I write poems when I cry

Poet.

[samimibutter]

TW,

Hello I am new here!

I wanted to share a poem I wrote shortly after my first psych ward admission. I hope you like it.

A SEAT AT THE TRAUMA TABLE.

I hold the metallic cup to my face

And my reflection proceeds to spit on it

I apologise to the gathering for my clumsiness

We begin to eat dinner

I pass around a plate of my organs

It returns, empty

A moment to mourn another lost opportunity to devour myself

I lift my glass to quench my thirst

empty, I wipe the air from my lips

After a few more courses, I inform my guests that the night can end whenever they want

...and it never does.

[samimibutter]

Tears upon a golden sun

amongst the fears of western morn

whereas the music travels east

and challenges all man and beast

within this sky of precious blue

the devil has just noticed you

and sings you words as sweet as day

to turn this thorny rose to prey.

[awfullyqueerwriter]

A winter walk

I wander through the woods,

Silent and still,

The trees bare, the seeds that hold 

The unborn flowers,

Not yet making themselves known.

The world yawns

To clear its lungs

Of the winter frost.

A bird takes flight,

Rattles the empty branches.

Flutters its wings, calls to the earth

With its wild voice,

I’m here. I’m alive. I made it.

It sings to the world

All the things it almost forgot.

My feet crunch through the crusted dirt.

Shoots rising through the earth.

They will bloom, 

in the coming months.

A declaration that they are here too.

Triumphant flags, waving amongst our feet.

It begins to rain,

As it often does this time of year.

The raindrops rolling down my face

Down my hair, my coat

Soaking me.

Reminding me

That we all survived.

[samimibutter]

Heres is my poem Supernova, originally posted as a blury picture and reformatted to be more readable after receiving feedback. I hope you enjoy...

SUPERNOVA

I stumble to the edge of my mother's dream and jump.

Passing through the city she built just for me.

Bricks laid together with resilience and survival,

Streets lined with submission.

A bus service that rolls through 

Good Child Avenue, 

Muslim Daughter Lane,

And Honour Row,

The once eternal sun has set,

It's dark.

Mamas shining lights in my eyes to guide me 

I'm suddenly frozen, 

as the brightness blinds me,

Plumeting beyond the boundaries of flat earth 

I look back,

Or maybe up?

I'm not sure yet.

I'm no longer attached to anything,

Falling

Who turned the gravity off?

...

I build myself a new home out of cosmos,

Stars aligned and making sense,

Mum rearranges the constellations to spell betrayal.

"I left my place in this universe for you, child.

Escaped into a vacuum, 

Created you from the parts of me that exist, 

My literal flesh..."

Mum.

Just because we're meteors destined to collide,

Doesn't mean I don't love you..

The night sky becomes a gathering of aunties 

Draped in scarves of every colour

Known and unknown to humankind

Orbiting the supernova that I came from.

A twinkle that exaggerates distance ,

A suffocating abandonment,

Clapping to the beat of a drum,

"Shame,

Shame,

Shame!"

[samimibutter]

(Art credit: Rafael Ramirez).

Ocean Fire.

I am the water

Ox bow lake

Rivers daughter

Tragic fate

Currents pulling

Toxic waste

Sipping pipes

Of factories

Ocean fire

Mens desire

Burn shit down

Profits, higher!

Life decay

A price to pay

Moldy ruins

Killing me

Critters running

End is coming

Screaming birds

Never humming

Blind the sun

Death to come

Finishing

What fates begun

My sway with poison

Upseting nations

Dirty ponds and

Eutrophication

Suited, killing

Supervillains

Monsters party ,

Laughing, chilling..

Die our Queen

Empress to nations

Welcome blood,

Tears,

devastation.

[samimibutter]

SLOW DOWN!..

Do you want me to grab you?

Is that the reason why you seem to have paused for a brief moment ?

Ensuring we make eye contact

Before darting away

As if we're kids in the playground

As if to say catch me

Do you want me to run after you?

Screaming your name so that you know I'm coming

And that I consider you an acquaintance

...What can I do to fix this?

Dad..

Slow down for a second...

[samimibutter]

A Song of Refuge

Shards of crushed potential

Cut the feet of lost migrants

Dried blood line bumpy paths

As wounded souls march onwards

trailing towards a nightmare

And a promise of tragedy

The onlookers wait

with anger and flames

to protect themselves

from those who've escaped

exactly what they fear.

In the distance an infant cries

in the memory of those

left behind

with the children of passion

and the land of ash.

The song is sung across the camp

in mockery of a journey

that ended where it began

...where are we now?

[samimibutter]

I grab a pen to summarise

The darkness of my pain

The ink sings notes that I despise

About summer and the rain

It's me! I who I hate so much

Why cupcakes make me cry

The reason for the tremors

On the lids of my shut eyes

When then, will I be free

From the mixtape of the dying

A bitter balled to my need

To give my mind a frying

Fuck you bitch

You stupid cow

You failed us once again

No one cares what you say

Put down the bloody pen...

[samimibutter]

I've kind of been feeling really sleepy lately....

Like heart and muscles have had an argument, and there's not much being pumped into them anymore. Like my joints are going through a break up, my legs no longer want to cooperate. Like my gut is hiding something from my mouth and is blaming it on the food. Like my eyes haven't figured out exactly what's going on with the rest of my body and are wondering why I keep bumping into shit because of my mind's preoccupation with what's behind it, or their own general refusal to close. I'm feeling...out of synch.

I feel twisted.

[samimibutter]

Angry know nothings

Know nothing

Know nothing

A mind trapped in darkness

Turns nothing to something

Theres no bliss in ignorance

When the devil is coming

With no light you still hear

It's footsteps

They're running!

Explosions erupting

In the midnight fear chamber

Pick up a gun, shoot at the danger

A wicked cackle of power

With the culrpit still running

Damn, angry know nothings

They know nothing

Know nothing.

[samimibutter]

Fly,

Your wings are broken but

This is not the time for waiting

The dangers on the ground

And it's your life that needs saving

Jump to lift, expand your chest

Take a deep breath in

The second you're off the ground

Is the moment that you win

Fall once,

Fall twice,

Fall again some more

This is not a loss

But a meeting with the floor

Rise and move

Climb and run

Leap across the trees

Heal yourself

Conquer the sky

And let yourself be free

[samimibutter]

The Lost Cause

Have you seen a girl with spiders for feet?

So frightened by her own speed

that,

she butchers herself to find stillness.

Drags her body away from where she's technically stood.

Breaks into a gallop with her hands which were honestly,

Not designed for such things.

Have you seen a weeping girl?

So distressed by the world around her,

Going round in circles with bruised wrists

and damaged morality.

Don't look at her.

She just might seek a friend in you,

declaring you the keeper of what's left of her limbs

before,

rolling away

in no particular direction.

That's her,

the lost cause.

Don't touch her.

Don't help her.

Just leave her.

She'll be gone soon.

[samimibutter]

Projection

Everything you are

To the tenth power

I have mastered

Every bit of you that's charging at me

Every fire laced rock that is flying out of your mouth

All the miles of distances that have settled in your eyes

Each bit of cruelty engrained in your smile

I have become

To the tenth power

A monster

...for you.

[samimibutter]

Once again, I am posting a poem I wrote as a child....I don't know where my mind was but just wanted to share ....

Okay edit to clarify IM NOT IN TO VIOLENCE. I was inspired by my high school history/ literature to write commentary on show trials.

THE WEST END OF THE WOODS.

All the woodland animals

from the rabbit to the crow

gathered round the ancient oak tree

to watch Mrs Fluffers' show

Mrs Fluffer was a squirrel

with a love to entertain

who put on monthly spectacles

which were rarely ever plane

she had her own magician

her own singers and a band

she had her own dance group

and a crew to lend a hand

her stage lights, a reflection

of the moon onto the lake

bouncing up into the branches

to brighten up her face

she was a lovely host

and a daring one of that

as most people only came

to watch her closing act

she'd find a fresh offender

accused of horrid crimes

and invite them to the stage

to perform one last time

she'd chop their tail into pieces

and grind their hands with rocks

and finish with a graceful woosh

to slice their head clean off

all the animals would cheer

as justice had been done

all burying their fear

of becoming the next one.

[samimibutter]

[samimibutter]

As I cry through the heat, I wanted to share a poem I wrote as a child (about my favourite season). Its funny how back then I had more to write about than my own misery.

I hope you enjoy! ❤

Autumn Leaves

Autumn leaves

Your time has come

Winter breeze

Proceed to drum

Survival extincts

Sharpen their claws

As hibernation

Begins to call

Darkest nights

Now eat the day

The common cold

Comes out to play

The sounds of children

Now no more

School bell rings

They run straight home

Landscapes now

All red and warm

As little leaf

Lays on the floor.

[guerrillatech]