saltine thoughts

if you think you know me, no you don’t i just [redacted]post on here (:

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ALL MY FRIENDS ARE PULLING PEOPLE AND THE ONLY THING IVE PULLED IS A PUSH DOOR ON THE WAY OUT OF AN INTERVIEW 😭

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okay guys forget Jack in the boxes the scariest jump scares are those soap bottles that you twist to open when you first use them.

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my current mood: patiently waiting for my grades to drop after failing my finals

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UPDATE: so yeah I did fail my math final that week for first semester *but* I did manage to maintain my decent grade this second semester (:

(shoutout to my teacher who added a very generous curve)

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The other night I hit my knee really hard on my bed frame and thought “frick that hurts” and fell on my bed.

I woke up…TWO HOURS LATER.

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Okay if you were considered an esl student growing up, boy do I have a story for you. Also I’ve heard some people have a similar story so I wanna know if this is a universal bilingual child thing.

Anyways this was in like fourth grade which is also ironically when I had the highest reading points in the grade (but the person who pulled me out of class to test my English didn’t know that). Basically this woman comes into class to pull all the esl kids and I’m just excited to get out of class. Now imagine my surprise when it’s my turn and the woman gives me a booklet, points at a black and white picture of a banana, and asks me what it is. Of course nine year old me is shocked that this is even a serious question and I just sit there for five seconds and then with the most confused look I answer “…a banana?” because there is no way they think I’m that bad at English. AND THEN THIS FREAKING LADY WHO JUST SAW A TINY ASIAN GIRL CORRECTLY IDENTIFY A BANANA SMILES CONDESCENDINGLY AND SAYS “good job sweetie!” WHAT??? but yeah I think I got a sticker for that which was nice and then was sent back to class. **also let it be known that there were kids in my class reading “union” as “onion” I don’t think I was the one they should’ve been concerned about**

TLDR; I was assumed to be lacking in my ability to identify a banana in English as a nine year old because I was an Asian child whose first language was not English. It was patronizing but I got to skip class and got a sticker.

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Do people actually use tumblr on a regular basis? Because for me I just brain dump and then forget about it for two months until I get a notification about it. Like this one time I was falling asleep but I got woken up by a notification telling me someone liked my self deprecating tumble post about jalapeños. ????

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when I say I’m not straight people would sometimes ask if I’m bi or lesbian and I’d just respond with something along the lines of “if I knew I’d tell you” but I think I have a better answer now:

I find it pointless to contemplate such trivial facts about my identity. If I do end up liking someone and they like me back, a label I give myself isn’t going to affect that. If I like them, I like them and I’d rather let myself decide that in the moment. I don’t want to settle for a term now and feel like I have to live up to it or that it doesn’t fit me.

But at the end of the day that’s just a sophisticated way of saying: I’m confused, but do I care? No, not really.

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no one knows I have a mini loaf of bread in my pocket

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listening to kpop makes me feel like I’m walking through a korean supermarket

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[:

I’m not exactly bi

I just don’t see myself with a guy

“maybe you just haven’t found the one”

if I hear that one more time I’m done

but I don’t think I’m completely gay

my feelings like to swing both ways

and some days I wonder if I’m aro/ace

until someone makes me red in the face

I’m constantly confused

but at least it makes me amused

so in the end I guess I’m just queer

simply a being existing here

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my friend opening the door and telling me: “I think you should come out. You might wanna see this”

me: “come out? I thought I did that already?”

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hrghhhhh

I got my vaccine booster yesterday and thought I took an Advil before bed last night but after asking my mom apparently I didn’t and I’m just crazy (:

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“champagne?”

Yes I am indeed a cham and I am in pagne :)

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when the ibuprofen wears off and your cramps start coming back and you can feel your flow getting heavier

*unsheathes sword and lets out a battle cry as dramatic music plays in the background*

“let the blood bath begin”

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my current mood: patiently waiting for my grades to drop after failing my finals

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Every day my English teacher makes one person read an excerpt from a book of their choice. I was one of the first people to go and I read from red, white and royal blue. I had the guts to bring the book in person instead of reading the quote from my phone (like a normal person) and my teacher FREAKING RECOGNIZES THE BOOK COVER. So then of course I’m screaming on the inside because I was hoping no one would realize what I was reading from. When I finished she said she knew of several students who were reading the book and now I don’t know how to feel.

Tl;dr: took a gay book to school and my English teacher recognized it.

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Y’ALL

I was reading One Last Stop during English today and as I was leaving class, this girl came up to me and asks “oh is that one last stop?” which was really surprising because a. I’ve never had someone who wasn’t a close friend talk to me about an lgbtq+ book and b. I had my book in the crook of my elbow with my coffee on top so it blocked the front cover.

SHE FREAKING RECOGNIZED IT FROM A GLIMPSE OF THE SPINE AND WHATEVER PARTS OF THE COVER WERE UNOBSCURED

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sometimes I stop and think about how younger me would be so proud of where I am right now and what I’m doing. like not to be a pessimist or anything but I never saw myself making it this far in life? that being said my current self is greatly disappointed in myself.