Real talk for a moment.
This pandemic really revealed how much of a loner I actually am. It’s hard enough that some of my close friends moved away, but even harder when I do reach out to people and they just don’t respond.
And with social distancing, staying at home, and in person corporate worship gone (all online) that makes it even more isolating.
I’m not trying to start anything. I’m not against wearing masks, social distancing, keeping safe, and washing hands either.
I’m just realizing how lonely it is. And maybe it took a lot longer to let it sink in for me, because I’m such an introvert. But even introverts need that human interaction too.
I’m ranting and don’t have a resolution to this post. Carry on. Keep scrolling.
Come to think of it, yes, I am also a lonely introvert.
(I also won't start anything. I just want to share and rant as well.)
I tend to avoid people, social gatherings and unnecessary interactions. I don't like unneccessary inquiries/ questions. If I don't like it, I will avoid it.
(It is funny when I come to reminisce about having that one role to knock on the instructor's room but I have someone else who will do the talking.)
My close friends are already far away. We try to reconnect but sometimes, some things are out of reach.
Maybe, I should have join those 'fast-food-eat-out-invites'. Maybe I should have been a better person. (All those maybes and what ifs.)
Because although I enjoy the times I spent alone, being lonely is different. Different thoughts start to eat me up alive.
Everyday was a lazy day, unmotivational.
Isolating from other people, made my heart isolate even more. (Even from the people inside my house.) The distance just grew further away.
Right now, it is just me, myself and I. I try to survive on my own, but lately, getting up is a struggle.
I try to self-sustain but even so, it is not enough. I crave assurance, affirmation and appreciation.
I can't self-sustain because maybe, I— 'we' humans are not made that way.
We are made to empower one another and make them remember they are not alone in trying times.
Keep reaching out, until your hand pass through the dark thick clouds. Don't let the people you care about feel lonely.
And let us not try to survive on your own, grab a hand, hold it tight and walk in the light of God.
—These are the things I tell myself but I struggle to live with.
