEASE dont take advantage of this trait
Piccolo
HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT…. Even though Piccolo is akin to plants in that he’s green and only requires water to survive, there are certain types of plants that do reproduce sexually!
Piccolo absolutely values intellect and morality over looks but hes a tough nut to crack so you’d better be in it for the long haul
Lots of your dates are just sitting under trees together meditating, reading or sitting in silence
Piccolos love language is absolutely gift giving and hes amazing at it. He knows what you want/need before you do. You wake up one morning and think to yourself about how you could use a cute new outfit and by the end of the day there’s a new dress on your bed that looks amazing on you. He also LOVES making you breakfast in bed, or any meal really if you’re too exhausted from your day to cook.
Don’t get me wrong, he can be intimate. He’s just emotionally constipated alright ! But when he opens up you better be ready to listen bc not many get that privilege
Absolute freak in bed
You have to be willing to get along with Gohan. Non-negotiable. If you start dating while Gohan’s a kid, you absolutely go on dates together with Gohan tagging along like your adopted child. If he’s older, then the three of you regularly get together to catch up and maybe act as adoptive grandparents to Pan!
When tutoring Gohan proves to be a bit boring, your attention turns elsewhere...(Piccolo/Fem!Reader Fluff. SFW, Minors DNI.)
//Shoutout to the ask I got with the prompt having something to do with a character unsure about why the reader or MC was watching them! Sadly the ask is no longer in my inbox, nor do I remember the name of the sender, but it was a big inspiration for this story!
When you signed up to be a children’s math tutor, you had no idea what you were getting yourself into. Most of the kids you worked with were sweet and cooperative for the most part - some were a little mopey when you forced them to try equations on their own - but they were quick to improve compared to when you first started working with them. Gohan was no different: in fact, he was far beyond most kids his age, and you had to wonder why his mother had hired you. While Gohan himself was very mild-mannered, the environment you often walked into was…not. You would sit down at the kitchen counter to do some problems with Gohan just to watch his father run in, down multiple containers of leftovers without bothering to sit down, and then jog back out to do whatever it was he was doing. You heard his mother yelling constantly about how much he was training and how he wasn’t being a great role model for his son. Eventually, you figured you would have better luck tutoring Gohan outside.
Gohan seemed amiable to the idea. The weather was starting to warm up, and you even started to bring a blanket for the two of you to sit on while you worked. You were unsure if Gohan’s parents were in an unhappy marriage, or if they were just unusually loud - either way, you no longer had to deal with them. The first few tutoring sessions outside went flawlessly, and you left feeling proud. It wasn’t long until some new strange…thing popped up, however.
And that was exactly what it was, a thing. Or perhaps a man, you couldn’t be sure.The first day you noticed it, or him, you were in the middle of explaining long division to Gohan. You trailed off when you saw the…creature cross the yard and gingerly sit down, propping himself against a nearby tree.
“Mrs. [L/N]? What were you saying?”
“Hm?” Your attention was jolted back to the child in front of you. Gohan followed your gaze and laughed.
“Oh, that’s just Mr. Piccolo. He likes to come here to meditate sometimes.” You just nodded, although that raised further questions. How could this eight year old be so calm about a man - if you could even call him that - wandering onto his property? Was this Piccolo human? Could he be trusted?
You had heard rumors of aliens, invasions that could have caused disasters had it not been for a special fighting force on earth. They consisted of super-humans, or so you figured. Though you had never really put much stock into the idea in general. Perhaps you should have. You decided that Piccolo's origins and intentions were above your paygrade, so you handed Gohan a list of division problems and asked him to complete them what you had just gone over.
It didn’t take long for you to become accustomed to Piccolo's presence. It seemed that he enjoyed the fresh air and quiet, much like you and Gohan did. Sometimes, you would study him while Gohan was busy with his work: the way his face was so serious despite its peaceful state, the occasional twitch of his antennae, the bicep muscles that poked out from underneath his cape, somehow bulging even when he just had his fingertips lightly pressed together. Gohan often had to poke you or call your name to bring your attention back to reality.
Gohan’s final math test of the year was coming up, and his mother - Chi-Chi was her name, you learned - asked you to come in more and more frequently as the test grew closer.
“...and if we divide by two, what would the answer be?”
“One hundred and ten,” Gohan murmured, picking at the grass below you two.
“Very good! Let’s see…” You looked over your lesson plans, trying to find something the two of you haven’t covered yet. “How about we review the multiplication table, then? Can you tell me what twelve times nine is?” You asked, trying to think of one that might challenge him.
“One hundred and eight,” Gohan’s answer was immediate: his gaze was on the sky now, seemingly more interested in the clouds than in multiplication. Sighing, you put your lesson plans down. You felt bad for the kid: he was more than prepared for the test. It wasn’t his fault his mother was a nut.
“Alright, what do you say I give you these worksheets, and when you finish, you sketch some of the prettiest clouds you see for me?” You suggested, grabbing a few worksheets.
Gohan’s eyes widened, “But mom wants me to study as much as I can before my big test!”
“Trust me, Gohan,” you smiled, “I wouldn’t be offering this if I thought you weren’t more than prepared.” Gohan hesitantly took the worksheets and you turned away, content. This way Gohan could get a bit of a break and you could still get paid.
You had come prepared for this very situation. Rummaging around in your bag, you pulled out a worn-down leather sketchbook and a pencil, deciding to do a bit of drawing yourself. First, you started sketching individual blades of grass, harshly dragging your pencil against the paper to encapsulate a bit of texture. But that quickly grew boring. You sketched a few interestingly shaped clouds - one seemed to be shaped like a dragon, another a hand - but the day was shockingly clear. Most of the clouds were either fluffy and nebulous or too small to appear interesting. You huffed and lowered your gaze back down, resting your chin in your palm.
That was when you spotted Piccolo. He was a bit further away than usual, but still visible as ever in his purple gi.
Perfect.
You started with a simple outline - his straight back, the way his slender fingers just barely touched, his elbows resting stiffly on crossed knees. There was a delicacy in his posture, a delicacy you tried to capture. After sketching his body, you moved onto his facial features: his peaceful eyes that still held a certain seriousness even when closed, the way his face was turned slightly upwards, and, of course, his antennae. You were just adding his ears when you heard a voice in your ear.
“Whatcha drawing?”
You yelped and pulled your sketchbook close to you, turning to the kid next to you. You must have lost track of time - all of Gohan’s worksheets were completed and there were even a few sketches of clouds in the margins.
“Nothing, it - it’s nothing!” You checked your watch. “It seems like we’ve only got a few minutes left anyways, so we can -”
“Hey, that’s Mr. Piccolo!” Gohan was leaning in closer, squinting at your drawing. “Yeah! That’s a really good drawing, Ms. [L/N]. You should show him!”
You looked at Gohan, bewildered. Show him? Why would someone like Piccolo be interested in a drawing of yours? He’d been nothing but stoic every time you’d seen him.
“He told me he’s caught you watching him, y’know.”
“He has? How does - I mean, why does he think I was watching him?” You could’ve sworn each time you had stolen glances, Piccolo’s eyes had been closed. Gohan just shrugged.
“I dunno. But he asks about you, sometimes.”
“Really…” You tilted your head, turning your gaze back to Piccolo. As if on cue, he opened a single eye and raised a brow questioningly. The sudden eye contact sent what felt like a jolt of electricity through your system, and you quickly averted your gaze. You could have sworn you heard a deep chuckle in the distance, and your ears burned red.
You were here to teach, damnit! Not gawk at alien creatures in your client’s yard. You looked wearily back at Gohan, who nodded encouragingly. Maybe…maybe if you gave him the drawing, you’d stop thinking about him. Without another word, you stood up and tore the drawing out of your sketchbook, tossing the book to the ground. You tried to walk quietly so as not to disturb him - maybe you could put it next to him or something and pray it didn’t blow away - but Piccolo opened his eyes as soon as you started to get close.
“Yes?” His voice was gruff, but not harsh. You held out the drawing pathetically, and you couldn’t help but notice how his calloused fingers brushed yours as he grabbed the drawing from you. He looked it over and chuckled to himself, and you felt yourself get even redder. Eventually, he looked up, and you were surprised to see that there was a gentleness in his eyes.
“When are you coming back?”
“I-I’m unsure - Gohan’s final math test for the year is in a few days, so I don’t think I’ll need to be back -”
“Come back in a week. I’ll be training Gohan in the woods then.”
You opened your mouth to ask what he meant by training, or why they were going into the woods, or why Gohan’s parents trust him with their son, but Piccolo shut his eyes as soon as he finished speaking, so you took it as a sign that the conversation was finished. You walked back to collect your belongings from under the tree where you and Gohan had been working. Hearing a knock coming from the house behind you, you looked back to see Gohan beaming out of one of the house’s windows, giving you two thumbs up. You smiled to yourself, walking back to your car with your bag, your hands still shaking. You weren’t sure what was coming next, but it was sure to be interesting.
🧫 e-colin Follow
Another day, another dollar trying to infect this host! Rise and grind pathogens 💸
4 μnotes
🦠 cell287776540923 Follow
might fuck around and reactivate my oncogenes later
💊 mr-t-cell1989
grins at you violently
2,334 μnotes
🦠 natkiller28937 Follow
Who up patrolling the body for cells without MHC Class I molecules 😎😎
🧬 nora-virus Follow
You know what? This isn't okay.
Pathogens work hard to infect host cells and reproduce. It's the only way for them to perpetuate their own existence. Letting pathogens infect host cells is absolutely necessary to prevent their total extermination. Killing is wrong! Immune cells need to learn to be tolerant of other microbes instead of destroying us just because we want to seize and consume this body's resources.
C'mon Vegeta lives with Bulma, the fashion icon of Dragonball
There's no way he doesn't have a room full of every kind of clothes with every color on the color wheel. Let us see what he's got and please let it be something other than BLUE this time
Hi!! Saw you wanted shika requests (and non lol), so if you want either of these? (or neither, no worries!)
Best friend shikamaru being so DONE with the day he's had and you being brat-ish so he threatens to shadow strangle you and you come back with the 'ha! jokes on you, I'm into that shit'
Or
Having to share a workshop with kankuro but getting strung up trying to move some of his puppets out of the way
Anyway, good luck and hope you have a good day!
You tempt me, kind anon.
(I'm making this a bit shorter, I hope that's okay!)
By the time Shikamaru arrived at your apartment, helping himself through the balcony door, he was pissed.
What started out as a frustrating day turned into an infuriating one, and by the time it was all said and done, Shika was thoroughly over it. That was evident the moment he landed on your couch with a grumble, resting his feet on the coffee table.
While it wasn’t unusual for his eyebrows to be knit together in thought, the molten anger in his gaze was the telling sign. Shikamaru often used your place as his escape, but he didn’t typically bring his frustration with him.
“Who fucked up the mission this time?” You asked with the slightest bit of humor in your tone, since harmless teasing was something you and Shikamaru weren’t shy about.
Sat on the floor while doing your makeup in front of your full-length mirror in the bathroom, you were able to hear the tension in his voice even then.
“There’s too many to name.”
“That sounds lovely, I’m glad you had a great day, Shika,” you returned, amusing only yourself.
Shikamaru scoffed from his place. “Don’t even get me started.”
“Why not? I don’t see angry you very often,” you murmured, carefully layering the mascara on your lashes. You blinked slowly as to not smear it beneath your eyes.
“For good reason,” Shikamaru muttered as he splayed across the couch, fully prepared to relax for the evening and to forget about the god-awful day he had. “I’m not very fun when I’m angry.”
Shikamaru tucked his arms behind his head and huffed a big breath. There was something about your place that always made him feel at home. He certainly helped himself often.
“Lame,” you said to yourself, standing up at last and putting your things away. You did one last spritz of perfume before you performed the final mirror check.
“What are you getting all dolled up for?” Shika asked, eyes closed and more than comfortable on the couch. “Trying to impress me and the tv?”
Leaving the bathroom to meet up with him, you furrowed your brows at the sight of him. He was out of his flak jacket and dressed in his at-home attire. The stay-in-and-be-lazy outfit.
“For the dinner we planned?” You questioned incredulously, narrowing your eyes at him. “Did you forget already? We talked about it yesterday.”
“Fuck...” Shika groaned, tossing his head back as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You totally did forget!”
“Fine, I did,” he grumbled, rubbing his hands over his face before he looked in your direction. “Today was terrible and I just wanted to get back here.”
“Typical Shikamaru,” you tutted, grabbing a glass of water for him like you always did.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
You snickered at his feigned offence. You assumed he was only exaggerating anyway, since it wasn’t like him to take anything personally. “We’ve been friends since forever, Shika. I know you better than you know yourself.”
Shikamaru locked his gaze with yours the moment you handed him the glass, and he cocked a brow. “With that logic, you should know that I don’t wanna go anywhere when I’m annoyed.”
His words pieced together his deeper meaning within your head, and you dropped the humored look completely. Your features tightened with disbelief.
“No way, Shikamaru! You promised we would go!”
Shikamaru sighed and placed the cup down on the coffee table before he leaned back against the couch. He shook his head. “I don’t feel like it tonight.”
“But I want to!” You retorted, moving around the couch to sit across from him. You pointed at your face. “I got ready and everything!”
“That’s too bad,” Shika returned with less friendliness and more irritation. He reached for the remote and turned the tv on instead, choosing to ignore you and your minor fit. “You look good if it counts for anything.”
Completely ignoring the half-assed compliment, you grabbed the remote the moment it hit the cushion and the tv turned back off with a click. “Don’t ignore me. We can stop at your place so you can get changed.”
Shikamaru closed his eyes again, as if to block out your stubbornness. It never worked, of course.
“Get off your ass, we’re going to get dinner.”
“No, we’re not. Let’s just get takeout and chill here.”
“But we always do that!” You whined, pulling the remote away as Shikamaru reached for it again.
“You’re being a brat.”
“So? You’re being an ass.”
“Stop whining.”
“Make me!”
Finally at his wits end, Shikamaru snapped, eyes landing on you at last, laced with his raw frustration. “If you don’t shut up, I’ll shadow strangle you!”
While you were stunned by the outburst that was very unlike him, you couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled in your chest. Shika didn’t scare you—he never did.
Shikamaru narrowed his gaze at you, voice dropping to a mutter. “What’s so funny?”
You gave him a shit-eating grin and leaned into that threat. “Jokes on you, Shika. I’m into that shit.”
The silence that filled the room then was deafening as Shikamaru’s mind reeled with your words, and the anger fell from his expression entirely. He blinked back at you, baffled.
When you didn’t back-pedal with embarrassment, the realization hit him then as he released a small “oh,” followed by, “that’s an interesting development.”
“You’re not so tough now, huh?” You chided, perhaps more confidently than you should’ve.
The breath was stolen from your chest the moment Shikamaru threw himself into you, pressing your back against the armrest while he looked down at you with those big brown eyes, tense with a new-found glaze over them.
“Shika—”
“If you’re gonna be a smartass, then I guess we’ll see how much you can take,” Shikamaru snapped at you, allowing another side of him to gleam through. The corner of his lip pulled up in a smirk. “If you’re brave enough, that is.”
You swallowed hard, never anticipating you’d find yourself in such a compromising position with Shikamaru. But the chill that ran down your spine gave your true feelings away.
There was no denying how that idea woke up all the right areas you kept otherwise dormant, and you even welcomed how close he was to you. Your curiosity wanted to know just how far he would take it.
Shikamaru slipped a thigh between your legs and you gasped immediately at the sensation. He chuckled quietly and leaned against his elbow that rested next to your head, bringing his other hand up to lift your chin to look firmly at him. “Don’t act like neither of us saw this coming, y/n.”
Something deep within you keened at those words, and your insides pooled immediately. You never completely eliminated sex with Shikamaru from the equation, but you didn’t expect it to ever really be on the table.
It made your whole body feel nimble and pliable to his touch. While you felt more at his mercy, you couldn’t hold back your own cockiness.
“I was just waiting for you to fold.”
Amused, Shikamaru gripped your throat with his fingers latched around it just enough for you to feel the slight tension. He tilted your head back and watched as you moved against the thigh between your legs. He hummed, “We’ll see who folds first.”
A weak moan left your lips as Shikamaru grounded into your core, and your fingers instinctively reached up at his shirt, only for that familiar black shadow to encircle both your wrists and pin you against the couch.
Breathlessly, you gazed at Shikamaru and wondered if you were in over your head. Still, the want pooled in your panties and you clenched against the nothingness inside you.
Shikamaru’s smirk remained on those tempting lips as he leaned closer and brushed them against the skin of your neck. Your whole body erupted in chills at the light sensation, hungry for more. He laughed quietly at the shiver that coursed through you and pressed the next kisses more feverishly as he moved upward.
You were already squirming against his touch, desperate to feel him. To fuck properly. The slight pressure of his warm body against yours wasn’t enough. A broken whimper gave away your deepest, filthiest needs.
Shikamaru hovered his lips above yours while he looked down at you like his prey, teasing you all the while. He knew he already had you. “My money’s on you, baby.”
There was no denying how completely fucked you were the moment Shikamaru pressed his lips against yours hotly, not pulling his punches for even a second. All sense melted away from your mind and you could only see and feel Shika, utterly uninterrupted.
While Shikamaru felt like he already won, you got exactly what you wanted.
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