a laid-back person with a ton of anxiety

[bassets]

[thewonderyearstrong-deactivated]

yea dude I drink a lot. Drink at parties all the time. yea you heard right, 9 capri suns. 9. in 45 minuets.

[kuromilesbian-deactivated202205]

it’s 9pm …. you know what that means

[fixedyourmeme]

[tapehissorchid]

when the whole squad’s flourishing

[bodbog]

[valtsv]

instead of saying “i want to kill myself” whenever something bad happens to me as a result of circumstances beyond my control i’ve started saying “i’m going to kill god” and it’s honestly done wonders for my self-esteem

[valtsv]

you know what? 2019 mood

[mightymargaretofanjou]

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

[frankie-steins-leg]

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

[dilfosaur]

read the full comic!

i have watched approximately 54535624664534 of these so here is my Ode to Hallmark Christmas Movies

[merry-go-round-jailhouse]

[thedevilwearsariadoney]

You fools….. you absolute Buffoons……….. there is only one place we can turn to in these dark times…….. we must return to the land of our beginnings…. our youth…….

[alwaysabeautifullife]

So I’ve been ruining my kids lives by saying “weird flex but ok” to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell me they’re running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it

[alwaysabeautifullife]

[alwaysabeautifullife]

Ok so I need some help coming up with the absolute worst “to flex on” live memes ever to pretend I’m an even more really lame parent. they don’t have to make sense but they need to be absolutely awful yet believable enough that it isn’t obvious I’m intentionally trying to be more lame

Here’s the ones I came up with so far

“You ever just eat a well balanced diet and exercise daily to flex on heart disease?”

“You ever just boil chilies to flex on your eyes?”

“You ever just be cool to flex on your kids?”

“You ever just use sanitizer to flex on 99.9% of all bacteria and viruses?”

“You ever just turn all the lights and up the heater to flex on Dad?”

Catholic edition:

“You ever just like receive the sacraments frequently to flex on Satan?”

“You ever just like love your Mom to flex on Protestants?”

[alwaysabeautifullife]

So I executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn’t say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he’s walking down the street

[alwaysabeautifullife]

Ok so I walked down the block and I found him

[alwaysabeautifullife]

Update

[squirtle-daddy-deactivated20250]

Your son is named Egg.

[hamburgeroisie]

Every part of this is hilarious

[valtsv]

pacific rim really went OFF with drift compatibility. like, there was absolutely no reason the jaegers couldn’t be piloted by a single person; a bunch of teenagers managed it just fine solo in evangelion, but guillermo del toro was like “nah, we’re gonna reinvent the concept of soulmates with mecha and kaiju” and then went and did just that, the absolute madman,

[thepartyponies]

When you’re out with your dad and he just keeps talking to some random guy

[torukou]

[silentlycrazy]

@sansathevampireslayer someone posted pics of you

[sansathevampireslayer]

holy fucking shit

[pinkprettycure]

written nsfw is still allowed because its a proven fact that no one on this site can read

[sansathevampireslayer]

hey friends i’m not on this hell website much anymore but hmu on twitter @aswarmofbeas if u wanna listen to my nonsense

[sansathevampireslayer]

i think it just moping cause i miss my partner. i spent all this energy trying to decipher how i’m feeling right now but it’s so simple it feels like a relief.