c. @sapphicxc - Tumblr Blog

we DO grow old and happy. btw.

And you find love and it stays with you.

Older women are so, so beautiful, and older trans women are no exception. Celebrate the beauty of our elders! Celebrate trans beauty!

ivynightshade

fatima aamer bilal, from moony moonless sky’s ‘shame sighs in my chest like a spare set of lungs, i. the humiliation of being intolerable devours me.’

[text id: i never got to be a child. / i had a childhood, but i was never a kid; a worrying spine bending in a little body. / i was such a plotter with my schemes, trying to get everyone to like me. / to appear interesting, i always had a deck of cards on me. a hidden plea; play with me please? / i was so busy making up for my inadequate looks by trying to adapt new skills. / JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF NONE. JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF NONE. JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF NONE. JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF NONE. JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF NONE. JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF NONE. JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF NONE. / so caught up in, shaving skin and swallowing flaws. / i avoid looking into a mirror to an extent where my reflection takes me by surprise sometimes. / i thought it would be easier if i just forget. / i have borrowed this skin from my mother, and not once has she asked for it back. / around her, there's always an apology lodged up my throat: mother, i haven't made you very proud, have i? / being out in the open feels like canines tearing through my back. / i can't look into anyone's eyes, i fear i'll find the resentment that's surely there. / the biting ache of recognizing, 'unwanted' as my second name, birthed a hungry mouth, waiting for a hand. / so i wear different skins to be out in public and shed it like a snake between the walls of my room. / shame sighs in my chest like a spare set of lungs. the humiliation of being intolerable devours me. / a better punching bag than a person, and i try to make sure that i get the best punch out of everyone else. / it hurts less that way. / "every vacant seat is taken until you pass by. so was the space on the merry-go-round in the playground. must you be always this unbearable?" / and i wonder if my shadow wasn't tied to my feet, would it leave me? / burning for so long. / my fate is not a star, neither are ashes. just a fire that keeps flaring and blazes everything in its wake. / had barbed wires for nerves; never was easy to touch. / standing jagged under the withering sun, it's laughable how the only body that has grazed my own has the capacity to burn a million worlds. / but i must confess; i might just be the smoke. suffocating everything. / and i might just be a delightful creature. dressing up as an open wound in see-through gauze and expecting vultures to not pounce. / terrifyingly, i would be disappointed if they didn't and host a dinner for them. / hosting dinner for the vultures: an offering is an offering. be it made on an altar, a slaughterhouse, or to a kid in the playground. / what is the need of being wanted if not begging to be ripped open, in hopes of being found desirable? / the utensil to my misery: my hands. /and even if i were to cut them off, i would still be left with all the blood that is coursing through my veins.]

lucidloving

Ruth Madievsky, All-Night Pharmacy // Suzanne Scanlon, Promising Young Women // Robin Roe, A List of Cages // Hayao Miyazaki, Kiki's Delivery Service // Susan Sontag, As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980 // D. H. Lawrence, The Plumbed Serpent // Jennifer S. Cheng, "So We Must Meet Apart" // Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart // Alice Oseman, Radio Silence // Franz Kafka, Letters to Felice

gingernutsenthusiast

right person, wrong time (variations on heartbreak)

bishopsprodigal

thinking about this

fromdarzaitoleeza

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Gentle Spirit

bongwateriero

bathroom graffiti

escuerzoresucitado

huffylemon

damn ok lake superior

songsofwaterandnight

Ok yeah that lake is superior

caats

Books and cats are the best furnishings for a room ♡

tomba2

everyone keeps tagging this as food but it’s actually. motor oil

09wooglenotabutt09

luxlightly

"Ugh! Stupid sci fi movies that are like 'what if you had to pay to be alive?'. Um that's just being disabled! Selling literal minutes of your life as currency? That's just living under capitalism, idiot!"

My love. My dear. My precious baby bird. I am kissing you so gently on the forehead. Please listen to my words.

That is the point.

For the love of god, everyone, please learn the meaning of allegory, I'm dying here.

gingerofsuburbia

Dystopia does not predict the future, it criticizes the present

pagesinmylife

I cannot stress enough to Tumblr staff that they do not need to change the site. Do not try to be like Twitter. Do not try to be like Reddit. Do not alter how this site works.

Tumblr will be the most popular social media site if they continue letting all these other sites implode

foulserpent

this was an unpopular take in recent history but i truly believe it is possible to care about your friends and acquaintances and be a good friend while simultaneously hoping their lame ass boyfriend (theres always one) dies in a boating accident or falls into a well or smth

waltzingbi

*me, literally sick with want* whatever

killowave

supremeshogunrj

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

ziggyplayedd

things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever

change the color used to highlight text on your laptop

move the pictures on your wall

stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all

slightly vary your commute, even just by one street

change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed

drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real

shower with the lights off, without music

buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room

start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing

wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night

listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015

sandersstudies

Almost all of these are about variety. Humans need stimulation! We need enrichment! We literally cannot do the same thing every day!

The other day I was feeling miserable, so I hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back to where I’d started, and my brain, which had finally had some proper stimulation via new environments, was suddenly ready to go again!

This is why taking walks/drives and trying new hobbies are good for you! Don’t turn yourself into a sad zoo animal! You need some pumpkins to roll around in your enclosure!

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