couldnāt make it any harder | LJN smau
pt. 24: jaemin caught a bad case of the stripes
wc: 15k (yeah... this might be why it took me weeks to finish) (donāt mind the excessive use of the em dash)
see masterlist for warnings and details :)
"i've never had a cigarette before," jeno confessed. "really?" yn's eyebrows shot up, and she dropped her hand from where it was holding out the stick. the intensity of her stare made the boy shrink, suddenly feeling insecure about his lack of experience. "wait, no, that's not a bad thing," she clarified, "just a little surprising."
"surprising?" jeno's voice carried a tinge of curiosity within it, and the tilt of his head was reminiscent of a puppy. "well, uni is the time for people to try all kinds of shit," she started, and jeno continued to give her his undivided attention. "you smoked a blunt with me last time, so i just assumed." the dark haired boy hummed, head tilting back as he thought over her words.
"that's fair." he shrugged before dropping his head back to meet her eyes again. "i guess the opportunity just never presented itself," he added. yn seemed to understand him, her head nodding along to his words slowly. "do you mind? the smell sucks, i can move away if it's better for you." she raised the carton that was tight in her grasp, and jeno was taken aback by the thoughtfulness in her words.
"no, you go ahead," he assured, "i followed you out here, i knew what i was getting into." the look she gave him showed that she wasn't very convincedāalmost like she wanted him to say noābut he just nodded his head with a small smile. slowly, albeit reluctantly, yn turned away to light her smoke. she angled herself away from him, and jeno held back his amusement at her slight apprehensiveness.
the silence fell over the pair like a blanket, and the only sounds heard were the flickering of yn's lighterāwhich was the same one she had last timeāand her deep inhales. they were a far enough distance from the house for the party to be muffled, and the music and bass coming from johnny's dj setup were nothing but background noise. jeno found himself looking over the property and how it was surrounded by nothing but trees. he hadn't noticed how far they were from the city yet, seeing as his mind had been rather...preoccupied on the ride to the party.
jeno glanced over in yn's direction and noticed her change in stature. she was leaning back against the stone they sat on, her empty hand holding her steady as the other raised periodically to her lips. he copied her movements and leaned back as well, and he stretched his arms back to hold on to the edge of the platform. his eyes stayed focused on her form, and his lip twitched when he noticed how she was careful to blow her smoke away from him.
"i'm used to it," he piped, his voice cutting through their peaceful silence. yn looked over her shoulder at him, and her curious eyes met his. "my dad's a smoker." he felt shy as he admitted so, anticipating the girls reaction. "really?" she asked, and he nodded. "yeah," he added. yn kissed her teeth as she let her hand fall limp, the ash on the end of her cigarette descending with the sudden movement. "is that part of the reason?" her voice wavered, slightly husk from the mix of harsh smoke and fear of overstepping.
he pondered over the question for a few seconds, the silence feeling more tense than it had before. "not sure," he concluded, and yn nodded her head in understanding. "i mean, i've smoked before." he broke their eye contact to look down at his outstretched legs, lifting his foot only to let it fall and scuff against the ground, "with the guys, when they have a dispo or something." he stopped to listen to her soft 'mhm', pausing his fidgeting to find her face again.
"but not a lot of people smoke actual cigarettes anymore. and when they do i just," he trailed off, trying to find the right words. "i don't know." yn huffed out a laugh at his pout, a sign of him giving up on trying voice his thought properly. "it feels more serious, right?" she spoke slowly, laying out the words for him to dissect. "yeah," he breathed out, taking in the gentle comfort swimming in her dark irises.
clearing her throat, yn sat up and scooted up to bring her legs into a criss-cross position. she used her free hand to rub her bare legs, the chilly november air nipping at her skin, and jeno cursed himself for not carrying a jacket with him. he continued to admire her as she turned back to her cig, the stick now shorter than it was before. he couldn't help himself from drinking her in, and he wished nothing more than to live in that moment forever.
"my dad was a smoker, too." this time it was yn who broke the silence. she turned to look at him, surprised to see him already looking at her. the previous chill she had before was now replaced with warmth as her skin flushed, and she chose to blame the buzzball and jell-o shots in her system. (though she isn't fooling anyone, not even herself)
"really?" jeno asked, and it was yn's turn to nod. "yup," she popped the 'p', sighing as she slouched over to drop her head down, "a pack a week from the moment he gave in to peer-pressure." jeno nodded in understanding, only realizing after a period of silence that she wasn't even looking at him. he opened his mouth to vocalize his response, but she beat him to it. "i always thought it was unfair how my mom was the one who ended up with cancer."
well shit. jeno's mouth went dry at the information, and he didn't know how to respond to the sensitive information. "i'm sorry." was what he settled for, hoping he didn't come off weird. she burst out laughing; jeno's eyes widened. she looked over at him and laughed even harder at his horrified expression. she raised her hand to cover her mouth as her giggles turned into soundless wheezes, and jeno joined her with his own astonished laughs.
"what?" he sounded so confused that yn had to close her eyes and force herself to breathe, and she leaned over to slap his arm. "no no, i-" she burst out cackling once she opened her eyes again, finding his puzzled expression too cute. her body was shaking violently, and her hand fell to his thigh in an attempt to catch herself from falling over. jeno, though still very confused, couldn't help but join her fit of laughter. the two of them probably looked insane to anyone passing by, but they were too busy stuck in their own bubble to care.
eventually they both dwindled into quiet chuckles as they fought to catch their breaths, the absurdness of the situation catching up to them. "sorry," responded yn once she allowed her lungs to fill with fresh air, "out of pocket?" jeno grinned, "just a little." yn smiled back, looking at him softly before she paused. jeno watched as she twisted around looking for something, and she let out a groan once she found what it was.
she leaned over the edge of the stone, balancing in a way that stressed jeno out more than necessary, and reached her arm out. she teetered dangerously, and let out a soft yelp as she tried to catch herself. jeno, who had been eyeing her like a hawk in fear of that happening, was quick to grab her arm and stabilize her. yn breathed out a 'thanks' before finally picking up her fallen cigarette.
jeno huffed a little at the sight of it, and all yn could do was grin sheepishly at him. "oops." the long haired girl settled back down and reached into her pocket for her lighter. this time, jeno didn't shy away, and instead watched her intently as she placed the half-burned stick between her teeth. she used one hand to cup the lighter as she flicked it on, holding the flame steady at the end while simultaneously inhaling, and waited for the tobacco to burn.
seriously, how does she make something so shameful look so divine?
swallowing down the saliva that pooled in his throat, jeno turned away like it would prevent her from hearing his thoughts. "she passed away when i was 14." yn's voice cut through his wandering thoughts, and jeno froze. "i'm sorry for your loss," he sympathized, and yn waved her hand lazily at him. "nothing to be sorry for. everything happens for a reason." she took another hit and pulled the cig away to tap off the growing ash.
jeno zoned in on the ash that had now began to settle to the ground beneath them. "what about your dad?" he tried to search for any emotion on her face, wondering whether it was okay to push, "does he still smoke?" yn let out a dry laugh, and jeno's heart dropped. "i wouldn't know," she spat harshly, before seemingly realizing her tone and frowning, "he left us." jeno opened his mouth to apologize, but yn raised her hand to stop him.
"you have nothing to be sorry for, it's not your fault." she avoided his eyes and instead began to fiddle with the hem of her purple dress. "still," jeno started, his voice coming out slow and gentleāsimilar to one you would use on a frightened animal, "doesn't mean i can't sympathize." yn scoffed, and looked ready to throw a rebuttal, but stopped once she caught sight of the emotion hidden in his stare. overwhelmed with the intensity of it, she turned away.
"sure," she agreed. jeno smiled, and then decided that he would return her vulnerability. "may i?" he asked, his hand reaching out towards her. yn stared at his hand in confusion, unsure of what he was asking for. he pointed to the cigarette, and the girl realized what he was insinuating. she gave him a look, "are you sure?" the boy simply shrugged, "why not?"
yn stared at him blankly for a bit, likely searching for any hint of hesitation. he gave her another nod and closed mouth smile to reassure her, and yn narrowed her eyes. "are you really sure?" she askedāagainālike she wasn't convinced. jeno just laughed and nodded yet again. "yes, i'm sure. one won't kill me," he chimed. a familiar smile made its way on to her face, and yn sighed, "alright, but if you become a smoker, don't blame me."
"i won't, but if i do, you have permission to hit me." jeno flashed her his teeth, and yn giggled, "be warned, i will take you up on that." she moved her hand closer to let him pluck the burning stick from its resting place between her index and middle finger. his fingers lightly grazed her skin, and yn had to force the shivers that crept up her spine down.
it was her turn to watch him, her eyes lingering on his hands as he turned the slim object around. the rose colored lip gloss she was wearing to go with her 'megara' costume was staining the end of it, and jeno was sure that some of it had rubbed off on his own fingers. once he was done inspecting it, he placed it gently between his own two fingers just like yn had. it felt a lot more scary now that he was holding the thing, and jeno had to bite his tounge to try and settle his nerves.
"so, its just like a vape, right?" yn smiled, and the boy suddenly felt insecure about his question. "yup, just inhale, then exhale." she reached out to pat his thigh, and jeno tensed even more at her added touch. he opened his mouth to speak again, but closed it once he got in his own head. "hey." his head snapped over to yn, and she gave him a reassuring smile. "this is a judgment free zone, okay?"
"will it burn?" he bit his lip, and yn shook her head. "it shouldn't. just start off with a little bit. like this," she demonstrated for him, and he studied her movements. turning back to the cigarette, he hyped himself up in his head. 'just get it over with,' he thought while bringing it up to his mouth. once he closed his lips around it, he inhaled, taking in only a small amount of smoke like yn showed him.
he removed the stick from his lips as he breathed in the smoke. he could feel it traveling down into his lungs, and he fought down the itch that formed in his throat. he closed his eyes as he exhaled, enjoying the slight tingle from the nicotine. yn watched with her mouth slightly parted, marveling at the delicious sight in front of her. she was snapped out of her trance by jeno coughing, and she immediately reached down to grab her discarded beer to shove into his hand.
"that wasn't that bad," he concluded once he chugged down some of the liquid. "right? its really not that different from anything else." she tilted her head at him, and he bounced his head in agreement, "yeah." she reached over to pluck the cig from him. "it just feels illegal because we grew up with everyone saying its bad," she explained, and she went in for a hit once she was done talking.
"well, it is bad," jeno argued as he watched her exhale. yn laughed, the rest of the smoke coming out in puffs with each force. "true, but only if abused," she responded, "drunk cigs don't count. if you're smoking while sober, well... then that's a problem." jeno furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to make sense of her logic. "if you say so," he decided, and yn rolled her eyes.
"hey, this is a judgment free zone, remember?" she warned, shoving his shoulder lightly. "right, right. sorry," he apologized, though the amused smile on his face showed he knew she wasn't serious. he gestured for the cig, and yn let him take it. silence fell over them as they shared what was left of it, the two of them enjoying the buzz the drug left behind.
jeno's mind wandered, and he found himself staring off into the line of greenery surrounding the property. his thoughts drifted over to the girl next to him, and he began thinking about how good it felt just being there with her. he turned to admire her for the umpteenth time that night. she looked prettyātoo prettyāin her costume. the purple complimented her skin beautifully, and the bronze accents looked like they were glowing underneath the outdoor lights.
her hair was pulled up into a ponytailāwith the exception of her bangs, and jeno had the urge to brush them out of her face in order to appreciate her better. and her legs, god her legs, looked miles long in her strappy heels, and her skin glittered with the remnants of whatever product she used to get them that shiny. she truly looked like a goddess, at least in jeno's eyes.
the buzz of his phone broke jeno out of his daydream (nightdream?), and he leaned back to retrieve it from his pocket. swiping up to unlock it, jeno checked his notifications. shifting his weight, jeno used one hand to type out a response to mark, his long fingers allowing him to do so with no struggle. he set his phone down beside him once he finished, and yn turned to address him.
"the boys?" she inquired, and he hummed. "yeah," he confirmed, and yn gave him a 'thought so' look. "yup, jaemin and haechan have been watching us for about 5 minutes now." jeno paused at her words, and he slowly turned his head towards her. picking up on his dumfoundedness, the girl huffed. "seriously? you haven't noticed?" she asked, and jeno shook his head. gesturing over her shoulder, jeno followed the direction she directed him towards.
"they're so loud, you seriously need to pay more attention to your surroundings." jeno squinted his eyes as he finally spotted jaemin and haechan's heads peeking over a hedge, scoffing as they ducked down once they noticed him looking in their direction. picking up his phone again, the boy began typing a message in their groupchat. "renjun's coming to get them," he told her, and yn shook her head amused.
"some friends you have," she joked, and jeno laughed with her, "how you can deal with them, i'm not sure." "tell me about it," he chuckled, and they both turned at the sound of renjun's voice scolding the two drunken idiots. it was quite the sight to see, with the shortest of the two dragging the two intoxicated boys away by their ears. the sounds of their protests and cries echoed through the once peaceful night, and finally ended once renjun got them inside.
the two dressed in matching costumes were the only ones present once more, with the exception of the other partygoers lingering on the other side of the backyard. with the disturbances gone, the peace returned again, and tender silence washed over the pair. jeno fiddled with the hem of his shorts, goosebumps rising on his skin with each gust of wind, and he wondered if yn was cold, too. turning to find out, he found her relaxed and focused on something, and he followed her gaze to find out what.
"the moon is beautiful, isn't it?" her breathy voice came out hushedāalmost as if she was afraid to disturb the atmosphere around them. jeno's breath hitched, and his body trembled in anticipation.
'does she... no,' his thoughts trailed off. the boy continued to stare at her, letting her words float in the air as he tried to make sense of his thoughts. there's no way she meant it like that, right? but then again, the way she said it was too perfect for it to be coincidental. swallowing, jeno decided to take his chances.
yn slowly turned to face the boy she harbored feelings for, feeling her chest grow tight at the sight of him. she was right, the moon is beautiful. his dark hair, his pale skin, his pink lips, his annoyingly cute mole, and the eyes above it. lord his eyes. the whites of his eyes shined brightly under the starry sky, and his pupils were blown so wide she could see the reflection of the moon in them. the intensity in which he was looking at her was overwhelming, and yn had to look away as to not do something she wasn't sure about.
'she does,' jeno thought, and he pushed himself off his hands. he let his instincts take over as he reached out for her, and was only inches away when the sound of yelling suddenly became present. the pair swiveled their heads around to find out what happened, only to witness a group of boys attempting to tackle each other into the pool. people began to flood the backyard, all hoping to see some people get thrown in, and began edging them on. finally, they got some guy dressed as jack sparrow to fall in, and the crowd erupted in cheers.
"looks like the party made its way out." yn broke the silence, and jeno simply nodded in response. he was annoyed for obvious reasons. great timing, amirite? movement from the corner of his eye captured his attention, and he watched the girl slip off the stone to stretch.
"well, the party has decided we've neglected it for too long. shall we?" she gestured towards the house, and the boy moved to follow her. "might as well."
to say jeno was disappointed was an understatement. it was eminent in the way he was lost in his head throughout their journey through the labyrinth that is jackson wang's mansion. yn lead him through the house, twisting and turning through the people who were drunk enough to not care about how in the way they were. the crowd seemed to have doubled in the time the pair spent outside, which couldn't have been longer than 30 minutes. the girl even had to grab a hold of his arm for him to keep up at one point, and that was the only time he seemed to snap back to reality.
he tried to ignore the pounding in his chest as he stared down at where their skin met, but he couldn't. his mind was swirling with thoughts, each of them leaving him more and more confused. the internal battle he was having with himself about whether she harbored the same feelings for him was intense, and he honestly didn't know what was real or fake anymore. was he delusional? probably, who knows?
can you blame him, though? after all, this was the girl he had been crushing on for years. and from the moment he set his eyes on her during freshman orientation, he knew. he knew this was going to be his biggest heartbreak. because how could a girl as beautiful and perfect as jeong yn fall for an awkward loser like him?
she was everything he wasn't. confident and charismatic, with a natural charm that lures people in without them realizing it. her outspoken nature left others curious about her, and she never failed to draw eyes everywhere she went. she took the spotlight and shined beneath it, playing a show that impressed even the most stoic beings. she was firm in her beliefs, never going so far as to bring others down who haven't done anything wrong, choosing instead to support those who need it. she might be a pretty face, but jeno loved her for who she was on the inside.
he loved how she didn't let people disrespect her, and especially not those close to her. if he was a dog, then she was lion. he admired how she stood up for her people and protected them no matter the circumstance. she was the kind of leader who shared everything she received with those around her. and most of all, he loved who she was when she was in her element. when she was the most like herself.
she had a habit of blending into the walls when she was focused on her studies. in the library, the classroom, or even the cafe he got a job to work at just because she favored it. somehow, she always found a spot hidden away from wandering eyes. it was then that he was able to truly admire her; not in a stalker way. (sure jeno, sure...)
he loved how she had a system to her things, and how she never left something out of place. how she would roll up her sleeves only to roll them back down moments later, and how she would play with her sweater paws when lost halfway into a paragraph. and he always thought she looked the cutest when she would bring her pen to her teeth to nibble on it, only to grow disgusted once she realized she had done soātruly a germaphobe. and he loved how, despite her desperate attempts to maintain her image, she always slipped into her natural state when it was just herself and her friends.
oh how he wished he could be one of those she trusted enough to be herself around.
the bright lights of the kitchen were blinding compared to the rest of the dimly lit house, and jeno had to blink a few times to adjust to them. somehow, they were back at square one. both literally, and figuratively. they were back where they were at the beginning of their adventure, and back to their little game of wondering where they stood in their feelings.
yn kept her hand on his wrist as she guided him back to where they had taken a shot together earlier, and dropped it once she placed him where she wanted him. he let her, of course, wanting nothing more than to be good for her. she sauntered over to the sink and opened up the doors beneath it. jeno watched curiously as she dug around inside, pushing aside cleaning products to feel around. she furrowed her eyebrows once she felt something, and let out an 'aha' once she retrieved it.
he leaned closer to try and make out the object, and yn outstretched her hand to show him. there between her perfectly manicured nails lay a little silver key. before jeno could question her, the girl spun around and skipped over to a drawer with a lock on it. she shoved the key into the hole and twisted it, then pulled open the drawer once the lock clicked. she retrieved something from inside, but dropped it into her pocket before jeno could see what it was.
she repeated the steps in reverse until the key was back in its hiding place. all of a sudden, yn turned to look at him with a deadly glare. "you saw nothing," she growled, and jeno's mouth opened and closed like a fish, experiencing whiplash from her sudden change in behavior. "i, yeah no, i didn't see anything," he sputtered, and yn's glare dropped. "that's right," she smirked, "good boy."
jeno should probably be embarrassed by how his body reacted to her calling him that, but honestly, he's been down bad for less. still, he hoped the flush that crept up his neck wasn't noticeable. thankfully, yn didn't waste a second in turning around to snatch a bottle off of the countertop. she inspected it for a second before shrugging and twisting the top off. she reached out for the plastic cups that were conveniently placed on the other side, and huffed when she couldn't reach them.
jeno watched amused, very much enjoying the sight of her struggling, but his face dropped when she pushed herself on to her tiptoes and laid her stomach across the cold surface beneath her. the position she was in would've been sexier had it not been in the middle of a house where anyone could walk into the kitchen at any moment. just when she began to lift her knee up to climb the marble, jeno hissed through his teeth and grabbed her leg to hold it down.
yn froze, her head snapping over to jeno with a bark on the tip of her tounge, but whatever strong, independent woman bullshit response she had on her tounge died down at the view bestowed upon her. his face carried a stern expression with a subtle wrinkle in his eyebrow, and his jaw was clenched. one arm was outstretched towards the stack of red solo cups she had been determined to grab, and the other was by her side. his muscles were strained under the exertion, and she just about buckled at the unnecessarily sexy way his hand looked around her calf.
his knuckles were pale from how much force he put into keeping her from kicking him away, (not that she was focused on doing so anymore) and the veins that lined his hands bulged so much that she couldn't help but wonder if a paper cut could take him out. seriously, the sight was straight from a phlebotomist's wet dream. she mentally thanked him for deciding to wear that costume and blessing her with such a sight.
back in jeno's world, he successfully completed his task in pulling the stack towards them, and turned to address the girl. he noticed her frozen stature and furrowed his eyebrows. following her gaze downwards, he realized she was staring down at where he was holding her. with his own eyes widening, he immediately let her go and pounced away like a frightened cat. he was too worried about disrespecting her boundaries to realize that the emotion behind her eyes wasn't fear, but instead something a little more... explicit.
"i'm sorry," he started, "i shouldn't have touched you without asking first." his apology was sincere, and yn would've appreciated it more if her body wasn't begging for him to touch her again. jesus, is this a whore house? she felt like a teenage boy popping a boner for the first time. celibacy does that to a bitch, i guess.
"it's okay." she swallowed the saliva that threatened to drip out of her mouth, "you just scared me." scared. yep, scared was totally how she felt then. its not like she was wondering if the unholy thoughts in her mind would give her a full-ride ticket to the pits of hell. eh, she was probably already going anyways.
before jeno could apologize again, and before she could go back to checking out his delicious arms, yn gave him a grin. "well i don't know about you, but i feel a little too sober." she gestured with her hands towards the bottle on the counter. "which is basically illegal if you're at a jackson party," she added.
jeno turned his gaze from the bottle of jack daniel's (green apple ofc) back to the girl, "what do you propose we do, then?" matching the wicked grin on her face, jeno grabbed the cups as she snatched up the flavored whiskey. "get drunk," she smirked, turning her body while her head was still facing him, "duh."
partying with jeno was... an experience. yn couldn't decide whether the inner turmoil she was facing was worth it. i mean, she was only about two shots in and already feeling that bubbly feeling in her stomach. though, that was probably due to jeno more than the alcohol.
but still, she couldn't let her feelings distract her from her true goal of the night: show jeno what a jackson party really was. after all, he was her guest. (she says that like she didn't immediately forget about the other 6)
she led him through the house as if she was his personal tour guide. she stopped at each game or activity that had been put together by the attendees, including (but not limited to): glow in the dark beer pong, drinking contests, costume contests, apple bobbing, card games, board games, etc. whatever game you can think of, you bet your ass they had it. except for pin the nose on pennywise, that got shut down real quick after they started using the thumbtacks to stab each other.
before this, yn thought she was good at party games. but now? she was nothing compared to jeno. maybe it was because he held his alcohol well, or maybe his competitive nature had something to do with it. whatever it was, it made him absolutely demolish the competition. and when they teamed up together? shit, people started coming up with all sorts of titles for them, each more cringe and cliche than the next.
the glow in the dark ping pong was set up in a way that was similar to a rave. the only lights in the room were the strobe lights and black lights. the flashes of color came from the neon splattering the walls, and the glow bracelets being handed around. oh, and the beer pong cups themselves. and the pong balls. and... wait, are those girls covered in neon paint? so that's where the walls got their color from...
the pair only played one round, then dipped before they could be roped into joining the competition for those who won their respective rounds. yn noticed mark and jaemināwho had some very sus neon paint smudged around his mouthāand excitedly hit the back of jeno's arm. he turned to see where she was pointing at, recognition flashing across his face at the sight of his friends. they caught marks eye, who smiled and waved when he saw them.
he turned to nudge jaemin, but grew confused when he wasn't there. the three searched for him, but didn't have to look far, as he was now making out with one of the paint girls from earlier. they rolled their eyes at his antics, and yn paused when she noticed something. the girl he was making out with had orange paint, but the color he wore earlier had been pink. her eyes wandered over to pink girl, and cringed when she saw the betrayal on her face when she noticed the other two.
she shared a 'oh shit' look with jeno, then the two looked to mark, who was pinching his nose in frustration. they watched the oldest boy make his way over right as pink girl caught up to the duo. before he could interfere, though, the three of them were caught by surprise. pink girl pulled orange girl away from jaemin, and started to tell her something. then, orange girl pulled her down into their own kiss.
before any of them could react, the two girl then turned to include jaemin in the kiss. the three who were now witnessing some sort of throuple makeout seshāthese damn bisexualsāturned to each other with their jaws dropped. yn mouthed a 'what the fuck' with an expression that read the same thing on her face, and mark just shot back an 'idfk dude'. with that, the still very confused girl turned to grab jeno and get out of there before they could become witnesses to some form of public indecency.
they ran through all of the other events as quickly as they could while trying to not get caught up with everyone involved. the first few were enjoyable, and they had even bumped into seulgi and irene while watching the costume contest happening in the second living room. they were somehow dragged into participating, and even almost won first place. they lost to kai and jennieāwho had shocked the crowd even more than when they saw yn with jenoāwho were dressed as jack and sally from the nightmare before christmas.
while their costumes were incredible and deserved to win on their own, (seriously, yn couldn't imagine painting her whole body just for a college party) they won the popular vote due to the drama alone. you see, kai and jennie were notorious for their rocky relationship, and they had just broken up again for the 6th time last week. everyone thought they were truly done that time, but here we are. with everyone's focus on the first place couple, jeno took the initiative to sneak them away.
they ended up in the theater room where just dance was being projected on to the big screen. the two found new drinks in the fridge near the back (they lost their bottle somewhere along the way), and stationed themselves there. everyone present was watching ten and a very intoxicated jisung dance to timber, and they all began cheering when ten jumped on to the younger boy when the dance called for it. yn couldn't help but laugh when she heard jeno yelling out his support, and she found her eyes stuck to him.
he felt her staring at him, and when he gave her a soundless 'you good?', she simply nodded and turned back to where their friends were dancing. with a newfound confidenceāone that was named 'alcohol'āhis hand reached down to intertwine with hers. though her brain scrambled at his touch, her body reacted instantly. her fingers spread to welcome his in further, and her head dropped to lean against his bicep.
yn's world grew calm and quiet. the loud music and noises of excitement were muffled by a soft fuzz that sounded in her ears. the bass was replaced by the rhythmic beating of her heart against her ribcage; not frantic like it usually was, instead slow and heavy. his skin was warm and slightly sticky from the environment, but she found herself caring less than she normally did.
her other hand was still holding her half-empty smirnoff, but she brought it over to press against his arm anyways. she crossed it between their arms so it was sandwiched between, and their wrists were pressed together in the new position. the intimacy of it was almost dizzying, and yn would've never imagined herself to be in such a position. strangely, she found herself to be happy that it was jeno she was in it with.
she closed her eyes as she slumped more and more into jeno, the comfort he created better than any drug she's ever taken. her mind had never been so alive but quiet at the same time, and she had nothing but short thoughts every now and then. there was only one question lingering: was it her pulse that was going crazy, or his?
before she could think about it any harder, she was torn away from her peaceful state by jeno jolting beneath her. her eyes shot open, and she searched for the reasoning behind his reaction. he was looking wide eyed at something, and when yn followed his general direction, she let out a gasp.
ten was sprawled out on the floor holding his knee, and jisung was throwing up into a candy bowl that had been lying around. chenle was holding the younger boy upright, trying not to look too grossed out, while renjun was doing damage control. jeno, as gently as possible, tugged yn to follow him. he kept his grip tight on her hand as he pushed through the crowd, making sure she stayed close.
jeno immediately inserted himself into the situation, helping renjun to block the crowd from watching jisung. there were too many people, all of them trying to get a good view of what was happening, and the boys' efforts were to no avail. growing frustrated, yn let go of jeno's hand to do something other than just standing around.
she found her way beneath the theater screen and opened up the cabinet that she knew hid all of the entertainment systems. she scanned the different boxes and wires for something that looked like it could turn off everything, and finally set her sight on the red switch of the power strip everything was plugged into.
she pressed it and the shut off happened almost instantly. she slammed the little door shut once she ducked her head back out, and blindly made her way towards the light switch. thankfully, everyone was too confused to try and move, so she only had to push a few people out of the way.
she dragged her hand along the wall and found the switch. flipping it up, the bright lights stung the eyes of everyone inside. she blinked to adjust to them herself, and was relieved when she could see again. some people were already looking at her, but the others were still looking around either in confusion, or at jisung.
"hey," she barked, "you've never seen someone throw up before? it's a party for fucks sake, i promise you there's a lot more than vomit everywhere." that garnered some grossed out reactions from the bystanders, and yn scoffed. "yeah, exactly. now get the fuck out so we can clean this shit up."
she gestured wildly towards the exit, and watched as people began to file out. she moved out of the way and made a beeline towards jisung. "i've got him," she told chenle, who looked relieved and nodded at her. "thanks." she waved him off to go join renjun and jeno in half shielding jisung and half guiding people towards the exit.
yn rubbed the younger boys back while he dry heaved into the bowl, holding his hair back gently. she looked over her shoulder to give him privacy, surveying the situation. most of the people were removed from the room, and the last of them were nearing the exit. doyoung and his friend kun had found their way in along with haechan, mark, and jaemin.
doyoung and kun were tending to ten, who was very much fine, just super fucking dramatic. yn rolled her eyes at his whines, sharing a look with doyoung when he sent one her way. she turned to find the rest of the boys huddled together, no doubt talking about what went down.
"yn," groaned jisung, who sounded just as pathetic as he looked. "shh, you're okay. feel any better?" yn cooed gently, and he pouted while shaking his head. big mistake. he started gagging in his mouth at the movement, and yn quickly pushed his head back towards the bowl. she continued comforting him as he continued to spill his sick, closing her eyes while trying not to think of the sound too much.
"hey." it was renjun, yn discovered once she opened her eyes. "i'll take him." yn looked at him, uncertainty in her features. "are you sure?" she asked, and he smiled and gestured behind him, "yeah." she followed the movement and found the others looking at them, but she was immediately drawn into jeno's concerned face.
she gave him a soft smile, and he returned it half, clearly concerned for his friend. (and maybe for their moment being interrupted) it took renjun nudging her with his elbow for her to break their eye contact, and he gave her a knowing look. "go," he said, "before he starts again." she chuckled and shuffled to let renjun slip into her place. she waited for him to fully situate jisung's weight onto himself before letting go.
she sighed and made her way towards jeno and his friends, the walk feeling daunting with the way they were staring at her. like they knew, which was less than likely, because the only one who saw their closeness earlier was renjun. but still, she was fearing for her life.
and jeno, gosh. he was looking at her the way he usually does. it felt different from the way people normally looked at her, and she knows that feeling well, having been in the public eye her whole life. shit, her whole career is based around that. but it was jeno. his presence alone could stand out among a whole crowd of people.
"hey." she waved her hand awkwardly, and received a chorus of responses back from the less than enthusiastic boys. silence fell over them as they waited for jisung's retching to stop, but the looks they were sending each other said enough. yn could definitely relate, though not for the same reasons. they wanted to get back to the party, but she just wanted to have jeno to herself again.
before any of them (cough haechan cough) could break the silence with some out-of-pocket phrase, renjun motioned the group over. though they boys looked unwilling to participate in aiding the youngest (cough chenle and haechan again cough), they each made their way over.
yn was stuck deciding between helping out or letting them handle things on their own, but jeno beat her to deciding. "if you want to get back to the party, that's fine," he told her, "i don't want to force you to wait for me." immediately, yn shook her head.
"no, it's okay." she hugged herself, feeling shy with the way he was still focusing on her. "you aren't forcing me, i want to," reassured the girl, and she almost missed the way his face softened from her words. keyword, almost.
"alright," he nodded, but before he could turn around to join his friends, a figure came up behind him. "actually," said haechan, because of course it's haechan who would have his nose in everybody else's business, "you two can go ahead and go back to whatever it is you weirdos do alone." he swung his arm around the taller boy, leaning his weight against him as he glanced between the two of them with a certain glint in his eye.
"but-" "no buts," haechan cut jeno off, "we've got things under control." yn opened her mouth to rebuttal, but the lighter haired boy clicked his tounge and grabbed them by their elbows to drag them towards the exit. "you know, i really don't think that's true," yn voiced her concern as she watched the boys struggle over her shoulder.
mark and renjun were all-but wrangling jisung's arms over their shoulders. he wasn't sick anymore, thank god, but he was no longer in control of his body. in fact, he looked more like a limp spaghetti noodle than a human. jaemin was no help, too drunk and happy to care about anything, and was blabbing nonsense to the boys as if they weren't wresting their lanky drunk friend. and chenle, well, he was trying not to become sick himself as he held the vomit bowl arms length away from him.
"nonsense," haechan grinned, and he let go of their arms once they were past the door frame, "everything's fine. now off you lovebirds go." he waved his fingers with a devious smile on his face, one that made yn question their safety, before slamming the theater room door shut in their faces.
the dark haired duo stared at the door as the tried to process their friend(more like opp)'s wild antics. were they surprised? no, absolutely not. but i donāt think anyone could ever be prepared for whatever bullshit hyuck liked to stir up in that head of his.
slowly, yn panned her eyes over to jeno, who seemed to have the same idea as her. their eyes met with confusionāmostly exasperationābeing shared between them. then, jeno shrugged and took initiative by grabbing her hand to drag her along with him.
honestly, yn was just happy to be holding his hand again. she didnāt know (or care) where he was dragging her off to. in fact, she wasnāt sure if he knew where he was going at allāa fact that was proven to be true when he turned around a few seconds later.
āi was going to take us somewhere quieter, but i just realized i donāt know where that is.ā his bashful behavior was too cute, and yn wanted nothing more than to reach up and pinch his cheek. instead of giving into her urges, yn just tightened her grip on his hand and pulled him closer to her.
āwell, thereās only a few places in this house that could be considered quiet,ā she trailed off thinking, her head dropping slightly to the left. the vacancy of those spots, however, wasn't guaranteed. her typical getaway spot was in the backyard, but today's halloween bash meant even that space was occupied.
"but," she started, moving back to face him in a speed that caused jeno to jolt, "i think i know a place."
the confused expression jeno wore was as cute as it was funny, and yn had to bite her lip to stifle her laugh. his eyebrows were pinched together, and he adorned a soft pout with his lips.
"is this a bathroom?" he asked after a moment of silence. yn could feel his eyes fixated on her from where he was standing hesitantly near the doorway, the same spot she deposited him in favor of finding the lights. "not just any bathroom." she flipped the switch, and jeno squinted once the bright lights evaded his senses. yn cursed, quickly turning that switch down while picking the right one.
"its the main guest bathroom, my favorite out of all the ones in this house," she clarified, turning to him with her hands spread out and an enthusiastic "ta-da" once she found the proper switch. the chandelierāthat jeno just now noticedāencapsulated the room in a soft glow, and he finally took the chance to have a proper look around.
if the rest of the property said luxury, then this bathroom screamed it. the light switch that yn flipped had triggered the underglow lights, and the warm yellow they emitted was reflecting off the sleek marble tiles. there was a walk in shower to the left, and a hers-and-his vanity sink across from it. straight ahead was an extravagant whirlpool bathtubāwhich, honestly might be bigger than jeno's bathroom on its ownāand a row of floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the backyard behind it.
"wait here," the girl demanded, "i need to pee." it was then that he noticed the door leading toāwhat he now knew wasāthe toilet. damn, jackson was on a whole other tax bracket than he was. jeno gave her his affirmative and awkwardly stuck his hands in his pockets while she closed the door behind her.
he chewed on his lip as he took in the fine details of the bathroom. his fingers tapped rhythmically against his thighs from their home in his shorts, far too nervous to touch anything. god forbid he broke something, he would have to sell his soul to replace even just the soap dispenser on the counter. literally, that shit looked like it would take his whole paycheck to use a pump of.
just as he was beginning to contemplate his leave (read: getting the fuck outta there), the jeong sister made her reappearance. finally, jeno was starting to sweat. she gave him a tooth-achingly sweet smile, one that left him breathless, and crossed over to wash her hands.
"you okay? you look a little pale," she asked, snapping the boy out of his baffled state as she used the aforementioned luxury hand soap. seriously, who buys dior hand soap? jackson's just flexing at this point...
"aren't i always?" he joked, becoming somewhat relaxed as he watched her lather her hands. she scoffed, "more than usual." he took the time to grin at her, and she returned itāthough hers was more sarcastic.
"just feeling out of place," shrugged the taller of the two. "out of place?" she questioned as she dried her hands using the neatly folded towel nearby. even the damn towels were expensive. they literally had jackson's family name embroidered on them.
he allowed his hands freedom in favor of gesturing around them, and yn followed with her eyes. realization flashed across her face, and she let out a hum in understanding. "yeah... he's a little extra," she laughed, and jeno's eyes almost popped out of his skull from how wide they got.
he huffed, "a little? i didn't even know dior sold soap." his comment made yn giggle as she turned to study the soap. "i mean, he might've been on to something. my hands feel really soft." she held her hands out for him to look at, and he couldn't help but reach out to grab them. for science, of course.
yn watched him run his thumbs over her knuckles, the ghost of his fingerprints sending a soft tingle down her spine. his hands were so much bigger than hers, and the calluses he had from lifting weights scratched her skin deliciously. jesus, who knew hands could be this hot?
feeling a little too weak in the knees, yn flipped the control into her own handsāquite literallyāand turned to hold his hands as she led him further into the room. he followed her lead blindly, not a single thought behind his eyes other than her, because he was too busy admiring the way she looked under the warm lighting. in fact, he didn't know (or care) where she was leading him to, but he was fine with it as long as she kept holding him like that.
it wasn't until her heeled foot bumped into the marble stair of the tub that they tore their attention away from each other. instinctively, jeno's arm wrapped around her waist to keep her from tipping back. yn looked over her shoulder shocked as if she couldn't believe they had gotten there so fast, and turned back to give jeno a shy smile.
"thanks," she breathed, and she stepped to the side to create distance between them. for her safety, of course. totally not because she was struggling to function properly. he seemed to save her reputation by not mentioning it further, something yn was very grateful for, and instead let his hand fall to his side.
"come on," she said, though it came out quieter than she expected it to. he looked puzzled at her request, the same pout he typically wears when something confuses him displayed on his face, but didn't hesitate to reach out to stabilize her wobbling form as she stepped up the stone.
"what-" the word died down on his tounge, the end coming out like a mumble, as he focused on holding herāand himselfāupright. she swung her leg over and down into the slippery white surface, testing her stability before shifting her weight on to that leg. jeno scrunched his nose as he watched her foot wobble on her strappy heel. did she not learn her lesson from last time? he couldn't ask, too busy fearing for her life.
with both feet in the tub, yn looked up to give the dark haired boy a dazzling smile. "care to join me?" she batted her eyes at him, and he found his legs moving to follow her before he could even register it. "join you in doing what exactly?" he asked as if he wasn't already halfway in. shit, she could've asked him to give her his life savings and he'd hand it over (along with his car keys and social security) no questions asked. just as long as she kept giving him those pretty eyes.
"sitting? laying down?" she offered, taking his hands to return the favor in helping him in, "all i know is my feet hurt." he scoffed, his eyes glancing from where he was checking his footing to peek at her toes. (in a not weird way, i just didn't want to use the word foot again and it sounded funny to say toes)
they took turns in sitting down, yn going first before jeno, and they quickly settled into the space. they sat facing each other on opposite sides of the porcelain, with yn sitting down cross-legged as jeno had his legs spread open and bent at the knees. the long haired girl scooted forward an inch, and she leaned over to tap his knee, gesturing for him to stretch out his legs to be more comfortable.
he did so, and yn scooted back until she was caged between his shoes, then leaned back until her arms rested around them. in turn, he reached out to pull her ankles towards him, gentle as he laid them straight. he maneuvered them until they were fully unfurled, and he had to lean back so he wouldn't get stabbed in the eye with her heel. he then crossed her ankles for herāever the gentlemanāto protect her decency, before placing them down on his thigh
"with these," he paused, using his finger to tease the taupe straps around her ankle, "i'm not surprised. to think you would've learned from last time." he chortled while dodging the kick she sent his way, and yn growled while bumping her foot into his side.
"like you have any room to talk." she rolled her eyes, using her elbow to nudge his own choice of footwear, "last i checked converse didn't get invented until after the greeks."
"hey, it's not my fault all the men's sandals were sold out in every store within a 10 mile radius," he protested, eyes squinting at the girl across from him. "at least i wore the brown ones," he added, copying her by poking his foot into the dip of her waist.
"i guess i can appreciate that," she pretended to side eye him while swatting his canvas sneaker, patting the side of it playfully once he dropped it back down. she watched as he settled back with his arms crossed, his eyes closing with a pleased look on his face at her approval. slowly, an evil grin stretched across her lips.
"though i have to say, it's a totally different shade of brown. kinda throws it off, don't you think?" she fought to keep a faux serious look on her face as his eyes shot open. "what, really?" he asked, pushing off the back of the tub to lean forward to inspect his shoes. "yeah, this brown doesn't go too well with beige," she stated matter-of-factly, biting her lip to stifle her amusement in hopes of keeping the bit up.
"no way, it's basically the same shade as the belt!" he exclaimed, tugging at the fabric tied loosely around his hips to compare them. "hmm, i don't know, they look totally different to me. don't guys see less colors than girls do?" she added, leaning in closer to pretend to inspect the colors with him.
"well, yeah. but-" he continued to ramble on about the colors, trying to explain how he "really tried to find a close match" and how "the lighting might make it look lighter than it is". yn let him talk, no longer looking at the fabrics with him, but instead directly at him. his sulky face was even more endearing up close, and yn was sure she looked like a love-struck fool while admiring him.
once he realized yn was no longer responding to him, he looked up to question her, but his words died down in his throat once he saw her looking right at him. "...you're fucking with me, aren't you?" he asked, though it sounded more like a statement. the soft grin she was hiding with her fist widened, her teeth peeking out from behind it, before she collapsed into a fit of laughter.
jeno kissed his teeth as he watched her head roll back, her body jolting with each laugh that escaped her lips. he shook his head with a grin of his own on his pink lips, and he quickly forgot about the fact that she was laughing at his demise. the sound fell on his ears like it was the sweetest song, and it was a laugh he rarely ever heard from her.
it was genuine, the kind that had her squeezing her eyes shut at the pure pressure of it. the kind that came out in silent wheezes when something was too funny, and if he hadn't known that she was more than a little intoxicated, he would've felt a little embarrassed by being the butt of her joke. though, let's be real, he probably wouldn't have cared anyways, just as long as he got to hear it again.
like deja vu, though the roles had been reversed, the long haired girl's laughter died down as his silence registered in her mind. concerned, she pried her eyes open, and blinked away the wateriness that blurred her vision. she grew silentāor was she silenced, who knowsāwhen she found him looking at her with such an overwhelming fondness in his eyes.
he was looking at her the same way he usually does when he thinks she's not looking. his face completely relaxedāwith the exception of his eyes, which were shaped like crescent moons. his beauty mark was a half-centimeter higher than it usually was due to the upturn of his cheeks, but it was so gentle that his skin remained free of any creasesāaside from the little crinkles in the corners of his eyes.
he was looking at her the same way she was beginning to look at him. the realization made yn's heart skip a beat. how is it possible, that a man like lee jeno could harbor feelings for a woman like jeong yn? she wanted to laugh. or cry. maybe both.
it was such a scary sensation, the one that filled her stomach. the butterflies people describe in the telling of their own experiences? yeah no, this was nothing like that. this felt like existential dread. it was a deep pit in her organs that sucked in every nauseating factor in her mind and multiplied it by 10. oddly enough, she wasn't as scared of it as she used to be.
in fact, she found herself pushing those feelings aside to bask in the heavy emotions jeno was sharing with her though his dark irises. admiration? adoration? both, probably. she couldn't quite place her finger on it. the feeling was so foreign to her, something she hasn't allowed herself to feel at an intensity such as this one. it burned through her like fire.
but not the fire she was expecting. the waves of blistering heat that once burned everything it touched were now replaced with a gentle flame. it was low and controlled, flickering with the lightest breeze that brushed past it. it was kind, offering warmth while simultaneously trying to maintain its size. the flame licked her skin only briefly, urging her closer while trying not to hurt her.
this wasn't the love she was scared of. where there was once a forest fire was now a lit scented candle. the harsh scent of burning embers was gone. replacing it was something fresher, like sandalwood and something citrusyābut sweet? maybe nectarines. the erratic behavior was non-existent, all that there was left behind was a lonely flame begging her to take all it has to offer.
what a beautiful thing this fire could be.
god bless the creators of lee jeno, and bless whatever deity out there that decided to share him with her. yn must've been mother teresa in her past life, because she's never done anything great enough in her current life to be granted such a gift. she tried to not be so selfish in this life of hers, but she would never forgive herself if she didn't allow herself to be just this once.
so, with a shaking hand, the girl reached up to rest her palm against his cheek. instinctively, without a second of hesitation, jeno leaned into her touch. he pressed into her with an urgency that left yn with parted lips, as if it was the only cure to the disease he was infected by. like he would regret it if he died without basking in it while he could.
her eyes drunk in the sight of him like he was water, and she was the poor soul bound to the hottest of deserts. god forbid a girl wanted to take the sight of him and memorize it forever. anyone would if they were being looked at like thatāand with a face like that. he was mesmerizing, half lidded eyes that bore into her own like she was the sun the planets revolved around, him being the planets in this scenario. (though she honestly believed it should be the opposite)
and his lips, jesus christ. it was so unfair how men had the prettiest lips. most of them defile them with the bullshit they spew anyways. but not jeno. no, jeno was an angel who could never doālet alone thinkāanything wrong. ever. yn wanted nothing more than to touch his lips every time he pouted that little pout of his.
and so, she did. she pulled her palm back until her fingers were the only thing keeping them connected, softly shushing the boy when he began to whine at the loss of contact. he listened, always so obedient, and his noises died down in his throat when her fingers began to trace his skin.
the skin of his neck shifted as he swallowed the saliva that pooled in his throat, a reaction that came from the delightful way she was worshiping him. the years of yearning from afar suddenly felt worth it, jeno suddenly decided. but he couldn't think about it any harder before his brain went blank once her touch reached his lips.
her hand nudged its way into the dip beneath his jaw, her cold touch meeting his hot skin, and her thumb pushed against the corner of his mouth. his pulse was rapid against her fingers, and she had half-the-mind the wonder if hers was the same. who is she kidding, it definitely is, if not worse.
time was no longer existent in the world these two had disappeared to, and it was possible that neither of them could remember that they were in the bathroom at a halloween party. the sounds of the event were nothing but whispers in the background, ones that never reached them due to the invisible barrier built around them to preserve the moment.
not satisfied with the placement of her finger, yn began to use the tip of it to trace his lips, greedily taking in the sight of the blood-flushed flesh that was being molded beneath her. she made her way from one corner of his mouth to the other until she had covered the entirety of his bottom lip, then did the same with the top.
again, she was selfish. but it was natural for humans to be, no? so heaven forgive her, but she wanted nothing more than to claim the male inches away from her as hers. her thumb found home on his cupids bow, caressing the heart-shaped dip, before dragging it down until it caught on the plush of his lower lip.
his lips parted in response, and his warm breath fanned across her skin. the feeling of it reminded her of just how close he was to her, and she couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine. her eyes bounced back to his eyes, finally noticing that he, too, was staring at her lips.
"please," he whispered, his honey voice carrying the plead straight to her ears. his lips brushed against the pad of her thumb with the syllables he voiced, and she could feel the way his lip wobbled against her. it was such a euphoric feeling to know he wanted her as bad as she wanted him, and the amount of power she felt from having him in the palm of her hand was sinful.
"shhh, baby," she purred, and he whined, whined, at the pet name, "no need to beg." his eyes shined with a prickle of tears, further proof of how hard he was resisting his urges. her other hand found it's way into his hair, sliding down until it was nestled by his nape. he melted into her touch, blissed out beyond belief, but still wanting more. who knew he could be so needy?
but, she also had needs. and right now, there was nothing she needed more than him. his lips pressed firmly into the finger that was stilled over them, and yn's eyes dropped to see immediately. the heat that shot through her was insane, breaking down whatever composure she had remaining that was telling her to take her time with him.
fuck it. there's no better time like the present, right? she leaned closer to him, her nose brushing against his strong one, and his eyes fluttered shut in anticipation. her thumb swiped against his lips one last time before it sought solace on his chin, pulling it down to make space for her lips between his.
just as she began to lean into his space, a loud bang against the door caused her to flinch violently. yn was frightened out of the peace she and jeno had created, the latter seemingly uninterested in whoever was dying at the door. he cried at the loss of her, his hands leaving where they had been gripping at his shorts to reach for the girl.
she grabbed his hand, intertwining his fingers with hers while she watched the door. she was basically chanting pleads for whoever was at the door to go away, slowly getting re-distracted by the whiney jeno all up in her space, but the universe just hates her, i guess.
"yn? are you in there? you're the only one that comes to this bathroom," came none other than bambam's voice. at the sound of one of jackson's friends, yn threw her head back with a groan. that meant it was important, and she couldn't just 'fuck it' and ignore whoever she thought was shitting their pants.
she had to basically pry jeno's hands away from where they were pawing at her legs, begging her not to go, but eventually made it safely out of the tub. her heels clacked angrily with each step she took, and she all but threw open the door.
"what?" she seethed with such an intensity that bambamāand youngjae, who she barely registered was also thereāflinched pathetically. "uh, sorry." he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, "but your brother is looking for you."
by looking for her, bambam meant that jaehyun was currently on a rampage looking for his sister that disappeared from his sight for too long, and was making it everyone's problem. said 'missing' sister slumped against the door with a groan, slapping a hand over her forehead.
"yeah, i'll be right there. just tell him to chill the fuck out." she opened her eyes to find both boys not even looking at her, but instead past her, and she realized just what they were looking at. " he's fine, ignore him," she offered half-assedly, copying them in turning to look at jeno, who had given up on his fight and was now just sending her the saddest puppy dog eyes he could muster, "he's had a lot to drink."
the boys looked convinced enough, and yn felt relieved when they started to go away. she waved them off, and once they disappeared down the hallway, she closed the door and sighed. when she turned back to jeno, the words on her tounge faltered at the tinge of sadness in his eyes.
"hey," she started, making her way back over to him. he looked at her hesitantly, and yn swore she felt her heart ache at the sight, "i'm sorry." she ran her fingers though his hair as an apology, heart breaking at the disappointed look in his eyes.
"it's okay," he shrugged, moving to pick himself up. she offered him her hand as he stepped out of the tub with more ease than she had, but she didn't let go of it when he was back on the tile and tugged away. he looked down at her with a distant look in his eye, and yn sighed.
"i know, but jae gets worried when it's this late," she explained, and jeno's eyes softened, "forgive me?" she asked, and after a few seconds, jeno nodded. "i understand."
yn gave him a gentle smile before leading him to the door. she reached for the handle, but paused. instead of opening it, she turned towards jeno. he met her gaze and froze as she leaned up to press a lingering kiss to the corner of his lips. he remained stunned even after she pulled away, not even noticing the way she laced their fingers together before dragging him out along with her.
he finally regained consciousness once they reached the stairs, and was suddenly reminded of something he wanted to remember earlier. yn, ever the strong and independent woman she was, loved her heels. the problem? she became less than stable when she was drunk. he was filled with anxiety the whole way up to the bathroom (did i mention it was on the third floor?), his heart stopping every time she wobbled on her stiletto.
yn went to take a step down, but was stopped by jeno not moving. confused, she turned back to him. "what's wrong?" she asked, but instead of giving her a response, he moved to get down on one knee in front of her. before she could ask what the fuck he was doing, he tapped her ankle and reached up to guide her hand to his shoulder.
she followed his movements, gripping onto his shoulder tightly when he manhandled her foot to his knee. he worked on undoing the knot on her straps, carefully unwinding the rope all the way down her calves before sliding the shoe off. he set it down next to him before tapping her other foot, gesturing for her to switch. she felt immediate relief when she stepped down, having not realized the ache in her feet from the forced arch until then.
he made quick work of that one too, and once he did he got up and leaned down, motioning for her to climb on his back. "are you sure?" yn asked him, and he gave her a smile from over his shoulder. "i don't work out for nothing." she rolled her eyes, but jumped on his back anyways, yelping when he squatted down with her to retrieve her discarded shoes.
"maybe try not squeezing so tight," he winced, and yn loosened her grip with a roll of her eyes. "give me a warning next time, then." he simply shrugged, jumping to lift her higher on his back, then began to descend the stairs. she was only slightly fearing for her life. she trusted jenoāhe never gave her a reason not toābut the anxiety she had watching his every step was present.
after realizing she was only making it worse by staring, she moved to rest her cheek against his shoulder. her eyes fluttered shut as she slumped against him, thinking a little too hard about how she could feel his warm skin against hers. she moved her arms from his shoulders to instead wrap around his neck, and clasped them together over his chest. and when he tensed for a quick second, she pretended not to notice.
she didn't open her eyes until she noticed he was walking on even ground. she lifted her head to survey the area, and noticed that there were a lot less people than before. the energy of the crowd was dwindling, and people were either looking for their friends to leave, or too drunk to do more than sway along to the music.
"what time is it?" she asked once she leaned closer to jeno's ear. "uh," he triedāand failedāto not visibly react to her lips brushing his ear, "like, 3 maybe?" not as late as she originally thought, but it was a sunday after all. yn leaned back with a hum, turning to examine the living room jeno led them into.
she couldn't find her friends anywhere, and not even johnny was at his dj booth. she could make out some familiar faces, most being people from uni, but not the ones belonging to the idiots she chose to befriend. sighing, she turned down to the dark-haired boy holding her up.
"see anyone?" she asked, but he shook his head at her. "not yet." they continued to look around, jeno slowly cutting through the crowd of people still partying. "wait," he paused, and yn snapped her head to follow the direction he pointed to, "isn't that karina?"
it was, in fact, karina. yn tapped his arm rapidly, "yes, let me down!" he turned to look at her from the corner of his eye. "are you sure?" he questioned, "what about your feet?"
"it's fine, the floor doesn't look that dirty." yn reassured, andāthough unconvincedāhe bent down to let her drop down from his back. with her feet flat on the floor, yn grabbed jeno's wrist to pull him along with her in the direction of karina.
"'rina!" she yelled, and the sophomore spun around at the call of her name. "ynnie," the younger girl gasped, immediately rushing forward to pull her friend into a hug. yn laughed and hugged her back, patting her back tenderly.
"where have you been? jae has everyone looking for you," karina informed the older, who shrugged and looked off to the side, "around." was what she offered. luckily, karina was used to yn's mysterious behavior, and turned her attention to jeno.
"oh, hey jeno." she smiled at the boy, who gave her a friendly smile of his own in return. "hi karina." karina turned back to yn with a wiggle of her brows, and said girl rolled her eyes while leaning forward to shove her lightly. before their conversation could continueāor karina could tease the two furtherāanother figure appeared behind the sophomore.
"karina, i almost lost you," came an unfamiliar voice, and yn tilted her head to peek over her friend's shoulder. "oh, i forgot! yn, this is giselle, our new roommate i was telling you about!" right, yn remembered the younger girl mentioning how she, ningning, and winter finally found another girl to fill the empty bedroom in their apartment.
"it's so nice to meet you! i'm giselle, i've heard so much about you," the pretty red-head dressed in white spoke once she stepped out of karina's shadow. she was gorgeous, with her hair dyed a vibrant shade of red that stuck out against the feathers on her back, and eyes that were expertly enhanced with glittery eyeliner. her skin glowed even though they were in a dark room, and yn would've thought she was a real angel if she believed in their existence.
"hi, nice to meet you, too." yn smiled while offering her hand for a handshake, but giselle used it to pull her into a friendly hug instead. once she pulled back, yn turned to gesture towards the man beside her. "this is-"
"jeno?" giselle cut her off, a surprised edge to her voice. yn, noticing the strange familiarity in the look the girl was giving him, turned to jeno. he looked just as surprised as giselle was, and the tension rising between them was making yn's skin itch.
"giselle, you know jeno?" karinaāwho hadn't read the roomāasked excitedly. the two that had been caught in a weird staring-contest broke their eye contact, both turning away from each other awkwardly.
"oh, yeah. we used to go to high school together," giselle explained, adding a shy smile once she finished speaking. yn found herself trying to dig into jeno's eyes for any reasoning for his strange behavior, but couldn't find anything behind the clouds that had glossed over them. he met her eyes, and snapped out of his shocked state to give her a look she couldn't decipher.
"yeah, sorry, i just wasn't expecting to see you here," he explained sheepishly, and yn noticed how neither of them reached out to greet the other. okay, this was weird. there's no way old classmates were this awkward with each other, right?
just as yn opened her mouth to break the suffocating silence, a familiar voice was heard in the distance calling her name. the group looked over to find the older jeong sibling cupping his hands around his mouth to enhance his voice, and the younger sibling groaned in embarrassment.
"i'm sorry, but i should get to him before he calls the cops again," she apologized to the girls across from her, addressing karina more than giselle, and reached out to wrap her arm around jeno to drag him with her.
"no worries!" karina grinned, doing the same with giselle. "text me when you get home, okay?" yn nodded with a smile of her own, pretending not to notice the way giselle's eyes lingered on the contact she was sharing with the man beside her. "c'mon 'selle, i want you to meet yujin next."
before the red-head could get a word in, karina was dragging her off to god-knows-where by their linked elbows. yn watched until them until they disappeared, not daring to see if jeno was doing the same. if he was, well, that was something she simply didn't have the strength to face after everything that unfolded that night.
"yn!" the girl flinched at the call of her name, fully expecting to find jaehyun behind her. oh wait, no, it's just jihyo. thank god. "hyo, thank god. do you have my phone?" jihyo nodded and pulled the device out of her pocket.
"here." she slid the purple phone into yn's waiting hand, and yn let out a sigh of relief, "thanks." unlocking her phone, the long-haired girl quickly sent her brother a text. it read "i'm heading out to the car, please stfu", though it was worded in a way that would have the pope shaking in his boots. (not francis, we stanned him)
a few seconds later, the shouts of her name stopped, and a text bubble popped up on her screen. she locked her phone and picked up her head to address the other two.
"come on, i fear that brother dearest is declaring this party over for me." her voice dripped sarcasm, and the laugh jeno let out made her finally look at him again. 'there we go,' she thought, because honestly, he looked so much prettier when he was looking only at her. (wow, possessive much?)
a few moments later, and they were now following jihyoāwho was on the phone trying to convince ten to leave johnny to go home. and by 'they' i mean jeno and yn, the latter having been scooped up into the prior's beefy arms. princess style. again.
"i'm starting to think you like to show off," yn inquired, and jeno shrugged. "no comment," he smirked, adjusting her in his grip until she was pressed closer than before. yn rolled her eyes with a scoff, but didn't even try to hide when she snuggled back.
jeno continued to carry her even as they waited for jaehyun to pull around in his truck. jihyo seemed too roughed-up to comment on it, and instead began ranting about the night she had to the duo. by the end of it, jihyo felt way better, and thanked the two for listening.
they were then joined not only by ten, the cause of jihyo's headache, but by jeno's headaches, too. (and you already know they were all yn's headaches too)
"speak of the devil," yn said while peeking over jeno's shoulder, causing him and jihyo to turn around. jihyo groaned at the sight of them, turning back around with the roll of her head on her shouldersāan attempt to relieve some tension.
yn was honestly shocked to see jisung standing on his own two feet, but the two responsible figures beside him (mark and renjun) seemed to explain his less-fucked self. haechan and chenle were loudly discussing something, the trickles of their conversations being picked up by her ears as they grew near, and looked more than happy.
another who looked ultimately pleased with himself was none other than na jaemin, who looked like a drugged-up version of the girl from the childhood story 'a bad case of the stripes'. seriously, the man was covered in paint, the familiar neon colors now just a canvas for the other shades smeared all over himāmostly in places that only told how much of a freak he was.
he perked up when he saw them standing there, and immediately jogged the rest of the way to him. before yn could even point out the suspicious splotches of blue and white around his mouth (from a certain couple dressed as jack and sally, perhaps?), jaemin addressed jeno.
"dude, guess who was here." jeno looked like he wanted to reach out and slap his hand over his best friend's mouth, "wai-"
"your ex." what. yn's heart stopped, and she felt frozen as she processed the words. "who's ex?" asked a clueless chenle, wanting in on the drama. "jeno's ex, you know, from high school?" jaemin gestured with his headāand handsāand the rest of the people that made up their little circle were now tuned in.
yn stiffened up. ex from high school.
the words echoed in her mind: "we used to go to high school together."
well, that explains it. the awkward glances, the surprise at seeing each other, the thick tension. god, yn felt sick.
"no way, giselle is here?" mark asked, and his eyebrows were basically touching his hairline from how high they were raised. yn's stomach churned at her suspicions being confirmed. "yeah," jaemin stated.
"but, i thought she went to study in japan?" jisung asked, looking more confused than ever. jeno looked like he wanted nothing more than to tell them to "shut the fuck up". before he could, though, he was interrupted. again.
"she did, didn't she?" renjun turned to look at jeno, but jaemin was quick to steal the attention away. "yeah, that why they broke up. i also went to that school, remember?" he stated matter-of-factlyāwhich, to be fair, he did have the facts.
"you sure it was her though? maybe it was just someone who looked like her." mark didn't seem so convinced, his eyes switching between jeno and jaemin like he was trying to decipher them. "uh, yeah. i might be intoxicated, but i know exactly who i'm looking at when i'm drunk," jaemin said in a 'duh' tone.
chenle laughed, "yeah, sure man." to say jaemin took offense to that was an understatement. "dude, i'm being so serious right now," he insisted, meeting eyes with everyone to show just how serious he was. "i passed by her, she was walking a girl-"
"karina." yn's voice cut through the air like a knife, and the boys seemed to realize she was thereāand listening to themāfor the first time since they got there. the silence fell over them as they each looked at her with varying looks, all of them some variation of worry.
"karina introduced us. giselle's her new roommate." the way she spoke seemed to solidify the fact that yes, giselle was at the party, and yes, she was probably back in town from japan.
jeno went to speak, but was interrupted for the umpteenth time. the sound of jaehyun's truck coming from around the corner stole everyone's attention, and yn was relieved for the timing of her brotherāfor once his useless ass was good for something. his headlights blinded the group momentarily, and yn took the chance to tap jeno's arm.
hesitantlyālike he was scared that letting her down meant losing herājeno lowered her legs down until she could reach the ground on her own. she let go of him like she was being burnt from touching him, and she immediately took a few steps back to create distance. why? she's not sure. all she knows is that it felt illegal being so close to him.
their friends all watched the exchange happen with worry in their eyes. being friends with yn meant that they were able to tell when she was upset. actually, just being around yn in general (haechan would know). and right now, she didn't look like much of a happy camper.
jeno held out her shoes for her to grabāas a peace offeringāand yn avoided looking at him while she reached out for them. she snatched them back at such an intense speed that it made the motion look blurry, and it you blinked you would have missed it.
"thanks," she muttered, already beginning to spin around to bound for the truck. acting fast, jeno reached out to catch her arm.
"yn," he uttered. he lowered his voice like he wasn't trying to draw attention to the two, which was useless when everyone was already watching.
"jeno," she copied, plastering a fake smile on her face. his face twisted for a second at the sight of her smile, confusion turning into suspicion once he realized that it wasn't honest. he opened his mouth to speak again, but yn cut him off by taking a hold of the hand that was wrapped around her elbow.
"i'll see you later, 'kay?" she tilted her head at him in a way that made her look innocent, and jeno blinked at the change. for extra measure, she batted her eyelashes at him.
"oh okay," he mumbled, stuck in a daze from the expert manipulation he received. she took his distracted state as an opportunity to slip out of his grasp.
"we'll see you guys later," she announced once she turned to the boys, "text me once everyone's home." a chorus of 'okay'sāand one 'yes ma'am' from haechanāfollowed her as she made her way to jihyo and ten. she grabbed them by the arms, ignoring the looks they were giving her, and led them to where jae's truck was parked and waiting.
she opened the back door, and while waiting for the two to climb in, she snuck a quick glance over her shoulder. the boys were waving at them, and yuta had lowered his window to wave back. (well, the ones he knew) (mostly mark)
she made the mistake of letting her eyes wander to jeno, because her heart ached looking at him. he was still standing in the spot she left him at, but his face was angled in her direction. thankfully, she was covered by the door, so he wouldn't be able to see her looking back at him through the tinted glass.
"come on," jihyo called out softly. yn turned to climb up into the vehicle, pretending not to notice the sympathy in her best friend's eyes. of course jihyo knew what she was feeling. she always had a knack for knowing yn's emotions better than yn herself.
she closed the door once she was fully in, dropping her heels and phone into her lap in favor of putting on her seat belt. she found herself stuck on jeno as she did so, and she let her mind wander into the thoughts that she had been conjuring up in the past 20 minutes.
she didn't notice jaehyun turning to look at her, nor did she hear when he addressed her. she didn't even notice the looks the others had exchanged while they glanced at her. in fact, minutes had passed before she finally realized they had taken off and were halfway into the city already. there was no more jeno to look at, but she continued to inspect the same spot anyways.
ignoring the things happening around her was yn's specialty. admitting that meeting jeno's ex affected her more than she wished it would? nope, not happening. in fact, she was just going to ignore those feelings altogether. its not like she was going to be seeing much of her anyways, right?
song of the chapter (cause yn technically doesnāt have her phone in this lol)
tracklist prev ā¶ļø ā¢įį||į|į||||įāāāāāį|ā¢ 0:10 next
a/n: this took me so long to write, and might be the longest thing i've written. (not including multishots) i also am stubborn and refuse to use ai to revise, so that's why it took even longer š
yujin, karina's secret crush: yujin is karina's hallway crush from freshman year, who she accidentally manifested into becoming her friend. (her manifestations only get her so far) they ended up being assigned to work on a project together and became friends after. karina is convinced she's over her crush, but she's really not fooling anyone.
winter and ningning, karina's roomies: the three girls live in a four bedroom apartment off campus. they met through twitter when karina tweeted that she was looking for roomies to fill her apartment. they got along right away, and firmly believe they have really good "roomie chem". they never found a fourth for their empty room, until karina got a dm asking if it was still open a month ago.
giselle, the pretty ex: yn had never thought about the possibility of jeno having exes. but here we are. she just so happens to be ncu's latest transfer, and karina's new roomie. yn's first impression was that she was stunning, a perfect match for the roomies. her second impression? well, that's still out for the counsel to decide.
a quick update (and reason for disappearance): one of the main reasons i took some time off from writing is because i've been dealing with some things irl. a close relative of mine has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. and, if you've read this chapter, you would know that one of the side plots has to do with loss to cancer. because of this (and also a past with losing family members to terminal illness) i was finding it hard to write.
in fact, i had to delete a good chunk and restart because i was struggling to write more details about yn's mom. it was bringing up past and current memories that weren't the best to relive. i'm sorry for taking that part out, because it was going to deepen jeno and yn's relationship, as well as explain some things about yn. alas, i had to prioritize my mental health.
anyways, i hope you enjoyed this monstrosity <3 lmk what you guys think, i always look forward to comments š
taglist! comment and ill add you to it <3: @kukkurookkoo @nosungluv @hoeingthefuckup @dilflover44 @alwayswonbinning @jaellymint @n0hyuck @mwrsi @awktwurtle @haechology @tyongspice1 @t-102 @lvsdoyo @jae-n0 @ne0sgotmyback @neozon3nha @minkyuncutie @httpsxnox @bbykaixx @urlocalbeaner5 @wdwbts101 @heavenjae @markiesfatbooty @xlvyt @purezitas @kswluvrr if i couldnāt tag, iām sorry š)
