This picture always makes me a little sad. I still remember the young girl who would run around aimlessly for hours without a care in the world, wear whatever her mum put her in and not think twice about what it looked like or what other people thought of it and more importantly, me.
Unfortunately it seems that those innocent years inevitably are left behind when we step into those teenage years, full of angst, rebellion and emotion.
I was always the shy, quiet girl in school who wouldn’t talk in class if I didn’t have to, and spoke mainly when spoken to, and throughout all my years at school I remained the same, albeit slightly more outspoken in my sixth form years, I was still always not wanting to be the centre of attention. The longer adult life has gripped me, and having more responsibilities of a house, children etc I seem to have stumbled into a more socially awkward version of myself.
However at some point there comes a time where she needs to come back. And that’s the hard bit.
Sometimes it takes a few years, and maybe in my case a few more to realise that if you want to get her back, you’ve gotta do it yourself, for yourself, because she will always be there, you’ve just got to, as the picture says, go get her.
Far too often I find myself worrying about what other people think of what I’m doing, what I’m saying, what I look like, however this just ends up being the thief of any kind of joy that all those things in your life bring. Why should I worry about what I’m doing, if it makes me happy? Why should I worry about what I’m saying? If it’s how I feel and what I believe (with the obvious exception of just being down right rude) & why should I care what I look like, if I’m happy with what I see in the mirror?
With all this being said I know full well what it’s like to not feel these things. I started my weight loss journey and going to the gym because I wasn’t happy with how I looked or felt and it was making me down right miserable. So 2017 I took the plunge and started my journey. Skip forward to 2018 and physically I am where I want to be right now but with a lot left in me to achieve, however mentally I feel like I could do more.
I’m a very negative person unfortunately, mainly when it comes to myself at least, and while it is always good to want more from yourself, as I keep being told recently, I need to be proud of how far i have already come in order to really move forward. I’m a worrier for sure, and find it hard to let go of things if they worry me, but there comes a time when you realise that this will only hold you back, and worrying about things whether they have happened or not, won’t change them. They’ll just simply fester in your mind and keep you rooted exactly where you are, no one wants to be in the same place forever.
I also have 2 small people who I want nothing but to grow up happy and knowing that they can damn well achieve anything they want to. I’ll have there back 100%, always, in anything they want to do, anyone they want to be and I’ll always be there, cheering them on as there no 1 fan. So why can’t I do that for myself too, they need to lead by example, and that starts with me.
With all this being said, from today I have made it my mission, to be a more positive, happy person and to try and just not give a damn what anyone else thinks anymore. I’ve been on this earth 27 years (god I feel old) and yet I feel like I have wasted too many of those years being negative and unhappy for some reason or another. Enough is enough.
Wear that top because I like it, not think about whether people will think my outfit looks cool and if not then just wear something else.
Talk to people with confidence, and get my point and view across instead of just nodding and agreeing with what they say.
Dance around like a idiot & sing at the top of my voice and not give a damn, (my sisters got this down to an art, perhaps I should take some pointers from her 😂)
Admire what someone else looks like, without thinking why can’t I look like that?
Stop worrying about how things used to be
Surround myself with good, positive people
Grow stronger 💪🏼 & achieve my goal of a pull up and to run a 10K.
It’s not always gonna be easy, but it’s got to be a darn sight better than not even really living at all. It’s a cliche but we only get this one time, one chance at life and unfortunately some people don’t even get long enough to achieve all the things they should, so if you have it, don’t waste it being unhappy.
To end & because I love a good motivational quote, here’s a few faves…
Time for a change This picture always makes me a little sad. I still remember the young girl who would run around aimlessly for hours without a care in the world, wear whatever her mum put her in and not think twice about what it looked like or what other people thought of it and more importantly, me.