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we're not kids anymore.
$LAYYYTER
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JBB: An Artblog!
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@satticwrites
I've got a website!
I made a website. I really enjoyed making a website for my professional writng portfolio so I made on for my online persona too!
I'm gonna use it to archive all my writing (that I publish with my online pseudonym). Additionally, I've linked it to this blog so even if I'm posting there and not here, new content will be added here too!
check it out:
I'm a mess and that's OK.
You Can't Understand
Published to Tumblr on November 1, 2018 It’s a weight I can’t lift. It’s intrusive thoughts that won’t leave. It’s my mind feeling cloudy and my body feeling heavy. It hurts to breathe because the problems won’t go away. It’s hard to explain, and no metaphor seems right because some people won’t understand. They can’t. Not now. Maybe, not ever. I’m trying to find the words, and they’re just ……
Cyber Stalker
Published to Tumblr on November 1, 2018 I hate to admit it, but I am a cyber stalker. I am your cyber stalker. I watch you from afar but don’t engage. It’s because I’m still not over you yet, not by a long shot. And I so desperately want to reach out to you – with my whole heart – but I’m not prepared to make first contact. I miss you, wholly and completely. And it pains me to even write this,…
Hopeless Catharsis
Published to Tumblr November 1, 2018 It crept around for far too long that I got comfortable and ignored the signs. I became complicit in my own downfall. And by the time I realised I had begun to fall, it was too late. It seemed almost without warning that the solitude caused me to sink even lower. How was I to know what living alone, if only temporarily, would cause my depression to rise to…
Failure
It’s like I’m allowed one good day and the rest must be trash. And somehow the trash of the second day tarnishes all the good from the first. And it makes me feel like a failure because every time I take a step forward, I’m taking three steps back. And it feels like I’ll never get to where I want to go. I’ve been on this journey for too long – two years longer than most. And you know what? I’m…
Paralives
So, I’ve just doubled the amount of games I own. From two (Stardew Valley and all the Sims content for Mac) to four (I added A Little to the Left and Paralives). It’s very exciting for someone who doesn’t qualify as a gamer. OK, I’m exaggerating a little. I own The Sims 2, 3, and 4; Stardew (mobile and desktop; I prefer the controls on mobile, so I use that version more); Storyteller; and Dream…
Scheduling drafts?
I need to learn how to schedule drafts. I have been on a posting streak for the last couple of weeks. And I want to keep that momentum because I have tons of drafts. But I think I’m going to have to start scheduling drafts to be published rather than panicking on my weekends to make sure I post before midnight. How simple is scheduling? Is it like Tumblr, where I can plan the day and time a…
Soul Stealer
Written December 7, 2019 Inspired by “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish Background and composition: The song made me think of sleep paralysis -something I do not suffer from- and my mum’s retelling of her Oma’s stories that the figure you see during this time is actually someone who’s soul is stuck on another plain and they’re looking to take over your body while your soul was out dream walking.…
Unreliable Narrator
Published to Tumblr on August 23, 2018. Am I a reliable narrator? Am i automatically unreliable because I am a first-person narrator? Or do I have to say something that calls the whole text into question? Is it even possible to be a reliable narrator in life when everyone has a very different and subjective view of reality? But my life’s not a work of fiction nor is my perception of reality. So…
Don't Want Happy
Posted to Tumblr July 18, 2018 I don’t want to be happy. That’s OK, right? That’s allowed? I want to wallow in the misery you’ve given me today. And I want you to know you made me feel this way. I’m tired of the blame, I’m sick of being treated like a child. I have anxiety but I’m not naïve. I don’t think we are meant to live together. Our relationship was far better when I was three provinces…
With my Heart
Inspired by “The Things We Used to Share” by Thomas Sanders and Joan. Written April 20, 2018 I’m stumbling on boxes, boxes which held the story of our time together. Some yours, others mine, filled with things we once called ours. When I look at them I can’t help but feel a pain in my chest in the very spot my heart used to be. I don’t really care about the things we used to share, but what…
A Boy Who Couldn't Last, Abandon, and Don't Change
All three will have retrospectives. All three are based on the song “On the Borderline” by Thomas Sanders and Joan. “A Boy Who Couldn’t Last” and “Abandon” were written on May 28, 2018 while “Don’t Change” was written July 1, 2018. Jump to: A Boy Who Couldn’t Last RetrospectiveAbandonRetrospectiveDon’t ChangeRetrospective
You
I will do a retrospective on this one. I think this was written circa 2018-19. I’m not quite sure. It was originally on the “Handwritten” Page before that page was deleted. Preface: I have since re-united with this person. We are on good terms. And yes, they are still with their boyfriend, he is now their husband. I saw an old photo of you on one of my Facebook accounts today. It looks like it…
Blocked
I’m not doing a retrospective on this one. I think this was written circa 2018-19. I’m not quite sure. It was originally on the “Handwritten” Page before that page was deleted. I don’t think I’ve written anything longer than a single page in length for several months … and that is driving me crazy! I’m starting to think it might be something beyond simple writer’s block. I’ve done some research…
Notebooks
I’m not doing a retrospective on this one. I think this was written circa 2018-19. I’m not quite sure. It was originally on the “Handwritten” Page before that page was deleted. I am addicted to notebooks and journals. Honestly, I’m so easy to shop for: get me a journal, and I’ll love you forever. I am a very simple girl, and I always want more. But with more, there comes a problem. Despite my…
Bullet Journal
I’m not doing a retrospective on this one. I think this was written circa 2018-19. I’m not quite sure. It was originally on the “Handwritten” Page before that page was deleted. So, I bought a bullet journal because I think I have the type of brain that would benefit from one. I have a lot of to-do lists and lots of notes scattered across different whiteboards, and somehow, despite all the…
Productivity
I’m not doing a retrospective on this one. I think this was written circa 2018-19. I’m not quite sure. It was originally on the “Handwritten” Page before that page was deleted. I need to start thinking about what I did accomplish rather than what I couldn’t. it might not be a lot of progress but it’s still progress. I brushed my hair and my teeth, did some of my makeup, I coloured, and did some…