What My Life Has Become

apparently I'm an asshole. send me messages

[catchymemes]

[anime-diary-blog]

[victoriamaderna]

Werewolf pup.

[fascinaria]

[thegoodvybe]

[ironpour]

[spookyfbi]

This is like one of those art house horror movies with symbolism I don’t understand except I understand what this is trying to convey perfectly holy crap

[vosquitransitis]

heyheyhey this is literally

[minuty]

[sirkrabs]

[a-dor-ing-girls]

Dude, you know I’m doing bad when I escape to tumblr.

[mylittlemesseduphead]

Mania things

knowing you would be bothering people if you try and talk to them all day and night but still feeling an uncontrollable urge to communicate your every thought so you end up posting 5000 things on your social media sites and writing a manifesto to hand out later to your fans. 

also getting frustrated at 3am when there is no one to talk to and you have discovered the meaning of life. 

oh and stopping every 2 minutes to sing and dance to the music you wish to be blasting in your room but the neighbors would wake up so you end up with headphones in enjoying your silent disco and dancing like you have been zapped by the might of Zeus.   

[twitblr]

Mary go round at home 🏡

[whihumph]

Forget what she’s wearing, are we just going to ignore the sheer strength she displayed? Sis is holding herself up extended her torso to an obtuse angle and did a situp with a child and didn’t slip a millimeter. 👀👀👀

[glon-morski]

That, and she’s also bouncing said toddler without slipping a milimeter there at the end, don’t forget that 🤯

[nocaptainmatt-deactivated201702]

[boazpriestly]

This “God Creating Things” series by @lonnieiiv on TikTok is HILARIOUS!

[killorbekillian]

God: Now listen to me Gabriel, these are going to be really fun because some go on pizzas.

Gabriel: Yeah, okay, okay.

God: You like that? And then some will make you see things.

Gabriel: ...’Kay?

God: And some, Gabriel, some just... kill you.

Gabriel: [Long pause] You doin’ okay, pal?

[charlesoberonn]

I like how the impression isn’t just God, but specifically the Morgan Freeman God.

[somecraydude]

I’m sorry, is there a different God?

[sizvideos]

[perissologist]

THIS TURNED OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTED

[lord-palmerston]

you missed the best bit

[bitchh]

2hr makeout session ft inappropriate touching sounds so good rn

[somecutething]

[otherpens]

le ancien razzle dazzle

[freexcitizen-deactivated2016110]

There’s no reason for anyone over the age of 21 to be having a conversation with anyone under the age of 18

[double-barrel-dude-deactivated2]

“For the last time son, I wont talk to you.”

[el-presidente-deadpool-deactiva]

“im sorry students, but this is the last time im gonna say this. Stop trying to talk to me”

[le-sad-demiurge]

“I’m afraid I can’t hire you, I cannot speak to you.”

[xxxtictacion]

“I would tell that kid to get off my lawn, but society isn’t ready yet”

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

“my new born baby just said it’s first word but I’m not trying to hear that” 

[sonypraystation]

“hello 911?!? help my parents are in a burnin build-”

“i dunnoo kid….you sound just a little young and….idk…. im not really feelin too comfortable with this” *hangs up*