Villain: Dude, what about Frank?!
Hero: … who?
Villain: Frank! Franklin Jones! Wears my henchmen’s uniform, had the key to my door, GOT MURDERED BY SOME ASSHOLE TWO WEEKS BEFORE HIS KID’S BALLET RECITAL?!
Hero: … you know your henchmen’s names?
Villlain: OF COURSE I DO! I SEE THESE PEOPLE EVERY DAY! THEY’RE MY FRIENDS! What, you thought I just went to the fucking minion store and bought three hundred assistants?! People don’t work for evil overlords unless they really like the evil overlord!
Hero: Well, I mean, I though henchmen were just kinda… there?
Villain: … you thought Frank. Whom I entrusted with the key to my personal chamber. Who I named the godfather of my children. Was just. There.
Hero: YOU HAVE KIDS?!
Villain: HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT?! WE’VE BEEEN NEMESI FOR DECADES!
Hero: WHY WOULD I KNOW THAT? YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE I WANT DEAD!
Villain: HOW AM I THE VILLAIN HERE?!
That’s why I like Terry Pratchett’s “Guards! Guards!” It just basically asked “hey so what about these guys from the city guard huh?” and then I hear he went and made the main character like the best character in all of literature but I’m not there yet
Talk about double standards :D
