saraniwrap @saraniwrap - Tumblr Blog

anxiety manifests as vomit

and my throat burns with the taste of us

and i cannot eat the same

but i am hungry for your attention

it is worth it to be with you

#bpd feels #spilled ink #bpd favorite person #bpd fp #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #bpd vent #bpd #sad poetry #poem #sad poem #bad poem #bad poetry #vent #sad #anxiety

borderlinemocha

I’m such a fucking fraud. I sit here and tell everyone around me that it’s okay to miss them (I feel ashamed) to be angry at them (I feel guilty) that it’s okay to feel that hurt (I feel embarrassed) to cry, to scream (I feel sick) you just gotta feel the pain to get through it and it’ll get better, and here I lay months later, shaking to my fucking core, in such gruesome emotional pain, that I can’t breathe. Trigger Warning: It doesn’t get better.

I fucking miss you and it’s literally destroying me.

bpd-culture-is

BPD culture is not feeling worthy of talking to your FP because they’re perfect but also screaming sobbing dying at not being with them

.

iambleed1ng

Loving me must be so fucking hard and I'm so fucking sorry

iambleed1ng

Eventually you are gonna leave me too because I'm unloveable

whororhoe

maybe my brain just isn’t cut out to be in a relationship. maybe it wants to be alone, and that’s why i always feel like i am.

nemosopenletters-blog

Sometimes I'm tired of being a toxic person, with toxic thoughts and ideas that intrude at the worst of times...

emotionsturnedoff

Why does my “self compassion” only come after I’ve exhausted all my energy screaming and crying about how much my heart hurts that I want to die

im-nothing-and-n0body

The poor little cat I want to help him with his little tasks (I heavily relate to the cat and am learning to be soft with myself)

i am tired

i wish to undo my years of progress just to rest

because you are my home

but the lights are off and the driveway is empty

i press the doorbell and you answer

but it is a recording

and i cannot crawl into bed with you tonight

#bpd vent #bpd feels #bpd favorite person #bpd #borderline vent #borderline personality disorder #favorite person #vent #feels #sad #tired #bad poem #sad poem #bad poetry #vent poetry

and suddenly i am in the shower with no door,

the bathroom with soaked hand towels on the tile,

cups with shampoo and conditioner on the floor,

and i am wishing for the water to boil me,

i am not seeking relaxation in the heat, i am pleading for answers to the questions that do not have them

i have outlived my desire for betterment

and it has been four years,

but the heat is still calling me

#sh #mentally unstable #mental hospital #borderline personality disorder #bpd #memory #trauma #i cannot forget #please let me go #cptsd #poem #sad poetry #bad poetry #bad poem #vent

cordrawroy

grief seed

perfeqt

“When I think about you in huge doses, I drown in despair, in longing, in guilt. I learned to think of you in tiny rations like meals delivered to my plate, three times a day. Each time enough to nourish me, to make me hope, to keep my heart alive.”

— Dawn Lanuza