hey everyone, i know i’ve been silent for a really long time and i’m sorry but i’ve been going through something recently and it’s been rough trying to pull out of it.
I didn’t plan on posting this because I didn’t know if I was ready to but with it being suicide awareness month, i thought it wouldn’t hurt to be honest.
A couple weeks ago a friend of mine decided to take his own life. It wasn’t the most shocking thing because he had been struggling with depression for a really long time and has attempted before, but this time he went through. The worst part is that he did it in front of his girlfriend.
I’m not one to talk about personal things with strangers but this has been taking a toll on my mental health and physical health. I’ve been sacrificing sleep to spend time with his girlfriend, trying in any ways possible to keep her distracted and not thinking about everything. It’s been very difficult and a lot of my friends who knew him are struggling now as well.
Suicide is not a funny thing and I’d like to think most people would agree. It’s not uncommon anymore to know someone who struggles with urges and thoughts. It’s so great how far we have come as a society that these things are easier to talk about and have not been deemed “crazy” but we still have a long way to go.
As someone who has now lost two friends to suicide, my own mental health is something i strive to keep under control but also a topic to not be afraid of. I’m very vocal with my own friends and family about it, but i’ve had to come out of my shell a little bit more recently.
my heart goes out to my friends girlfriend and family. i can’t imagine the pain their in because i know i only feel a sliver of what they do. Suicide is something terrible and i hope no one ever has to experience, witness, or attempt themselves. i’ll be back soon, i’m still trying to cope but it’s very hard.
i love you all and every one of you is so important 💜
Summary: After never having the nerve to tell each other how you feel, an opportunity presents itself even if it takes a little work.
Requested by Anonymous: Hi! Since your requests are on. Can you write a fluff/angst dean and reader fic, they both have feelings for each other and they’re too insecure to admit it. And dean flirts with another girl and introduces her to the reader, reader acts like she’s fine but then cries??
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: angst, flirting, mild heartbreak, jealousy, arguing, little bit of swearing, fluff, kissing
July, 2005
The day was breezy and warm, the clouds having lessened the heat that came with being in the midst of the summer season. Even if the clouds did nothing to stave off the effect of the sun you’d like to believe it actually had been, and you refused to think otherwise or else you just might break another sweat. You were tucked away in the middle of Bobby’s property amongst a lot full of cars ranging from totaled to rusty to salvageable should he feel like getting his hands dirty that day. He didn’t.
Summary: Dean is struck blind by a witches’ curse, and it’s up to the reader to look after him while Sam is gone to try and find a cure. The reader has to overcome her shy nature and feels she’s hiding from Dean in order to make him feel better.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Warnings: Blindness, witches, spell work, language, Smut, unprotected smut, Oral, (female receiving), shy reader, insecure reader, not so healthy mental dialog maybe? I think that’s it. Oh, and Angst, because it’s me.
Dividers By: @firefly-graphics
A/N: This little mini series is completely non beta’d, so all mistakes are my own! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! This series is also posting about two days ahead on Patreon! So if you’re having trouble waiting, check me out over there!!!
A/N 2: I’ll tag all tags after the series is complete!
Warnings: fluff, smut (sexting, mutual masturbation, mentions of boner, implied sex), language
*italics are text, bold is Dean’s POV*
You hate when the boys go on a hunt without you. Sure, you got hurt on the last hunt and they didn’t want to risk anything, but you could still help them research. But, here you are in the bunker by yourself to deal with loneliness and boredom. A Lord of the Ring marathon is fun, but you can’t watch all three for four days in a row (or even admit you watched it once because Dean will call you a nerd).
Getting off the couch from watching the last Indiana Jones movie, you move to the kitchen and get some popcorn. The microwave seems to take forever, but you reevaluate what forever is because it also feels like the brothers have been gone forever. A week is a long time to go and you still have three days until they’re supposed to come home. Chuck willing that it doesn’t take longer than they assume.
You plop back down on the couch and start up the movie again. Right before you start to doze off, you spot your phone lighting up on the side table next to you. You stretch around and grab the phone. There’s a text from Dean and you pray that it isn’t a ‘case went wrong, Sam died’ or a ‘gonna be another three days’ text.
Hey sweetheart, miss you ❤
You can’t help but smile at the text. There’s something between you and Dean, but you’ve never talked about it before. A couple side glances and longing touches here and there. What started as a post nightmare cuddle turned into you two regularly sharing beds and snuggling together. Some days you hope there will be more between the two of you, but Dean is a ladies' man so you don’t keep your hopes too high.
Miss you guys too! Tell me you’ll be home quick?
Deans pov:
Laying in the motel bed, Dean looks over to his phone seeing that you answered him quickly. He smiles at the text, but there’s a little pain in his heart seeing that you said you missed them both. Dean wishes some days he’d be your only concern, the one you wait up at night for, not them both. He wants you to be all his, but he’ll survive without that a little longer until he gets the guts to ask you out.
Probably not, sorry. I wish we could get home quicker
Damn, I need more cuddles
Dean chuckles at your text. You’re so adorable and needy. Needy for him. Sure, he could lie and say that only made him happy, but the hardened member in his pants would disagree. It definitely affects more than just his mood. He adjusts his boner before Sam comes out of the shower.
Me too, sweetheart. They’ll be the best cuddle ever.
Promise?
Of course. I’ll even throw in a back massage while I’m at it
He can’t even begin to describe how much he wants to hold you again. Dean feels this sort of empty feeling when your body isn’t next to him and it was so much worse when you aren’t even around him physically. He misses the warmth from your body when he holds you against his chest or when you set your head and hand on him when asleep.
Dean closes his eyes for a moment and imagines you’re back next to him. He falls asleep, dreaming of reuniting with you after these four long days. You jump in his arms and he carries you off to the fortress of Deanitude, falling asleep with one another. His body craves yours to be by him again
Your pov:
You wake up the next morning to a good morning text from both of the boys. The TV is frozen on the credits of the Indiana Jones movie where you paused it before passing out. You lift yourself up on the couch and yawn.
Getting up for the day, you shower and make yourself some breakfast. A thousand thoughts run through your head about what you’re going to do today, Whether you sit around again, or go for a walk, or a supply run. Settling on a walk, you end up strolling around in the forests outside of the bunker and reading under a tree. It turns out to be one of the most relaxing days you’ve had in years.
You love hunting but going on them back to back can be exhausting. Injury after injury. Loss after loss. It’s hard to keep your head high and remember who you’ve saved when all you can do is name everyone you’ve lost. Days like these are so good to settle your mind, relax, and gather yourself. It’s needed, very needed.
You head back to the bunker and make yourself a sandwich for lunch before continuing your long movie marathon. Not even ten minutes in, you see five missed texts from Dean.
Morning sweetheart
How did you sleep?
This girl at the diner hit on Sam and he was so embarrassed. Wish you were to here to see it
Y/N?
Darling, you okay?
Shit, sorry Dean. I was out and didn’t grab my phone. I’m alright and slept wonderful. Wish I could have seen it, too. Haha
Okay, good. You can’t go and scare me like that
Sorry, lol. Didn’t mean to, I swear.
I know, sweetheart. I just care about you
Awww, sap
Don’t tell Sam
I’m gonna
Y/N, I swear to chuck if you do
SAM
Now you’re being ridiculous
Shut up, you love me
Yeah, yeah alright. I’m so ending you when I get back
I thought you were giving me a massage?
Not anymore brat
You chuckle at Dean’s texts, fully knowing the voice he’d use if this were a real conversation happening. His teasing makes you miss him even more. There’s little butterflies in your stomach. How can he do that? How can he just make you feel like a little school girl?
Deans pov:
“Dude, shut up.”
“Sam, come on,” Dean laughs hard, “You should have seen your face. You looked so pathetic.”
Sam rolls his eyes at Dean. He knows he doesn’t get a ton of action (attention is not something he lacks), but his brother’s teasing is worse.
“I’m not used to girls hitting on me like that.”
“Oh, it’s obvious. You gotta get a girl, man.”
“Yeah? How about when I go on a date with someone, you yell Y/N how you feel?”
Sam has a wide grin on his face knowing that’s something Dean will never do and something they’ve never discussed. Dean’s face turns bright red at the mention of his feelings for you. He’s never talked about it with Sam because he feels like it’s nothing he’s had to talk about, but he’s not surprised Sam has noticed. He’s not subtle with you, so much so that even Jodi noticed the first time she had met you. Dean’s more shocked that you haven’t noticed or you have and he’s the one who’s oblivious.
“Don’t bring her into this,” Dean snarks.
“Seriously, Dean. You should tell her.”
“No, I don’t think I will.”
“Why not? What are you afraid of?”
“Losing her.”
“Mhmm, okay. I’m just saying you won’t, so go do it.”
Dean tunes out the advice from Sam and turns his attention back to his phone where you answered him.
I am not a brat
Oh, you so are
Dean plops down on the couch in the motel as Sam gets back to doing research on his lap top, ignoring Dean’s attention on you now.
No
Yes
No
Y/N…
I’m not!
Alright, whatever you say
Dean chuckles at your stubbornness. He finds it so adorable.
Dean, I miss you
There he goes getting hard again at such innocent words. You’re not teasing him, but the mere thought of you missing him gets him riled up. Are you thinking about him? Do you think about him even when he is around? What kind of thoughts float in that pretty brain of yours? Are they innocent or dirty?
I miss you, too sweetheart. Can’t wait to hold you
Need you
The sudden turn of words makes him even harder. You need him. How? Do you need him next to her or in her?
Need you, too
Hopefully his words made her happy and he’s praying on the inside that you’ll elaborate more.
You do?
Shit, too vague.
Yeah, I do
How?
I need you next to me, to hold
I miss that so much. I can’t wait to sleep with you.
Sleep with me?
Not like that, dirty boy.
You sure? Maybe all this loneliness has worked you up.
Your pov:
What is Dean’s game here? You sent him a vaguely dirty text to joke around and now he’s talking about sleeping together. The two of you have never been this outright suggests with each other. He’s made comments here or there as a joke, but he seems serious. You can’t deny that it has you feeling a way, though. The butterflies move from your stomach lower.
I mean, the loneliness has had affected me, not like that though
For a moment I thought you were really missing me
You don’t know how to respond. You’re afraid that if you say anything more you’ll incriminate yourself and reveal too much to Dean. That’s the last thing you need right now. The anxiety of having to talk about this conversation is too strong and you want to avoid having to do that when he gets back.
Cat got your tongue? Or is something else on your mind?
Just tired
Mhmm okay
I am!
Tell me the truth, Y/N
You hover over the keys on your phone not knowing if you should or not. You’ve already exposed yourself a little too much with not responding and Dean has picked up on that.
Baby…
Now he’s just being rude.
I miss you, that’s the truth
Somehow I don’t believe you
But…
Tell. Me. The. Truth.
He’s cornering you now. He knows what’s really going on through your mind, but he just wants to tease you. There’s no doubt that he doesn’t need you to say that, but he’s going to make you.
I’m thinking about being next you, maybe kissing you
Good girl. Anything more?
No
Nothing like me touching you? Maybe in you?
Dean
Yes, sweetheart
I need you here
Yeah? What do you need from me?
I need you to kiss me and hold me.
Mhmm, and I need to feel that little pussy of yours, darling.
I want that so bad.
What are you doing?
At this point, you’re soaking wet in your panties and are ignoring your sandwich. Your breath has hitched and your panting like a dog, having been aroused by Dean’s texts. That son of a bitch really does know how to talk to a woman. No wonder he has girls falling over him every day.
Nothing
Somehow, I don’t believe you
Even his snark translates over text… bitch.
I hope you’re touching yourself, Y/N, thinking about me
Well, I am now
Your hand makes it’s way down, starting your own orgasm journey. You feel your body heat up at the sudden contact, but you quickly forget it as the knot forms in your stomach. The thought of Dean being here does just enough for you to start, but you need more.
Good girl, whatcha thinking about?
Deans pov:
His hand is wrapped hard around his cock in the bathroom. Seated on the toilet with the lid down, he chases his own orgasm. An image of you masturbating to him pops in his head and his body physically reacts. Dean finds himself sweating and getting hot at the idea, wishing he were by you so bad, knowing it could be more than just jerking off in a motel bathroom.
He looks bad down at his phone to see your text.
You fucking me hard
Shit. Just your words work him up and he wishes he could fulfill your fantasies. He strokes his cock faster, trying to imagine your tight cunt around his dick. His mouth starts to water.
God, sweetheart. I want that so bad
Dean, I want you home
Me, too. I want to buried inside that pussy right now
Her begging and longing only makes Dean harder. He didn’t think he could get this aroused over text, but there’s a first time to everything. He keeps stroking his cock before feeling the knot get tighter and tighter, needing the release
Sweetheart, are you close?
Yes
I want you to cum for me. Imagine you’re cumming all over my cock
There’s a moment where Dean and you ignore your phones as you work on your orgasm. Dean’s tight core becomes overwhelming and he lets go, cuming all over his member and hand. He grits his teeth together at the release, feeling a sudden burst of relief. He wipes himself up and looks over to his phone where you had texted him two more times.
I have a one shot coming out later today, but I also am posting a preview for a future upcoming series. I would love it if you guys checked it out and leave some feedback on it.
Summary: Dean finds a girl at a bar who’s better at pool than him.
Word Count: 1059
Warnings: swearing, flustered Dean, mentions of hooking up
“I say we hit a bar,” Dean suggests.
“We’ve been on hunts back to back for the last two weeks. I don’t want to go to some sleazy bar with you looking for women.”
“Come on, Sammy. It’ll be relaxing! We can drink some beers, look at pretty women, and then get our anger back at their places. Trust me.”
Sam rolls his eyes at his older brother, knowing that he’s going to drive them to a bar no matter how much he disagrees. Downsides of being a shotgun. They roll up to some run down, middle of nowhere bar. Dean saunters in with the confidence he usually had… aka ‘I’m hot shit” attitude. Sam immediately retreats to a booth in the corner of the bar where a waitress comes and takes his order. He doesn’t miss his brother going up to the bar and flirting with the bartender, getting his normal beers then coming back.
“Get her number already?” Sam teases.
“Shut up.” Dean says, giving him the stink eye.
Sam raises his eyebrows at his brother’s sudden change of mood before he sees Dean lift up a napkin with the bartender’s number on it.
“How dare you underestimate me?”
“How did you get that so quick?”
“A magician never reveals his secrets.”
Dean smirks and takes a swig of his beer before the waitress comes back with the drink Sam had ordered. The two brothers sit in the booth for a little while, talking about the last hunts they went on, any plans for the next days while they rest. They don’t pay attention to anyone else in the bar for awhile until the door swings open and the men in the bar cheer. Turning to the door, the Winchesters spot a girl walking in the bar being high fived by the other men and hugged.
“Wonder what her deal is,” Sam mutters.
There’s no response from the older brother as he continues to stare at the girl. Sam does a double take, looking at Dean and realizing his fatuation.
“Dude, really?”
Dean doesn’t answer again as he goes to take a drink of his beer, but because he’s not paying attention to the placement of his hand, he accidentally spills all over himself. He’s snapped back into reality as he tries to soak up the beer with the napkin the bartender had written on. Sam watches in amusement as his brother embarasses himself.
“Wow, you are rough,” he teases.
“Shut it, look. She’s beautiful.”
Sam looks back over to the girl and smiles, “Yeah, she is.”
The girl hops up on the barstools and orders a drink from the friendly bartender. She talks with the guys beside her who crowded around her as she entered. The boys miss the waitress coming back with their food as they watch.
“Here are your double cheeseburgers with extra bacon,” she says, “anything else?”
“Uh yeah, who is that girl?” Dean asks, pointing over to her.
“Oh, that’s Y/N L/N. She’s a fan favorite with the regulars here. A lot of them worked with her dad and watched her grow up. It’s a small town, you know. They all practically worship her and it’s hard not to. She’s like a little sister to all of them. She’s great.”
“Huh, thank you,” Sam chuckles.
“No problem, sweet thing.”
The waitress leaves the boys to fawn over the girl once more. They eat their food, but their eyes don’t leave her. Her energy is magnetic and Dean can feel himself getting pulled towards her, but based on the waitresses description, going over to her and flirting would be a suicide mission.
They almost leave the bar when Dean watches the girl go over to the pool table and take a cue stick, getting ready to play a game. He overhears her asking the men who want to play, but none of them do. Shrugging, she takes the ball rack and sets up a game. Dean decides to make a move.
“I’ll play with you.”
Sam chuckles and sits down, knowing this might be a quick game, but hoping to see his brother stumble over his words and fail at flirting with her. The men at the bar all laugh. Dean makes himself obvious as a stranger, they all think, unknowingly starting a challenge with the girl.
“Okay,” she smiles.
Dean grabs a cue stick and gets ready. He lets her break the pool balls and she immediately pockets a stripe.
“Looks like your solids,” she chuckles.
She continues to pocket the next couple of balls she hits, leaving her with two when she finally messes up her turn. Dean is shocked to see this girl’s skills, realizing he found himself a proper match. He pockets his next couple of balls, before being left with just the 8 ball. He backs up to let Y/N take her turn who finishes off her line up.
Dean watches in awe as she beats him in the game. She looks at him with a smug smirk, patting herself on her back for handing his ass to him.
“Well, stranger, you put up a good game,” she laughs.
“You do, too. I’ve never met someone who plays as well as you do.”
“Why thank you. I’m Y/N,” she sticks her hand out for Dean to shake.
“Dean.”
“Well, Dean, hopefully I’ll see you around?”
“Probably not, sweetheart. My brother and I were just passing through town. We’re leaving in the morning.”
“That’s a shame because I’d love to keep playing with you.”
“Feeling is mutual.”
“Actually-”
Y/N turns around and goes over to the bar. Dean isn’t able to see what she is doing and turns back to Sam in confusion, who just shrugs at him. The men at the bar are giving Dean the death glare as he stands waiting for Y/N.
“Here,” she says, coming back with a napkin, “it’s my number. If you’re ever around, call me and we should play again.”
“I will, thank you. It was nice meeting you.”
“Nice meeting you too, Dean.”
Dean smiles at the girl before setting his cue stick down, grabbing Sam, and heading out of the bar. He can’t help but smile like a kid as he puts her number in his phone, ignoring the teasing coming from his brother.
So I’m going to start writing SPN fan fiction on here, so here’s a little PSA.
This is my secondary account. My primary is @loving-all-for-loki so I will not be able to reply to comments on here under this name, so if you see a reply under Loving All For Loki, don’t be confused.
Second, this really is fun for me and I want to keep it fun, so I will not have a posting schedule. Don’t be surprised if I don’t post for a couple of days or if I spam post.
Third, I write for almost any character, so if you have a request, no matter the character, go one and send it. I will write about almost anything and I mean anything (A/B/O, Dark fics, au, siblings, tropes, whatever), so again, send any kind of request you want.
I want to thank anyone for supporting me on my @loving-all-for-loki page, I really enjoy writing Marvel and wanted to write SPN, too, but keep that page for Marvel only.
Imagine your fiance, Dean, finding out you met his other self from another world and got way too close with him, only to feel jealous.
“Oh and-” Dean, well Dean from another world, paused in his steps, smile turning more into a smirk on his face as he turned to face his counterpart “Congratulations.”
“On?” Dean frowned. Despite having gotten the best of wishes many times only a couple months ago, his mind seemed to black out when it came from someone who he barely, if he could say so, for a couple of days and who where it counted was him.
“The engagement. With (Y/n). She came back from the hunt while we were uh pretending to be you.” his counterpart grinned a bit more as as Dean breathed out a small “Oh” and his shoulders relaxed, that is until the next words were heard “Double congratulations on that, she’s a real keeper. Got yourself a really sweet thing going on. That’s what I call a lucky man.”
“Oh?” he asked instead this time, muscles more tense and eyebrow raised. If he knew himself well enough, and he really did, then he was almost entirely sure he knew where this was heading tow-
“Does she always walk around in your room like that after a shower?” he asked, verifying every thought currently goingon through Dean’s mind; making his entire body tense up and his jaw clench.
“What?” he asked, voice gruff and face blank dangerously so. If he wasn’t fully into Alpha mode yet, and he did try his best to hold it back because you’d always insisted there was no use for it, then his other self was seriously pushing for it; especially with his following words.
“Oh it’s not like I tried to look. No, of course not, it’s just that-” a small laugh “I walked in to tell her who we really were, as when she came in we first didn’t know how to react – we acted like you. But I more like walked in on her, it’s not like I really meant for it to happen.”
“What?” Dean insisted, eyes hardening even more. The other Dean’s smile, if it was awkward before, it now faded.
“I mean, really lucky you, she’d a great kisser too so-”
“What?” it came out as a hiss and it made the other man’s eyes widen a bit as he continued to scramble to find the right words.
“Not intentional on my part, I swear. Not that, you know, I wouldn’t want that but- but” he cleared his throat “I wanted to tell her who we were is all. And with all the kissing, you kinda lose all track of your thoughts when she does that thing with-” his eyes widened even more and he hurried to add “I tried to tell her that I wasn’t you but uhm between finding it hard to speak with her lips on me and her saying something about roleplaying, I- I got- I tried! And I succeeded, I told her the truth. After… a few seconds. A good few seconds. Minutes maybe? We… uhm.” he cleared his throat when Dean'sglare didn’t seem to face and all the words died in his lips when he looked at it “So now she knows. Again… congratulations!”
The smile he concluded with was weak just as his words but that too soon faded into the expression of horror on his face when Dean took a step forward.
“And that’s us. We’re leaving, bye!” he started pushing his brother who protested “Give…” he paused for only half a second “Give (Y/n) my congratulations!” he said that so fast before he ran up the stairs that Dean couldn’t catch him.
Summary: Bobby asks his mechanic to take care of his goddaughter…
Request: Can I have a bratty reader and Dean? Maybe he loses it and punishes her with hot smut or something.
Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Reader
Characters: Bobby Singer
Warnings: angst, language, arguments, the reader being a brat, smut, unprotected sex, spanking, dirty talk, calling names, creampie, cock-warming, somnophilia
Part ¼
“Just for one night, Dean. I don’t want to leave Y/N alone again.” Bobby sighs deeply as he can see the frown form on his best mechanics and future partners’ face.
“For me, Dean. I promise to pay you more this month. Just make sure she stays at my house.”
“Why me, Bobby? I had a date with Lisa, no Lizzie…shit. Forgot her name…” Grunting Dean looks at Bobby who hands him the keys to his house.
“Order food she likes. I got soft drinks, sweets, and fruits. Do not anger that girl, she turns into a little devil if you let her. With me, she won’t try anything, but Y/N tries to test the boundaries with other people.” Dean huffs, not knowing why Bobby warns him.
“I will not let a little girl walk all over me.” A smug grin on his lips Bobby nods, even snickers before he leaves the house. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, boy. Just keep an eye on her, or both…if you can…” Bobby is gone before Dean can give him a snarky comment. His eyes drift toward the couch and he sighs deeply when he falls onto the old furniture.
Summary: When Sam marries into Y/N’s family he naively believes she’s a little princess incapable of putting a step wrong. But once he comes face to face with evidence that proves she’s far from angelic which also implicates his own brother in her misdeeds, Sam finds himself battling against his own moral judgement.
Characters: Step Dad!Sam x Step Daughter!Reader, Uncle!Dean x Niece!Reader. OMC Bobby, OFC Audrey and a handful of other original characters, unnamed and otherwise.
Words: 51K+
Warnings: stepfather/stepdaughter relationship, step uncle/step niece relationship, cheating, oral sex (male and female receiving), sexting, rough sex, major degradation, dirty talk, female masturbation, daddy kink, size kink, cheesy double entendres, Dean’s filthy whore mouth, consensual amateur pornography, thigh riding, cockwarming, multiple orgasms, voyeurism, threesomes, face/throat fucking, overstimulation, dom/sub themes, Sammy being an absolute deviant, cream pies, sloppy seconds, cum eating, spit-roasting, a little angst, mentions of grooming, mentions of rape. Assume all tags will apply to every chapter. Warnings are in places for a reason.
Betas: @negans-lucille-tblr and @mummybear (prologue to chapter thirteen) and @deanwanddamons (chapter fourteen to epilogue), but all the general bullshit is entirely mine. While likes are gold, feedback is golden. Masterlists can be found in my pinned post.
