The Habits of a Piece of Shit

I like dogs, food, and men.

[thepowergame-deactivated2015091]

the cheese always falls off the top shelf if i open the door too fast

[laughcentre]

this is truly a magnificent beautiful picture of cheese falling down

[pantywitch]

Its like cherry blossoms cascading from trees in the wind

[ruinedchildhood]

[amazoogle]

[miyku]

whenever I read anything about cryptocurrency my brain automatically goes

Ahh yes....bubble money

[ravynfyre]

Comedy. Gold.

[jackironsides]

The person running that channel watching Parks & Rec: ‘This is not a comedy show, it is a documentary.’

[rogha]

there’s got to be at least one trans woman named eve out there whose deadname is adam. and she’s the funniest person to ever grace this earth with her presence.

[sneef-to-a-snorf-fight]

I feel so appreciated :3

[schakira]

WE FOUND HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

[chiribomb-deactivated20220820]

[rogha]

there’s got to be at least one trans woman named eve out there whose deadname is adam. and she’s the funniest person to ever grace this earth with her presence.

[sneef-to-a-snorf-fight]

I feel so appreciated :3

[schakira]

WE FOUND HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

[chiribomb-deactivated20220820]

[theawkwardqueerturtle]

GOD SAID ADAM AND EVE SO SHE WAS BOTH

[sneef-to-a-snorf-fight]

I said this same thing! Except I’m also bi so I add to it a little 😇

[ur-stepdad]

this is so fucking funny

imagine getting banished from your homeland for running a con and when you go to get a prophecy about what to do next the priestess is like

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[the-void-8-my-soul-deactivated2]

OMG That is so cute!!

Also the reason that the cat did this is actually because they are mirroring their owner. If their owner treats the thing (or in this case book) with respect and has made it very clear with their actions that the thing is important the cat will take notice and mirror this behavior!

[wikizooia-deactivated20241007]

Great addition! However, this is actually because the cat is Muslim.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

sokka was the only kid in that show with social skills and a brain and he effortlessly charmed literally every. single. person. he met especially royalty no matter the age or nation this is why the writers had to nerf him and make him a non bender cause if he coulda bend anything the show woulda been called sokka and his good pal the avatar and its main conflicts would all be resolved by the third episode tops

[tydy-the-megnet]

[krump-macula]

[tiktoksforlosers]

X

[everythingfox]

“My mom adopted a cat that brings her slippers to her every morning. I didn’t believe her until she got it on camera finally”

(Source)

[moveslikekeithrichards]

perfect !!!

[fibrepunkfox]

Sharing this because I also feel as a fibre artist that the prospect of a granny square cardigan being sold for $35 means that someone somewhere is being exploited and criminally underpaid. That person doesn't have to exist in my geographic location for me to care about that.

[gallusrostromegalus]

When my mom was volunteering with city council, they took a bunch of field trips to various civic infrastructures to learn how the worked so they could learn How The Fuck A City Works. On one of these trips, they were all in a bigass van doing icebreaker questions and one of the questions was "Whats your largest scar and how did you get it?"

And everyone in the van wanted to brag so there was "I did this with an awl while woodworking" and "Oh I got my appendix out" and the like, until they get to my Mom in the farthest back seat in the van and she pulls her shirt up a bit to show the six-inch scar on her abdomen. She's 4'10" so it looks enormous on her, bright red because that's how she scars.

"Oh My God!" people gasped.

"I had to have an eight-pound growth removed from my abdomen." She said, sitting back down to a chorus of horrified gasps.

"What happened?" Asked the trip coodinator, walking right into it.

"Oh, They're in college now!" She said.

-

"Sorted out who had a sense of humor in that group real fast." Mom explained later.

[gallusrostromegalus]

@dreamingdormouse, I appreciate the Macbeth reference, becuase I make it all the time, and every single time, my mom goes "UNTIMELY RIPPED MY FOOT. YOU WERE A MONTH AND A HALF OVERDUE! THAT'S WHY WE HAD TO CUT YOU OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE."

[weaver-z]

If you ever, and I mean EVER think that you fucked something up royally, remember that the organizers of the 1904 Olympic marathon:

- Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course

- Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual fucking rat poison

- Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries

- Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open

- Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track

- Fucked the other competitors up SO BADLY that Tom Hicks—the guy who ate RAT POISON and was HALLUCINATING the entire run—came in first place

[postmarxed]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh did I forget to mention that Foxfire aka fairy fire aka chimpanzee fire exists

Foxfire is not a specific type of fungi, but rather refers to bioluminescence emitted by multiple species. Fun fact: it was used to illuminate the barometer and compass needles in one of the world’s first submarines, which incidentally was named Turtle.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

wrong gif wrong gif WRONG FUCKING GIF

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I HAD A TOTAL OF 3 GIFS SAVED IN MY DOWNLOAD FOLDER I JUST CLICKED THE FIRST ONE THAT WAS GREEN & GLOWING I’M SORRY