Schrodinger’s Shitposts

It is shitty. And it isnt.

[elopewithmemisssprivate]

The Magnus Archives in Australia would be so chaotic

just fucking spiders everywhere

everyone would take the piss out of the staff even more

Jon wearing sweatervests & shit even though its like 40 degrees- passes out due to heat stroke weekly

Martin because of this on the patrol to check in with everyone every 10 minutes to make sure they’re hydrated

Tim exclusively shopping at Dangerfield

Tim also obsessed with Fairy Bread

Sasha being a Melbourne hipster who will disown you if you dont vote Greens

Jared Hopworth as a bogan

Roo avatars

Did I mention how many spiders there would be? And how badly that would turn out for Jon?

Just. Just the entire cast with Aussie accents.

Aussie Elias.

Jon still speaks Queen’s English but getting mocked absolutely mercilessly

No swearing restrictions. Ever.

Nicknames include- Timmog. Sasho. Jonno. Marto.

Tim increasingly frustrated because he cannot come up with a good nickname for Elias

Gertrude roo shooting as a hobby

Elias wearing thongs to work.

Theres just so much potential

[elopewithmemisssprivate]

Because there are not already enough chaotic uquiz’s

https://uquiz.com/yScRlI

[elopewithmemisssprivate]

I am so upset

I was giving some guests a tour of my room and I was being all silly and shit, and I have a walk-in-robe and so when I got up to it I was all 

“and here’s a closet big enough for me to hide in when my grandma comes over”

and no one got the joke :(((

[bewbin]

LETS BRING BACK 1337 SPEAK 

[bewbin]

why do i even try 

[bunney]

I THoUGHT YOU MEANT THE YEAR

[renthony]

“Sir” not in a masculine way but in a “heavily armored knight with an ambiguous gender and a very large sword” sort of way.

[unrequited-sapphic-love]

skjdhskjdhskajdh guys guys she called my hair fluffy today and tousled it all up brb dying

[elopewithmemisssprivate]

I really want a very irrelevant meaningless tattoo

because i love absurdism and i love contemplating the meaningless of life so i want something stupid on my body to laugh in the face of the concept of "permanance"

nothing lasts! ima decompose bitch

[elopewithmemisssprivate]

ok so calling tma fans

idk if anyone has made this connection but I’ve been getting super into lovecraft recently and read this short story which i am convinced is the inspiration for leitners

'The Picture in the House' by H. P. Lovecraft

check this out. it was one of lovecrafts early works (tw for racism coz like lovecraft was a racist prick) but like this entire concept is giving so many tma vibes like yk??? i am convinced this jonny must have read this or like works inspired by this or something

anyways @jonnywaistcoat

[jonnywaistcoat]

So, the idea of haunted books or books with strange powers is a very old one (lot of historical cultures had very direct associations between writing and magic), so I don’t think it’s possible to ascribe the inspiration for leitners in general to any single source (though The Picture in the House would definitely have been in the mix for me, as would MR James’ Canon Alberic’s Scrapbook)

The idea of the itself library, though, came from a very specific short film from 2004 called L'Inventaire Fantôme (The Phantom Inventory).

There used to be a subtitled version out there, but I can’t find it I’m afraid. There’s not much dialogue, though, and all you need to know is that the dude in the hat is a bailiff and when he asks the man on the wheelchair what he collects, the reply is “Memories, Monsieur. Memories nobody wants anymore”.

Anyway, it was a bit of an influence on a bunch of Magnus stuff, so enjoy!

[filthyprotozoan]

✨✨seeing queer strangers in public my beloved✨✨

[brownblackandblue]

Nonsense is not a good idea for me to indulge in.

The messy thoughts and the messier products. The incomprehensible whispers and the illegible handwriting.

The vague shouting that conveys no words I understand but the urgency linger in my mind.

It worries me. The nonsense, the chaos.

It builds an ever growing anxiety in me.

[elopewithmemisssprivate]

but isnt the beauty of life in the nonsense?

when one falls in love, its the messy thoughts and illegible handwriting that steals your heart!!

in the chaos of the world lies the humanity and that never fails to make me smile

indulging in nonsense, in messiness, in things that dont make sense and probably shouldnt is what brings colour to the world

[eternalgirlscout]

*slams gavel*

worm court is now in session

all writhe

[sosuperawesome]

Vincent Giarrano on Instagram

[elopewithmemisssprivate]

Wake up new alignment chart dropped

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Dwarf: “We need to distract the goblins somehow. Do you have anything useful?” Half elf: ”All I have is a bag of flour”

Human: ”We could pretend its cocaine, goblins would go for coke”

Me (DM): ”Roll for deception” *rolls 19*

Me: ”And the goblins start snorting the flour.”

[schrodingers-shitpost05]

It was pretty funny

[bransonreese]

[notcaycepollard]

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

[serpentking456]

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

[bransonreese]

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

[severepaperhideout-deactivated2]

But buddy.

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basics ))

[bransonreese]

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

[slangwang]

this post is transcendent

[aurora-gleam]

You’re thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.

Source: I’M A MARINE BIOLOGIST

[bransonreese]

No, I’m thinking of sharks.

Source: I’m a superior marine biologist

[kakyoiniisms]

[queen-of-ink-and-paper-deactiva]

Tag Game

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people you want to get to know better. I was tagged by @petty-spagetti, thank you!

Nicknames: None? Zodiac: Sagittarius Height: 5’6"… maybe Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff, but with a little Ravenclaw Last thing I googled: SAT prep stuff, college, and scholarships Do you get asks: ummmm kinda? I’d like more tho *wink wink* Amount of sleep: pretty scheduled 8 hours of sleep every night Lucky number: 23 What are you wearing: light wash jeans with holes in the knees, a dark purple and red striped shirt, and my converse. Plus my jacket, but I can’t go without bc i am always cold Dream trip: just somewhere with people i love, no real destination Languages: English, tiny bit of Spanish and Latin Favorite songs: ummmmmm anything Dean Lewis right now. It changes often. Random fact: I just finished the shadowhunter tv show with my bros. Aesthetic: eh, idk. bookworm?

thanks for the tag! Ill do: @illyrianbeauty @illyrian-bookworm @book-loving-fangirl @too-many-fandoms-too-count @legless-fish-on-rollerskates @ifangirlninja @somanyfandomsonly1username

[legless-fish-on-rollerskates]

Yay, thank you!

Nicknames: Trio

Zodiac: Scorpio

Height: 5'3"

Hogwarts house: Gryffindor

Last thing I googled: Scarborough fair lyrics

Do you get asks: not really

Amount of sleep: generally between 3 and 8 hours

Lucky number: 11

What are you wearing: flannel pants and a summer camp t-shirt

Dream trip: buy a school bus, empty it out, road trip accross the country with friends

Languages: English and basic Spanish

Favorite songs: mostly stuff by Carbon Leaf and Great Big Sea

Random fact: I had pet goats growing up

Aesthetic: pretzel rods, rusty anchors, fireflies

Tag time! Uhh…. I’m terrible at this part, ok, let’s see, @tasha9317 @kotlcaddict @make-kotlc-gayer @2minutestoarmageddon @hedgehogtheferretsnake @holycatsandrabbits @snakesqueer @official-lucifers-child @balanceofawalnut @unadulteratedpaperparadise @imaramennoodle @imhavinga-moment-here

That’s 12… yeah, that’s all I’ve got. 12 is kinda backwards 21 though, so it’s fine.

(If I missed you I’m sorry!!!)

[make-kotlc-gayer]

Thank you :D

Nickname: Drey

Zodiac: Aries

Height: More than 5'5

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff

Last thing I googled: Something on translate or spotify, idk

Do I get asks: Kinda……. (Dude I love asks ;) )

Amount of sleep: A little less than eight hours

Lucky number: Oh boy 7 and 13, though I have recently added 10 and 3 to the list

What am I wearing: Leggings and my swim team’s shirt bc I had a meet

Dream trip: Europe :D

Languages: French and English babyyyy (I know parts of other shit too)

Favorite songs: Too manyyyy

Random fact: I’m eating pizza tonight!!!

Aesthetic: I still don’t know what to put here….

Tagging: @linhamon-roll @gays-of-the-lost-cities @ultralazycreatorfan @suldreen-saga @bronte-deserves-better @elover05 @theunmappedstar @linhxsophie ok just consider yourself tagged if you wanna do it :/

[pink-lemonadey]

lady1. Nickname: My name doesn’t have any good nicknames… :(

2. Zodiac: Cancer

3. Height: 5′4

4 Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw!

5. Last thing I googled: Cartoon Network Shows

6. Do I get asks: I few every now and then, but not many

7. Amount of sleep: today I got 6 hours

8: Lucky Number: 22

9. What am I wearing: my brother’s old McLendon sweater and black leggings

10. Dream trip: can i choose a trip around the world? so I’d get to go everywhere?

11. Languages: English 

12. Favorite songs: currently they’re ‘Into the Unknown’ (Panic! At The Disco version), Smile by Mikky Ekko, Radioactive by Imagine Dragons, Budapest by George Ezra, Weak by AJR, and those are just a few!

13. Random Fact: My current hyperfixation is the MCU

14. Aesthetic: Uhhhhh I like a lot of aesthetics, but I really love vintage and pastel!

Tagging: @ghostkingaxsthetics @honestly-just-a-mess @ella-enchanted27 @ladystinaheks and literally anyone who wants to do this

[ghostkingaxsthetics]

Blep okay

1. Nicknames: Don’t have any, but I change my name to Astrid at Starbucks if that counts :/ (don’t ask why)

2. Zodiac: LEOOOOOO

3. Height: 5’3 ½ :’)

4. Hogwarts House: Gryffindor!

5. Last thing I googled: Olympia State Building

6. Do I get asks: I don’t believe so

7. Amount of sleep: I got 3??? I think???

8. Lucky number: 5

9. What i am wearing: distressed black jeans, light blue denim jacket and a weird dark blueish green button up

10. Dream trip: Literally anywhere works

11. Languages: English, Hindi, Punjabi and French

12. Favourite songs: Bullet in a gun by Imagine Dragons, Sarah Smiles by P!ATD, Hallelujah by P!ATD, Sunshine Riptide by FOB and so much more.

13. Random fact: I sneeze when I look at the sun :)

14. Aesthetic: Kinda of edgy, but really it’s so many aesthetics in one.

Tagging: @chiefhiccstrid @comet-lorcan @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @tysonrunningfox @tumblrbot @ashelynx @brackdless and whoever sees this

[you-get-killed-walk-it-off]

Thanks for the tag :)

1. Nicknames: I don’t really have any…

2. Zodiac: Capricorn

3. Height: 5′5

4. Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

5. Last thing I googled: Falcon and the Winter Soldier teaser

6. Do I get asks: nope

7. Amount of sleep: I think six hours…

8. Lucky number: 7

9. What I’m wearing: dark blue jeans, gray music hall of fame t-shirt, and green plaid jacket

10. Dream trip: I think going to London would be really cool

11. Languages: English

12. Favorite songs: Good Life by OneRepublic, Bad Day by Daniel Powter, 7 Years by Lukas Graham, Not Over You by Gavin DeGraw, Rescue Me by OneRepublic

13. Random fact: I took a Brazilian jiu-jitsu class for 3 years

14. Aesthetic: vintage

Tagging: @jlaw, @incorrect-spiderson, @anintroverteddemon, @tnystrk-exe, @redfoxwritesstuff, @asgardodinsons and anyone who wants to do this :)

[incorrect-spiderson]

Thanks for tagging me lovie💕

1. Nicknames: Cam, Candance, Camero, cam a roni and cheese, Sikes

2. Zodiac: Gemini

3. Height: 5’7”

4. Hogwarts House: Huffleclaw

5. Last thing I googled: How to exterminate small children and get away with it (that’s a fun story)

6. Do I get asks: Sí

7. Amount of sleep: …. 3-8 hrs depends on the night

8. Lucky number: 7

9. What I’m wearing: Purple sweater, black tights, converse, parrot socks

10. Dream Trip: Travel around Europe with my grandfather…

11. Languages: English and dumbass

12. Favorite songs: I can’t choose just a few cause I literally listen to every genre

13. Random fact: uuuuhhhh I’m good friends with an NFL player?? Is that cool??

14. Aesthetic: Probably basic white gorl

Tagging: All of my followers!! Please I want to get to know y’all.

[sarcasticspiderman]

Yes! I love these tag games!

1. Nicknames: Nope

2. Zodiac: Taurus

3. Height: 5'2"

4. Hogwarts House: Gryffindor through and through

5. Last Thing I Googled: archive of our own

6. Do I Get Asks? Every once and awhile

7. Amount of Sleep: Not even close enough

8. Lucky Number: 7

9. What I’m Wearing: Light blue jeans, tan ankle boots, white t-shirt (with a pocket), denim jacket, my harry potter charm bracelet with a golden snitch necklace and my grandmother’s ring

10. Dream Trip: Not only to travel everywhere but to truly experience the different cultures of other countries. Its one of the reasons i want to join the peace corp

11. Language: English, a tiny bit of Latin, Meme, and Vine

12. Favorite Songs: Oh God this is hard. Currently its Teenagers by MCR, Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time by P!atD, Playing God by Paramore, Go the Distance from Hercules, and The Room Where it Happened from Hamilton

13. Random Fact: I can bend each of my thumbs all the way back to touch my wrists

14. Aesthetic: Geeky and nerdy but with a splash of feminity and a pinch of edginess

I tag @peterparkersshitlist, @govermentassignedbees, @frog-in-tom-hollands-mouth, @halo-magicmoon, @loki–of–jotunheim, @schrodingers-shitpost05, @allthefandomposts, and @impartialbias

[schrodingers-shitpost05]

Thank you!! These things are fun!

1. Nicknames: Gen, V-V, Siri (to my annoyance), Robot (also to my annoyance), I had one teacher who called me “Vieve,” which was weird.

2. Zodiac: Aquarius

3. Height: 5'7"

4. Hogwarts House: Gryffindor, originally, but I changed my answers because I wanted Ravenclaw, so I got Ravenclaw the second time

5. Last Thing I Googled: Creepy Podcasts (I love a good scare)

6. Do I Get Asks? Never. Actually never.

7. Amount of Sleep: Around 7 hrs (1am-8am)

8. Lucky Number: 9 or 81 (or 27)

9. What I’m Wearing: School uniform (yuck)

10. Dream Trip: historical tour of Europe!!!!!!!!!

11. Language: English, and a little Old Norse

12. Favorite Songs: Literally anything by the Shins. They’re awesome

13. Random Fact: I just got into the school Wicked production and am very excited (even though I’m only a munchkin)

14. Aesthetic: I try to go dark academia, but end up just being nerdy/vintage

Tagging: @bruised-like-the-galaxy @fflow-wolff @the-lady-ath3na @mega-overcaffeinatedstudent @colinthedeity @thoughtsofanalieninlove

[futuremoji]

Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

[futuremoji]