Starting a YouTube channel! Hope you enjoy and subscribe :)
Hi. I'm Sandra Gibbons, and I'm here for the stories. That means books, video games, TV shows, and movies. If I'm lucky, I'll meet people wh
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@sandragibbons
Starting a YouTube channel! Hope you enjoy and subscribe :)
Hi. I'm Sandra Gibbons, and I'm here for the stories. That means books, video games, TV shows, and movies. If I'm lucky, I'll meet people wh
The Knight
Darlington - “Ninth House” by @lbardugo.
“ In the mirror, he saw himself, a knight with bowed head, offering his service, a sword in his hand, a sword in his back. He felt no pain, only the ache in his heart. Choose me. There were tears on his cheeks, even as he felt the shame of it. She was no one, a girl who had lucked into a gift, who had done nothing to earn it. She was his queen. ”
( I am fully aware of the fact that a sword CAN’T pierce steel armour - but that was an illusion, hence I’ll be like “anything goes” 😎)
This is Lethe. Anything goes indeed.
And this is stunning.
Reading challenge: 52 books in 1 year
What I learned from reading one book every week for a year, plus quick tips to help you tackle your 2020 TBR list!
https://sandragibbons.xyz/blog/one-book-every-week-for-a-year
Follow your fear to find the root of your anxiety.
Visit our website: https://minimalism.life/
Follow your fear to find the root of your anxiety.
How I Used Time Blocking to Find Time to Write
As a writer, time is my most precious commodity.
And as a writer who works full-time, who also happens to be the mother of a rambunctious two-year-old boy, this is especially true. But once time has run out, it’s gone. There is no going back in time to do things differently. It just keeps ticking forward, whether you want it to or not. When you’re drowning and you feel like there isn’t enough time to do all of the things you want to do, chances are, you’re probably right. Don’t let that beat you into submission.
If you’re like me, you have only the best intentions when you set out to do everything that needs to be done. You might wake up one morning feeling motivated, only to lose steam. You tell yourself your goals were too hard or that your expectations were unrealistic. How did you ever think you could get X, Y, and Z done today? So discouragement settles into your mind, and pretty soon, you’re paralyzed by inaction.
Sound familiar? I’ve been there.
To-do lists aren’t enough anymore. They’re nothing more than surface-level reminders of all the things staring you in the face. What to-do lists are missing is time. They’re missing the clear indication that tells you when you will work on something. Introducing: time blocking.
Time Blocking 101
Time blocking differs from to-do lists in that it allows you to visually break down your day or week, so you can figure out exactly how much unclaimed time you have to get shit done. By pulling up your calendar and filling out all of the big rocks—those activities that stay the same day after day (eating dinner, working, spending time at the gym, etc.)—you start to see where you have the flexibility to squeeze something in.
Take a look at my actual weekly snapshot below.
On my calendar, I have myself getting up every day at 5:30am. For the next fifteen minutes, I make coffee, change my clothes, use the restroom—you get the picture. From 5:45am – 7:15am, I make time to write. Then, from 7:15am – 7:45am, I spend time with my son and get him ready for school. So on and so forth.
In doing this process, I found that color-coding different kinds of activities helped me quickly visualize my day. In my example, blue items represent time with my son, red items signal time spent for my job, and yellow signifies the time I was able to make for writing.
Take a few minutes to sit down and fill out your calendar, starting with the routine activities that occur every day. This doesn’t have to be exact. In fact, at some point, something will pop up that completely throws off your morning. The goal here is to be 100% honest with yourself and to identify those gaps of time you didn’t realize you had. You’ll be surprised at the slots of time you discover.
Your next step will be to prioritize your tasks. Remember, no matter how much you’d like to, you just cannot physically do everything. You’re a human being. Once you recognize and accept that, you’re ready to identify your priorities, and then you can start filling in those gaps on your calendar. You’re essentially ranking your to-do list items and taking the next critical step, which is to set aside a definitive time to do each item.
6 Things to Remember When Time Blocking
Too much time is better than too little. Always overestimate the time you think it will take to complete a task. If you get it done faster, great! The point is to give yourself some flexibility in case things don’t go as planned. Like a complete redo. Because it’ll happen.
Have a security buffer. I like to figure in an additional 15 or 20 minutes when I time block. This covers things like bathroom breaks, interruptions, “getting in the zone,” and other random situations. You might be organized, but others are not. Be ready for anything.
Block time for breaks. As I said, we’re human beings. It’s important to claim time for things like eating lunch, taking a walk, checking social media, etc. You can’t be 100% focused on completing tasks all day, every day. Give yourself some grace if you value your sanity.
Downtime is worthy, too. I tend to be a workaholic, but that doesn’t mean I don’t value my downtime. It just means I get completely engrossed in what I’m doing. Block time for the finer things in life to avoid burnout. Binge watch Netflix. Go on a date. Have fun.
Be transparent with people. It’s awesome that you’re putting all this time and effort into making the most of YOUR time. Know what’s even better? When others get on board, too! If you don’t communicate your schedule to others, don’t expect to actually stay on schedule.
Fine-tune as you go. Time blocking is not a one and done kind of thing. As you get better at blocking out time and sticking to your schedule, you’ll uncover the rhythms that work best for you. Life happens. Old routines might fall off the calendar while new obligations get added on. The good thing is time blocking is fluid. Make it work for you.
There you have it. Time blocking is a fantastic and simple way to visualize your day and improve how you prioritize your life (YOU included!). By identifying your unclaimed time, you can proactively set aside time to do the important tasks that have been weighing you down. For me, that was making time to write. By getting up a little earlier and being disciplined and intentional with how I divvied up my time, I was able to find enough slots of time over a span of 3.5 months to finally get my first novel written. Wowzas!
Another cool thing? Through the process of time blocking, you will form new habits and routines that will help you accomplish whatever it is you need to accomplish—just like I did. It’s a good feeling when you can actually finish things and no longer feel like you’re drowning in the guilt of not finishing them. When you start making the most of the time you have, life becomes a little less overwhelming. And isn’t that what we all want?
Have you tried time blocking? What are some of the things you’ve done to be more intentional about your time and to get things done? Comment and let me know!
Looking for a remote writing job? Land your dream role with these 6 mindsets by Sandra Gibbons
Monday Morning at the Office by Sandra Gibbons
“That supernatural fatigue you’re carrying around with you right now is the dead weight of the past you insist on dragging into the future.”
— Emma Magenta
Paradigm Shift
Old thinking
As I did laundry Sunday afternoon, scooping up the contents of the washing machine and tossing them routinely into the dryer, my mind fast-forwarded to Monday morning at the office—the pangs I always felt as I recognized yet another mid-month was approaching, and here it was, now x months since I had sat down and dedicated some time, some of my precious time, to writing something out. Just writing a little something out, and yet somehow sharing everything with the world. Everything that matters in that moment, anyway.
Where had the past six months gone? Where was the enthusiasm and resolve I had just weeks after my thirtieth birthday? Like the new year's resolutions of the preceding years, my enthusiasm and resolve had withered away along with every intention, every inclination, of getting into shape or slaying the recluse inside me. And damn all of the self-promises and empty vows, that they would rear their heads into my passions and dreams and keep me immobilized.
Fast-forward to six months later, to now, and I'm a liar and an excuse-peddler. I haven't grown one bit. How can I feel like I'm not a total failure and empower myself to give it my best once more?
Paradigm shift
I focus on what I have accomplished, and how I accomplished it.
To share an example, I never really believed that I'd find it in me to cook at least three nights a week, yet here I am, three months in and perfectly capable of whipping up a quick and healthy meal in my very own kitchen. It took some dedication, some support and participation from my boyfriend to help keep us both accountable, yet here we are, over three months in, and we're still cooking meals together and feeling better about ourselves as a result.
You see, in the past several months, I've learned a very important truth when it comes to implementing big changes in life—it's foolish to expect success when I'm only considering myself as a factor in my achievement. Let's read that again and stew about it for a while. I promise it makes sense. It's foolish to expect success when I'm only considering myself as a factor in my achievement.
All things vie for shares of my time, and it's up to me alone to set the expectations and guidelines that determine how my time is spent. In the workplace, I need to ask for help, for understanding, and voice what it is I'm needing so that I can go into work a little happier—a little rejuvenated. In my personal time, I need to communicate to loved ones where my dreams in life reside and how I intend to get there, and I need to ask for space to grow and develop myself. You see, it's all about open communication and setting expectations with everyone around you—wherever they may be. Because everyone around you can be a depressant if you allow them to be. However well-intentioned or however much they care about you, family and friends are capable of stifling your growth and resolve if you don't define the rules or guidelines to which they fit into your life—if they fit into your life. Transform your relationships into stimulants for personal growth, and personal achievement will come.
Navigating the Commercialization of Valentine's Day
I survived another Valentine's Day. Kicked its ass, in fact.
Each year, as February 14 draws close, I become giddy. I'm a hopeless romantic. A sucker for fairytale endings, depraved underdogs who end up winning the girl, and washed out wallflowers who bewitch the Prom King. I am an advocate of love.
I believe in the modern meaning of Valentine's Day—in expressing romance and devotion. I don't believe in the pointless commercialization of it. A month before the day, stores are decked out in red and pink and every retailer's prerogative becomes getting people to buy, buy, buy. Purchase the perfect gift for him, get the perfect gift for her. Come to our store and spend your hard-earned dollars on this giant teddy bear, or these expensive shoes, or that thing and this thing. We're conditioned to believe that we're inadequate if we don't spend money on certain items to express our love and devotion to someone. We're asked things like, "So what did [insert name here] get you for Valentine's?" God help you if you respond by saying something to the effect of, "Oh, he didn't buy me anything." He must not be that into you if he didn't buy you anything. And then there's actual Valentine's Day. Traffic jams and packed movie theaters. Filled to capacity restaurants and bars—absolute mayhem. This year, I avoided going out on Valentine's. And it was awesome. A stress-free day with my love to just spend quality time together.
As I write this, I'm sitting in my room at Copper Mountain—outside of Denver—reflecting on Valentine's this year. Kyle and I didn't go out shopping for each other. I had made a comment about wanting flowers (having flowers brings me joy), and he went out and got me some the Friday before. Sunflowers and tulips, the latter because he's Dutch and enjoys sharing his heritage with me, and the former probably because they were just pretty—they reminded me of Van Gogh's sunflowers, and they became even more special to me. He also got me white orchids that should last a while, something that we both can enjoy as we take care of them together.
And then there's the matter of Colorado. We took a few days away from work to enjoy Copper Mountain with friends, another couple, to just enjoy being together. I busted my tailbone snowboarding yesterday morning, and I cried like a baby—testing his patience a hundred times over—but he just sat there beside me on the slopes, encouraging me to get back on my feet and try again. He saw another side of me, while I saw another side of him, and we're stronger for it.
Experiences above all else. Don't get caught up in the consumerist approach to Valentine's or other holidays. Instead, focus on time—the opportunity to give someone your undivided attention. Experience something new together and push on your comfort zone. Growth comes from discomfort, which only makes you stronger.
—Originally published Feb 19, 2016.
Monday Morning at the Office
Monday morning. I jolt to my blaring alarm, fumbling snooze several times, and then I lift myself out of bed to conquer the day. An act of false courage. I shuffle over to my closet and stare in. I stare in, wearily scanning my wardrobe, completely aware that I'm over it all. I'm over it all, and I'm screaming on the inside at what a coward I am.
After throwing myself together, I hug and kiss goodbye those who matter most to me. I wish I could spend a little more time lying intimately in his arms—feeling the sun warm our skin, illuminating the room around us. My dog looks up at me in a panic. She hopes I'll be back soon. She sure does miss me when I'm gone. In fact it feels like a lifetime when I'm not there. Each and every time. And when I kneel down and put her whiskered face in my hands, I stare into her eyes and notice all of the white hairs that seem to have suddenly sprung up around them. I wonder when she started getting so old, and then I die a little more inside.
The tollway south is the typical shit show. Another trio of luxury cars involved in an accident. Most of them were in too great a hurry to go park their cars outside their employers for the day. I remember that it costs me about $7 in toll fees to drive my Fit to and from work each day—twenty miles one way—then after an hour, I'm somehow sitting in the parking lot with no recollection of most of the details of my commute. Checked out. Preoccupied. Dissatisfied. And dejected. But here I am, trudging through The Dream. I made it another week.
The next ten hours are a blur. I ask a little about weekends and speak to mine even less. I down five cups of coffee and steal glances at the sunshine peeking through the blinds. I'm behind on too much work. The days and weeks and months are filled with deceptive high-importance, high-urgency matters. So I get settled in at my desk, and stare like a bug at the giant Apple screen which seems to always reflect some familiar, sullen visage.
Pretty soon it's dark, and he's texting and asking if I've forgotten about him, I escape to my car and go north, thinking about where we should go for dinner. Dinner is quick and I'm back in bed with my laptop, reluctantly stowing it away after a time. I pass out at some point, again waking to the shrill of my alarm. And it's Tuesday, rinse and repeat.
—Originally published Mar 7, 2016.