tabitha bainbridge | 16 | slytherin | pureblood
In the weeks leading up to her impulsive, jealousy-induced theft, Tabitha Bainbridge finds herself wishing Jo had never been named captain of the Slytherin Quidditch Team.
She doesnât care about the bad-mouthing among their housemates, or even that Grahamâs been a total twat to her lately. The problem with this whole captain situation is that Tabitha canât remember the last time she and Jo just hung out. Itâs always âthe teamâ this and âthe teamâ that! Even when theyâre alone itâs blah blah âthe plays Iâve been working onâ and blah blah âGrahamâs turning them against meâ and Tabithaâs had enough! In the heat of the moment, hurt and upset, she thinks fuck quidditch andfuck you, Josephine for being a self-absorbed bint, which means she says it aloud and storms out. Of course, only after she sneakily stuffs the offending playbook into her bag.
They make up a few days later, and Jo comments that canât figure out where she put the damn thing. Tabitha knows exactly where the book is; pre-reconciliation, she gave it to rival captain Cho Chang (whom she doesnât even like) because if Jo sucked as a captain they might replace her and *poof!* sheâd have her best friend back. But obviously she canât say that without losing said friend forever, and lies through her teeth.
âI dunno, did you look under your bed?â Tabitha asks, looking concerned. âOr maybe a house-elf found it and moved it while cleaning, the little shit.â
RESOURCEFUL:Â A strong-willed and âI march to the beat of my own drum, motherfuckers!â sort-of person, when Tabitha puts her mind to something, she does it without a manual. If anybody were going to survive a zombie apocalypse, itâs her, because sheâs excellent at winging it. Sometimes it comes back to bite her in the ass, but sheâs got an uncanny ability at figuring out how to use situations to her advantage. Sheâs definitely an opportunist who is willing to go where no one else has gone and do what no one else will do if she thinks itâll suit the situation. Â Â
EXTROVERTED: Tabitha can talk to just about anybody. Those normal filters and anxieties that other people have about starting conversations and meeting new people? Nope, she hasnât got any of them. Whether or not she can genuinely read the social cues people send off saying âplease leave me aloneâ is uncertain, however, because itâs debatable whether or not she cares.. If Tabitha has something to say, sheâll say it, and unfortunately, sheâs also got a habit of talking before she thinks.But at least sheâs not shy! And hey, her friends say she can be pretty funny, so whoâs complaining?
INTELLECTUAL: While itâs not exactly what sheâs known for, Tabitha is well smart. She has no problems in school (at least, other than with her professors and classmates) and is actually quite nerdy. Sheâs intellectual but not an intellectual, though; nerdy but not a nerd. Tabitha just likes to learn over certain things and thinks magic (and maths) are really fucking cool, okay? Sheâs just, you know, easily excited by that kind of stuff and when sheâs focused (read: obsessed), her energy could break down a wall.
HABITUAL LIAR: If thereâs one thing this girl knows how to use, itâs her words. A master bullshitter, Tabitha Bainbridge can lie her way through anything. Even though there are certainly parts of her personality that are brash and come out no matter who sheâs with, sheâs adept at making anything coming out of her mouth sound like the truth and itâs a skill which has helped her navigate her family and housemates over the years. But sheâs also a habitual liar â not because sheâs got to practice, but because it comes so naturally the lies just pop out of her mouth like the truth, for no reason other than shits and giggles.
ANGER ISSUES: Her default emotion is best described as âpissed off.â Itâs not that Tabitha has an issue with physically aggressiveness, or that sheâs angry all the time. Itâs just that sheâs not so great with regulating her emotions, especially those surrounding compliance and jealousy. Sheâs easily upset and turns it into anger, which has a tendency to get the better of her. You know that phrase about seeing red? Itâs completely legit and when it happens, she gets a bit irrational, losing control over the things she says and does. She also keeps a grudge like nobodyâs business.  Â
ATTENTION SEEKING: Okay, this doesnât have to be a bad thing but the problem is that Tabitha takes it to a bit of an extreme. Within her family, sheâs tended to get the short end of the stick and has to vie for attention, which doesnât seem to work well. Itâs probably because her older brothers are smarter and more likeable than her while her younger brothers are much cuter and adorable than she is. That rule basically follows everywhere else in her life and so she has to go the extra mile. Her sense of humour  is one way she does it, but itâs also the root of why she gets jealous and vengeful when she feels her friends are paying more attention to someone else. Not to mention it makes her fairly self-conscious, which in turn creates some self-loathing because the last thing she wants to come off as is self-conscious, but she needs other peoplesâ attention to feel validatedâŚand itâs a vicious cycle.Â
 Born and raised in Birmingham, Tabitha is British, and the same goes for her parents. Sheâs also ethnically Punjabi, though her dadâs granddad was White British, hence why their name is Bainbridge instead of something like Singh or Bhamra.
Tabitha has a love-hate (mostly hate) relationship with her family. She is a middle child who used to be the baby, for quite some time, and is now squashed between four brothers. The two older ones are close to her in age, 20 and 18 respectively, while she is seven years older than the obnoxious pair of twin boys which caught the whole family by surprise. Her parents (and extended family) are only nominally interested in their blood status and more or less, sheâs only that way because it just happened, not necessarily on purpose. It  wouldnât be anything to care about, except Tabithaâs adopted a bigotry-as-it-suits-her attitude from being in Slytherin houseâŚwhich is complicated, because her cousin, Trevor, is a bloody muggle born (and thereâs plenty of muggle things she actually likes). First, what kind of name is Trevor? Itâs like âKevin.â Who goes and looks at their little alien baby and says âooh how beautiful! I think Iâll name it KEVIN. Or better yet, TREVOR!â And second, what would posses her maternal aunt to make friends with muggleborns and then adopt their baby after they died? Theyâve got no clue how embarrassing  it is for for her, which is why she does her best to annoy the living hell out her cousinâŚitâs a pity, though, because as kids they used to get on quite well. Â
Tabitha doesnât know how to cast the Patronus Charm, and itâs debatable as to whether sheâd be able to conjure the right kind of happy memory to make one happen (oh, does giving her baby brothers half-mohawks while sleeping not count? Balls!), but if she could, it would take the form of a tarantula.
A werewolf. They absolutely terrify her. She routinely has nightmares about one chasing her through the woods and eating her face off. Not cool, bro.
Red Oak, dragon heartstring, 10 inches, springy.
You will often hear the ignorant say that red oak is an infallible sign of its ownerâs hot temper. In fact, the true match for a red oak wand is possessed of unusually fast reactions, making it a perfect duelling wand. Less common than English oak, I have found that its ideal master is light of touch, quick-witted and adaptable, often the creator of distinctive, trademark spells, and a good man or woman to have beside one in a fight. Red oak wands are, in my opinion, among the most handsome.
Tabitha is not drinking any of the traditional, romanticised views about sexuality, especially the whole âsaving itâ for âsomeone special and/or my future husband,â kool-aid her motherâs been trying to feed her. That virginity business? She wants to get rid of it. Being in love, in her opinion, is overrated â doing it with something who she at least marginally likes is plenty good enough. So far that hasnât happened, but damnit, she will lose it before she graduates Hogwarts if itâs the last thing she ever does!
Unfortunately for Tabitha, sheâs not the kind of girl most boys are into. The neighbourhood boy whom she âmarriedâ at age nine, who also happened to be her first kiss (though not much of a kiss, really) was the closest sheâs gotten to an actual relationship. Sheâs a foul-mouthed, opinionated, sarcastic nerd-tomboy person and go figure, they arenât really into that. Bugger. Her attitude towards the whole business is rather casual, but even though sheâd never admit it to anyone, sheâs a bit bothered by the fact that sheâs never actually dated anyone. But then she tells the needy, pathetic part of her to quiet down and get real. And that itâs probably for the best considering the record of boys sheâs fanciedâŚwhich doesnât even begin to include the list of ones sheâd just like to get freaky with (anyone with a penis who is not wolf ugly, really).
THEODORE NOTTÂ shares his porn stash with her and answers her incessant questions about all things sex-related, and Tabithaâs always thought he had that âIâm a weird stonerâ look to him, which can be attractive enough if she squints. Itâs not so much that she fancies him, but kind of thinks Theo wouldnât be a bad Mr. Miyagi of her hypothetical sex-life. Who better than the bloke who is completely unphased by anything you bring at him and whom you already know is a perv to start off with?
Last year, she fancied MICHAEL CORNER, though sheâs got no bloody clue why. Or at least she says so, but probablyâs got something to do with the fact that she imagined them having long conversations about the Fibonacci sequence, followed by hot nerd sex. and maybe even eventually having little genius babies. Clearly that didnât happen, and ever since he dated Ginny Weasley (Tabithaâs arch-nemesis), sheâs taken every opportunity to bad-mouth Michael. Of all the people, he had to choose Tabithaâs arch-nemesis â which has got nothing to do with her actually being a blood traitor (itâs mostly just another excuse not to like her) but because sheâs an annoying, athletic, gingerâŚwho stole Michael, to boot.
This year, thereâs COLIN CREEVEY, but she honestly has no idea how that started. Itâs embarrassing and thereâs a reason they meet under the quidditch stands: nobody needs to know his tongue has ever been in her mouth. Creeveyâs a mudblood for fuckâs sake; Tabitha can only imagine what everyone in her house would say about her if they knew. So yeah, heâs also out of the running for devirginising her for this very reason. In public, she acts like she doesnât even know he exists, though that doesnât work well and it usually ends up her making fun of him and being her ever-pleasant and kind-hearted self. Clearly Colin doesnât mind; at least, not enough to stop feeling her up every Thursday.
Tabitha supposes that if worst comes to worst, she has until the end of the year to take CORMAC MCLAGGEN up on his ridiculous âmissed connectionâ bullshit. A friend of Joâs or not, the kidâs an absolute horndog with cheekbones that give her nightmares because theyâre that unnaturally defined (if only his stupid dome were invisible and he just existed from the neck down!) but clearly not too picky, which is all she asks if it becomes necessary.
Occasionally she considers forays into lesbianism but Tabitha hasnât gotten that desperateâŚyet. HANNAH ABBOT is a carpet muncher, right? So thereâs always that.
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