take a step outside of the box

-25/F/STL- after all, nothing lasts forever when you travel time

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

Untitled...as of now.

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

“Surge” - May 2020

My veins have become circuitry,

conducting a current of chaotic electricity.

Time ticks by as the world turns in slow motion around me;

each second slowly slips through space

as my head hurdles into hyperdrive,

lightning bolts lingering from the storm

that’s hijacked my identity,

pulsating through my body - its body, really - I’ve been curiously confined.

Tracks switch and collide as clouds converge and cover my mind,

wired on the inside to go go go

until I crash through the ceiling,

shattering anything that previously had meaning -

the world isn’t the same, and this isn’t me;

this is a whole new personality

that paces my spaces instead of slowing down,

wandering aimlessly around the concrete sidewalks of my city;

sick of sitting inside indefinitely and endlessly,

embracing every form of momentum energetically,

enabling a crazed collision within myself.

Emotional entanglement envelopes me in ephemeral waves,

my head and my heart hunting for what to do as

uncertainty fuels a fire I haven’t felt yet in this timeline,

flickering like fireflies in the July dusk as the sky shifts to darkness.

And there’s no sleep tonight, only the encompassing embrace

of explosions of all kinds in my mind.

There’s no sleep tonight, no matter how hard I try.

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

"2020" - 2020

January sixth, two thousand twenty:

new career,

tuck in the shirt –

ambition and bright beginnings.

Then later that night,

you took me to dinner,

and then you took off my pants –

damn, I felt like a winner!

What a delightful winter

as flurries descended

and the ice on the trees

glistened like glitter

under the South City lights –

it felt incredible just to be alive,

looking up and living in the times.

Years of swirling motion and uncertainties brought me here,

to this place that felt like a dream –

good friends, good connections;

this is the version of me

I’ve been striving to be

since I first rolled into Missouri

on May tenth, twenty seventeen,

escaping a nightmare that ripped me at the seams

And I thought,

look at me. I did it:

twenty four years old,

out in the world,

my eyes filled with wonder

as I began to learn to walk

rather than stumble –

I walked across a bridge in a glass box

and listened to beats in my ears,

counting my steps forward

after so many restless years

that were riddled with fears.

Overnight: the sound of shattering shards rained down.

COVID hit – life went to shit.

Goodbye to those friends

and goodbye to human connection,

goodbye to your life:

there’s a killer lurking

that slips by undetected.

Spirals of sorrow

and disruption of routine –

life becomes nothing

but buttons and screens.

I need to move my computer mouse,

I need out of the house:

blood boiling,

emotion piling up and spilling over

I throw a towel on the mess,

but it’s not enough.

And then you just up and left

without even giving warning,

and though summer is approaching

I feel cold to my bones

sitting in my apartment all alone

So I ran into the streets

with a red cross on my sleeve

because even though I’m barely afloat

there are others in need,

there are people being killed

and people being wounded

and I can’t take it anymore –

this year has worn down

every last nerve in my body

and I’m numb and I’m raging

and I’m stick of living in a cage

blocked out from the days

and

BANG!

“If you’ve been hit, head over this way,”

there are people on their knees:

their skin is burning, and they can’t see.

“Help me,” she pleas, staring into my soul

in painful desperation

as she rips off her clothes

so they stop searing her skin

And this one is bleeding,

and my goggles fog up,

and by the end of the night

my bones are shaking in my skin.

And since that experience,

I wake up in the morning

shrieking to get to safety,

and on the fourth of July this year,

I hid behind my couch

and kept telling my cat to take cover.

September slowly slipped closer

and I remembered how to do the basics,

like eat sleep and stand on my feet.

And I’m starting to feel better

with the cooling of the weather,

but I still don’t know

how to let go

of that wonderful winter

when existence was fun,

and I was anything but splintered.

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

My favorite place to be in the city. ♥️

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

My best friend. ♥️

[a-bright-ray-of-sunshine]

Hey you! Yes, you, the one scrolling right now! Can you please stop for a second?

I just wanted to give you this flower because you are incredible 🌻 :) have fun scrolling!

[it-begins-with-rain]

St. Louis Style Gooey Butter Coffee Cake

Ingredients:

1 box pound cake mix (use dry mix only, ignore directions on package)

4 eggs (keep separate)

1 stick (8 tbsp) butter, melted

1- 8oz cream cheese

1 ½ tablespoons vanilla

1lb powdered sugar (set aside 3tbsp for dusting)

1. Grease 9 x 13″ pan

2. Mix pound cake mixture, 2 eggs, and 1 stick of butter (melted).

3. Spread cake mix in pan (it will be a little difficult).

4. Mix cream cheese, vanilla, and other 2 eggs.

5. When mixed, add 1lb powdered sugar.

6. Pour over raw batter, gently spreading to edge.

7. Make at 350F for 20 min.

8. Pull out of oven and dust with powdered sugar.

9. Return to oven for 25 minutes until golden on top.

10. Let cool minimum 20 minutes before serving.

**This cake has a signature “Gooey” texture thanks to what is essentially a baked cream cheese frosting layer. If the color is a golden brown, it is done.

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

if you’ve never had this, treat yourself. It's delicious.

[haleyincarnate]

Quote by Rumi

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

My beautiful neighborhood park, sometime at the end of last summer. <3

[thejeffrose-deactivated20221219]

Foggy morning along sinking creek, Echo Bluff State Park, Missouri

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

Love this place <3 I moved to Missouri to shake up my routine, and stayed for the beautiful nature.

[connorbell]

[gl0wc0r3]

[xponentialdesign]

ᶜᵐᵞᵏ circulum

[dead-darling]

[juzt-peachy]

The Problem with the Cops

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

defund the fucking police

[dankmemeuniversity]

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

SO MUCH WORSE SINCE WORKING FROM HOME. MY KITCHEN CHAIR IS BRUTAL ON MY BACK HAHAHA.

[bitchvirgo]

[sarcasticmidwesterner]

As a woman, this is accurate. If I tell you I have a spot I’m probably taking you to a park, or a hiking trail.