Othering My Typecast

Facing my stereotypes head on.

[sashasioux]

Nerd//Geek//Whatever

A lot of my life I have been called a nerd//geek for the simple reason that I love to read and that I do it very quickly. And in this day and age it is lame to read and gain insight and knowledge on things other than by watching television or going on the internet.

I dressed in stereotypical nerd attire, by wearing my glasses, a button up and high-waisted pants. And I carried around a book. I wasn’t at college for the majority of the day so I went out in the morning, book in hand and went to a coffee shop by myself, and read. I fully embraced being alone and getting immersed in my book and to be honest, I didn’t even notice the people around me. And nor did I care about the reactions they were having. I read ‘The Girl on the Train’ by Paula Hawkins and I can honestly say it was one of the best books I have read in a while.

[sashasioux]

Spoilt Brat

Now, I havent been called a spoilt brat since I was a lot younger, but I decided to channel my inner Gossip Girl character and dress and they would. I also decided to act decidedly bitchy today, and have a no care attitude about anything - which was rather fun and to be honest sort of fits in to how I am on a day-to-day basis. 

I got a lot of compliments on my clothes as well. I wore a smartish dress, with stockings that have bows on the back and a trendy raincoat that made me feel like Serena from Gossip Girl. The compliments made me feel a bit uncomfortable because a lot of them came from people that I don’t usually interact with that much (or at all to be honest). 

At college I try and stick to my comfort zone of who I know and who I am friends with already so for people to come up to me and tell me I looked nice was quite intimidating , and I didn’t really know how to respond.

[sashasioux]

The Slob

Now I wouldn’t ever say my dress sense is ‘slobby’ and I have never been called a slob in terms of how I dress. BUT my secret is, is that I am an extremely messy person, with hoarding tendencies. So today I decided to dress how I am inside. 

I wore an extremely oversized hoodie with baggy jeans. When I dress I have a code I like to stick to, if I’m going to where tight pants I should wear a loose fitting top and vice-versa. So to be wearing to extremely bagging items which do not show my body at all and making me look larger than I am made me feel extremely uncomfortable. 

It was interesting to show my ‘inside person’ on the outside and I did get some strange looks from people who know me and how I usually dress, as well as having to go to the shops made me feel very vulnerable as I hate dressing this way in public. 

[sashasioux]

Tom Boyyy

Today was a chill day, so I thought it would be a lakka day to don my boyfriends clothes, and go back to my childhood self. When I was very little I was dressed and like a doll, my shoes had to match my hat and every part of outfit made me look like something out of a Naartjie catalogue.

So when I got to the age when I was able to choose my own clothes I went straight to the boys section at surf shops. I’m quite embarrassed of pictures of me ages 9-12. I look like a boy, a big fat boy. I wore T-shirts that went down to above my knees, and boardshorts about 10 sizes to big for me. I was always with the boys, climbing trees and fucking shit up.

Anyway, it made me feel very uncomfortable to be so unfeminine when I was around my boyfriend, because I enjoy playing the role of the feminine girlfriend and I enjoy looking good and sexy for him. He found it very funny, as he has seen the pictures of me from the past and always says how he wished he’d known me then 

[sashasioux]

Fashionistaaa

On Saturday I went to the Spice Route with friends, so I decided to be the Fashion Plate. Since I got to the age where I started truly admiring and respecting fashion, it has been my one true passion//hobby.

There is nothing I like more than to go shopping, and to try out new trends and styles. This is why I feel that throughout my life I have been stereotyped so much. I truly enjoy putting on a new outfit that is completely different to who I am as a person, and still feeling comfortable in it. Regardless of other peoples opinions and looks. 

In the last 2-3 years I have become more conscious and more aware of peoples reactions to me, physically and personally. So this intervention, in a way, has helped come back to my main belief of not giving a fuck hat anyone thinks about you, because of what you wear or otherwise. I must just keep doin’ me and not care what others have to say.

[sashasioux]

Wednesday Addams Chic

Friday was the day of the goth//emo. I couldn’t say I was ever truly one of these stereotypes, but I did go through an anxy, melancholy teenage phase, as I’m sure anyone going trough puberty did. All I did was hole up in my room, writing poetry that I thought was the deepest thing since sliced bread, listening to Fall Out Boy//Panic! At The Disco.

I didn’t have a lot of gothic items of clothing in my wardrobe, so I wore a dress/skort dress I usually wear to special or smart occasions, which really decide remind the people who see it of Wednesday Addams. If only my hair were a bit longer and then I could play the part perfectly, pigtails and all. I paired the dress with a pair of chunky, leather boots and ripped tights with a gothic cross on it.

Because of the fact that the dress was quite smart, I felt exposed and very itchy in my own skin. It is my absolute worst to be under//over-dressed for ANYTHING. Coming to college over-dressed made me feel as if I was drawing attention to myself, or even worse that people thought I actually wanted that attention. 

Anyway, I think I had more of a problem with my outfit than anyone. Most of the comments were about the Addams Family, as well as friends laughing at the thought of me being an emo-punk.

If there was one cringe inducing moment of the day it was when I was leaving college and walking down Chiappini street, a street-person who was carrying his packets up the road made contact with me, and the proceeded to drop his bags onto the pavement, turned around and continued to stare at me until I had turned the corner and was out of his sight. I hate unnecessary attention and this felt like it was completely my fault, and I brought it onto myself.

[sashasioux]

Hipster or Hobo?

First thangs first, I’ve decided to upload the pictures at a later stage, so that I can set out a day to re-wear all the outfits that I’ve worn in the past week and take proper pictures, not shitty quality ones. 

So on Thursday I went to school as a hipster. I looked upon it as more of a cheat day, mainly because the first question multiple people asked me, was ‘Did you forget to dress up today?’

Now, I don’t see myself as a hipster, but apparently the majority of my friends at college do. Then again, I was sort of wearing my usual clothes. So there wasn’t any major revelations had on Thursday, all I can say, is that I felt comfy as fuck in my oversized, 80s wooly sweater and high-waisted jeans. Someone even asked me if my glasses weren’t lensed (yes they are) but that would’ve been the ultimate hipster move. 

What even qualifies a hipster anyway?

[sashasioux]

Sickling

Today was not my finest hour, I was unable to leave the bed, so in a new turn of events today was the day of the Sickling. It wasn’t part of my list but I guess things happen for a reason. And it is something that, ironically, makes me uncomfortable. 

When I was in grade nine I become bed-ridden for a few months. I ached everywhere, I couldn’t think properly and I was slowly becoming depressed. No doctor knew what was wrong with me, for a while it was just trial and error of a plethora of drugs. Finally after a good three months, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, the invisible illness. No one truly knows what causes it, and there is no set cure. 

Since then I have worked very hard on my body, my lifestyle and my mindset in order to get where I am today. I am blessed to have a family that stood by me and supported me in my darkest hours, I will always be thankful that they didn’t give up hope, when I did. 

And so, in its own weird way, being sick makes me uncomfortable. Just feeling the slightest loss of control of my body, my sanity, makes me anxious. Everytime I have a flare-up, or get a mega migraine I panic that my room will become the only place I see in a few months. 

Hopefully tomorrow will bring a positive light into my life.

[sashasioux]

Happy Hippie!

I came into college wearing colourful tie-dye pants with beading on the bottom and a crop top with two large pot leaves emblazoned on my boobs and my crystal necklaces. Usually, i would feel comfortable in this, thats the strange thing about context. I am often called a hippie because of my love of trance festivals, and my free spirit and outlook on life. 

Trance festivals are my way to let go, and to enjoy the world around me with my favourite people. The stigma and stereotype that go hand-in0hand with this passion isn’t always sunflowers and rainbows. It holds a stigma that if you go to this parties you’re a drug addict, someone who doesn’t contribute to society and elder generations usually don’t understand what beautiful and loving events they really are. 

About context, at a festival, this outfit is the norm. I wouldn’t even think twice before putting it on and boogying down to the dance floor. But walking up the road from the Cape Quarter to campus, I felt many looks. It was almost as if because I was dressed in this way elder women didn’t really care that they were looking at me for that second too long, it was as if they had no respect for me without even knowing me. As well as that they didn’t care that I was becoming visibly uncomfortable.

When I got to college I had many people asking me about my intervention as they were confused as to why I was dressed so different from the previous day. One person made a comment that resonated with me “Its almost like you’re revisiting your past”. I liked that thought, it hadn’t occurred to me.

[sashasioux]

Gym Bunny:

From the ages of fifteen to sixteen, gym was my life. I would go to the gym 6 days a week, for a minimum of and hour and a half - it ruled me. And while it was the healthiest and the fittest I have ever been, it was an addiction. 

Since I dealt with the addiction I haven’t been back, the thought scares me too much. I cannot fathom my life where something is slowly controlling me and becoming my everything. 

Gymming has become more about fitness and health in todays society. Now it is more about what gym you go to and whether you took enough selfies to verify that you were actually at the gym. Nobody cares that you’re working out, but more about whether you were wearing those ‘in’ Nike trainers and the cute new outfit you just bought for the sole purpose of taking a picture.  

Today was uncomfortable to say the least. Not only was it difficult mentally for me to be wearing these clothes, but also on a very shallow and self-aware level. Clothes are a huge part of my life, retail therapy and fashion is what keeps me going and makes me feel good about myself. My pet peeve is people wearing their gym clothes//track suits outside of its correct context, EG: gym and exercising.

I went out for lunch today by myself after college, and I was very aware of ordering food that might have been perceived as a contrast to the outfit I was wearing. When you wear exercise gear outside of context, it gives people a preconceived idea about you as a person, and I was worried about how it would’ve looked for me to be ordering a certain type of food.

At college, many people were curious about my outfit choice as it truly is out of my style range, and out of character. All of my peers at Vega do not know the ‘me’ I was before I came here, and throughout the week it’ll be interesting for them to see the different typecasts and boxes I was put into before I started becoming the person I am growing to be.