The Scientific Endeavors of a Bog Witch

A 30-y-old post-doc researching bog bilberries. Regularly wading through a swamp in fishing boots, chasing away mosquitoes with a clipboard. My Alma mater is Vienna University in Austria.

[charlesoberonn]

One of my favorite scientific papers is Cyllage City COVID-19 Outbreak Linked to Zubat Consumption, which was published in March 2020 by the very real American Journal of Biomedical Science and Research.

That journal is one of many predatory "open-access" scientific journals that have no peer review process and let basically anybody publish their nonsense there for a fee. The paper was published as a trap to show how easy it is to get published by these kinds of predatory sham "science" journals.

The paper lists its co-authors as Nurse Joy, Prof. Elm, and Dr. Gregory House.

It cites papers such as "Make it Double: Coronavirus outbreak reaches Antarctica" by "J James" and "J Jessie" for "Rocket Science Monthly", and "Phobia of Bats and Its Applications in Criminal Justice" by "Wayne B" for "Gotham Forensics Quarterly", as well as real papers about fraudulent predatory journals.

[charlesoberonn]

"[...]To this literature we add a report from Cyllage City in the Kalos region, France,

[...] the outbreak is remarkable as no residents are known to have travelled to infected areas in recent months; however an unknown number of international visitors have passed through the city via the Connecting Cave east of the city linking to Routes 7 and 8 of the Kalos County highway network.

Epidemiologists believe it highly likely that a journal publishing this paper does not practice peer review and must therefore be predatory."

[hidden-but]

The article on the journal's page (x) has not been retracted yet, and I can see how the first two paragraphs create the illusion of it being legit.

But gods, the references

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[great-and-small]

The group chat officially deemed me an “eccentric” just because I’m doing an Argonian ichthyologist play-through of Skyrim rn where my character is writing a thesis on Cyrodilic Spadetails and I shared the character’s hypothetical research folder that I created to help with my immersion in the role.

Like sorry I take the RP in RPG seriously but how else would I get into the headspace of a character who is only slaying dragons to sell their bones and fund research that will hopefully be published in the Tamriel Journal of Limnetic Science??

[wtf-scientific-papers]

Since gastrin-4 (identical with CCK-4) is a potent hormone releaser, since we had plenty of the tetrapeptide from LEO Pharma, and since we had observed CCK-neurons in the hypothalamus innervating the pituitary, we also wished to examine the effect of the tetrapeptide of growth hormone secretion. In a pilot experiment, I consequently injected a bolus of gastrin-/CCK-4 intravenously into myself and a colleague (Dr. Thue W. Schwartz). The effect on growth hormone secretion was small, but the “side” effect was dramatic.

Half a minute after the injection of CCK-4, we experienced the beginning of what was to be a full-blown panic attack. The symptoms were intense anxiety, with a fear of dying, and a strange sense of the world sliding away, accompanied by palpitations, sweating, and faintness. The attack peaked after 5–8 min, and then gradually disappeared during the following 15–20 min. None of us had experienced such an attack before. Of course, we wanted to follow it up. However, shortly after, my colleague moved to Chicago, and I got a busy chair in Copenhagen. In July 1984, however, Vanderhaeghen and Crawley organized an international conference on “Neuronal Cholecystokinin” in Brussels. The last session of the conference was entitled “Clinical significance of neuronal cholecystokinin”. The chairman asked in the general discussion whether anyone in the audience beyond the session-speakers had observations of clinical interest. I therefore described the experienced panic attacks provoked by CCK-4. […] Since then, the volume of clinical and experimental publications about CCK-4 and panic disorder has grown overwhelmingly, as also reflected in later reviews.

J.F. Rehfeld, Cholecystokinin and Panic Disorder: Reflections on the History and Some Unsolved Questions. Molecules 26, 5657 (2021). 10.3390/molecules26185657

[science-from-a-bog]

"Aside from testing on mice, on the day of purchasing the bog bilberries a biological testing was performed on one of the researchers (J.P.), who ingested 250g servings of the berries in half-hour intervals, 750g in total. No harmful or inebriating effects were observed."

Piechocka, J., and Szymczyk, F. (1955). Badania nad Vaccinium uliginosum L. Borowka bagienna. Rocz. Panstw Zakl. Hig. 6, 109–117. Translated from Polish by me.

[science-from-a-bog]

The most relatable part of His Dark Materials was when Mary Malone’s research got defunded so she immediately threw herself into the first mythical mystery that the universe sent her way.

Mystical physics theory that changes the entire concept of known universe? Interdimensional travel? High chance of dying? Sign me the FUCK up everything is better than groveling for more funding

[science-from-a-bog]

The time has come when I have to find another job or grovel for more research money and FOR GOTDAMN SAKE CAN SOMEONE OFFER ME A MYTHICAL MYSTERY INSTEAD

[wtf-scientific-papers]

Clinical Syndromes are not God’s gift to cognitive neuropsychology: A reply to a rebuttal to an answer to a response to the case against syndrome-based research

Caramazza and Badecker (1991)

[science-from-a-bog]

#read this to the tune of The Rattlin’ Bog#life in academia

[write-on-world]

Well put. (Source: Writing About Writing Facebook page)

[12b6]

as a lawyer who’s been practicing for six years now I can say with certainty that this 100% applies to lawyers

[johanna-swann]

Me: My writing is so bad. :(

Meanwhile at Disney: Somehow, Palpatine has returned.

[autumngracy]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it's healthy for academics to have professional feuds. enrichment activity

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Holy shit. "The demese ef the Ne'enderthels: Wes lengege a fecter?" published in the Science magazine

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

short but sweet

[wtf-scientific-papers]

[‘But no living man am I’: Bioarchaeological evaluation of the first-known female burial with weapon from the 10th-century-CE Carpathian Basin]

Tihanyi et al. (2024)

[wtf-scientific-papers]

[As strongly requested by the reviewers, here we cite some references [[35], [36], [37], [38], [39], [40], [41], [42], [43], [44], [45], [46], [47]] although they are completely irrelevant to the present work.]

Yang et al. (2024)

[science-from-a-bog]

Yeaah, that happens way too often and the reason is that the reviewer is pushing their own publications to increase their citation index.

If they are truly not relevant to the work, you (as a corresponding author) should take the issue up to the journal editors and accuse the reviewer of gross unethical misconduct.

I did it once already and I'll do it again.

[neat-deadandlive-things]

When I was in kindergarten, I wanted to be "A Mad Scientist" when I grew up. Honestly, I watched a lot of cartoons and I'm pretty sure I thought that was the only viable career in science. Basically I wanted to mix funky coloured liquids in beakers. Well after 2 degrees and too many years paying tuition, I've made it.

This is it. My kindergarten self is satisfied.

[neat-deadandlive-things]

I love filtering and watching the Evil Science go from "What are you doing in my swamp" green to "Actively trying to poison my 50s husband with jello salads" green.

[kaijuno]

[wizardarchetypes]

once i was presenting research at a conference where everyone who received money from a specific grant had to go to basically be like “and here’s what we’re doing with your money.”

and there was a team there presenting on astrophysics and I truly barely understood a thing they said. my team was there to talk about salamander eDNA, and the juxtaposition between Space Math and swabbing salamanders with cotton-tips just struck me as deeply funny.

Later some of the Space people came by and asked us all about the salamanders and one of them said, “I can’t imagine working with animals and water. It’s all so messy. I don’t know how you stay sane with those variables?”

And I was like, “dude I didn’t even know the math you talked about today even existed.”

And we were both just like 🤝 “love your work. huge fan. I’d rather die than do it though.”

[elodieunderglass]

Just so you know the people who gave you the grant would have spent quite a lot of time before, during and after the event feverishly saying things like “facilitating knowledge exchange across disciplinary boundaries will deliver outcomes in sectors A, B, and C, connecting to the funding strategy at D” because they just wanted an event where they got to eat free sandwiches, and if you told them about this conversation they’d look at you in a slightly wild-eyed way before grabbing you by the lanyard and saying “was there impact, what was the impact” and you could say “well, I got several thousand responses to the story on social media” and they’d look baffled but fascinated at you (the people who give you the money only ever get like 10 views on any of their posts) and walk away saying “outcomes, outcomes”

[hidden-but]

In the future simulations will replace clinical trials - Physical and Engineering Sciences in Medicine

You know i'm fully in the camp of Computer Simulations Cannot Replace Animal Trials In Our Lifetimes, and frankly, this Topical Debate between scientists will probably not persuade anyone of anything, given it's meant to be a discussion by experts read by experts. However, in my experience with computer simulations, the final paragraph of the article sums it up well:

Simulations can be useful to gain insights into therapies only when we know/understand the mechanisms of action. Otherwise, they yield results based on non-existent information having no/limited interpretation and no generalizability.

[neat-deadandlive-things]

I have tried books.

I have tried primary literature.

I have tried online picture keys.

I will now resort to looking at pictures of these unidentifed algal cells on my computer screen and yelling "WHAT ARE YOU WHAT ARE YOU WHAT ARE YOU?!" and crying.

[science-from-a-bog]

Happy World Wetlands Day!

A yearly reminder that wetlands are an essential part of local ecosystems and their protection is necessary to mitigate climate change!

Go say hi to your local bog! Learn about plants and critters that live there!

Here are some cool photos of wetlands I took on my research trips:

Blanket bog on the slopes of Austrian Alps

Alaskan permafrost

Alpine peat bog

Alpine glacier lake turned peat bog

Lowland swampy pine forest near a fishing pond

Norwegian tundra

[thatsbelievable]